Why is myth that women love jerks/ bad boys so persistent ?

[masterignacio]

Screenshot of the conversation between good looking bodybuilder Zyzz and some girl who was willing to go out with him despite his horrendous behavior

link

Myth persists because most men do not realize that women go for looks as much as guys and they missattribute success of a "hot douche bag " to his bad behavior instead of his looks..Another related misconception is about being aloof . Aloofness is a result of having lots of options and such a behavior would work only because women is really into you. It's a bit of a misnomer to label guy a bad boy for not commiting to a girl if other women are throwing themselves at him .

Women do not like being mistreated however most of them would rather be with good looking men who treats them poorly then with average Joe who treats them decently ( I am not sayng men are any different ). I just want to illustrate how powerful romantic atttraction is ( and it's triggered by looking at phisically attractive person of the sex you are interested in ..That's obvious ) .In terms of desire to be with other person looks (imo) are more important then all other factors combined .

[lumos]

I feel bad for that girl. Clearly she has some insecurities and wants validation from everything and everyone. Not many would be able to put up with that kind of bullsh*t behavior.

But, like I always reply to these kinds of questions - don't generalize. "most of them would rather be with good looking men who treats them poorly" how do you know that? Do you know every single woman on this planet? Have you done serious research? By adding "not saying men are any different" doesn't make that statement any more valid.

Why this myth is so persistent is because "nice guys" feel so entitled to get a girl just because they're nice. And whenever someone rejects them, they think "oh, she must not want a nice guy like me, that obviously means she likes douche bags instead, hence every guy she goes after is a douche bag even though I don't really know these guys hahaha what a slut etc etc". Guys don't like to take responsibility for their rejections ("maybe there's something wrong with ME and not HER") by blaming it on everybody else but themselves - the girls and the guys these girls go after. They don't want to admit that they're failing at getting a girl, so they hide behind their "nice guy" mask and whine about everyone else being a douche bag and a slut.

It has become a popular excuse. That's why it's so persistent. Not because it's true.

Yes, there are girls who like bad guys, but there's often a reason behind it. They're in their teens, they're going through a phase, they have major insecurity issues, they think they don't deserve someone who treats them right etc. They are in the minority.

[Anonymous]

I think partially it's because good looks are appealing to women. But a lot of average looking guys can be douches and sluts, too. Even ugly ones. They're just usually sleeping with women of their same looks range, rather than hot chicks ... so the guys don't tend to get as upset about it.

Also, because a lot of nice people are actually passive aggressive and angry. They repress anger and do favors for people instead of directly asking for what they want. So you hear a lot of whining from "nice" guys and girls online who are not doing anything direclty to get what they want. Instead they set up unspoken arrangements in their head (If I'm nice to her, I get a blowie. If I cook him dinner, he'll want to be my boyfriend.") and then seethe that things didn't go their way.

Third, that immature guys ONLY seem to rate women by their looks and not by the other factors, even more than young females do. For instance, a cokehead chicks who is strung out, crazy, etc ... will be seen as desirable and the nice guys think "I should be f***ing that hot chick, not that drug dealer she's with. Chicks only want bad boys." Rather than seeing that the chick is clearly as trashy as the dude she's with and that girls have various personalities and you just can't choose the hottest ones and then pick the personality you want to match it.

[masterignacio]

Thank you for underling it. Without a doubt, a guy who dates hot women is always going to be labelled an a**hole by a guy or group of guys who want the woman he's with, regardless. I even caught myself thinking " what a douche " when I saw a guy with a girlfriend who looked like Jessica Alba . What was he doing ? He was fixing his hair in a very arrogant way. :)

[Opinion Owner]

Girls can be the same way. For instance, it's more acceptable to say derogatory things about a naturally thin girl than a chubby one or to suggest that a pretty woman isn't as smart or nice. We're humans ... we have a strong drive to mate with hotties! But I think we can still bond with people who aren't 10's, too.

