Do guys ever wish they could just skip dating and jump straight to marriage?

Does it seem like dating is hard and marriage would be the ultimate goal. Do u ever wish u could skip the "titles" hang out alot, no fancy shmancy, and just say I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, many guys would.

    But they would be going headlong into something with no foundation, no knowledge of their mate- which is a massive mistake.

    The reason for dating is to get to know one another, to build a lengthy repertoire with one another. Sex paralyzes that. (Because it's the desert, the reward, why work for something [getting to know you on a deep emotional level] when you have already been rewarded?)

    When you have your first fight, all sorts of emotions will come flooding in. Will you be swept away by them because you have no foundation with your mate? Year (s) of dating him, feeling loved as he does sweet things for you, as he explores your heart, and cherishes it. Year (s) of conversing, of hanging out, of doing things together, getting to know each other.

    Nothing replaces that, not even good sex. Once you have that established (Again. In Abstinence. Ideally you both should be virgins.) THEN you can begin to build on a lifelong relationship that will last, as you both better understand and know each other, from the former relationship.

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What Guys Said 21

  • People argue that dating is a proving ground and when you get to know eachother. I used to think the same, but now I disagree. In all of the pre-relationship dates I've been on, I've never once been my natural self and I doubt any of the girls I dated were their natural selves either. Pre-relationship dates create an awkward and stifling environment that encourages fakeness and inhibits genuine expressions.

    Pre-relationship dating doesn't help you know who people are, or what they're like. I think that discovery process should occur through hanging out. Once they have gotten a feel for what eachother is like, they can decide on that basis whether a serious relationship is wanted. Once a serious relationship is in place, they can decide whether to incorporate real dates into their relationship.

    Given this way of going about relationships, it would be possible for both people in the relationship to avoid dates, if they really want to, but still enable both of them to continue their relationship and progress toward marriage. (Personally, I like mid-relationship dating, just not pre-relationship dating.)

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    • Yes I strongly agree. The dating is much more intimate when u already know the person. And much much better.

    • I also thinks it's better because u get to know the person on more of a personal basis and there's nothing to hide.

  • Oh god, no!!!

    Marriage is as serious a commitment as there is. Why just jump right into something like that?

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    • I'm not saying just jump into it. I'm saying u know the person for a long time already.

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    • I hear ya.

      For me it's not about chasing all the time. It's about chasing the one woman I want, and making her mine.

      I'm sure there's some evolutionary psychology behind it and that it might not make as much sense in the modern world, but I guess I want to feel like I've caught her, knocked her over the head, and dragged her back to my cave. :-P

    • Thats A Nice analogy. I guess I can see the pride in it. Lol.

  • LOL. From the day I met my fiancee.

    But then she'd have missed out on the part when I surprise flew her to Paris and proposed at Trocadero in front of the Eiffel.

    I knew I would marry this girl after date 5. 4 months in I talked to her parents. 8 months in I proposed.

    Do I wish I could've skipped the whole ordeal of finding someone? Yes. But I know I wouldn't the same person today and appreciate her as much if I hadn't gone through those experiences.

    Do I wish I could skip the dating bit? Sure. Heck, I wish we could just be married and not have to plan a wedding. But, again, I know I'm better off for the time we've dated. We've gotten to know each other well. And only grown to love each other more.

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  • no because I want someone who believes in trust, honesty, communication and respect. Im big on communication. if you dont communicate I dont know whats wrong or what they are thinking. Maybe my shirt looks dumb on me, maybe I got kale between my teeth..

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  • No through dating you find out if your compatible if you click with someone. You develop friendship all this helps in marriage part of the reason of divoice now a days is people rushing into marriage.

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    • I'm not saying rush into marriage. I'm saying like if you're best friends with someone, and you care respect communicate well with them for many years, what's the possibility of never having titles and going to marriage. It's as if you're dating already, but more on a personal note.

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    • So basically, we would have to date in the long run. That's very good advice. Thank you, you have changed my perception on my views.

    • Ya pretty much and your welcome.

  • Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllll no :)

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  • Mostly not but sometimes I just want to find someone I like and marry them right there. Even considered an online bride lol

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  • No, dating is required. Obligatory "I'm sorry I thought this was America." Cleaning lady from family guy: No, no, no arranged marriages here.

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  • I am against marriage in general but there's many cases of guys wanting marriage way too soon. There's the old joke that's probably happened where the "guy pulls out a ring on the first date."

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    • No that's way too soon...

  • Hmmm how would I know the person was right for me? I prefer dating first.

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    • I just find dating awkward and it's hard to be yourself.

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    • That's true :)

    • Yes yes yes!

  • lol fuck no. No marriage. Ever.

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  • wowowow not marriage, oh god, NEVER marriage.

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    • You're still young young buck!

  • This guy does.

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  • why should we be so dumb and go to marriage with someone we don't even know if we can hang more than 3 hours together without getting crazy. marriage for less tax paid is the only thing I know

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  • It'd be easier, but nope.

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    • So u say no to easier? I think it's better because the two people would be more like friends.

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    • As do I. But don't give up.

    • Never give up

  • Nope not ever.

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  • Not into marriage but into bed!

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  • Yeah some guys do that, its called going to Vegas haha

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  • Eww, no. Marriage is scary, why would I want to jump straight into it? lol

    Now if you asked me "Don't you wish society would stop getting so hung up on marriage and be fine with just being together as you are?"...I'd definitely say yes :)

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  • Yep. Dating is stupid

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    • I just hate meeting new people, and dating feels so unnatural and awkward to me. I would just rather be friends and save the seriousness for marriage. Who wants to waste countless years just dating someone and not getting married. That's such a waste of time to me. I mean if u know it's right, who needs titles.

    • Especially at my age. I don't have time for that bullshit and wasting money on the wrong one

    • That's how I feel. I'm not getting any younger, and the biological clock is ticking...If u know what I mean. Lol

  • Without dating you won't know that person. And if you want to marry someone beacuse of looks I have bad new for you...

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    • No I'm talking like maybe ur friends..close friends...U hang out all the time. And maybe fall in love, but never officially date.

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    • Hmmm not sure about that

    • Oh come on how is that possible? O:

What Girls Said 6

  • That's already done in cultures that practice arranged marriage. But I couldn't do that.

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    • I don't agree with arranged marriages, but I'm saying like what if you've been friends with someone for years. No titles. And they just jump and propose to you, and you never considered yourself an item, just close friends. That's what I'm saying.

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    • Yes that's very true

    • But if you're good friends for a long time, that helps to better know a person too.

  • Naturally I would want to date and in reality I would.

    But right at this moment I just wish I had a husband to pounce on. DX I know this is really bad but I'm really in the mood for the *whistle* and I got no hubby~

    And I don't believe sex before marriage. CX

    I'm sorry, naturally I will date so don't think I'm some kind of lustful demon. ^^"

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    • Lol no not at all. It's natural to have those type of urges.

  • I would never everrrrrr want that. Dating is like giving someone a trial run. Jumping into marriage, you'd more than likely end up with the wrong person.

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    • That's what I'm saying. But be friends first.

    • I'm wondering when a guy really likes you, if he puts u as friends first just to see how u will act. Then if he continues to like after some time if he would consider a relationship, but maybe he does things that are already like a relationship, without the titles.

  • Yeah I think about that a lot.

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  • No most guys would rather just have sex or not get married

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    • Mh if I could. It's so true

    • Yeah it sucks
      They just pretend that they want marriage

    • Correct. They will tell u everything u want to hear just to sac u, then leave u

  • Yikes! Not me!

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