My boyfriend just slapped me should I call the police on him?

Question

My boyfriend and I were in a really heated argument. We were having a fight about something really stupid and we both kept going on about it. We were both yelling very hurtful things that had nothing to do with the original topic of the argument. We were bringing up past instances and we were tying to prove each other wrong ruthlessly. In the end my boyfriend said something really mean and untrue about my sister I got as close as I could to his face and yelled "Shut the fuck up! You are the worst fucking boyfriend that I have ever had!" I know I shouldn't have said that, and Im pretty sure he would have never said that to me. I know this really hurt him. But still what he did in response was completely uncalled for. He just pushed me back and said in his most serious tone "Did you really just say that Payton? And literally slapped me across the face. I just stood there completely shocked and just broke down crying. I didn't even run or anything. I was just so confused. I could barley move cause I was crying so hard. I couldn't believe he had just disrespected me like that. I had never ever touched in any violent way. He froze too and didn't say anything. He just stood there and after a few minutes he said sorry quickly under his breath. And that's when I gathered myself enough to walk to the door and leave. I was still crying hard, and said nothing to him when I left. I probally looked like a fool.

So anyway when I told my sorority about this they all said I should break up with him and call the police, so the police would arrest him. I do think I will break up with him. But I don't know if I really want to call the police on him? What do y'all think I should do?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't see a reason to get the police involved. In a heated argument men and women often lose control and slap the other. It isn't right, and shouldn't be tolerated, but it isn't something worth involving the cops.

Of course your sorority would say to call the cops. Most women tend to think men should be held to a higher standard than they hold women to for committing the same action. If you had told them you got angry and slapped your boyfriend, they would laughing and telling you that he deserved it. They will almost always take the woman's side, instead of looking at it objectively.

Can you imagine if you had slapped him, how out of proportion him calling the cops against you would be? Personally I would break up over this, but calling the cops is just overkill and seems like the actions of a person looking for revenge, for than someone looking for justice or protection.

In the future I suggest you avoid getting in someones face and cussing them out. If someone throws a slap at that point it really shouldn't come as a surprise as both people are clearly reaching their breaking point. In fact the moment you got in his face and started yelling at him, you were actually committing a form of assault against him. So this getting the cops involved isn't something you really want to do.

Red_Arrow · Accepted Answer

The two of you worked the whole thing up to losing control. He should not have hit you. But you pushed him way too hard, and you should not have done that. I don't think he is abusive. That is the only time he has done that and he was shocked and apologized immediately after. I notice you did not apologize to him for what you did. Legally, and to all the "What is right" people, he should never have hit you.

If you want to break up with him, that is a reasonable response. But I think that is all you should do, given the circumstances.

And by the way, if he had gotten in your face and you slapped him, what would you have thought then. And I bet your sorority sisters would have cheered you slapping him. Funny how what is right takes different turns for the two genders.

petite_salope · Accepted Answer

number one, take a picture of the bruise and write the time and date of the assualt. this is incase you need it later. yes.. break up with him and NEVER look back. IF after the break up he becomes a total stalker or it turns crazy, you will have started a 'log' of all of the activity. save texts, and messeges. do NOT answer the phone. don't listen to the ass hats that say you were 'asking for it' and you were an 'aggressive bitch' you both were being angry and fighting. cover your ass and walk away. it is NOT worth it. trust me on this one... i'm in court NOW for orders of protection, sadly i married mine before the monster came out, and i stayed... like an idiot because i felt 'trapped'. run... far away from him... for good.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Sorry to hear you had to go through that :( If he did it once, he'll likely do it again. Calling the police might ruin this guy's life... it's up to you. If he's a sweetheart who just got caught up in the moment but ordinarily would never ever hurt you, I think breaking up with him, cutting off all contact with him and warning your friends that he got violent with you would be punishment enough. If you could easily see him getting physical with you or another woman again, and if he didn't seem sorry and completely ashamed, calling the cops might actually help him realize that he needs to change his attitude.

virgogirl92 · Accepted Answer

There is NEVER a time when violence should enter a relationship. I do realize some will disagree. Unfortunately I do not think the police should be involved, and it is good that you told someone. I think you need to evaluate if you want to stay in this "relationship" or not. The one and ONLY time I was assaulted, I never looked back. I am not comparing your slap to my abuse, but it always starts with a trigger. If your simple words, regardless of tone affected him in such a manner, what is next?
I hope this helps in some way. Be safe.

