Shy/reserved guys: how do you show interest?

[Anonymous]

I can understand guys who are confident and all that- they make their interest obvious.

But what about guys that are shy and reserved? How do you show interest/ signal that you at least want a girl to approach you if you don't do it yourself?

I really like this guy who is a little reserved and he doesn't approach me or initiate conversation or any of that. What are some ways I can tell if he is interested or not?

I'm willing to initiate something if needed (I probably will have to) but I would just like to know how I can tell if he's interested at all.

[Anonymous]

I'm an uber shy guy and most of what has been written here rings true; but I do tend to stare a the girl when she isn't looking, but if she looks my way then I don't turn my head from her gaze because I hold it. I don't know why, but I can't help it. Also when I'm walking somewhere and I see her standing then I have no reservation at staring at her as I'm passing her by. Mind you, I'm not capable of smiling at the girl I like so if she thinks I'm unattractive then she probably thinks I'm a total creep.

Also if I'm talking to my friends or whomever, then I probably fluster my words a little and my friends see me staring in one direction (to where the girl is, of course). This actually happened to me, as I was in my college an older lady came up to me and asked me where a specific class room was and as we were speaking my massive crush came walking, along with her friend, and I think I must have flustered my words a little but I tried to be really coy and not let the older lady know what’s going on (I didn’t know her and didn’t want her to potentially embarrass me by saying something like “Oh, have you gone silent and staring at this girl because you like her?”) so I ended up saying that I would simply walk with her to the class room as it wouldn’t be a problem for me. If I recall correctly I stared for a few seconds at her while she passed me by, even though she was in close proximity to me, simply because I did not expect to see her; but the stare only lasted a very few seconds.

I’ll ignore the girl when she is in close proximity to me; simply because I’m nervous as h*ll and I will do my absolute best to not give her eye contact, as I wouldn’t want her to freak out or anything like that. That has also happened with my massive crush; she came into the college cafeteria while I was pouring myself some coffee and the cafeteria isn’t big (sadly); so I tried to absolutely not stare at her but tried to spot her from time to time with my peripheral vision. My palms started to become sweaty and my heart started to beat faster; it was a weird new feeling for me. And if only she had not shown me mixed signals then I would have approached her (yes, even me – the incredibly shy guy, has approached four girls in my college; but that was simply because they were totally relentless and persistent in letting me know of their interest)

And if my friends were to ask me who I liked I would tell them; unfortunately I don’t have any close friends in my college and thus I wouldn’t divulge that information.

Luckily I have been studying upon body language and know what to look for; which is why those four girls were approached by me; one of whom lit up like a Christmas tree, which was awesome to see and all of them smiled really brightly which was also very pleasant to experience. I’ve also held eye contact with them when I talked to them; I think I would be able to also hold eye contact with my massive crush …so I can’t really pinpoint why some shy guys tend to..

[Opinion Owner]

stare at the floor when they are speaking to their crush but I very much assume it?s because of nervousness.

And absolutely agree that the eye contact is us shy guys way to telling you that we like you. My personal observation has been that all too many girls question the meaning

[Asker]

Do you mean eye contact in terms of a guy staring when I'm not looking at him? Or do you mean holding eye contact in a conversation?

This guy does stare at me when I'm not looking at him but when I catch him he looks away pretty quickly. I don't catch him doing that a lot but I have caught him doing that a few times and I've seen him stare at me while I'm talking to my friends.

But if we are talking he's not great with eye contact. He's gotten better but doesn't seem to be able to look me

[Asker]

In the eyes for very long. He looks away a lot when we are talking. I can tell he is looki at me when I'm not looking at him but the second I look back at him he looks away again. It's not like we don't have any eye contact at all in conversation, it's just that it's pretty brief and I get a sense eye contact makes him a little uncomfortable.

He can never look me in the eye and smile at the same time. He will smile but look off to the side or down but just not AT me. I don't know :/

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I can't speak for all shy guys; but it could very well be that he's incredibly nervous when he talks to you and thus he can't hold eye contact.

I wish though more shy guys would answer

[DanteSparda]

Pretty much the same way shy girls show signs of liking someone.

Shy guys ONLY show signs through body language because he's too shy to talk to her otherwise.

(1) Stare at the girl whenever he thinks she's not looking his way and when she catches him looking, he quickly turn his head and look straight forward and act as though nothing had happen.

(2) When he's talking with his friends and his crush walks by he will suddenly become quiet and not even finish what he was talking about just so he doesn't accidentally make a fool of himself by saying something inappropriate in front of his crush.

