Should a woman change her last name after marriage?

Question

Budjy · Accepted Answer

For years I have always thought marriage today was always a silly concept unless you were both religious, same as valentines day. Why do I need a day, or an event to affirm that I love or am 'officially' with a person, it just seemed like a lot of money that would be better spent on things that actually did something.

Recently though, related to your question (hence the context) I changed my mind. I think both people should change their last name, I see marriage now as more of a ceremony that you're now both recognised as a joined family.

So in light of that, I think you should both take on each others names - you could also create a new name which is a mix of the two.

So in short, I think it makes sense to marry if the woman AND the man both change their names to encompass the two - to signify you're part of those respective families.

xkildy · Accepted Answer

I think you have the question wrong !! It's not should a women change her last name it's. Will she change her last name? Cause in the age of choices we choose to be apart of our husbands life and we take on that with the name change. If your marrying him out of love and wanting to live with him your whole life that means you want to share his life and bear his children. (Talked about before marriage) incase he does not want a child and you do.
You take on his last name as being a part of him now. Does that explain it

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

Its not mandatory but I think its a smart idea. If you and your husband have the same last name - people will be more likely to see you two as living in harmony with one another and agreeing with one another and happy with the relationship and have no intention of severing your bond. I know two people who could not change their last name because there sister in law had the same first name as the wife so if she changed her last name she would have the exact same name as her sister in law but before I learned this reason - I assumed the wife and husband argued a lot cause they had different last names.

AlienParasite · Accepted Answer

For me changing last names makes no sense and it's a weird custom that haven't existed in my country since medieval times, and therefore I don't understand why other countries keep it. In any case it's an offense to the woman's family to be erased that way. Plus seems a bit messy when it comes to identification documents.

However if you belong to a country where this is the custom, it's expected for you to do so, and if you don't follow the custom you would be seen as not enaugh in love or not able to commit.

Carbon-12 · Accepted Answer

I think it is up to them. if they want to great, if they don't great.
Personally I would keep my maiden name as a middle name and get a new last name, this is what my mom did. I see marriage as binding yourself to another, sharing yourself completely. So it makes sense to me to also share in their name.

jlee18 · Answer

I say only if she wants to. I was trying to find a more scholarly find but I don’t have enough point to post an article lol.

Back in the day, woman were required to change names because it was a law and woman were seen as one with their hubbys. Kinda like they were owned/ property is how I kinda looked at it which isn’t cool.

I feel anyone should feel free to choose whatever name they want. I do see how sharing the same last name as a family could bring closeness and I would agree that I would like that. but no one should changed their identities just because of silly tradition. Be you, talk with your partners and see if you could come up with a compromise and or, they may not care.

MissKittyz · Answer

You don't have to, your choice really. But I personally will take my fiancé's last name when we get married because I love him and want to officially be his forever and ever :) and have our kids have his name too so everyone knows we are a big family :)

Anonymous · Answer

Women should continue to change their last name if they want marriage to not disappear completely. It's one of the last remaining benefits of marriage for men. Over the last 40 years most of the benefits of marriage for men have disappeared while the risks and costs of marriage for men have continued to rise. Take away this last remaining benefit and most men will just say fuck it.

Another consideration is the mindset of a woman who wants to keep her last name. Personally, I would never marry a woman who wouldn't enthusiastically choose to take my last name. That decision on her part would tell me everything I need to know about her mindset, her priorities and her worldview to know with certainty that she is not someone I would want to commit my life to.

Poppykate · Answer

Change it... maybe... take it- definitely. When I was younger I would have definitely changed my name for a man. ( say in my 20s) Now that I am older, and have achieved a lot by my name, I am quite attached to it. I think if I did get married I would attach his name to mine.

slipperydip1994 · Answer

It's traditional, however the couple themselves can choose how they want to do the whole surname arrangement thing... does the guy take her surname... does she take his surname... do they join both surnames... endless possibilities. I don't mind either way.

mistixs · Answer

If he's the primary provider, then yes, because she's entering his household because he's the one paying for it. But if they want an egalitarian relationship in which the woman provides equally, then there's no more justification for the woman to take the man's last name, because it's equally her own household.