[mantobee]

girls only want 9s or 10s

[Opinion Owner]

Mantobee ... you're giving all of your power away when you blame others 100% for your problems. Very few people are 9's or 10's, yet many, many people end up in relationships. Do women who are 9s or 10s want 9s or 10s. Yep, for the most part. Does that mean that you can only be happy with one of them. Probably not.

[circlebill]

There's a lot more to it than what you're saying! First, forget all your talk about nice guys "whining" for a minute. It blinds you to ACTUAL reality when you concoct a story and project it onto hypothetical people from your imagination. Years ago, my SISTER got involved with a bad boy-jerk character. I didn't like his cocky bad boy atitude. I'm a large, powerful man who gave up boxing because i didn't like hurting people. I didn't like this cocky bad boy jerk. But my sister MARRIED him and lived in another state. After a short marriage they divorced! I came to find out this jerk BROKE MY SISTER"S ARM ON TWO OCCASIONS WHEN THEY ARGUED. My sister kept this from me because she was afraid I might do something! It turns out, this was a genuine, cocky bad boy jerk who did well with a lot of women. He seemed dangerous and he was. This is what a lot of women are turned on by! Cocky, seems dangerous, doesn't care about others. It's not a myth! It's REAL!

[dalila19]

I agree with you it's not being the bad or the good guy is about being hot in the end of the day, the only reason why people think that is because some hot guys are jerks, but women put up with that because of his looks

[mantobee]

and treat us like inferior garbage , I hate being ugly

[Keyspirits]

But I'm not a jerk...im a good boy xP

[UncleScrooge]

I'm not so sure it has to do with looks. It may, but I have a different idea. I think women are attracted to jerks because they mistake a lot of their poor behavior for desirable traits. For example, If a guy is cocky and arrogant, women see that as "confidence." If a guy is insanely paranoid or jealous, they see that as "caring." If a guy is constantly putting other people down or insulting them, they see it as being "clever" or "funny." If a guy is aggressive or otherwise bullying towards other people, they see it as being "masculine" as opposed to what it really is: insecurity.

The list goes on and on, but I think the last example really sums it up: it's a misunderstanding of what constitutes true masculinity; namely, it mistakes characteristics like insecurity, aggression, and neglectfulness for manliness. A man who doesn't have these characteristics is probably seen as "weak" or "boring." At least, this is the best explanation I can come up with. If any women want to share their thoughts, I'd be interested to hear them.

As others have mentioned, that picture is priceless:D

[AmongTheApples]

For the same reason that all the illogical myths persist—that playing hard to get actually works, that showing or telling a guy you like him will scare him off, that guys only want sex, that women pick a guy for his personality and success and that looks don't really matter to a girl, that you should never kiss on a first date, that you shouldn't be too available, and on and on and on.

The truth is that everybody is unique and every situation is different, so with so many different things vying for a person's attention and so many factors that go into a decision (even factors of which they don't know or can't be consciously away), they turn to and believe in dating cliches—even ones that are contradictory or make absolutely no sense! In other words, people take shortcuts in their thinking, which is supported by psychological research.

[Anonymous]

That screenshot is hilarious! Where did you get that? And the girls on here claiming it is just because the guy is hot are full of it. I see pretty girls with horrible looking ugly guys who treat them like that. Girls just don't like to admit that a lot of them confuse being a jackass with being a dominant and masculine male.

[masterignacio]

I found it on bodybuilding forum. With regard to your second point about ugly men getting away with abusive behavior , well maybe you are wrongly judging attractiveness of those men. If you are not sexually attracted to guys it's very hard to do so. You need to have knowledge of what makes face attractive , eye to spot things like symmetry .etc

[Opinion Owner]

That would be true but in many of those cases I have asked other girls if they found the guy in question handsome and it was always no. Girls can definitely be attracted to guys who are not physically attractive at all for a number of reasons

[Anonymous]

I always found it stupid how women will love a guy no matter how much of an idiot he is to her, but when a nice guy comes around, who isn't just nice to her, but to everyone, she'll literally hate him and never speak to him again just for telling her and showing her that he likes her, in a nice way mind you.

