Women: the most common reason you reject a guy?

[shadowscapes]

I'm talking about when a guy first meets you and asks for your number.

Whats the most common reason?

I provided some options just to see what happens

You don't like how he looks (And there's nothing wrong with rejecting someone for this reason)

He comes off as creepy, pervy, loser-ish or desperate (like a guy that has no game with women)

He comes off as mild or boring (like, hey nothing wrong with him, but nothing really interesting either)

He comes off as jealous, insecure, angry or untrustworthy (or maybe like a player or heart breaker)

Updates

+1 y

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Pick the answer that corresponds with why you think YOU have been rejected

Updates

+1 y

As for why *I* was rejected.


Maybe because I'm overweight. Maybe because I can be timid sometimes (and at other times to keep the balance, I overdo it in the other direction) and I put on too much of an act. I've been working on fixing these things though.

Updates

+1 y

Interesting trend:


Men think they get rejected because they are too mild and boring, but women reject them because they are creepy-pervy.

[lumos]

I voted B. Most guys who hit on me or approach me decide to do so in the middle of the night when I'm walking home. I've heard all sorts of things, like asking if they are allowed to accompany me home, trying to give me their number so that I can text them when I've come home safely, asking where I'm going etc. All of these things are somewhat fine in theory I guess, but since it's in the middle of the night, I can't trust anyone. Their actions come off as very creepy, and sometimes even pervy depending on how they say it. It makes them look tactless as well. They know girls don't feel safe in the middle of the night when they're alone, so why would they want to bother one? I know it might seem like a nice gesture, but it really does look plain creepy.

As for the other options, I would have voted D, C and then A. I can't deal with aggressive people, players even less. Boring people aren't really my thing either. I'm kind of shy, which makes me more attracted to more outgoing guys since they aren't afraid to take the lead sometimes. And then lastly A, which is the least important one to me. I've liked so many different guys that I can't stay I have a set standard when it comes to looks. I've liked slightly overweight guys, skinny guys, buff guys and everything in between. To me, my attraction pretty much always depends on how the guy carries himself, if he at least tries to take care of his looks and health, if he's confident etc. A handsome face doesn't always last long, which is why I always look for things that will (i.e. a good personality).

[toulouse]

Attraction. I may reject him fir any other reason, but if I'm not attracted to him I wouldn't even find out about the other reasons.

i don't date guys I'm not attracted to hoping till clock some day, or if not at least I get free dinner.

im either attracted to him or I'm not. if I like a guy he may make a good friend, if I'm not attracted to him he won't become more than that.

otherwise presumptuous. I really hare being misunderstood-esp if I make an effort to be totally honest and explicitly clear. it'd disrespectful if someone just decides they'll rely on assumptions based on stereotypes in order to understand a person, when in fact that person is right there you can ask them directly.

then they'll complain they don't understand me-bc I don't happen to fit with their prejudice. but really they just need to ask questions.

two sided problem. hell assume he understands me because he read something in a magazine. and hell assume I understand him because I must have read the same magazine.. so if say I don't understand him, rather than explaining hell assume I'm playing games. then give himself an excuse to do the same.

presumptuosness = complete deal breaker.

[shadowscapes]

that's true. flaws can be tolerated if there's an overall interest and attraction, but if there isn't then there's nothing

[anonymousfille]

we reject guys for several reasons:

-not attracted to him, not because he's not attractive yet because he's not my type.

-I'm already with someone

-I'm interested in someone else

-Not emotionally ready/available to be with someone (right after a breakup, busy with work or school)

-Not comfortable to the guy who's asking me out (creepy, perv, fishy behavior...)

the rest of the descriptions you have listed are thing you won't know about the person until you're involved, then you decide if you can handle to be with the person or not.

[mantobee]

proof that girls only want perfect looking guys

[shadowscapes]

fille: all valid reasons. but yea, it may have more to do with you than him.

manto: if you consider one internet comment as "proof", I question your mental state

[anonymousfille]

@shadowscapes: are you being sarcastic? It truly has to do with us more than you. As I always say there's a lot of good looking guys out there, but I'm not attracted to them all...why? because we don't function like you guys. I understand that guys are turned on by almost any girl, but we're not.

[shadowscapes]

no I wasn't sarcastic. I agreed with you. yeah, guys would have sex with any girl who isn't hideous lol. I won't lie, me too. but yeah, there is more than just physical attraction. its more common that I find girls who having boring personalities than ones that I don't find attractive.

[anonymousfille]

the fact that you guys would sleep with almost any girl is a sad for us...cuz we pick you because your special for us...

