My ex threatened suicide tonight because I wouldn't take him back. What do I do?

Question

we dated 3 months. He cheated. I left. He kept playing and trying to pull me back in, but I didn't fall for it.then tonight he texted and wanted me back. I said no and we both need to move on in life.

that's when he started talking about ending life. And how no one would miss him.

I kept him texting while I called 911. They finally found him and he calmed down. So they judged him not to be ta threat and left.

he kept texting me and seemed to be calmer, but I have to admit. He has me really scared. I feel sorry for him, but also fear being around him now. He really went off earlier and had I been in the same room I would have been scared he would try murder suicide or something.

I never judged him as the type to do this, but the cops tell me the did this right before we met. At Thanksgiving. I don't know if he really meant it or if it was just a ploy to get me back.

I know he has a problem. I suggested professional help back when we were together because he was depressed. But even then I never judged him suicidal. Now I find he threatened it before.

I totally misread this guy.

what do I do?

keep being in his life to try to help him? Or step away?

he seems OK tonight now. But what happens the next time things don't go his way?

star709 · Accepted Answer

both my ideas, are little contact with him, because of his state.

He needs help before it is too late. those are just warrning signs right now.

that is very hard to heard, hope he does gets better. and you can get through this. this is a diffcult situation to side on.ill just say both.

1. intervation- I'm guessing you still care about him in a way even though he treated that way.

im saying no contact with him, until you can find someone to set it up

i agree, he is too dangerous to be around. I personally would only see him when that is set up. be there to make him reliaze what he is doing to himself and others. you being there would probably open his eyes. I'm pretty sure others know about his behavior anyway.

2.Step away- you have the risk of him killing himself-\ he could relizae you are not coming back and move on.***BUUTT ( seems like a a common plan for pple to say if they feel lonely- suscide.)

it could be also be using that to tie you down and so you will never leave him if you stay --- >that seems like what he is doing.

Just an opinion.

i agree with him, tell someone! to make sure, how long this has been going on.

Lyndsay8444 · Accepted Answer

You should probably tell someone, but usually people who go around telling others they are going to kill themselves are not going to. Because that would prevent them from succeeding... if they REALLY want to go through with it and succeed they wouldn't be telling people who could potentially stop them. My friend in high school committed suicide and didn't tell a soul. He just went to school like normal, went home after lunch and shot himself. I attempted suicide at 13 and I just did it I didn't tell anyone, either. People who are threatening suicide to control you are usually just ridiculously manipulative or seeking attention. To be safe, though (cause you should never take suicide threats lightly, obviously) I would let someone know. And definitely stay far away from this guy. Don't let him mess with your head anymore.

Tank137 · Accepted Answer

If you don't want a relationship, don't feel obligated to get back together with him or continue a friendly relationship with him if you don't want. Assuming he's an adult, you're not responsible for his well-being. It's his choice to seek help for his emotions/thoughts/impulses. If you've notified the police or anyone else who can helped him, and if he's denied the help, there is not much you can do but let it run its course. A lot of times, it's a person's way of making you comply or feel obligated to stay in their life/give them attention. In the case that this might not be, make sure he knows there are other options, that help is available, and that he needs to seek it. That's all you can do.

Giogiogio2011 · Accepted Answer

Dont Listin to these people PLEASE.

If you ex is honestly feeling this way then ditching him completely will NOT HELP. it will make it worse. Your ex is in a bad place in his life right now. He feels trapped and alone. He has a strong connection to you and feeling how he does shows you that your rejection makes him feel worthless.He could feel guilty for what he did to you, regret and shame. all this he prob bottled up to the point that he doesn't know what to do.

So talk to him calmly, be understanding and be their as a friend til it sinks in that its over between you two. Him being emotionly overloaded needs to be released slowly. Don't think of him as a freak, don't call him names or spread rumors.

eldamien · Accepted Answer

Listen to what everyone is saying and WALK AWAY. None of this is your responsibility. All that's going to happen is you're going to get sucked further and further into his nightmare.

No Contact, No Contact, No Contact. That's the only way to get out of this situation with your emotional well being intact. Be selfish for once. Granted he has kids, but they aren't your kids, as harsh as that sounds. You need to cut the cord, get him out of your life, and walk away before something more serious happens. People that use suicide as a means to get attention are usually emotionally unstable. You aren't married, so walk away now before you get more tangled up in his life.

toosexualcat · Answer

Can I tell you something? People who talk sh about suicide rarely do it. They're talking so you help them.

