My girlfriend likes another guy!

Question

so lately my girlfriend has been hanging around and talking with this other guy. It seemed weird the entire time for me and I suspected she liked him and he liked her for a while. On friday my friend came up to me and told me that my girlfriend liked the other guy. I was completely crushed and I basically walked around for an hour crying and really pissed about things but not at her for some reason. I waited for her after class and I asked her about it trying to hold back breaking down in front of her and she denied she liked him and asked me who told me. She started to walk away and I walked with her and she swore at me in front of a lot of people and stormed off. I went with her friend to look for her and she called me from the bathroom. I went to the bathroom with her friend and told her friend to go in for me. My friend went in and as she was opening the door I saw my other friend was inside talking to my gf. My girlfriend came out crying and buried her head in my chest crying saying she was sorry and admitted she liked her friend. She expected me to break up with her and so do all my friends but amazingly enough when I told her I loved her I meant it and I want to work through this.

However she doesn't know what she could do, her best friend thinks she needs to stop hanging out with him and I feel the same.

What do you think she has to do?

lost-angel · Accepted Answer

If I were in your position, I would walk away from her.

But I know that's not the advice you're looking for so --

Just like what everyone else said, she has to avoid this guy. But it has to be HER decision, not yours. She knows that avoiding him is the only way you and her can work it out. If she acts dumb about it, and insists on hanging out with him still, then obviously she wants to like him, and is not willing to stop, or she can't control herself, meaning, she will eventually cheat on you.

If she decides to avoid him, then that is a good first step on working this out. The next thing you two need to do is talk about your relationship. Ask her why she likes him. And ask if there is something lacking in the relationship. You both have to be very honest with each other, to find what started all this. Once you figure out the problem then the both of you could fix it.

The reason why people find interest in others is because they have/give something that their boyfriend/girlfriend doesnt. Or they both share the same interests in something.

Bottom line is, if the BOTH of you are really willing to work on this, then it will definitely work. It might take a while but it will work.

jaejy · Accepted Answer

she expected you to break up with her?! sounds like she wanted you to so she can go with the other guy since you've already found it. I'd break up with her. I mean, if you already attempted to try and make the relationship work and she won't let go of the other guy, then your relationship don't mean anything to her! I went through something like this, but it had to do with an ex. finally they stopped meeting each other and talking to each other because I ask for him not to. its made me very insecure now but I mean the relationship is nothing if she likes him and spends a lot of time with him and not you. don't let her walk all over you and make yourself look like an idiot, I went through that and looking back, I wish I would've walked away. yes, you love her, but wouldn't you rather someone that'll love you and only you and you can be with her without having another guy she hangs around with WHILE you are there too? I'd feel awkward just knowing that they like each other and being around them both but really YOU are the one she's suppose to LOOK like she's dating.

Stacygrecko · Accepted Answer

I know this must be very hard for you because you do love her, however, I believe you have to love yourself more than her. If you stay with her, there is no doubt she will cheat on you with him. That will be WAY more hurtful than leaving her now. You seem like such a great boyfriend and you don't deserve that treatment.

Do you think she's going to magically stop liking the other guy? No, she'll always have feelings for him whether she sees him or not, and to be with someone who has feelings for another is pointless. You're not being fair to yourself. The best solution to this is to break up with her because the two of you need time. That way, she'll finally realize that you're the better guy for her and she'll come back to you wanting you more than ever...

the-love-guru · Accepted Answer

If she likes someone else, it's already a beginning of the end. Slowly the relationship will unravel, and it will get ugly. Let her go, and find a girl that is 100% into you. The fact that she made a fool of both you and herself in a public place, is a sign that she isn't ready for a adult relationship.

Love hurts, but you should never have to share your girlfriends affections with another man... unless it's her little brother or puppy. You deserve better than that. You'll find another girl to love, and who loves you back. :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Dump her. She's trouble. I know you don't want too. I know that you won't. But I think you should demonstrate a little self-respect and see how she responds.

I know it sounds weird, but a girl has to know that you will draw a line and that you are man enough to hold her to it. Fact is she's been disrespectful, your tolerance of her disrespect will be perceived as a sign of weakness, and her attraction to you will decrease. Woman who think they can have their cake and eat it too aren't worth the trouble. But her feelings for you may change once you demonstrate that there are limits to the bullshit you will deal with. If she wants your love she should have to earn it. If she wants to keep you she will have to abandon her dis-respectful behavior... and if she doesn't want to keep you then you are smart to let her go. There is no point in being with someone that isn't happy.

Any way you slice it, it sounds like she's getting ready to jump ship anyways, I'd beat her to the punch if I were you.

dicklips · Accepted Answer

If she love syou then yes, quite simple, break off contact with the offending party. If she doesn't you need to find a more mature girl. I hate to say it but most girls can't commit at a young age. Same as most guys. They are all full of hormones raging and can't control their urges. When she got on the defensive right away that was your first clue/sign. Or when she asked who told you, again a guilty response.

I'd say wait until you're in your mid twenties and find a mature girl nin her early 20's. Again she may not be settled down at that age even.

Romanticguy1988 · Accepted Answer

Girl that shares feelings to another guy.

