I'm tired of being labeled as something I'm not, such as creepy for example. I don't do anything that I would think could be defined as creepy, such as unwanted touching or comments. I know that I'm awkward in general but I don't think that's enough to justify the label. Why can't women just say that they're not interested? I can take the hint and move on. But instead immediately jump to this case. How can I stop this from happening?
This is how i have felt for years now, and i'm sure tons of other guys in the world feel the same way.
When it comes to being rejected by women, its not rejection that hurts, its the way that it happens that has the biggest effect. I know and am aware, understand, that not every woman will like me, and i know i won't like every woman either. We can't please everyone, that applies to everybody, we can't be friends with everyone obviously.
Its that, and i'm sure tons of guys in the world feel the same way i do, its that, if we make a woman feel uncomfortable, creeped out, it makes us feel very embarrassed, dumb and stupid.
Whats more enraging or infuriating is what when the womans friends or just guys, men, come to the womans defense or rescue her, and get on the mans case for the guy being accused as a creepy.
Its embarassing and even enraging, because even though people never make statements or comments like that, its a reminder that it feels or seems like people, society, expect guys, men, to have common sense for knowing what is creepy behavior and what is not when talking to women, approaching them, making advances on them or pursuing them, etc. They expect us guys, men, to be born with the knowledge and skill, social awareness, of knowing what are creepy behaviors with women and what are not.
But a part of me likes to think, and i'm not sure if i'm correct on this, i like to think that for guys, men, well not for all of them, getting labeled creepy or weird.
I'll say it here: I like to think, that guys, men, have to go through trial and error in order to, make mistakes in order to get better socially when approaching women and pursuing them, so they learn from their mistakes, so they don't get labeled or perceived as creepy, uncomfortable, by a woman ever again.
Reminds me, i read this statement from a guy, man, who is a dating coach for men, he said something that was powerful and moving about this, he said:
"you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette. im sure i creeped out tons of girls over the years."
I assume what he means by that is, he had to creep some girls out in order to get better at approaching or interacting with women, in order to avoid being labeled creepy ever again?
But at the same time, i've heard some people say, that the creepy label can definetley get overused, a lot of women will throw that label at guys and men, just solely because they were never interested in the first place, the guy was not legitimately being creepy or weird, making the woman uncomfortable, she was just never attracted to him in the first place. I also believe some women use that label a lot because it gives them an ego boost or a pride boost, makes them feel like they are an important desired sought after person, i saw an interesting youtube video discussion about it.
I know people will always say don't compare ourselves to others, comparison is the thief of joy, yes i'm aware of those statements, they make me mad and angry at times, but i would say, and i'm sure other guys feel the same way, we are the most jealous of guys and men, who were lucky to never not even once in their entire life, get accused or be labeled weird or creepy when approaching women or making advances on them, pursuing them.
Its like these are one of the few guys in the world who have always been socially smart, very good socially to have the common sense or just social calibration, be socially calibrated for knowing how to not be creepy and never risk making a woman feel uncomfortable.
Yes i know life is unfair, reality and society is unfair, but what is what angers me a lot in regards to men and women having social awkwardness or being socially inept, having poor social calibration.
Women never risk, or just normally don't having their social awkwardness or social ineptness be dismissed or be perceived as weird or creepy when interacting with the other sex but men do unfortunately obviously.
Its like Women can get away with not understanding social boundaries, social cues, but men can't.
Obviously because for all time men are the ones expected to make advances on a woman they like and if the advances they make are awkward or in violation of the person's boundaries they are labeled as creepy or weird or stalkerish.
Obviously women will never have to deal with that because their never expected to make advances on a man they like and let's say if the roles were reversed or flipped around.
Women will never risk getting thrown those negative labels because women won't be perceived as a danger or a threat in a man's eyes but obviously it's not that way the other way around because men are typically on average a little bit bigger and a little bit stronger than women. Because of that, men can easily unfortunately be perceived or viewed as a danger or a threat in a woman's eyes.
Even though people will say to men to don't walk on eggshells when interacting with women but I do believe obviously men need to be more careful on how they interact with women a lot more than the other way around due to what I said above.
So yeah basically men need to be socially smarter than women do or just men need to have much better social skills or have a much higher Social IQ than women do when navigating social situations or social interactions.
But overall, do you think people and society is too harsh towards guys, men, if they are socially inept, awkward with women? People expect men to have common sense socially for interactions between the 2 genders like i have discussed? Do people just expect guys, men, to naturally just understand and get it when it comes to knowing how to not be creepy, how to understand and navigate social boundaries between the 2 sexes?
I saw a long comment like this on the social media platform medium, and that guy got hundreds of upvotes of people agreeing with them.
