Last Name After Marriage?

Fellow Females: would u keep your own last name after you're married, or would you change it to your new hubby's last name? Would you be cool with your husband changing his last name to yours?
Guys:Would you be cool with your wife keeping her last name , or would u want her to have your last name. Would u be alright with changing your last name to hers?

Updates:
I was raised old fashioned, so I would definitely, with no problem change my last name to my future husband's :3

1|0
32|20

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hell no, I would not be cool with my wife keeping her last name. I also do not go for that hyphenated last names crap either.

    My wife kept her name the same for work, and professional related things and I was okay with that. But socially we were Mr. & Mrs. my last name, all her ID was changed to her married name and all legal documents were signed using her married name.

    1|3
    6|4
    • We are all entitled to our preferences, but I am curious to know the reasons for your strong aversion to your wife keeping her own name?

    • Show All
    • @Sara413. A while back, someone asked. Are their any real men any more?

      The guy you describe, is the guy you will marry than bitch to your friends. That he can not make a decision, he can not take charge and a lot of other things.

      What is this crap that you lose yourself?

      Men lost themselves when they get married as well, that is the blending.

      I know that when I was married, every decision I made I had to consider how it would effect my wife. The first thing I had to adjust to when I married, was that it was not longer me but I had become a we.

      If you can not think of yourself as a we, you should not get married. Marriage is about 2 people, becoming one person. There is no me any more, it is We.

    • You're really not in a position to presume anything about me or the man I will marry. I already agreed that marriage is a blending of lives. Where I disagree is with the idea that not changing my name has any bearing on my commitment to my husband, which it doesn't.

      If your wife asked you to take HER name, would you? Obviously all the matters from the blending identities perspective is that you share a name, so I would assume it doesn't matter WHOSE name...

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd take his as marriage is a symbol of not only commitment but also caming together as one.. n having the same last name is a symbol of family n gives the 2 of u that one more thing to show u r connected as one..

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 19

  • Because of the overal societal expectations that children and generally the wife share the husband's last name, I'd have a preference for that. That said, if there's a good reason to not do it, I'm cool with it. For example, if she has a professional presence in the work world. Some hyphenate to solve this but it's completely up to her. I would be very reluctant to change my last name, particularly since I"m the last of the line. I'd want the children to carry my name. This is just a personal preference.

    5|1
    0|0
    • I always think that having children definitely complicates things. Fortunately, neither me or my boyfriend want kids so it's a non-issue that we both want to keep out last names. I have dated men in the past, though, who lost it over the thought of me keeping my name, which to me is crazy. Unless you have kids, there's really no reason why you have to share a last name. If you have kids, it makes sense to take one or the other parents' last name for all of you, or to hyphenate names. I have a long last name, though, so hyphenating has always been out of the question haha

    • Two comments: 1) The kids decision could change in a heartbeat and don't bet our marriage on it not changing. Find someone that, should you decide to have kids, is a guy you want to be their father.

      2) People associate couples by last name and it's always a little awkward when they don't share a last name. Take for me: I have experience here. The whole Mr & Mrs thing is firmly incorporated out culture.

    • I can guarantee the kid thing isn't gonna change. I've been sure about that since I was about 15 years old and have only gotten more sure as I've gotten older.

      As for the whole Mr. And Mrs. Thing, I don't think it would bother me. If I met a colleague of his or something and they called me "Mrs. His Name" just assuming we had the same name, I'd be ok with it.

  • Absolutely I'd be fine with her keeping her last name.

    To be honest, I always wondered why the WIFE had to change her last name to the husband's. Weren't marriages supposed to be like, a 50/50 thing?

    But if she keeps her name... what do we name the kids? Do they choose their own last name depending on their favorite parent or something?

    My brain always has these weird, random kinda questions.

    6|1
    0|0
    • I'm surprised so many girls are okay with changing their last name. I would hate to change my last name (and trust me, I have a huge reason to, my last name is EASILY made fun of, EASILY), it's always been a defining thing for me, like, this is your CLAN name you were born with and shit, y'know?

    • Show All
    • Usually the kid gets the father last name. I head once it was "to prove paternity".
      Since the mother carries the baby for nine months and gives birth she has a special bond and it's obvious the baby is hers, the dads last name makes him feel included in the whole process.