Hard as it is . . Walk away . . Huge odds that you will get hurt even more if this won't stop.

But that's only what I would do. . . For me one of the most sacred things in relationship would probably be loyalty.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Well, I'm poly, so I would just tell her to go for it and support her interest in this other person. I think the fact that you didn't break up with her immediately shows maturity on your part and that you actually care about her, love her, and care about her happiness and are understanding that she has an attraction for someone else. The fact that she came out to you, vulnerable, cried and hugged you and apologized shows me that she also loves and cares for you in return.

I understand poly isn't for everyone, so this might be advice you don't take, but maybe it could be of use to you, or some other user reading through the various answers. I would say have a conversation about polyamory and do some research. Ask your girlfriend if she wants to have an open relationship, and consider if you want to have an open relationship as well. Would you like to have more than one girlfriend? There are a lot of things to consider, such as women have a lot easier time finding interested guys, but also if your girlfriend is supportive, she could be better than the best wingman, as women are very good at getting other women for their man if they try. Pretty much all she has to do is talk about how awesome you are, and her friends will be more interested. With her "blessing", they feel excited to try something new, even better if your girlfriend is bi.

I am in an open relationship and my girl told me about someone at work interested in her. I said go for it babe and she went on a couple dates and hooked up. But turns out the coworker got too attached and she had to draw a boundary so it didn't work out and our relationship is stronger than ever. A couple weeks ago I went to my sister's birthday party and this cute yoga instructor was there. I ended up walking her home and making out with her. I told my girlfriend about it, it was fun; maybe I'll see the yoga girl again, maybe not, but the point is my girlfriend was supportive and accepting. We both had some fun and it didn't ruin/end our relationship, it's made us closer together, more intimate, we trust each other and don't feel weird or awkward telling each other if we get the hots for someone else or even want to hook up. I'm really happy and so is my girlfriend.

So there's an outside the box option for you. If you want to stay in a monogamous relationship, then you two will need to have a conversation for strategies to stay that way, as this will probably not be the last time one of you catches feelings for someone else if you are together for any significant period of time. .

m33ladEmjay · Answer

You're too feminine the whole time she was with you, she was hunting. Of course is women's nature. No girl wants another guy's version of herself. What kind of a man cries over a girl?

You're weak dude.. Girls would never leave if you're at your highest masculine energy. ANd to me sounds like she was dating you out of not wanting to be alone and nothing more. She's goanna keep chasing until she finds her masculine guy.

She's goanna leave you.. There is no 1 or 2 step you can do to fix this. Im giving you to you straight. I know some guys are goanna attack me for it.

If you want more info? you can go to

milademjay. com

Astheria · Answer

I think she should see who she loves more and stick to that person rather than flirting with both. She shouldn't stop talking to the other guy because that will upset him and sometimes girls just need a boy who they can talk to but they're not afraid of loosing them. Sometimes girls need a bit of time with someone they don't know as much.

She obviously loves you more so you don't need to worry.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

She doesn't "have to" do anything. She shouldn't manipulate herself to try to recreate feelings for you if they have faded. If she does, won't she be thinking about the other guy when she is with you? And won't you be worrying about every other guy who she ever talks to?

If she doesn't want to love you for who you are, walk away from her. Everyone deserves a partner who WANTS the relationship and not one who is trying to make feelings happen.

Anonymous · Answer

I think stick it out and fight for her!

I remember when i was teen-ager i was indifferent to my girlfriend
Eventually she said to me, "i think we should break up". I should have said, no, I'm really into this which i was, but i didn't think men could act like that.
So i said "ok"
The next week she was dating my best friend!
I was devastated
About a year later she started dating another friend of mine
Then another
And another

Oh my god i wanted her but i felt so rejected

Flatmanlewis · Answer

She’s conflicted and, honestly, if she’s willing to develop an interest in him when she’s supposedly with you then I think you should walk. It’s the spawning of a future avalanche of trust issues and insecurities. Time to move on, to me.

Anonymous · Answer

Leave her alone, she obviously likes that guy more. Tell her to go be with that guy, unless you like your girlfriend fooling around with other guys. By not dumping her you are basically telling her it's ok for her to be with other guys. You're now her bitch boy who will just say "ok" no matter what she does. Is that what you want to be?

crystalline0909 · Answer

It doesn't matter what her best friend or you think. As long as she is into the other guy, you should pick your self respect and move forward.

WhitneySnow · Answer

She needs to stop hanging out with him. The temptation to cheat on you even if it’s just a kiss would be too great.

TaurusFemmeFatale · Answer

I think the BOTH of you should date other people. You guys sound young.  Test the waters!

exitseven · Answer

She needs to stop hanging out with him. It is not fair to you.

Anonymous · Answer

i tell you one thing

make her emotional

do watever and try 2 get affair back with her

aftr that take her to lodge'

and then do all things

and then say her

dekh ye teri jagah hain

bas aisa

kar

i did the same

i also loved her

yoitsme · Answer

bro, she needs to forget the other guy, you legitimately love her and for her to keep talking to the other guy would be sooooooooooooooooooo messed up

goldenboybradyjr · Answer

Dump her, boy !!!

MaxUsefull · Answer

dump her

My girlfriend likes another guy!

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