Gotcha_Writer10 · Answer

I mean, why not get it hyphenated? That way everyone wins!!! Though if he didn't like that, then id expect him to comprise with the name of our son if we had one. Where i could pick his middle name to be my dads name. Since thats the tradition in my family with boys getting the mothers fathers name as their middle one. Then id be happy.

CubsterShura · Answer

I don't think so. I don't get why anyone should be changing their last name after marriage, like what the heck. When I first heard that such a thing exists somewhere on this planet and not only have people taken it as a norm but also some people living here think imitating that stupid thing is somehow cool... I never got it and I'll never get it. I'm not changing my surname after marriage.

jaju45 · Answer

Not really.. Generally people marry around the age of 30. By this age, each one has its own identity formed in the society. So it may get affected after sudden change.

But it's upto that woman. If she wants to she can change her name.

She should not be pressurized.

kc1974 · Answer

It really, truly does not matter to me. It is entirely up to the individual woman whether she wants to or not. My ex-wife did take my last name when we got married, mainly because she had bad relations with her family and wanted to do so. I would have been happy either way. She is now remarried and has taken her new husband's last name, which is totally fine as well.

mermaidia_lol · Answer

I'm going to do this when I marry.

I love tradition and taking his last name really makes me feel like I'm his woman. That's something special.

But if a woman desires not to have her surname changed, she could just add on to the original. It's what my mom did.

Gods_Gift · Answer

It's up to her. Likewise for the husband. Thing is, if she doesn't she'll just stick with her father's name - one way or another she's receiving a surname from a man.
Unless we have a new pattern of girls getting their surname from their mother... but then the mother will have got it from her father, and so on.

SivaManohar · Answer

It's her wish. She may change or not. It's ok if she changes but it's wonderful when she adds both surname just like "Aishwarya Rai Bachan". It would be more pleasing and happy to a husband to have both the names than just changing her name.

To be Frank my mother uses her father's surname even today after 30+ years of marriage than her husband's. Even in every legal paper.

Jersey2 · Answer

It is best to be one family, including the kids. She only has her father’s name anyway. the male name can be traced back using dna as Y DNA can be traced through recent generations and a common name helps. Midoconrial dna cannot be traced in recent generations.

Anonymous · Answer

This is definitely one of those things that as a guy it's a good idea to get a sense of how strongly she feels about this early on. Because it's probably not a great indicator of a harmonious life for you to come if she's super rigid about refusing to take your name. Even worse if she's insisting on something different for the kids.

Киттйлинк · Answer

It’s always optional it’s never should you or should you not. It’s whatever you want. Nobody really cares what your name is unless it’s a super weird awkward name or a really cool one.

I always prefer whatever sounds better together... or added.

nachosaresexy · Answer

Of the the cultural stuff we do, this one kinda makes sense... keeps it simple for the kids. Some women like their lengthy hyphenated names, and that's cool, but expecting your kid to go by Brayden Shexnater-Dombrosky is pretty crazy.

SElizabethMaria · Answer

For sure. It is a nice tradition to signify the two marrying and starting a new life together! I am going to take his name when I get married - I want him to know that I am his.

Randomawkwardness · Answer

No, they don't have to. I plan on keeping my last name because it's a family name going back hundreds of years and if I have any children, they will have it too.

sapphireruby · Answer

Its a personal choice. I would change my name if I got married because I don't like the idea of my child having two last names and its tradition. But if my husband had a stupid name like "pooface" or something, I would want him to change his name.

mrbadwithgirls · Answer

Unless it is your own marriage does it really matter what the answer to this question is? Everyone need to stop asking questions for other people. Everyone has different beliefs, traditions, and opinions, so why not just let people do what they want? Regardless of your own believes, traditions, and opinions.

markscott · Answer

I'm old fashioned. I expected my wife to change her name after we married. She wanted to anyway. I would make an exception is she had a commercial need to maintain her name.

lumos · Answer

A woman can do whatever the hell she wants with her name, there's no "should" or "shouldn't". I plan on keeping my name. My future husband can do whatever he wants with his name. I don't care.

Anonymous · Answer

She doesn't have to, at least with me. My mom hyphenated hers, but, as long as my child, especially if it's a boy, gets and keeps my last name, that's all i care about. In fact, I don't even want to be married, but, because i don't want my children to be bastards, I will reluctantly get married

Ella1006 · Answer

It should be up to the woman but personally I would change my last name if I was getting married

NewUser19 · Answer

why is the question should when its a long standing custom? Question should be asking Should a woman keep her last name in marriage?