    • I always think that having children definitely complicates things. Fortunately, neither me or my boyfriend want kids so it's a non-issue that we both want to keep out last names. I have dated men in the past, though, who lost it over the thought of me keeping my name, which to me is crazy. Unless you have kids, there's really no reason why you have to share a last name. If you have kids, it makes sense to take one or the other parents' last name for all of you, or to hyphenate names. I have a long last name, though, so hyphenating has always been out of the question haha

  • "Guys:Would you be cool with your wife keeping her last name , or would u want her to have your last name. Would u be alright with changing your last name to hers? "

    ^y should i be "uncool"?

    last name's just a last name... i don't give a shit about it... unless her last name was "shit"... then yeah i'd give a shit and i'd not change my last name to hers ;p

    5|1
    1|1
  • That would be fine if she wants to keep her name, it is more common today, especially for women with a solid career and have made a name for themselves. I however would not change my name and The kids would have my last name. I am the last one to pass on my last name, so my family would disown me if I did not pass on the name...

    2|0
    0|0
  • There are quite obvious, practical reasons why it's the norm - it's not about the wife becoming the property of the husband and all that crap (which is probably the main reason misguided feminists object to it).
    What are you going to calls the kids? You can't just hyphenate your two last names to form a double-barrelled name, because then what are they going to do when *they* have kids? They'd have to give them a quadruple-barrelled surname, and so on...
    Plus, not wanting to change your surname kind of screams "expecting to get divorced quite soon". There are probably a few exceptions (perhaps if you are of different ethnicities, and want your child's surname to reflect that), but most of the time it makes little sense.

    1|0
    1|0
  • My wife will take my last name, I would be insulted if she did not and would not marry her. I will not break away from tradition I like how Its always been. Its the honorable thing to do the women takes the mans last name.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'd be cool with her keeping her own. If we were to have kids though I'd want the kids to have both last names.

    6|0
    0|0
    • I always think that having children definitely complicates things. Fortunately, neither me or my boyfriend want kids so it's a non-issue that we both want to keep our last names. I have a long last name, though, so hyphenating would be a terrible option for us if we did want to have kids.

  • I really believe that it's completely up to her, if she likes to keep her last name then let her keep it and if she likes to change it to my last name then let change it, I'm completely indifferent about that. It's not an issue.

    4|1
    0|0
  • I would prefer if whom ever I marry takes my last name but I'm not going to be really angry or anything if she keeps her last name.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm cool with her either taking my last name, or hyphenating my last name with hers.

    Anything else is a dealbreaker.

    2|0
    3|0
  • I think that when two people get married, they should both abandon their old last names and decide on a new one together.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm ok with anything to be honest, but as I plan on staying in America, I want my future kids to have an American last name, so I wouldn't mind taking my wife's last name. After all it's just a name, and my last name may give some problems to pronounce and write for those who just speak English, so to make my kid's life easier (abd my wife's) I would gladly take her last name.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Id keep my last name. She can keep hers if she wants but id prefer her to have mine. I do want my kida to have my last name. Why? Because they are my kids and i gotta keep my family name going

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would prefer her taking my last name.

    1|0
    0|0
  • In my culture women should keep there last name

    4|0
    0|0
  • I would rather have the same last name, however it doesn't matter if I take hers or she takes mine.

    1|0
    0|0
  • We kept our separate names. Its easier and she is published. We know that most will refer to us as "mr and mrs x" but oh well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would be OK with her keeping hers. I wouldn't be OK with losing mine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wanted my wife's surname but she's too traditional and wouldn't have any of that.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm with your wife on this one

    • Well, now she has a surname she can't even pronounce :D

What Girls Said 31

  • I don't want to change my name. It's like when the year changes and it takes half the year to stop writing '14' instead of '15' and I would be messing it up constantly.
    My last name is MY last name. I do not become his property when we get married. He is not more important in the household. If he wants the entire family to have one name then he can take my name if he wants. I wonder why guys are usually opposed to changing THEIR name though?
    I guess I'm fine with the kids having his last name. "I don't want my family name to die out with me" GEE, HOW TERRIBLE. "I want to have a son to carry on MY family name" the whole idea is fucked up.
    If I am 100% Italian I would never change my name to a popular name of a different nationality.

    I will keep my name and he will probably keep his. I don't see why female children don't keep the mothers name and male children don't take the fathers name. Then everyone wins.

    6|0
    0|1
    • "I don't see why female children don't keep the mothers name and male children don't take the fathers name."

      That's a cool way of doing it. Having children totally complicates the whole thing. Lucky for me, neither my boyfriend or I want to have children, so we can and will both just keep our own names and leave it at that. But I could never really decide what the "right" thing to do would be if we ever had kids.

  • I'll probably change it to his last name, but I wouldn't really care. I'd be fine doing it either way. And he'd be fine to change his last name to mine too (though he wouldn't want to). We wouldn't want to double-barrel it because his name is already double-barreled and we'd end up with three surnames :P

    3|0
    0|0
  • We're a family, I want us to have the same name and seeing how he's the man in the relationship, I'm leaving my family whom I love and support, to support him from now on. So I'd be taking his name.
    I have no emotional attachment to names, they are just markings of where we are.

