Why do guys become players?

Why do guys become players? i have wanted to know this question for long time and if any man could help me to understand what it all about.

What are guys looking for, love, sense of humor, looks or what is it really about?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Women are hands down better players than men. At a very young age on playgrounds young boys are playing sports and enjoying outdoors and girls are talking to each other (about the world and developing better communication skills) and playing with dolls (understanding social relationships). Men trained to be the pursuers which is often more of a disadvantage.

    Why do men become players? The list could be endless. Sex, ego, wanting the best for oneself and not setting, curiosity of what's really out there, wanting to be attractive, women who like players, (often women want the man all the other girls are after), not wanting be powerless (doormat or "too nice") in the relationship, genuine self improvement, getting burned by female players, not wanting the weight of a relationship at that time, tired of a controlling woman, not good at relationships, etc.

    Almost all of these are the same reasons a woman might become a player.

    to me there is a difference between a "player" and a "liar". From what I have seen some women use jealousy and manipulation far more than men do, so I am curious if a man (or woman) is totally honest why fear the player?


What Experts Said

  • 1|0

What Guys Said 10

  • I don't want to sound mean but girls let them. They can't be players if there is no girls to play. That's what I think which doesn't mean its right lol.

    • Thanks for answering the question and you were honest with how you felt so thank you. No right or wrong answer its how you feel or see things.

  • I completely agree with jon73010. I have been hurt by two girls. The first was a relationship that lasted 6. 5 years and then burned. The second girl I dated for 4 months then she wanted to get exclusive. I agreed and try to have a relationship while she decided she had commitment issues, burned again.

    Now I face a tough decision as to whether or not to put up a wall. Do I want to get hurt again? I feel like I'm always the nice guy and getting hurt. So should I continue to risk opening up to these girls just to be burned again? How and when will I know a girl is serious? Maybe now that I'm afraid to get wounded I will run from commitment.

    Now what comes along with the fear of commitment? The fear of finding the right person. How do I know I found her? I thought the first girl was the one. Wrong. I thought the second girl could have been the one. Wrong again. So how do I know?

    There is only one thing I can do now. I will date different girls and see which one is the right one for me. I will let the girls know that I am only dating at the moment. That means if I meet a girl I think I might be attracted to I will ask for her number. Yes, I am dating other girls, but I am dating. I am not playing. It is there choice to stay in the situation or not. If a girl leaves and I think she was worth keeping I may have to make a tough choice.

    Now I choose to tell the girls I am only dating. Other guys may choose not to say that.

    Great question I hope I was able to help. Send me a message if you want to discuss this further. :)

    • I thought your answer was great so thanks for sharing I tried to rate higher and got stuck and would not let me go any higher.

    • Yep totally agree. I remember tlkin to a guy who had been a "nice guy" and then consciously decided to be a "player"...he had got burned and couldn't get girls before whereas now he can etc. this is prob only reason a nice guy would suddenly change id say.

  • Depends on the guy.

    For some guys its how they grew up (family situations can be rough for some people).

    For others (if its a change in personality).

    Heart break will do it. Guys can get jaded about serious relationships. Then they start to avoid the same thing again. This kind of thing comes and goes though. Have to say I'm guilty of this one myself.

    Oh girls are def guilty of being players too. Well french girls anyway. A wise friend once told me. "bitches B crazy"

  • hahahah, if you notice at the end of the experts video, he says "this is the best I could do"

    -not something you want to say to your girl, as well as to your man (for you girls)

    it makes you sound like you could have done better, so you settled for less than the best possible

  • because women enable it. simple as that. you all like those guys.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Guys become players for the same reason that women do. It makes them feel wanted and they don't get bored with one person. I don't condone it but I understand it. Players and playettes aren't at the settling down stage and won't be until they meet that one person worth changing their ways for. I think it's just a way of finding what they want.

  • my guess is that the player type behaviour results from a lack of reciprocated love and a desire for commitment. if I'm not with the one I am in love with, who cares who I'm with now. every guy that comes is just filling an emptiness, taking up time that I would otherwise spend sulking alone, and perhaps it's an affirmation that maybe in that vast sea of men, I'll find someone I love.

  • because they think it makes them look good when it really makes them look nasty

  • It makes them feel more powerful. Most guys by nature want to feel powerful or have that need to be the best, and so when they see girls they just want to show the best that they are. Though I'm not a man I would say this is my best answer.

  • Guys are players because girls give them whatever they want whenever they want it so guys feel the need to take advantage and walk all over them because in the end they know that girl is gonna come back because the girl likes the chase come on lets face it no girl wats a guy that they know they can have cause then life would jus be too easy..most guys can see thta in a girl very quick and if they can tell right off the bat that the girl is jus trying to hubby them up then they don't stay long they look for what's quick and easy trust me..

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