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It''s nice to feel wanted and possessive guys make you feel wanted, I don't think there's anything wrong with a little possessiveness or jealously in a relationship as long as it's not affecting the relationship.
But from someone with experience with both possessive and non possessive people. Sometimes with possessive people, the fantasy is better than the actual outcome. It can get to a point where you feel suffocated and like you aren't trustworthy, even when you are.
I'm just hoping that you don't want to lose yourself in someone else. Sometimes it's easy to do that in relationships, especially when the other person is more possessive, controlling or dominant and it seems like it's a lot easier for us as women to do that. I've seen so many women so eager to find someone, to be theirs, that they're willing to sacrifice their own personality for the other persons.
I'm not saying that's how you feel, i'm just suggesting you be aware and careful when it comes to something like that.
Honestly it could be related to your dad but who really knows. So many different people and relationships influence how we feel and what we want.
Is it possible to repair the relationship with your dad at all?
Maybe you feel insecure, and his aggressive way of showing that he "wants"* you is like validation for you. Either validation in the sense that he's giving you lots of attention, or validation because he's making his "feelings"** aware.
* this is only how most people interpret possessiveness, as the possessive person "wanting" you. But most of the time it's just about control. They want control over you and should not be confused as them wanting you. They might want you. But often it just boils down to control and manipulation.
** like I hinted at above, it's usually not about wanting someone, or having an emotional connection (feelings). It's about control.
It depends what you mean by possesive.. Everyone likes a woman that values her relationship like thinking she is mine and i am her man.. But trying to fight anyone that speaks to you is a whole different story and its not healthy.. Also a sign of insecurities.. Believe me tou dont want a guy like that and if you do then your boyfriend will likely get into trouble sometime because instead of calming him down you will instead tell him that he did the righ thing.
From a relationship coaches perspective, just a few things to think about:
1) You may find possessive guys sexy because they make you feel wanted, protected and sexy. It's possible that you've dated nice guys, and perhaps even timid guys, and while they were respectful and giving, you felt something missing. A lot of women have wanted to be with a possessive guy because of the perceived rush and energy that they would get from doing so. Of course, however, that lasts for a very short period of time before jealousy kicks in. More on this below.
2) Yes, dating a man that is possessive can be dangerous and it's important to distinguish a possessive man from a confident man. As in, possessive men can sometimes be viewed as confident because they appear tough and in control but the reality is, someone who 'appears' tough is playing that persona (and controlling their significant other) because they are, in fact, not confident.
3) I wouldn't draw the conclusion, at least not based on what you've shared, that it's about unresolved relationship issues with your father.
Probably that pesky thing called monogamy.
Unfortunately, possessive men are rarely healthy, in that they are denying you something, some part of them that they know is vital... hence why they are unnaturally possessive.
Your best bet is to find a man who truly loves you, with all he is, and is not just lying about it. The easiest way to tell is you deny him sex until the day of the honeymoon. A man who truly loves you will stick with you. A man who only wants sex will run as far away as he can.
It is a lonely road, but worth it.
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39Opinion
the lack of relationship with your father could be a reason
typically people who like possessive partners do so because they interpret possessiveness as a sign that they are greatly loved or appreciated. since you haven't had a relationship with your father in a long time you may want a relationship from a many who outwardly shows what you interpret as great desire to be with and protect you since you didn't really have that from your father
or it could be all that but not because of a lack of relationship with your father
You're probably just submissive, it's fairly common among women to be honest, though most don't so openly admit it and some men find it to be very attractive trait in a woman. You can be in a perfectly healthy relationship with someone who is "possessive" of you it just depends where the lines are drawn and how you treat each other.
It's also possible it has something to do with your relationship with your dad, maybe it's made you strongly desire a man who wants you so much he would never leave, like he owns you or something. I also had my dad leave when I was about 13, there was a 7 year period where we never spoke and for the most part I only hear from him once or twice a year and often only when he wants something. This has created very strong sense of loyalty in me, if I can;t trust someone to be loyal I cut them out of my life and it's a primary trait I look for in women as well..
"I never had a relationship with my dad and haven't spoken to each other in 9 years. Could my relationship with my father also be the reason?"
See ladies, when us guys say "she has daddy issues" we aren't just guessing. We KNOW!
You probably want the urge to have a dominant male figure in your life because when kids have a father they completely trust their father when he says how things are and they assume he's always right. That makes the kid feel safe and secure knowing how the universe works through daddys eyes. You never got that. So now you subconsciously want that.
Don't.
Oh it's easy. A possessive guy only wants you. You are his sole possession. You are his ultimate desire. His 'precious'. His and no one else.
It's like a woman's wet dream. Every woman wanted to feel she is needed. She wants to feel desired. To be treated as precious. To be important. To be unique.
You are attracted to that aspect. You need more self confidence. You need to have this idea "I will crave a hole this ugly world if it dates to reject me".
Men are protective of their female it's one of the most primal instinct. So many females like possessive men as it shows that they can protect her which means he could protect any of their children or when she is pregnant and weak. Every living organism is based on a single strong function "Passing on your information" it means passing your DNA so a possessive male can protect his female from any danger from other men or in general they are more protective. That's why you find them sexy.
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I generally think guys who are confident and go for what they want as if they are "entitled" to it attractive to women. Obviously, there's a limit but this trait makes the girl feel wanted and appreciated.
It is sexy.
very likely it is. also possessiveness shows that you care but obviously it could be taken too far. the fact that you've never had it before shows you're probably naive to the dark reality of being someone who truly cannot let you go. you're probably only seeing the side that cares and will fight for you
Because you mistake possessiveness as masculinity. Just like women mistake assholes as confident men.
Possessiveness is actually rooted in deep insecurity. This guy fears losing you so he wants to control.
You are opening the door to abusive men, aggresive stalkers, domestic violence (possibly rape) and more. Hope you find that "sexy". Have fun.
It's probably because it makes you think how he would react to this or how he reached if I did that probably makes your heart beat in excitement. I don't think I'm possessive but if a woman wanted me to I would to make her happy
Maybe, so you feel the need of having a man who will make you feel protected. You want him to care about you and protect you. And a possessive man gives this illusion. Don't fall for a man like this, being possessive doesn't mean someone cares about you, actually it's the opposite, someone who lets you be you and also someone who trusts you.
Because you have self esteem issues and feel like you need a man to prove his feelings for you in an over exaggerated way such as possesiveness in order to compensate for your insecurity. And yes a lot of it probably stems from your relationship with your father.
Because like all women you desire and alpha male to own you and you want to submit yourself to his will. Even the most radical feminist doesn’t want to date and male feminist who lacks a set of balls.
You said the reason. You haven't been with one and you only think of the positive aspect of it
Your relationship with your father is most likely the reason, yeah. You should talk with a therapist about this so that you don't find yourself in an abusive situation.
Possessive men are really sexy. That's why they want to possess you. But some girls feel that they are not independent and manly because they are too much obsessed with their partner. Sometimes this obsession is really the true love.
everything should be balancing like being possessive is great means he cares but too much of it i dont think it will be good and yeah it is kind of sexy lol
You like the idea of somebody wanting you so much.. And yes it most likely has something with yo father.. Maybe a subconscious feeling of being unwanted by yo father..
You're insecure and want to feel wanted. Your relationship with your father is most likely one of the reasons.
Because you think they're possessive because they think you're hot. But be careful Asker, because IRL it's like these guys always cheat.
Maybe in the past you've been with guys that didn't show that they cared and now you're looking for the extreme polar opposite (possessiveness).
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