Why do guys become players?

Why do guys become players? i have wanted to know this question for long time and if any man could help me to understand what it all about.

What are guys looking for, love, sense of humor, looks or what is it really about?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Women are hands down better players than men. At a very young age on playgrounds young boys are playing sports and enjoying outdoors and girls are talking to each other (about the world and developing better communication skills) and playing with dolls (understanding social relationships). Men trained to be the pursuers which is often more of a disadvantage.

    Why do men become players? The list could be endless. Sex, ego, wanting the best for oneself and not setting, curiosity of what's really out there, wanting to be attractive, women who like players, (often women want the man all the other girls are after), not wanting be powerless (doormat or "too nice") in the relationship, genuine self improvement, getting burned by female players, not wanting the weight of a relationship at that time, tired of a controlling woman, not good at relationships, etc.

    Almost all of these are the same reasons a woman might become a player.

    to me there is a difference between a "player" and a "liar". From what I have seen some women use jealousy and manipulation far more than men do, so I am curious if a man (or woman) is totally honest why fear the player?


What Experts Said

  • 1|0

What Guys Said 10

  • I don't want to sound mean but girls let them. They can't be players if there is no girls to play. That's what I think which doesn't mean its right lol.

    • Thanks for answering the question and you were honest with how you felt so thank you. No right or wrong answer its how you feel or see things.

  • I completely agree with jon73010. I have been hurt by two girls. The first was a relationship that lasted 6. 5 years and then burned. The second girl I dated for 4 months then she wanted to get exclusive. I agreed and try to have a relationship while she decided she had commitment issues, burned again.

    Now I face a tough decision as to whether or not to put up a wall. Do I want to get hurt again? I feel like I'm always the nice guy and getting hurt. So should I continue to risk opening up to these girls just to be burned again? How and when will I know a girl is serious? Maybe now that I'm afraid to get wounded I will run from commitment.

    Now what comes along with the fear of commitment? The fear of finding the right person. How do I know I found her? I thought the first girl was the one. Wrong. I thought the second girl could have been the one. Wrong again. So how do I know?

    There is only one thing I can do now. I will date different girls and see which one is the right one for me. I will let the girls know that I am only dating at the moment. That means if I meet a girl I think I might be attracted to I will ask for her number. Yes, I am dating other girls, but I am dating. I am not playing. It is there choice to stay in the situation or not. If a girl leaves and I think she was worth keeping I may have to make a tough choice.

    Now I choose to tell the girls I am only dating. Other guys may choose not to say that.

    Great question I hope I was able to help. Send me a message if you want to discuss this further. :)

    • I thought your answer was great so thanks for sharing I tried to rate higher and got stuck and would not let me go any higher.

    • Yep totally agree. I remember tlkin to a guy who had been a "nice guy" and then consciously decided to be a "player"...he had got burned and couldn't get girls before whereas now he can etc. this is prob only reason a nice guy would suddenly change id say.

  • Depends on the guy.

    For some guys its how they grew up (family situations can be rough for some people).

    For others (if its a change in personality).

    Heart break will do it. Guys can get jaded about serious relationships. Then they start to avoid the same thing again. This kind of thing comes and goes though. Have to say I'm guilty of this one myself.

    Oh girls are def guilty of being players too. Well french girls anyway. A wise friend once told me. "bitches B crazy"

  • hahahah, if you notice at the end of the experts video, he says "this is the best I could do"

    -not something you want to say to your girl, as well as to your man (for you girls)

    it makes you sound like you could have done better, so you settled for less than the best possible

  • because women enable it. simple as that. you all like those guys.

  • I used to be a real nice genuine guy. However I kept getting burnt by women .

    So I learned how to attract them, and win them over. I always fear commitment cause I don't want to be burnt again. The thrill of the chase brings me back every time looking for more.

  • Well most men want to become players because its a natural thing. Its apart of the instinct. By "nature" means that other species have muiltly partners a. K. A players. That's and the fact most men love to out do each other in everything has something to do with it. In our head we see have more girls than another man we are naturally better than them. Hope this helped

  • I did because the love of my life left me and refused to come back, I hurt for a while and then when she got with another dude I said f*** it and just went after sex, don't trust girls anymore, no more heart aches for me!1

  • Guys become players for a number of reasons. Some men just want to sleep with a new woman every night - and some girls go out purposely looking to get laid. Not many, but some do.

    Anyways, some guys become players simply because they flirt with a lot of girls and get a lot of phone numbers almost naturally. Its like a beautiful girl, they get hit on constantly by guys and 'players' often get a lot of girls who are very interested in them. The thing is not all guys are the same - some of them want a harem of women and others just want one girl.

    One club manager in NY had seven girlfriends, one for each day of the week, he even referred to them as monday, tuesday, etc. Is this wrong? I suppose it depends on who is answering, to some people it is, to some it isn't.

    Most women have very negative feelings towards guys being with more than one girl and most guys usually just stick with one gal. But some people find it too tempting and not all that difficult to have more than one girlfriend at the same time.

    It just comes down to that some guys love to flirt and for some guys - the enjoyment is in picking up women and not in the relationship itself. This is one of the reasons why they go for multiple girls. They love getting the girl, they love winning her but once they have her, then what do they do? Some guys just love picking up chicks, its a challenge and a game for them.

    Some guys just are not very good at relationships but great at getting girls, thus they naturally fit into the category of a player.

    There are women who do the same thing and see how long they go without buying a single drink. Its not just a one way street you know.

    • I liked your answer it was great as well as some of the others and tried to rate higher on yours got stuck and gave you rather low score so sorry about that. That was A+ answer in my book so thanks for posting. take care

What Girls Said 7

  • Guys become players for the same reason that women do. It makes them feel wanted and they don't get bored with one person. I don't condone it but I understand it. Players and playettes aren't at the settling down stage and won't be until they meet that one person worth changing their ways for. I think it's just a way of finding what they want.

  • my guess is that the player type behaviour results from a lack of reciprocated love and a desire for commitment. if I'm not with the one I am in love with, who cares who I'm with now. every guy that comes is just filling an emptiness, taking up time that I would otherwise spend sulking alone, and perhaps it's an affirmation that maybe in that vast sea of men, I'll find someone I love.

  • because they think it makes them look good when it really makes them look nasty

  • It makes them feel more powerful. Most guys by nature want to feel powerful or have that need to be the best, and so when they see girls they just want to show the best that they are. Though I'm not a man I would say this is my best answer.

  • Guys are players because girls give them whatever they want whenever they want it so guys feel the need to take advantage and walk all over them because in the end they know that girl is gonna come back because the girl likes the chase come on lets face it no girl wats a guy that they know they can have cause then life would jus be too easy..most guys can see thta in a girl very quick and if they can tell right off the bat that the girl is jus trying to hubby them up then they don't stay long they look for what's quick and easy trust me..

  • Depends on the guy.

    Some are hurt, and don't trust,when men do fall in love,they fall HARD.

    Some see other guys doing it and think it's cool.

    And ,there will always be women who are okay with it.

    I suggest a guy be honest. Don't act like you want a relationship when you don't. Be upfront, honest. But be careful,all you players. You never know when you're going to fall,and if you set the "no relationship rule" there,she might actually believe you. Have already decided where this was going (nowhere). And NOT agree if you change your mind.

    This has happened to me twice. I don't want a relationship,they SAY,but then be upset when I find someone else I'm interested in.

    Most guys are not actually players,they just want sex without having to be a boyfriend.

    REAL players,they don't LET anyone get attached.

  • there are multiple reasons.