Anonymous · Answer

In my country you can keep your last name and the kids either get both of the parents name or the last name from the mother/father but it should be decided within the 10 days after birth otherwise the kids get mothers last name automatically. If i got married, i am not going give up my identity and change my last name.

sd1223 · Answer

It depends on the woman. I personally will change my last name when I get married. It’ll take some getting used to though lol 😂

throwawaytime · Answer

Here, sometimes when men have really stupid last names, they adobt their wives last names. I always found it weird, but when your last name is litterally "shitter" I see the point.

SpiderManFan2002 · Answer

Simple answer: If she wants to, then sure, why not? It's her name. If she doesn't want to, then she shouldn't have to, so no.

orangecherry · Answer

I'm going to get into trouble with the uber feminists, but I have to say I think the woman should.

MrGodKing · Answer

Doesn't really matter to me. I don't like my last name to be honest. Names are just sounds that identify you

abc3643 · Answer

I don't think so. I told my wife she didn't need to do that. I wasn't requesting it. But, SHE wanted to do it.

arabgoddess · Answer

I didn't need to lol he had the same last name lol... But in some cultures they don't change last names

LovingJo · Answer

It should be anyone's choice to be who and what they want to be. Including what they would like to be called. Fight for yourself and your own wellbeing!  💕

updog45 · Answer

There isn't in it for a guy to get married, technically speaking its a rotten deal. So The woman better change her name, thats about the only thing they have going for them

AynonOMouse · Answer

Of course. If she doesn't want to it is likely because she already has plans for divorce and just sees marriage for what it really is. A legal way for her to STEAL from a man.

foriWish · Answer

If she wants to, it's her identity. I don't care what some stranger does with their name. Now myself, is a different story.

Kitty46 · Answer

I always thought if you love your husband sooo very much then a woman would want to change her name, maybe I’m old fashion.

LordSnuggles · Answer

They don't have to. Could hyphenate. But in my experience most women absolutely don't mind.

hahahmm · Answer

Yes. If she wants any of the traditional benefits of marriage she needs to show full commitment

QueenTanya · Answer

It's not mandatory and nobody should pressure her into it, but I know I'll be changing my last name.

KatherineJ · Answer

I chose to take my husbands name, but that’s a deeply personal decision that should be left to each woman.

standardguy · Answer

It is much more romantic to do so and for most men it's a proove of love if their brides take their names. So they accept that man and woman are one flesh.

bolverk · Answer

Upto those getting married to talk this out, but personally I do not see why any woman I marry should have to change her surname to mine, I'm looking for a partner not a chattel.

Rob171977 · Answer

It's up to her I mean she could always hypenate it too if she wants. I had a plan when I go to her state I use her last name mostly and if she comes here to this god forsaken shithole state I'm currently in she would use my last name

Izumiblu · Answer

She should do whatever she wants and with the consent of her partner

franziska · Answer

No, she can still keep her family name, as a second family name, the first surname stands before it.

Hamsteroids · Answer

No it’s a choice. A lot of women will hyphenate their names too

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Some women do, some don't. Depends on what they want to do.

madgoat · Answer

She ended up taking my name largely because it would simplify administration of the kids when we had them.

NyfikenSyd · Answer

The couple can do what feels best for them. We took each other's last name, so now we share a double name.

nir2102 · Answer

Nah!  I don't think so.. her last name is a part of her identity no..! A girl uses a last name from a birth to her marriage.. it becomes an identity for her! No need to change it !

slatyb · Answer

No, it's a PITA and there's little point. Wives are no longer the property of their husband.

Lemia · Answer

It's up to them although some couple combine their last names.

codycccccccccc · Answer

Nope they should have both died in a gaint explosion for attempting to preform a religious ceremony

Lightning8 · Answer

hmm... yeah I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. What are we even doing

Reaperbot666 · Answer

her choice if she wants to take her spouses last name or not. many these days opt to hyphenate.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

If she wishes to. I'd like to keep mine while adding my boyfriend's one day.

Mr_Kapstar · Answer

Personal preference. But I gotta admit, it is kind of romantic when the girl wants to take the guy's surname.

Should a woman change her last name after marriage?

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