It's so f***ing stupid.

[Anonymous]

Because it's not a myth, it's simple truth. Women are highly attracted to the dark triad, they often like guys who are aloof, and such. That's life. Why try to ignore it? Being too kind to a woman is the best way to get friend zoned. Being a smart alec is a way to charm one.

[masterignacio]

I beg to differ .It is indeed accepted that bad boys have more sexual partners .But it's not because of some alpha male aura but they are more willing to sleep with women they have no longterm interest in . link

You get friend zoned as a result of luck of physical attraction not due to being nice

[Opinion Owner]

Physical attraction, sadly, is quite a bit for men, but women need more. Physical attraction alone doesn't cut it with women, you need to know some game. Before I knew any game, I got friend zoned by a girl that on her own would compliment me, and tell me I was a stud, cute, etc. However, I lacked game and didn't know how to interact with women. So, she friend zoned me.

[circlebill]

You are so right! Many women are very quick to take kindness for weakness! And the minute they see you as "weak", they give you the friend zone status! Teasing , boorish disregard has almost become a dating requirement with a lot of women!

[moonlightromance]

the same reason guys are attracted to sluttly bitches that are "hot". it's simply because they are HOT. if the douche bag was ugly we wouldn't give him the time of day.

[celestialdaeva]

If I had to base how sexually attracted I was to complete strangers, then yeah - looks would be real important. Personality plays a huge part into how attractive I find someone though. It can make a really physically attractive man seem boring or average and can make an average guy seem sexy as hell. If you can learn to create sexual tension, girls will be attracted to you like crazy.

[tomfeltonforever]

It is a myth. Personally, I'd want a nice boy for a boyfriend. But a nice boy that I am also physically attracted to. But if a guy is a jerk, he'd only be a hook-up. Most of the girls I know have the same mindset.

[mantobee]

she means nice model looking guy

[tomfeltonforever]

actually you can hook up with anybody you'd like to and get into relationships when you feel like it... isn't that amazing

[circlebill]

You are in a dream land! Right out of your own statement, "But if a guy is a jerk, he'd only be a hook-up." YOU just validated the "women love jrks" tag yourself! You can't sit there and say you'll have sex with a jerk and then claim the idea of women loving jerks is a myth! You ain't very bright!

[523206720]

I think some woman have emotional wounds and they are attracted to guys who mistreat them. My cousin is like that and so were some other girls that I know. They said they wanted a guy that was "dangerous" "mysterious" and "unpredictable"

[Anonymous]

Good looking doesn't not equal bad boy

and unattractive and bad social skills doesn't equal good guy.

I like confident and attractive good guys, and I think most girls would choose that over a bad boy any day.

[mantobee]

girls only want good looking guys

[Opinion Owner]

Your point being?

Nearly everyone, both girls and ESPECIALLY guys want a good looking partner.

Nothing new there.

[moviedude714]

Because the truth hurts, often times it does and too many people don't want to accept

[MikeK]

LMAO... great conversation... I don't believe it's real, but I liked the guy's stance :P

[masterignacio]

It is real . I can vouch for that.

[MikeK]

Excellent!

[Anonymous]

Probably because you are 18-24... older women like $$$$$$$$ and stable men

[LThunder]

Well no shit. Fuck the bad boys early when you are still attractive, then marry the desperate betas with money. "Stable" = has money, is easy to manipulate.

[pooper89]

Why do guys love crazy bitches. I'd like to know

[LThunder]

We don't have a choice. All women are crazy bitches. :)

[Anonymous]

I've noticed only butthurt beta males say that

[Anonymous]

Why do guys like sluts and crazy girls

[LThunder]

Guys don't really. They like they can get sex from them when they are desperate. They don't respect these girls though.

[Anonymous]

Because they are hot and confident.

[masterignacio]

I think being hot would do , confidence is completely superfluous .If you are shy but look like Johnny Depp women will find tyour shyness endearing. On the other hand if a guy is confident but not so attractive his confidence would be a turn off . So it's no factor imo.