[Sbsbdicjf]

@mantobee i guess I'm smarter than you if you literally believe one woman's opinion accounts for the opinion of the entire gender.

Fu k me. What the hell happened to men, today?

[Alessus]

I've been told that most of the time I look angry or scary, so I voted D. Not that I really am angry, most of the time, but I admit I'm not the most welcoming or approachable in demenour and it of course carries over to when I'm approaching a woman, so I don't wonder if I would have come off as the angry type of guy to them. I'm also a bit of a pervert, so I guess there is that too, but it's not that big part of my behavior, so I'd still say D. I have no idea how I look to women since I haven't ever been called handsome, but then again I haven't been called ugly either, so A doesn't seem like the main reason. I'd say C is the least of my worries since I've done a lot of different stuff in my life, so I don't think I'm a boring person, though I am on the serious side, so if they are looking for a partier there are better guys for that.

[AveryBeck]

Attraction is usually the main reason for why a woman would reject a man, or vise-versa. In my case l've been fortunate to never have a problem with my looks, my social status has usually been the reason for why some girls I liked didn't like me back. I was the type of guy who fell in love with the popular girls that never really noticed me. And sadly I've had a few girls tell me that they didn't want to date me because we simply weren't friends with the same kinds of people. You just have to find the type of person similar to yourself.

[RedSmartie]

If you count catcalls, it's because he seems like a pervy creep. I'm generally not open to being asked out by guys I don't even know. That is all kinds of levels of unsafe.

But if I do know him and I reject him, it's probably because he's not really my type (meaning personality wise) or it's clear that he's still not over someone else.

Yeah, I've rejected guys for being too unattractive or boring but usually those reasons are paired with other things as well. For example, I had a coworker who asked me out a few months ago at my old job, and he was really fun to talk to and he likes a lot of the things that I liked. But I rejected him and he assumed that it was because he's overweight (which he is and it didn't exactly improve my opinion of him) but the main reason was that he's such a pessimist that I couldn't possibly be with someone who is such a drag.

Basically, there are lots of reasons why a guy could be rejected and oftentimes it's for multiple reasons.

[shadowscapes]

i see, yeah pessimism is an issue

[RedSmartie]

I view myself as a realist so I take issue with anyone who isn't also a realist. It's much better to be with someone who is a rainbows and butterflies optimist than a pessimist, but neither one is preferred.

[SpoiledJeano]

The list of reasons why I personally reject men.

-Overweight(I workout constantly and we wouldn't have much in common besides gaming if he does)

-the typical cocky douche who thinks he is all that

-jealous type(been there done that)

-anger issues(I have them and if he cannot control his then it will be a blood bath)

-competitiveness(I love a good challenge but if its with everything then I just can't)

-thinks he is Above me

-player

-wears sunglasses at night(weird reason but jeez they are just TOOLS)

-annoying

-too young or too old

-yellow teeth.. I can't do it...

-gross habits

-liars

-guys who party a lot or drink a lot

-smokers

-guys who do drugs

-depressing guys

-I don't really feel a connection

I do give guys a chance, I'm open minded and I try to not be shallow but at the same time I wanna be able to have him go to the gym with me or run with me.

[shadowscapes]

this list makes me feel better about myself lol

[SpoiledJeano]

Sarcasm? I'm seriously an open person. I don't care about race, acne, the color of their eyes or their hair color. I just want to be able to have a basic conversation with him and actually bond. I can't date another stuck up frat boy no matter how good looking he is. Lol

[shadowscapes]

no sarcasm . I'm thankful I don't have these traits

[Janson]

fair list

[SpoiledJeano]

Thanks janson :)

Then you wouldn't have a problem if you approached me. Although I do reject men if I am in a relationship which I am now. But I Always mention my boyfriend so the other guys know I am taken and do not embarrass themselves.

I have made a fool of myself because the guy did not mention his girlfriend. After I found out he had one I was disgusted

[Janson]

You have a nice face so I probably would approach ya. Interesting that you play yugioh though. I still hold on to my cards to this day, with not a single opponent to play against in my area code =)

[SpoiledJeano]

Thanks. I try to look friendly lol

I used to play in school at lunch time. I hung with the nerds

[Janson]

same here. The whole school yard turned into Pegasus's dueling tournament back in the hay day

[SpoiledJeano]

Lol I could b mai valentine jk I'm not blond.

I couldn't have a harpies deck either. It isn't strong enough. I have dark world. I don't know who uses that.. Or if anyone did. Maybe yami bakura?