Izumiblu · Accepted Answer

Chances are you wouldn't call the police if your girlfriend slapped you. So no, just break up with him. Unless he actually caused physical harm that you need treatment for. Break up with him, see how he takes it. If he takes it badly then report it as a precaution.

Anonymous · Answer

If it was just one slap.. and it was because you got into his face and screamed at him telling him he's the worst boyfriend ever...

It was wrong of him to slap you, but it was just as wrong for you to say that. As you did state that you shouldn't have said that to him. I'm not going to say you deserved to be slapped, (although I can guarantee if I said that to my girlfriend and she slapped me... millions of woman all over the world would say that I deserved it) but I will say that I don't have any sympathy for you being slapped.

I think calling the police is a bit harsh, especially with little to no evidence. Could you imagine how many calls the police would be responding too if they were called for every single time someone was slapped... Hell, I would've called the police on several ex-girlfriends if that was the case... It is wrong and it sounds like he felt shame from it.. Either choose to stay with the guy that you believe is the worst boyfriend ever, or do what I did and break up with your boyfriend... But calling the police? On his first time slapping you... and when he felt bad for doing so? that's a bit excessive. If he punched you.. I might say differently... but a slap... No.

PhoenixRisingDK · Answer

Well, he shouldn't have slapped you, but then again you shouldn't have been an aggressive bitch. Every action cause a reaction.
But since being a bitch isn't illegal and slapping is, you can press charges against him.

Whether or not you should, is up to yourself.
An assault charge on his criminal record will not be taken lightly through his life, so you may want to assess whether the punishment fits the crime or not.
Because it will not just be jailtime or civil service, this will follow him for years.

Personally, I think breaking it off with him will make him see how stupid is was to slap you.
Since it was a one time offence and no real damage was done, and the fact that he already probably feels like shit for doing it, losing his girlfriend will probably be enough to teach him a lesson.

Do what you think is reasonable.

GoodManDave · Answer

It's an issue of no one should be putting their hands on someone like that, woman or man. Yes, he was provoked. So what? He's in charge of himself. Calling the cops I think would be overkill, but being honest, telling about BOTH sides of what happened is fine; and let other girl FRIENDS know so that they don't date him - totally called for.

This is a break up point. You go back, and it tells him that you're ok with it. You're not married, I hope there are no kids involved... so you have no reason to keep him in your life. It's over. It SHOULD be over. Do not go back to him, no matter the excuse.

Anpu23 · Answer

Calling the police at this point becomes your word against his. Unless he left a mark, or you have a photo of the mark. Then what you get a cop giving you the 20 questions. Not really helpful and certainly doesn't fix anything does it? If you are thinking about using the police as revenge, is that something you can really deal with? And what if it had been the reverse, if you had lost control and slapped him, how would you handle the cops showing up at your door a day or two later? If you are thinking about stopping him from doing it to someone else, I am pretty sure that this is a one time thing and he feels terrible about it. It's not like this is a pattern of abuse.

PT1911 · Answer

What he did was uncalled for, but out of anger.

Shit happens, I mean, it's not like he unleashed and kept beating you. That would be different.

However, be vigilant. Learn from this and move on. He's probably freaking out, thinking that he's abusive, thinking that he can't control himself. Because know I would be.

Take him out, make a peace offering. Chances are all the things you said were laying deep down in each others minds. Communicate frequently to avoid them.

So no, don't call the cops, don't break up with him... instead work through it.

