Guys, how do you feel about other men flirting with your crush?

[Anonymous]

For example:

1. Another man leaving a flirty/sweet message on your crush's 'wall.'

2. Openly flirting with your crush.

Would that impact how you feel about her?

Would that change anything?

Yes, I'd be discourage and give up on this girl.

No, I'd still like her and wait for my chance.

[Anonymous]

Is this someone I'm already going out with? If I am, then I don't care. That just means other guys find her attractive. I'd think there was something wrong if no other guys wanted to get her attention.

If it's someone I'm not going out with, then it depends. If I see that she's responding back positively to his flirting, then I'll back off. It's counter-productive to both of us to compete. We're not animals, we're human. If she likes him, she'll pick him, and that's the end of that. If she doesn't like him, then she won't respond positively to his flirting. Once I see that she's very clearly and explicitly closed the door for this other guy (i.e. not leading him on, not letting him linger, not leaving her options for him open, etc.) then I'll start flirting with her. I don't want to start flirting with a game-player, I don't want the other guy to feel like I'm the a-hole that took "what could have been" away from him, and I don't want bad feelings with this other guy. So, I want to be sure the dust is completely settled before I start anything.

[Bekalc]

If you don’t tell her how you feel than she may pick the other guy. I have a guy friend that frankly I really like. He is a great guy. But while he has flirted he has never asked me out.

There is another guy that I don’t know nearly as well but has been a bit flirty with me. A friend of mine and I ran into him and my friend felt strongly I should encourage him.

I ended go in a sucky situation with both men in the same room. I made the decision to make a point to talk to and encourage the second guy.

As for the second guy it’s not that he is second best I simply don’t know him as well as the first. If I were to get in a relationship with him at that point my feelings would transfer

[Bekalc]

It’s not about competition it’s about letting someone know their options. In my case I learned the hard way about crushes and holding out for them. If one guy is showing interest and the other you isn’t she’s going to be smart and go for the guy who is.

[Brando]

It wouldn't change how I feel about her, and for him it doesn't really matter unless he knows she is "taken". But even then, I only really get irritated because it's annoying to see. I'm not worried about her going off with him because I would trust her to be able to handle herself. I think that not only am I not a crazy possessive person, but that it's probably annoying for a girl to not have any trust coming from a girl. Almost as if she was being treated like a child. 

So yeah, if it got to be really intense, I would say something to her. Just a casual "What's up with that guy? Does he always flirt and come on to you like that?". 

[swimmer76]

The second option exactly happened to me. When I was at the bar and my date was in the bathroom, 2 guys were about to approach me. When my date was coming back, he told me that the guys were about to come and talk to me, and I basically said OK, like in a way I did not care at all. I wasn't looking at anyone else when we were talking anyways. Also, during that same date, a guy put his hand on my waist. I asked my date if that was him and he said no. I told him a guy touched my waist and he asked if there needs to be a fight involved and I said no. Instead I kissed my date right in front of the other guy to know that I was there with HIM not to talk to other guys.

[jokersgirl]

I know I'm not a guy.. but the other night when I was at a party, my friend whom I've like for months was talking and flirting with another girl. I tried to ignore it but it did bother me a little.. But then I'd go over and start talking to him too :P

[martyfellow]

God my wife is so attractive, there'd be something wrong with guys if they didn't try to flirt with her occasionally. I sure don't hold it against her. I went after her when she was involved with another guy, never crossed my mind to hesitate, she was overwhelmig.

Guys are always flirting openly with some of my women friends here in China when we are having a conversation too. I don't have a 'girl friend' here but I sort of chuckle when this happens. Hey they are so cute in their miniskirts and tights, I don't blame guys for interrupting.

[martyfellow]

How about a best answer?

[martyfellow]

Mine was better!

[Asker]

Sorry ;-)

[martyfellow]

Aw, not important, but you know you can change your choice for maybe 24 hours, I think.

[Anonymous]

Other than this "Brando" guy, it really just depends on the guy and/or girl's personality, when it gets to the point to where either one thinks about either continuing to do what they originally had been doing or choose to make a move. Its such a normal but uncomfortable feeling to get jealous of a crush when he/she is being approached by someone other than you. I dont understand how this "Brando" guy doesn't get jealous as if he's a guy that just is way too mature or wise about this kind of thing, but too me actually comes off as a little arrogant and an annoying sounding guy more than he thinks of himself. I think if you really like a girl, but you are fine with him/her being open with another person... Than either you dont have the right sense and mindset and you just choose not to fight for a possible with her, or you're just plain ignorant.
Now in my opinion just because a guy is horny and wants to be with a girl, compared to a guy that isn't AS horny as another guy is, that that definitely shouldn't be seen as a reason as to a guy choosing not to pursue or pursue (for the horni-er guy), a girl that they could see something serious and possible with a girl they're interested in. Because common sense is, if you truly dont feel any emotion in a situation like this then you truly are mislead by your own self in thinking you either really like a girl or wanna even be in a relationship.