People who are suicidal never say a word. Trust me. I was about to end it, never told a soul but was saved by luck... My neighbour just hung himself. He never said a word either. They didn't find him for like 3 days.

So again I say, people who will suicide won't say a word when they're determined to do it.

I had a stalker boyfriend who wouldn't leave and when I threatened break up he did the same thing, said he'd kill himself. I go so sick of his sh I said here's the directions to our bridge, have fun!

I hated being manipulated like this! Incidentally the man's still around, alive, still a loser.

outdoorchick · Answer

I had this same situation. My ex got mad that I left the house and he called me very upset and  saying that he was going to kill himself.  I told him that I was going to call the cops and when he realized that the manipulation that he was trying to pull on me wasn't going to work he said that he'd promise not to kill himself.  I didn't call the cops and he's still alive.  You need to stand up for yourself.  If he's going to do this you don't want him around. He will bring you down.  And honestly, you can't take responsibility for his actions.  I know it's tough especially with ones you love but it's not your responsibility.  Once I realized that it saved me a lot of stress.  If you really are scared that something is going to happen tell the police and maybe they can get him court ordered to see a counselor or something, which he seems like he needs. I'll be praying for you and this situation. I know it's a tough situation. Stay strong.

Anonymous · Answer

what a way to get your attention and see if you still care.. my ex did that to me I was so scared crying freaking out. he shut his pohone off it was off for 2 days all I could do was picture him dead somewhere all alone. I called his best friend he start searching out of the blue my ex pops up like nothing ever happened his friend asked him what was up and the next day I got threatend with my life for being worried..

he is a pshyco and has major problems GET AWAY NOW before its too late and he goes crazy on you change you number disapear for a while let him meet someone new and let him be her problem..

he is not going to kill his self he just want attention from you its a trap to get you back in

Anonymous · Answer

I had this problem, please listen to me... you have to get out of this guys life. I know it will be hard at first but he will not commit suicide, if he was thinking of it he would not have told you. my ex called me after taking 5 e tablets saying that if I didn't take him back he was going to take the rest and I would find him dead! I found out later that week that he hadn't taken any and he just wanted me to feel guilt. This man will bring you down, trust me! be nice about it but get him out of your life, if you think he'll be out just back away from him for a while. it helped me so much, we don't really see each other as much anymore, I'm seeing a guy who treats me so well now. direct him to go to a councller but try not to get too involved.

good luck :)

WorkInProgress · Answer

Emotional blackmail!... Naughty... Walk away now... You staying with him isn't going to help him, call the police if you think he is really going to do something silly, but this isn't going to ever end in a Disney stylee if you decide to keep with him

akronite · Answer

Yes this guy is not only playing you but he does have problems. Tell him that if he cares about you then to let you go. Have more confidents in your self. He plays this game so he can continue to get what he wants. He has to have more control of his emotions and life before he can share it with someone else. Get out of the drama unless that's what your into. Good luck!

lillianAngie · Answer

You should stay away.. if you know he has a good guy friend, let him know what happened and ask him to stay with him. You shouldn't show anymore interest or care for him otherwise he'll continue to threaten you until you give in.

Misssixty83 · Answer

I think I'd personally back right up. I've always thought people have to be happy on their own and in their own life before they can share it with anyone else. He needs to sort himself out. He is his own responsibility, not yours

Good luck X

astrocrystal · Answer

Don't let guilt drive you. It seems to me that you have no feeling other than concern. Going back for you should be in the context of a friend. Alert someone like his family member, he is really drowning at this point. If you tagged along you would not be happy to see how it end up being. Wish him well and wish him luck, but you can't be his savior.

Anonymous · Answer

You should tell someone close to him about his problem if they don't already know and keep him out of your life. I'm sure you have enough problems in your life without having to worry about someone unstable like that.

Joe814 · Answer

Do some quick research on "Borderline personality disorder" and see if the shoe even begins to fit.

DocClassic · Answer

if he doesn't wanna live, who the hell are you to stop him?

chrisCarlyle · Answer

You need to RUN! WTF.. DO YOU WANT TO DIE? If you know he is not the ONE>.. Get away from this MESS! Let another girl take over this train wreck!~

playa_pan · Answer

Fail boyfriend is fail.

Nickkk · Answer

Its BS. He won't do it. Anyone who uses is as a threat, wont.

oxidizer235 · Answer

tell him that you'll put flowers on his grave...

DirtyDlish · Answer

runnnnnnnnnn!

My ex threatened suicide tonight because I wouldn't take him back. What do I do?

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