(3) I know this may sound weird and doesn't make much sense but shy guys will ignore the girl they like, sometimes to the point when it seems like they have no interest in her at all. By doing this, it will ensure the guys and put his mind at ease that if his crush truly likes him she will show him enough signs for him to make a decision to make a move or not. If she doesn't show him any signs or enough signs then he will automatically assume that she is not interested, hence his showing of non-interest in her in the first place will be as though nothing had ever happen. The guy's ego and pride will not have been hurt. It's really a defense mechanism that shy people have develop.

(4) A guy's crush on a girl will not totally be without any trace. His attraction to you will be too great to hold inside that it will inevitably leak out of him in the least unexpected ways. He will tell his friends, his siblings or anyone close to him who he can trust and have a good honest talk with. Sometimes the best medicine for having something held inside you for too long is to just let it all out. He will speak his mind, but just not to you. Go ask his friends if he likes you and hopefully if they're not jerks, they will tell you.

(5) Believe it or not, when a guy really likes a girl and he thinks she is a shy girl, he will go online searching for "how to know if a shy girl likes you" and read almost every site that may have the solution. Hey, he want to do his research so he doesn't make a fool of himself, although this isn't much of a sign because the girl will have never known.

These are the sure signs that shy guys will show to a girl they like but out of all of these signs the most prominent is the eye contact. If you catch him staring at you whenever you happen to look his way is a sure sign that he is into you. This is a dead giveaway really. Look for his eyes staring at you. He is subconsciously telling you that he is interested in getting to know you better :)

[Asker]

Not sure if he's done 4 and 5, but 1,2, and 3 are spot on! He does have really open body language when we talk which is good too, but if I don't talk to him he acts like he doesn't even notice me :/

[Asker]

I've caught him looking over but he usually looks away really quickly. Once he stared at me with a very zoned out expression. The confusing thing is when we talk he won't look me in the eyes but looks at me when I'm not looking at him. The minute I look back at him he shifts his eyes away :/ he does smile and laugh when I do though so I don't think he DISlikes me

[DanteSparda]

According to me, those are the signs that he likes you..

just ask him for a coffee or a casual movie with you.I'm sure by doing that,he'll open up to you slowly :)

[Asker]

Really? Should I be worried that he is only this way with me? He isn't social exactly but he's not shy with other people. He will approach his friends and smile and make eye contact and hug them and stuff.

Could he just be avoiding eye contact with me because he knows I like him and he doesn't want to talk to me/ he doesn't want to give me the wrong idea?

I'm just skeptical to believe you because I haven talked to him in so long.. He doesn't approach me and isn't around me like he used to

[DanteSparda]

I know because I'm just like him and That's why I'm telling you to ask him out :)

but first ,you have to bring your conversations back to the normal as they were before.

[Asker]

Hmm so you think I should just approach him a couple times and talk normally then ask him out? The only problem with that is I see him so rarely now, not sure why. When I see him I've basically run into him unexpectedly. I have had a bunch of short convos with him before.. I just feel like if I wait to have a couple normal convos it literally won't go anywhere. Another problem is that he's leaving in less than 3 months :/

[Asker]

I was thinking next time I saw him I would talk to him and If the convo goes well ask him out casually? I would only ask him out if the convo is relatively normal. I could ask him on the pretense of not having seen him in a while? What do you think?

I appreciate your advice!

[DanteSparda]

Yeah well ,That's a great idea actually and I was going to write the same you wrote in the comment :)

[Asker]

Thank you! I'm going to ask and hopefully he says yes :)

[DanteSparda]

well good luck then :)

B.A. ?

[Asker]

Of course! Thanks :)

[DanteSparda]

yw :)

[confugirl]

Shy guys just don't show interest. Whatever a normal guy does, they will do the opposite. He will avoid your gaze no matter what. But he will always try to look at you when he thinks you can't see him. In general, he will try to sit somewhere far behind you, so he can stare but you can't see him staring. If and when you spot him, he will almost jerk his head away so you don't catch him. He will never or rarely start talking to you, but if you strike up a conversation for him, he will stutter, blush etc. Some shy guys do try to talk to you, but they just appear and disappear at the most random times. You do not see him coming and it can get pretty awkward.

[rocksongwriter]

Have you talked with him at all?

[Asker]

I have a couple times, any ideas for what I should look for?

[rocksongwriter]

Ask him out on a date. Look for a "yes" answer.