    4|0
    3|0
  • I would change it, I hate my last name, I can't wait to get rid of it.

    5|0
    0|0
  • i changed my last name to his. i wouldn't be ok with him taking my name. i would have MAYBE considered hyphenating my name, IF i wanted to keep it, but i didn't so it was a really easy decision. but i wouldn't want him to take my name for sure.

    2|0
    0|0
  • My last name is the name everyone calls me by. My parents didn't give me the family name, so I can't change that.

    My last name is like people's first name in here... lol do you get me? :)

    If he (husband) want me to add his last name , then sure.

    3|0
    0|0
  • I would change my last name.
    One of my old school teachers actually kept both names, she was called McDaniel-Lowe, so there's always that option.

    4|0
    0|0
  • I changed my last name to his when I got married. There was no reason for me to keep my name - it's not like it's going to die out with me, lol. I have 4 brothers who can keep it going.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'd be fine with him taking my last name if he wanted, but it's weird in our cultures to do that.

      I also don't see how me taking his last name makes me his property. That's how it used to be, but it's 2015. I'm still an individual and I view it as a symbol for a new chapter in my life.

    • Show All
    • Thanks. It's been almost 9 months now.

    • I can't wait til i get married *~*

  • I would change my name immediately because it doesn't go with my first name and people can't ever pronounce it correctly!

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm proud of my husband, I was proud to take his last name as my own. In genealogical references and even the society paces of old, a girl's maiden name would be referred to as née last name. My two brothers can carry on the family name anyway.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yes that's right and i really love how you put that. <3
      Also congratulations!

  • I would not change my last name because I want to honour my grandparents who died. On facebook I use my grandmother's last name instead of my dad's last name.

    3|0
    0|0
  • I would change my last name. ☺

    3|0
    0|0
  • I will keep my last name. I'd be OK with it if he wanted to take my last name for whatever reason he might have, but I wouldn't expect him to. Example, I do have a guy friend who took his wife's last name because they wanted to share a name, but both liked her last name better (his last name was close in spelling and pronunciation to male genitalia lol)

    0|0
    0|2
  • I'd change my name to his. I mean, I'm his and I'd want everyone to know that lol

    1|1
    2|0
    • But he's "yours" too, so why not have him take YOUR name?

      Obviously, it's a personal choice and whatever choice an individual couple makes is A-OK, but I'm curious as to why you would lean more toward taking his name than him taking yours, or both keeping your own, other than just basic traditionalism.

    • I totally agree with u, chica

    • Really, I just want to show how much I love him by doing that. I don't care much for my own last name so having it be replaced with his would be fine with me. Not much thought going into it. I'd just like it.

  • Keeping my name

    4|0
    0|0
  • I took my husbands. But that is a personal decision.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I really love my last name so I wouldn't change it. My parents never got married (but ARE together) so my mom never changed her last name and it's never been a big deal. The only problem that sometimes occurs is when my mom makes an appointment for me or something like that I don't know if she said her own name or mine.

    Also if I'm ever engaged to someone and they make a big deal out of me not changing my last name, than that would be a clear sign for me to call off the wedding.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would take my husbands last name and keep my original last name for business. I also like the idea of combining our names together. For example West and Kardashian would be Westian. Bad example but you catch my drift.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I keep mine and he keep's his. That's how all the women do it in my country and I like it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would want to change my last name if I liked my husbands last name. If not I would just keep mine or he can change his last name to mine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I got married once, I kept my own surname.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I dont care about that

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would keep my surname but also take my husbands surname so it's like a dual surname lool :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'll add my husband's name to mine

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't change it. This is my identity, this is the person I have been for the last 27 years, why would I change it?

    I believe in marriage, my parents have been married for more that 33 years and my mom never changed her last name.

    I read that someone said "I need to make decisions for both of us". No, we take decisions together.

    Definitely times have changed and you can married whoever you want.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No my last name is Peacock and I wanted to get rid of that name since the day I was born.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm going to change my last name to his but put my last name as the middle letter. Like my name, R., His last name

    1|0
    0|0
  • If changing your last name is a person's only concern when it comes to marriage then he/she does not deserve to be married at all because they don't know anything about marriage

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well, ik I am only 15 but if I ended up marrying the guy I'm with (fingers crossed, we've already been together 4 a year haha) I'm afraid I would have to keep my name. His surname is horrible, it sounds really bad with my name... But I guess my future babies could have his surname, i'd just have to name accordingly

    1|0
    0|1
  • I'm probably gonna change my last name to my husbands. I think it makes the most sense.

    3|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    1
Loading...