Because chances are you’re not handsome enough. Women make exceptions for men that are handsome. I guess in the same way men tend to do for hot women. But we don’t call those other women creepy. Basically everything a man a woman doesn’t find attractive is creepy. Most women just throw that term around as well because they hear other women say it. Like the word narcissist. Most of them don’t even know what the exact definition of it is. To them it’s just behavior on a man’s part that they don’t like. A lot of times that behavior is not kissing their ass enough to be qualified as a narcissist in their eyes. Most women have never had to ask men out. So when you’re stuttering or seem at a loss of words when trying to talk to a girl they call you creepy. No, more than likely he’s nervous. Men usually don’t come out as smooth Casanovas, a lot of times we screw it up. To them that’s creepy.
It's rude that they would just say that. You shouldn't pay attention to those kinds of ladies unless you know you did something. If you didn't. Don't even give them your time of day. You know who you are 🫡
I’m only hearing one side of it. However, assuming you’re in the right, just ignore those people.
Opinion
17Opinion
It’s how you carry yourself and see the world, dude. You cannot control how women react…you can ONLY control YOU. Socially awkward isn’t attractive. Sorry, but that’s reality. And to all the guys blaming women on this thread, you don’t have reasons- just butthurt excuses.
I know I’ll get a lot of flak but fact is, I was in your same camp. Socially awkward. I was labeled creepy. I was a school nerd and diehard gamer. Rather than internalize and blame, I said “fuck it” and just went out, tried new things, met people, and learned many new skills. it took a ton of effort and breaking out of my zone. I faced rejection, not once, but countless times - and just kept going.
At some point the socializing came easier, women became friendlier, I felt more fulfilled and happy; and turns out - life didn’t suck as much as I thought it did.
be physically and emotionally aware of your surroundings and adapt yourself in ways to achieve your desired success. You sound like a nerd…. Stephen Hawking said “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change”
Women doing that are just trying to hurt your feelings or tarnish your reputation. "Creepy" is just one of the ways they try to do it.
I mean on this site I get attacked by them usually attacking my dick size or my ability to sleep with women... as if they've never even seen my giant dick or know anything about my 4 digit body count. And that's why it's funny. They don't know and have never even met me. They're just losing the argument and they resort to ad hominem attacks.
That and nowadays... a lot of women are just looking for an opportunity pick on people. They're meaner than they used to be.
It's hard to determine what's precisely making you appear as "creepy" -- perhaps you're looking at people for a prolonged period of time? Or if you linger for longer than needed? `There are a few videos on YouTube that show what "creepy" generally looks like. Perhaps watch those and practice your expressions in the mirror. (That's a good basic starting point.) Also, perhaps ask your friends' opinions.
You can't control what others think or do, it's a sick world and many automatically always think the worst. My daughters are in their mid 20s now, and quit talking to me when they was 21 cuz their boyfriends didn't like that I was a trump supporter but my own mother asked if I molested them when the was little and was that why they quit talking to me. They also disowned my mom to,
You can’t. Women have some need to appear magnanimous even when they’re not. Contriving some excuse about you being “creepy” or whatever absolves them of looking like a jerk for rejecting a perfectly nice guy because of looks or whatever the real reason is. Until women can be honest, undesirable men will always be characterized as subhuman in some way.
For obvious reasons, women can get creeped out even by guys who aren't creepy. Taking you at your word that you aren't creepy, maybe you need to smile and laugh more to put a woman at ease.(I'm socially awkward, especially with women, but am NOT considered creepy, probably because I'm regarded handsome and boyish.)
It's creepy if you are asking for a date before she has shown any interest. Don't do that. If you can't figure this out, get counseling to learn how to start a conversation.
just ignore them, they feel you are like that so say how they feel so ignore them.
if you are insecure or awkward or even just don't seem genuine to others cause you're trying to be someone that you really aren't, that can come off as creepy.
orrrrrrrr... weirdly enough, you ARE creepy to them.
You're not hot, rich or both. Women are just allergic to honesty and thus, won't admit that. Those same women considered Ted Bundy attractive however, and willingly got into his car. Over and over and over and over. No questions asked.👍
Sometimes people mistake socially awkward for creepy
Oh come on, its simple.
Hey, I just read your long post; and I personally think that everyone gets labelled creepy and has to learn from trial and error. I know I have had to.
You only considered creepy if she doesn't find you attractive.
Everyone who is not Italian is scary. Being Italian is an honor. 🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹
If you approach girl out of you league they will label you as creep, it’s sad the world se live in
Ignore them bro. You know who you are gango
What is and isn't creepy is subjective
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