[CallMeTheSmokeTrain]

You need to shoot yourself in the balls so you dont spread your ignorent offspring on this earth

[DragonLord]

for my own answers I don't give a flying f***(pardon my french) either she picks me first when and if I ask her out or she can f*** off if she is bitching,moaning and complaining about the jerk she is dating like one of my favorite quotes and I tell her time to nut up or shut up I don't give a f***. And so shut up and also tell her she made me pissed so f*** off and leave me alone you choose him not me I don't want to hear it and I'll walk away and find someone else ha how she likes me now bitch.

[DragonLord]

and you heard me right I'll give her a peace of my mind and then walk away never ever give her a chance and yes for all we know she gives him her virginity and she wants me no way I will date her I'm saving my virginity till marriage and I expect her to do the same

[CallMeTheSmokeTrain]

You need to kill yourself

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

it wouldn't discourage me, don't see why. But it'd probably bother me, I mean who wouldn't be bothered. I think what'd impact my feelings more are how she handled it as well as how she treats me. I mean, if I'm already gonna be considered just a friend I'll just try and focus on other stuff more, but I dunno.

[TheDigitalSaint]

I need an option 3. What about just going up to her in person and flirting with her, and asking her out? Why do I need to wait and watch some other guy flirt with her when I could already be dating her if she said yes to my advances? Facebook stalking a girl's profile doesn't get you any closer to dating her. :)

[shumailkazimi]

i prefer its natural if shez my crush shez not my property so there are lots of people who can be better than me ...if I can try even they have equal right to try ...the decision will be of her so yes she needs more options and no problem in that its natural

[SlickRicky]

I selected B, but I wouldn't "wait for my chance" when going after a crush, nothing good ever came from waiting for a chance. You just gotta go for it, rejection is a possible outcome, but it is better than twiddling your thumbs hoping she figures out you like her. ya dig?

[sixstring]

I get jealous, but doesn't make me give up on the girl. Unless it's very clear she likes him more than me.

[Anonymous]

Writing on a wall counts as flirting now?

I wouldn't care, to be honest. If I have a crush on a girl, I don't wait around. I make a move.

Leave the guys writing on the walls to their own devices. I'm going to make a move in person, always. Then let the chips fall where they may.

[NotSoBad]

i wouldn't be discouraged and I definitely wouldn't sit around and wait for my chance. I would probably make it a point to ask her out asap. I would go out, make sure we had a great time, and then just let it take its course.

[Guysensei]

well, other guys flirting with her is vague. how is she responding? Girls might get more than one guy flirting with her but at the end of the day shell end up with the one she likes the most, so I'm not worried :)

[MrFlirtatious1992]

It depends how she reacted back. If she was flirty to them in the same way then I would forget about her. She isn't the kind of girl I want to be with. She's probably doing this with multiple guys and trusting her would be very difficult.

[Bekalc]

If you haven’t asked her out and your not dating what trust issues. It’s perfectly reasonable for someone who is single to talk too and flirt with multiple guys.

[gaggleii]

I'm not into monogamy so it wouldn't really bother me. I don't think I'm really the jealous type. The girls I see/like can do whatever want away from me.

[Love_is_in_the_air]

1 makes me wana break his legs

2 makes me wana break his neck

in reality I do nothing because I know that the choice is hers and I want her to be happy so id respect her decision if she chooses the other guy.

[WeaponZero]

I can't really tell when anyone is flirting in person. And I don't take anything that happens on the internet seriously.

[malekoniky]

I never react to men doing this!

I react to my crush response to this. I get very jealous if she flirts back.

[sweet_18]

If my boyfriend saw another guy flirting with me, I would expect him to intervene and tell the other guy off

[Guysensei]

why can't you get rid of the guy yourself?

[sweet_18]

why can't he do it for me? too much of a p****? then I wouldn't be dating him

[CallMeTheSmokeTrain]

It sounds like u are the pussy. You are the type of person that needs to be kicked in the teeth then mouth raped by two black dudes

[Anonymous]

i have gotten jealous :( I think its natural.

[cyrus7]

Id get jealous :/ wouldn't say anything though

[Hades]

I'd bail.