Why are boys players?

Okay so there is this guy that goes to my school that I am feeling, but he is a little player and talks to a lot of females. We have talked about things like sports and interests but I want to know how I can make a difference for him to change his player ways or at least find out if he is even capable of changing his player ways. What kinds of things make girls stand out to be different and not come off as sluts. What kinds of things make guys have an impression on a girl and gets them thinking about a girl and wanting to hang out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First let's clear up the definition of a player:

    player (n): a guy who says and does anything just to sleep with as many girls as he can.

    Obviously this definition is self explanatory as to why guys do this. Some guys are just carnal and that's all they want. Girls do this too, it's natural that we wish to mate, just uncivilized.

    Your definiton:

    player (n): a guy who talks to different girls while not in a relationship

    This is not the correct definition of a player, in fact this type of guy should be called opportunistic.

    He is just getting options. Why only talk to one girl? There's no rush to perfection. In fact you'll find that most of these guys don't stay single very long and are happy to be in a good relationship.

    Anyways you'll just have to prove to him that you're the best girl to be chosen. To make an impression, stand out, you'll just have be yourself completely. Guys like when a girl is not afraid to be herself. To get him thinking about hanging out you'll just have suggest it to him subtly. Sometimes a guy will never think about something unless it's right in front of him. Show him you're interested in him. If he doesn't show interest, then that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes people just don't like each other.

    Good luck :)

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    • I don't totally agree with this..

      Alarm bells started ringing in my head when I read the authors question. NO ONE should have to prove they are worthy to anyone. He sounds like he enjoys the interest he is getting so why keep to one girl when has so many to choose from, I think he will just break the authors heart because he has no desire to settle on one girl. We are all opportunists, we all try to get the girls we want. I would suggest the author finds an alternative fancy.

    • I have to agree with the answer, and disagree with the comment. The first girl that you meet ISN'T and CAN'T BE the best girl in the house. I prefer meeting and hanging out with more than a couple of girls and then seleting from one of them. After all, I can't know which girl is "my type" without spending a little bit of time with them. An example to this can be "first dates". The goal of a "first date" is to decide whether you want to spend more time with the person or not, isn't it?

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What Guys Said 27

  • Ouch, not all boys are players. :P

    But as for changing someone, it won't happen. You'll end up hurt when he gets what he wants, that's what players do.

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  • You CANNOT change a "player" and thinking you can change a player is a recipe to a broken heart. Only the Player can choose to stop hooking up with a bunch of girls for just one.

    If I a man can have his choice of women he is very unlikely to choose just one. Players are guys who seem to have other options, so for him to choose you, you'll have to be both pretty and genuinely interesting.

    But Trickster is right when he says for the most part, women don't need to do muc to get a guy if they're beautiful and actually show interest. Just don't be needy.

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  • Actually, there's a lot of girl players too, it's just that guys don't actually get a chance with them, so they're not technically IN a relationship, since the girl has the ultimate say, so it's kinda harder to pick up on it... But so many guys are left broken hearted too after a girl strung them along a little too much in the flirting process or between people that are friends, without the girl committing/reciprocating.

    It goes both ways... It's not just guys that are players.

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  • Well to answer your topic question, "Why are boys players?" the basic answer to that is...sexual hormones. Boys have a need to release, and do so indiscriminately, and sometimes the best way to do that is to by-pass female emotions and needs, 'play' around them manipulative, to meet that sexual craving in a rapid less trying political/economic success.

    That's something of a technical answer, but that's it on an academical sense.

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  • why are girls sluts

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What Girls Said 12

  • Basically first you have to respect yourself if you want the guy to respect you, for instance not being a slag is one, but also don't take any of his s*** if you think his taking you for a mug then tell him straight and if he makes you feel uncomfortable like trying to imply dirty talk put him straight cos that way he will know he won't get it! cos so many girls give it to guys on a plate these days and they wonder why they get used?:@

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  • because they are genetically made up to be that way. it sounds so stupid and you probably won't like this answer but its true loll. it goes back to evolution and how males/females selected mates which was directed to help reproduction. since WAAAY back in the day, caveman time, men's brains have worked in way that made them seek out as many partners as possible to pass out sperm in order to create more babies. where as women seek one partner that she knows will stay with her to take care of the children. it's really not their fault that they are players hahah.

    and just so everyone knows, the purpose of life is to reproduce. so have LOTS and lots of sex;)

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  • don't even get involved with a guy like that, they don;t change. I ended up dating someone like that unfortunately because I didn't even know he was like that. just walk away now trust me. if you get involved with someone like that it's complete hell and you will really regret it. they are not worth the stress- being lied to and treated like crap is AWFUL.

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  • Everyone is different, but thinking there is something SO SPECIAL about you that will make him run after you is unrealistic. There is no recipe for love. If he has many girls chasing him he will allow himself to choose, enjoy it and go for what he likes eventually. You of course, will define him as a player in the meantime. You can't know do you fit the profile of his ideal girl. Be yourself, hope he likes you best and move on when you realize the scenes you tend to see in teen movies are not real. (Unless you see him sparkle in the sunlight. Then you go emo and remember not to bathe for a couple of weeks. xD)

    I'm sorry I couldn't help myself. I still can't believe I watched that thing trough to the end. xD

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  • It usually takes a lot to change a "player" mind. The best thing to do is to get close to him as a friend. As a friend you will learn his "ins and outs". It will give you a chance to find out if he is the type of person you would date. You may not want to be stuck in the friend zone but you will get closer to him. Eventually, both of you will have mutual feelings. Guys usually hang out with girls who are their friends a lot and the "get to know you" process is a bit faster. I have stepped into a the friend zone a lot of times to get close to guys, and it always works. Just give it a chance.

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    • So we don't really text on a daily basis more like every other day... he plays a sport so he is kinda busy

      i don't know whether I should text him or wait on him to text me... and I don't know like how to make myself not seem like I'm jumping at him like all the other females..

    • A general text will not seem out of the ordinary.

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