We had dueling at lunch time in high school. I was the best duelist in school right next to a kid named mason who ran a sick dragon deck

[Janson]

haha, well I stopped collecting after it lost popularity. All I remember is how much I loved my Red Eyes Black Dragon card =) I was planning on selling them some time ago, but they don't quite go for what they use to. By the way, I'm going to send you a friend request, hope you don't mind

[TKoz93]

I'd have to say A & B, but I went with B because that's more often the reason why I just get instantly turned off by a guy. Specifically, when a guy comes off as desperate. If he's acting all eager for sex or some physical contact, or keeps blowing up my phone to the point where I can't get anything done on my end, or stalking me on Facebook or the Internet and then showing off how much of my personal life he can remember when we're actually together. It's flattering, but it's also a turn-off.

[shadowscapes]

yeah so if guys just had a bit more social skills, a bit more self control and a bit more understanding of women, then there wouldn't be an issue at all.

[snowstorm11]

Most often it is because they make me uncomfortable in some way. If they are really pushy or creepy or just makes me feel anxious for some reason I will reject them. I am also more likely to turn someone down if they are a stranger who approaches me. Personally I find it hard to decide if I am attracted to someone at first glance. While I appreciate physical beauty (like anyone) I really need someone who makes me feel comfortable/relaxed in a relationship because I find it hard to become comfortable with people. That is how I base most of my attraction to someone, if they make me feel relaxed and make me laugh I will say yes.

[shadowscapes]

so you would prefer to know the guy from something or have a mutual friend (in real life - not Facebook lol) rather than just having a random guy your age come up to you.

but what can a guy do to make you feel more comfortable and what does a guy do to make you feel uncomfortable

[snowstorm11]

If a guy has a normal conversation with me before asking me out it makes me more comfortable. I also prefer a guy doesn't give me weird compliments (you have a great body, you are sexy, bla bla bla). If a guy comes up to me and talks to me for a while and then says 'hey I like you lets go get pizza' I will most likely say hell yeah. If a guy comes up to me and immediately says 'you are sexy and I think you are hot, can I take you to dinner?' I will decline.

[jpinka]

good question. I picked A

I don't judge by looks alone I usually reject because I'm dating som1, maybe I'm just not interested or most commonly...he dress too much of a type of guy I don't like, thugish, saggie pants, or tells me some stupid line.

If I am single and a simple guy walks up to me and says hi, how are u, I like you a lot may I please have your number I will definitely give him a chance.

I had one guy check me out give me his number on a paper and walked away, didn't even open his mouth. I saw him the next day and he was trying to figure out why I didn't call him. Crap like that shows you have no respect for women.

So I said looks, becasue if he looks like a bad deal. I don't want him

[Anonymous]

Not attracted to him

Felt no connection with him/nothing in common

He came across disrespectful or sleazy

All of the reasons you put in the poll are most likely reasons I've rejected

Oh and there have been guys I've wanted to get with but didn't because we worked together and I didn't want to be gossiped about. I'll reject a guy if I think he'll tell about what we do

[shadowscapes]

the coworker boundary is perfectly respectable. of all the 5 reasons presented, which do you think are the most common for you

[Opinion Owner]

Most common? Probably D, with A and C tying for the runner up.

[Anonymous]

I think most girls reject me because I am not an interesting person. I am those super nice guy, will take care of girl and not player kind. But I am not very interesting either, especially during the first period when I encounter the girl. Hence the first few dates will be like a bit boring and there is no fireworks, if you know what I mean. I have a lot of girls who are interested in me, so they definitely are fine with my look. But it is that the girls feel bored with me, and does not feel secure. So I pick option C.

What I am trying to improve is to be more open-minded, and more open-up to new friends. Because my actual self is not a boring person. It is only because I don't feel comfortable meeting new friends that I hide my actual self.

[Anonymous]

I don't really have one reason but I seem to always find something wrong these days. I guess if I had to pick the biggest reason ide say attraction. The guys I have been going on dates with have good stable jobs but I am finding that I'm not attracted to any of them. One recent date I went on like a month ago I loved the guys personality but I was not attracted to him I saw him more as a friend then someone to date and have sex with at some point. All of the guys I've been going on dates with I met online so I don't meet them in person before getting there numbers only look at the pictures they put up which are sometimes better then they look in person. I am not saying that the guy has to be a model but I want to feel something if I'm gonna become involved with someone. I have not been attracted to my past bfs and did not like them that much for that reason so I do not want to make the same mistake again when I find someone to get serious with.

[lilstrwberygal]

I can't lie and say that if someone was completely hideous I'd entertain a conversation but more often than not it's a personality flaw for why I reject a guy. If someones really nice and not the best looking, I'll usually at least talk to them even if it won't go too far because I can't see any chemistry falling.

