How does a hot and heavy relationship go cold so fast and how do I fix it?

[Anonymous]

I met this amazing man online 7 weeks ago. We clicked immediately, it was like we knew each other forever, he said the same. He introduced me to his children after only 3 weeks (I wanted to wait he didn't)

Last Sunday went to a party at his friends, afterward asked me to meet his parents and sister on Thanksgiving after I got home from my mom's and I said yes. The next night after we made love I told him I was crazy about him, and asked where he thought the relationship was going (I know to soon) he said nothing.

He never gave me a time to meet his family. Thanksgiving was here and gone and he hasn't brought up him not calling me to arrange a time to meet his family.

I am so confused, he told me I was the "complete package" and now he is backing off. I am 45 - he is 42 I told him from the beginning I am to old to play games, just want to be in a serious relationship again. He said he wanted the same.

His texts have gone from "Hey Babe thinking of you" - quick cold answers. Hasn't asked me out in over a week. I asked him to my house on Friday for dinner but he said "no sex" because he was sore from Monday? What? Every time we have been together he was very happy. He did come but he was pretty cold and distant, not at all the touchy feely guy that he has been.

Clearly he is pulling away how do I get him to forget what I asked and get this relationship back on track? Unless I am freaking out for nothing, but the Thanksgiving thing doesn't make me think that I am (plus him not asking me out also has me worried)

Women keep telling me not to do anything not to text, call nothing. I know women that have used this way of thinking and it has NEVER ONCE worked for them, all it does is makes the relationship end without any answers, seems to be an easy way out for the guy.

Really need some advice and fast!

[goodguysfinishlast]

Yes - I agree with you. When a woman stops texting or emailing for a few days, I shut down, forget and move on. Never to talk with them again. I like attention. so just send a nice little text saying how are you, is everything ok.. Don't over do it. and don't send any more.

But to your question. YES after you stated you were crazy for him, everything stopped. Well its not your fault . he started it with inviting you to meet his family and telling you were the complete package. But it sounds like he got cold feet.

So what to do. Follow above, then stop. No contact in 3 days, NEVER I MEAN Never talk with him again. Apparently you don't mean that much to him that he totally ignores you.

Walk with your pride. And forget the age thing. It never meant anything to me, and some guy would be lucky to have someone like you that does not like games. The Man is a fool.

[Asker]

He does like attention, he said that on 2nd date. He text me today asked how I was feeling (I texted him Sat because I had to drive 2hrs to take my mother to the hosp, I ended up having really bad stomach cramps from all the stress) I texted him back telling him that I was better, saying I was going to try to hook up with a grlfrd to go to the gym for a few classes this week. I was hoping for a response about getting 2gether instead 4 hours later I get "Glad 2 hear you are feeling better"

[goodguysfinishlast]

Yup - Don't respond back to that. Take his number off your phone. Doesn't it just make you mad when your trying to start a conversation and it goes no where. Well that being said, don't have a conversation with him any longer.

And if he ever does call, just a simple. Sorry I met someone else will do the trick. And its not a total lie, you met me...lol

It will probably take you a week to 2 to forget him. And don't cry yourself to sleep...

[goodguysfinishlast]

And BTW - if you need to talk, just add me as a friend, I will be happy to answer you back in less than 4 hours...lol. And I am glad your feeling better also.How is mother doing? See really - how hard is it for some guy your seeing to write that?

[Asker]

Really? I really like this guy, and when you live in a small area like I do, I guy with a good job is hard to come by! Does it make a difference that he did stay on the phone with me for an hour on my drive home Saturday night (then I lost service) Isn't there a chance he is just trying to slow things down? I know I sound crazy, just been divorced for 8 years and he is the first guy I had a connection with.

[goodguysfinishlast]

Well - to slow things down - all it takes is to say that and not to give one a cold shoulder. I don't know all the facts, but it needs to be your call. Just don't let yourself get hurt too badly. But seriously, If he does not want to see you...then what?

[Asker]

I was trying not to think about that, but I would like him to say that rather than just disappearing. Either way I will be in for some crying, a lot- then back to the stupid dating sites trying to find someone and only finding a lot of men with part time jobs that have no ambition in life or if they do I just don't click with. A lot has taken place in the last 7 weeks, there wouldn't be enough characters to type here. Mom is doing good, she thought she broke a hip just fractured Thks for askn

[goodguysfinishlast]

Pick yourself up.. Dust off and take a deep breath. It will all work out in the end...Time heals all wounds they say.. I actually wrote a question a week or so ago that may give a bit more insight of my life experience...Its funny, when you start writing things down you can laugh at yourself...but it helps.. Get mom some ice cream and save some for yourself...

[stubbsy]

Listen to your friends, because if he is into you, he will ring no matter what, and he will want to spend time with you, if he doesn't, then he's not as into you as you him,x

[vmw2008]

Sounds like whatever happened before or after the sex really freaked him out. Although, I find it strange he wanted to cut the sex altogether. If you're not about playing games, why not just ask him straight up? Say that you noticed a 180 after you slept together, and if that's all he was interested in to just let you know, or at least tell you what freaked him out.

If he doesn't give you answers or change his behavior, your friends are right, stop contacting him. Not because you're trying to play games and force him to change, but because it is no longer worth it at this point. You deserve a guy that gets closer to you after sex, not pulls back with no answers. How can he respect you if you're clearly showing no respect for yourself chasing after this emotionally unavailable man? He will make judgments about you based on how you put up with this treatment.