My boyfriend is always so damn grumpy...
We've been together for over a year now. A good 70% of the time I talk to him, he's upset about something or something hurts or just something...
Honestly I am an upbeat gal moreso than not. I bring a lot of positive energy to our relationship. He has some solid character traits, ones of a great partner that I have not had in other boyfriends. He makes me want to be a better person. And he is still young enough (27) and has a drive that I believe that he knows the difference between a dream and a goal. When I say negative, he focuses more on the negative aspects of his day vs not. But when we talk he does eventually come out of it.
Reading you guys responses is making me think...would I prefer the flip side of he not talking about the negative at all and feeling like he has to bottle it up?
Most Helpful Girl
Someone who is always grumpy is unhappy in his life...
Now if it bothers you that he is always grumpy, tell him how bad he makes you feel in these cases and tell him how much you love when he's just normal: remind him the few times it happened. And explain to him how it will make everything easier for you if he could durn down being so grumpy.
He should understand.
What Guys Said 4
Every guy you date is going to be wired a little different. This one seems to be negative most of the time. What does he do that you like that other guys don't do? If he is negative 70% of the time, how is he for the other 30%. Are you going to try to tell me that you are positive 100% of the time, because nobody is. Without balance, a relationship will be very one sided...
A relationship has to be balanced.
People don't change, but in their deeper character traits only. This is more a question of being positive when he's around you, which should be quite obvious to him...
I don't know how old he is, but if he hasn't understood that life is not a paradise yet, you might want to tell him that it's like that, and that you like him, but you don't appreciate his permanent rants, that it takes a little bit of efforts in order to stay in a relationship, and that being a little bit more positive would certainly help you feel better too.
Then see how much it is important for you. The problem with feelings is that they make you accept things from a bf/gf, that you wouldn't accept from an acquaintance or a friend. Then time passes, feelings always fade a little, and this is the kind of behavior al details that change from unnoticed/tolerated to unforgivable.
He's 70% a downer. Those are horrible stats. Deny as much as you want. You're wasting the last embers of your youth.
Yuck. You don't need to be with an energy sapper. Dump the guy. Seriously. Life is too short. Notice how fast time started going by once you reached 30? It just goes faster as you get older. Don't spend your precious time on this planet trying to soothe the disthymics.
What Girls Said 2
Problems are problems mentioning deal breakers is a serious statement. Don't settle and give it ample thought. I'm serous. my relationship was riddled with red flags but I married him anyway. DON'T SETTLE AND LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!.
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