The worst personality trait in a guy for me is being overtly sexual right off the bat or desperate. It's just a major turnoff.

[shadowscapes]

yeah , I agree. many guys are oblivious to fact that you just can't be sexual when you just meet a girl.

but what are you are saying is perfectly reasonable. looks do matter but they usually aren't the problem. same with me and women. hot women are common. girls with amazing personalities, not so much

[archer86]

#1 reason: too short ( only 5-feet-6). Single biggest reason for being rejected. The numbers support this.

#2: Black. Yep, it's still an issue.

#3: Not rich enough. What else is new eh?

#4: Ugly. I don't think I'm that bad, but I'm no Denzel. Look at my reality check.

#5: Creepy. Not sure why this is the case.

#6: Not black enough: Yep, I get this from black women.

[BrunetteNYC]

I think that so long as a guy has an interesting life, a good outlook (positive) and is building a future, it's a good place to start. Guys who drink, do drugs, have lots of kids with different women; have no job, don't care for an education, these are big reasons some guys get rejected.

Being confident is a big part in attracting the opposite sex.

[ColdFeet]

Because I panic get nervous and just say no to make the anxiety stop. I'm one of those painfully shy people who do an amazing job at hiding it. Some people even think I'm cocky. I guess I'm really shy but an even better actor.

[shadowscapes]

its how it is

[thatguy67]

lol, I believe it...now that you say that, I understand what happened with this one girl I talked to

[stillagoodgirl]

Its because I don't find him attractive: both his approach & looks. Some guys can be rude but nowadays I'll give them the number caz I don't wana get cussed out.

I did that last week eventhough I didn't find him attractive but stopped replying to his texts.I guess I shouldn't have gave false hope in the first place.

[vishna]

I'm taken..that's been the case every time a nice guy who approaches me in a respectful manner has been declined.

When I'm not taken only guys with the lingo of a gangster fifth grader ask me for my number...

Ain't life peachy :/

[ragazza91]

lol one of those gangsters must have gotten your attention

[shadowscapes]

are you saying that you pretend to be taken as a nice way to reject someone or that quality guys only approach you when you're not single

[vishna]

lol my guys are so nerdy :) always haha

and no, I never pretend. Every time a guy that I truly feel a spark with (or really hit it off well) approaches me I'm taken. And of course I won't give my number out if I'm taken.

[array528]

So - you're essentially admitting you give your number to the thug-a$$hole-douches and they take you - then when a good guy approaches you you stay loyal to the thugz because they are exciting and make your ginie tickle. I see...

[vishna]

Wow no haha, I'm not attracted to someone who professes to be a gangster, hard or thug. The guy I date is a gamer guy with plans of working at Google :) *looks into the sky dreamily* The guy I'm with now is the exception. He approached me in a respectful manner, we became friends, and then started dating. But 9 times out of 10 if I'm single quality guys don't come up to me. 9 times out of 10 when I'm taken, really amazing guys approach me.

[Anonymous]

a combination of A, B, C. It really depends on the situation. Obviously if I think he is gross looking I will reject him. Or, if his approach is weird or I am not interested. Or if I know he is not what I am looking for because I need someone from the same religion or something like that

[Anonymous]

Really, I don't think anyone has ever asked for my number before so I've never rejected anyone on that step. The only time I've rejected someone was when a guy texted me at 3am asking me to come "hang out."

Now if someone where to ask for my number it would be because I have a boyfriend so there's that.

[sangini93]

If he is looking dirty and talking dirty - I will definitely reject him. His social behavior, mental make up and physical fitness - all make him a man. There are many more things to make him my choice.

[Anonymous]

Well most of the time it's a creep... If your standing on the corner calling me sexy than asking for my number, I'm gonna reject you. As of recently though a sweet guy I work with walked me to my train and was telling how beautiful I was but I had to turn down his offer of being more than friends because I have a boyfriend.

[shadowscapes]

i can't believe guys actually do this (I mean about the creeper thing)

[Opinion Owner]

It happens to me all the time where I live... It makes me feel trashy. It's not like I'm showing skin, some guys are just really desperate.

[xjesspandax]

Appearance... but then again, my ex looks like an alien. So it's probs just the aura. Or I'm in love with someone else.

[shadowscapes]

lol

[djvtech]

her ex: link

[xjesspandax]

haha Iwish he looked THAT human!

[confugirl]

Most guys that talk to me don't know how to, well, talk. They are really boring and insecure and pretty much expect me to do all the talking. Since I'm not a big talker, that is a huge turn off.

[shadowscapes]

probably because theyre nervous

[confugirl]

I understand that, but if they completely freeze up, then it isn't going anywhere. I can't help them with that.