It seems like it was an honest mistake

mydirtypanties · Answer

Yes, he did slap you. But, if you think that he's really sorry, that he desevers one more chance, then give him the chance.
If he doesn't change and hits you again, I recommended you to call the police.
Such boyfriends can be dangerous.
If you need any more help, just message me. :)
Xoxo, Natalie.

parkway · Answer

No, you were part of the problem and you won. You hit the nerve that really got to him. One slap and it is over, he knows he did wrong.

You call the police and you may suffer more than him in that if he is punished harshly, you will or may loose the love of your life.

Give him one chance and you watch what you say.

Stacyzee · Answer

If there's no physical evidence (visible mark or bruisings) chances are the police won't take much action.
But, don't let this discourage you from filing a police report.
No matter what you said, you didn't deserve that.
He's a wuss and would never step to a man the same way.

hypno-trip · Answer

I'm not sure about calling the police. Sometimes my mom and dad get into fights and my mom gets overly emotional and calls the police. Actually most of the time she screams so loud that the neighbors call the police. My mom is a sweet person but sometimes cannot control herself well. I'm like that too partly because of shared genetics -_-

I do think a break up is in order not necessarily the polic. It sounds like both of you could use some anger management courses or something.

vjreejr · Answer

Calling the police on this is a minor thing. Besides, they do that to their wives or blacks too. Dump the guy. I think he realizes what he did was wrong and crosses the line. In court, that you got slapped is not a big thing. Not even sure it qualifies as assault and battery. It'd be aggravated anyway, so the courts recognize that this is human nature. Geez if we arrested and convicted everyone over slapping, half the female population would be in prison as well as most parents.

Northeast106 · Answer

I wouldn't. If he was constantly abusive or violent then yes. I think passion got the best of both you, and it's best to let it go. Police also have a way of making things worse, and once their involved there is no turning back. Whether you continue being with him or not is up to you.

RationalMale · Answer

"I got as close as I could to his face and yelled "Shut the fuck up! You are the worst fucking boyfriend that I have ever had!"

Yeah, you're lucky all your teeth are still intact. You literally want to be screaming directly into people's faces? Hell, a place where I work, a manager fired a guy in that manner... the guy came back with a shotgun. It was not pretty.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm sorry he slapped you. Calling the police is rather harsh. I think his reaction to slapping you and seeing you cry is punishment enough. Then again, I'm not in the situation, it's a hard call to make. Have either of you spoken since and talked about what happened? From what you said he seems rather shocked at his own behaviour.

NickyVicious · Answer

I think you should really end the relationship. There is NO EXCUSE for a guy to put his hand on a woman. Yeah, you two were both saying hurtful things but he could have walked away and hit the wall... not you. In my opinion, if he really respected you, at the end of the day, he would have never put his hands on you. Simple.

JackKerouac77 · Answer

It will be hard to prove he slapped you some time ago, but you can do it if necessary. I think it's far more effective to break up and tell other girls what happened so they don't date him.

TheDevilInside · Answer

No. It's a couple's fight. He lost control and regretted it later.

Just break up with him. That and his regret should be punishment enough for him. No need to involve the cops. Chances are they won't do anything to him anyway.

TripleAce · Answer

I think if this is the only time he's ever done that, it's ok to give him another chance. He does seem very apologetic and sometimes words can hurt more than something physical, so think about that also

i don't think he hit you on purpose at all

Anonymous · Answer

Nope you should break up with em and be done with it.

LeonardChurch · Answer

If it was a one time thing, then don't call. If you don't break up and he ends up doing it again, do call the police.

Also, it does seem a bit hypocritical to say you couldn't believe he had disrespected you like that after what you said to him. I'm not saying he was in the right, but what you said probably hurt him just as much as he hurt you.

Neuromancer22689 · Answer

No shame in filing a report with the police station. You just need to ask yourself if you think it is worth it. I definitely would if you think he is going to be violent again, however, it sounds like he regretted it. Your best bet is probably just to break-up with him since you don't get along.

Personally, if a woman slapped me or if a guy punched me, I'm not bothering to get the cops involved.

My boyfriend just slapped me should I call the police on him?

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