Does anyone think that Confidence and personality is all that matters are overrated?

[jmurk]

I believe confidence and personality are overrated because physical attractiveness and money is still extremely important to women. Its so funny that certain studies have shown that women mature faster than men yeah right. If that was the case all of the nice,shy, unattractive guys wouldn't have to wait until women get old & unattractive to get a date. One of my friends said that he purposely plays girls because he knows that girls only go for his looks and status and he knows that if he didn't have the looks or money, he would be lonely and never get a date like the guys who don't have that going for them.

Sure I've heard the lame stories of how some fat unattractive guy had a great personality and confidence and had the girls all over him YEAH RIGHT I've never seen that ever happen in all of my years . Women claim that men are more shallow I don't think so. The only time I've seen a fat guy with a girl is when the girl was fat too. I've seen skinny girls with fat guys, but its because they've been married for years and he let himself go or he has money . Now I've seen all types of guys with fat girls all of the time regardless of looks money status etc. I also want to debunk the myth of "as long as he keeps trying , the "right" girl will come around... Really? In a life full of no guarantees? Not to be negative, but there's a good chance that will never happen to some guys regardless of if its their own fault or not.

Confidence and personality comes naturally to those who have had good success with having those things.

In my book everyone starts out having confidence but being rejected constantly will kill any confidence a guy has, especially if constant rejection has happened for years. Everyone will be quick to say that he's doing something wrong when it could be he's not getting a date because he's simply unattractive. I had a friend who would chase all of the fat unattractive girls and still couldn't land a date and he was a very fun person to be around and he was confident until he realized years later that having confidence and personality didn't improve his chances . His cousin wasn't really that confident at all but he seemed to land girls with no problems ever. So instead of saying confidence and personality is all that matters, why not include looks and status?

[apadgett86]

Women do mature faster, by almost three years in most studies. Now each situation is unique but its not a coincidence that most marriages tend to have the male being three years older than the women.

Guys are visual more visual than women. Looks matter everyone can agree with that, but men tend to look for physical qualities first as to women it comes second third or even forth depending on the women. That is the statement that you hear that gets misinterpreted by angry, lonely desperate men.

Being confident and having a good social status helps with anything, not just getting the ladies, it says you can take care of yourself and potentially take care of her and a family. Then money comes into play, when you start a family having money helps. That's why having it is attractive.

Lastly the fat ugly guy does marry the hot celebrity, did you not see "Hitch" ha ha jk the last one was for laughs

[AnathemA381]

You seem to have put a lot of thought into what you've written, so I won't even try to prove you wrong.

I'll just add that style and hygiene are more important then looks.

Confidence does come naturally to successful men, a man doesn't have to be very successful in order to be confident.

As for me, I've almost never see an attractive man MARRIED to an hot woman. Except for celebrities, but they don't count.

As for relationships, sure attractive men will date hot women all the time. Why not?

That's where the confidence and personality comes in. Can a woman fall in love with an attractive, successful guy if there's nothing more to him? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Of course women care about looks and status, too. I didn't think that was up for debate. The problem is, you're trying to make it seem like we're more shallow than you. Especially when you say that if a guy didn't have looks and status, he wouldn't be nearly as successful with women. Uh...duh? Just like if a girl wasn't hot, she wouldn't be nearly as successful with men. I totally agree with you, sometimes it's not the lack of personality, it's the lack of attractiveness. If a guy who is a 4 is only going after above average women, he's going to experience a lot of rejection. Women want attraction too. And maybe those guys aren't so "great" after all. If they were really great guys, they'd be going after girls because of personality, and not just trying to land the hot or above average girls. So I blame both parties.

[jmurk]

You must didn't read what I was saying . I've seen plenty of fat unattractive girls with all types of guys but I never seen it the other way around unless the guy has money or he's a husband who's been married for years and just didn't keep himself up. I've never seen a broke unattractive shy, fat, or one with no confidence without a boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

I could show you tons of girls like this. I know one girl in particular who had a beautiful face but was fat for a while, and no guy would give her the time of day. She never had a boyfriend. She started starving herself, lost the weight, and now she's engaged. Men place a ton of emphasis on our appearance.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for the guys that believe their looks don't matter. Women care about looks, style and status. Listening to those PC lies aren't helping you. I have a friend who is cute, but very submissive, overly generous and somewhat of a doormat. She was taught to believe that men value nice girls and that women like her are taken seriously in relationships and respected. But unfortunately she's always getting used by some guy. It is just more PC to tell girls they should be nice and super giving just like it is to tell guys to be confident and funny and they can have the best looking girls.

Look at real life. Who are the hottest girls in your town usually dating? What do you have in common with those guys?

[Anonymous]

Yeah I guess. I think women just need quit fibbing when they say looks don't matter.

[kheserthorpe]

Women do mature faster then men.

They don't marry nice shy guys when they're 30 because they're mature, they marry nice shy guys when they're 30 because they are -settling-.

Men and women are equally shallow. Men care more then women about looks, but women care quite a lot.

Your last paragraph is very true, but its also a big danger for men. A big problem for guys who are on the shyer side is that they often don't hit their peak desirability to women till they are late 20's early 30's. A lot of them are -less- shy at this point, starting to have some career success, and they are more in demand. The problem is that a lot of them still have wrecked confidence from their bad dating experience as teens. Guys who did great with women at 17 keep rolling happily and confidently forward, while guys who got shot down have that lingering insecurity that's hard to get over.

A lot of them need more then confidence but confidence is the main thing they are lacking.

[Alcobia]

I too think confidence is overrated by women. Because guys that are confident and have the looks, personality, status and sexual proneness will have more women around and play with women and be more prone to be unfaithfull. What we have to think is nobody perfect. But women have high standards choosing mates. Highest than men. Its no news that today divorce rate its about 50%.

[blackkid4]

Confidence and personality tend to preclude your status and fashion.

[LegateLanius]

After a certain threshold, money is rather overrated.

[Atlana]

For most girls confidence and style mean more than looks. That's a fact

[Nassau11]

Yup and I found that out the hard way when I was a player. I'd always go up to em swearing I'm not about looks. I'd try to ignore their really cute face, and every time my mouth would drop down hard cuz I can't. My ego sunk tbh, mad as hell. Every time I'd end up looking right into 1 of em keeping a totally straight face. If they were lying, I woulda been able to get through their straight faces, trust me! I never could. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

It's so easy for guys who lack confidence to go around saying it's not that important, rather than accept that it is, and then have to do something about it.

[jmurk]

Its easy for guys who've had success with women claim that confidence is important. It didn't take that long for them to land a girl so their confidence is in check. There's no real guy on earth who will say that they still have a lot of confidence despite not being able to get girls.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah but the difference is .. I was a guy who had no success - then worked on my confidence, then found lots of success... And I can't stand the guys who won't even *try* to do the same.

[jmurk]

Can't admit you lucked up huh? "Confidence" is just like everything else in life, EXPERIENCES VARY... So you can sell that confidence and personality only matters to someone who don't know no better.

[Opinion Owner]

Another loser who won't try...

[jmurk]

Before you go hurling names how in the F do you know that I'm not trying ? You seem like another chump who takes his success with women for granted. You must live in some imaginary world where you believe that things will work 100% all the time every time if you "follow certain steps and try " never once ever thinking that fortune played a role in your success. If you have all the answers and steps to be successful in life why aren't you some big time billionaire?

[Tycho]

It's pretty underrated nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Yeah that's overrated