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Why do you think so many men are losing interest in marriage while women are gaining interest in it? (Page 2)
Anonymous
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Most men view marriage as a state contract, and a bad deal overall. Why take the legal and financial risk if you don't have to? Most people today, are not religious. Marriage originated from a time when gender roles and religion were the mainstream, and the majority of people believed in both of them. We have advanced since that time, and if we are abandoning those ideals than why are people holding onto the idea of marriage? You can date, sleep with, live with, or settle down with whoever you want to. And you also have the freedom to leave at any time, due to cheating, abuse, etc. Why confine yourself to need a court to intervene in your personal love life? That's my business, not the government's. They take enough of my money through taxation as far as I'm concerned. Not only that, I don't need a piece of paper to make my love "legit" for someone. A piece of paper proves nothing.
Interesting results, seems women don't know men as well as they think.
As several others have said, the legal system is stacked so ridiculously against men marriage simply isn't worth it.
The results are interesting. It's one of those issues where men do actually get the short end of the stick and many women are ignorant of it.
Interesting, but I wonder if certain circumstances would make that different. You know like the "there's an exception to every rule" type of thing. It might just be a trend or fad, and fads come and go. For men not wanting to commit it could be financial related. There is always something called a "prenup" though, so I don't see why more people don't get one. Better to be safe than sorry.
I don't want to get married personally, I'm self sufficient and quite happy. Granted this is at the moment, maybe in a decade I'll change my mind. But my current circumstances are great and I don't want to change that.
Prenups have been thrown out in the past, there not nearly as reliable as they ought to be.
They need to work with the law better or something then. If some guy actually gets me to change my mind and we get married, you bet I'm getting a good prenup.
This is a bit sexist. I'm a woman and my boyfriend wants to have a family way more than I do. I don't plan on having kids now, for example, I want to work a lot and have a nice career and meanwhile he thinks now it's the time. You'll never know, people are different, it has nothing to do with being a woman or man.
It actually does have to do with being a man or a woman. It may be sexist, but it's fact. There are consistent trends which show that men and women do experience things differently. Your boyfriend may well be an exception (part of the 29%) but he appears to be in a minority.
There is no good reason to get married anyways. I have wife but we are not legally married. As far as the government is concerned we are single. As she says "We don't need a piece of paper [marriage certificate] to tell us we are in love and committed to each other." We've seen too many family member who are entering retirement get screwed over by medicaid or medi-cal or some form of assistance because they are married and maid or make too much money combined. We make plenty of money ourselves not to need and government help but down the road your never know. Also put our incomes together and we are in a higher tax bracket and would have to pay taxes at the end of the year.
Women have a biological clock and would like to raise a child in a nuclear family. While men don't feel the same..
As for marriage laws, they favor the spouse who make less money and stays home to raise the children and build a family.
Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
Thats not true. If that where the case men would never have wanted to get married. The article he presented pretty much said it all. Men are being forced out of marriage by laws that favor women (Its been shown that the courts are bias and not just do to making less money, only 3% of men get alimony despite 40% of house holds have the woman as the primary breadwinner) Women are also responsible for most divorces, in that they file more frequently then men (about 80%) the most sited reason being no fault. The fact is men can lose everything in this society and as the article pointed out we are essentialy shamed and ridiculed in most media. Its just not worth it.
@hellionthesage I think you are spot on.
@Drast Unfortuantley, but what can you do.
I see great minds at work here lol
I believe men are increasingly averse to commitment because of E and F. If you're not religious then there's really not much point in taking the risk.
I'm sure guys would love that sexual freedom for a time and settle down once they are satisfied but I think it's a sensible decision to try and experience that before settling down and having it rear it's head a few years or so into a marriage.
But that's not to say men are sleeping around. I think that whole idea is a little silly. If women don't want that but men do (generally speaking) then there simply aren't enough women around to make it possible to truly sleep around and to feel satisfied with their taste of sexual freedom before settling down. It honestly feels like a strange concept to me to imagine that *guys in general* would actually be able to successfully sleep around. Doesn't that sound like nonsense to anyone else?
... down rather than having it rear it's head*
It's simple. Just watch 2 & 1/2 men. You can end up like Alan - a life of indentured servitude to a woman that hates him and denies him sex, who he's financially obligated to for life, living under constant threat of legal actions against him from his X witch, doomed to poverty in old age - or you can end up like Charlie, playing the game of life and luv'n it.
Don't become another Alan. Be a Charlie. You'll thank me later.
Honestly, I don't want to get married. I'd rather go the same route as Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian, where they live together in the same household and have kids... but didn't waste money on a wedding. Here is why I don't want to get married:
-Weddings are a waste of money. People spend 1000s on engagement rings, weddings rings, planning the wedding and going through the entire wedding process. You don't need to get married to let someone know you love them. Besides, that money can be invested into a better cause... such as kids? Investing in a house? Just having extra money for emergencies?
-Marriage doesn't last. More people get divorced these days, and it seems like more people get married just to get divorced. It would highly upset me if I spent a lot of money on a wedding and then we just simply get divorced. Again... it has to do with money and where to best put it. I don't really think a wedding is a good investment.
Because these days woman are too easy and men are losing respect for woman so why would they marry somebody they don't respect?
Women are easy? I have achieved so much in my life but women is hands down my hardest thing. Considering some millionaires have pay for brides, I think that calculus, physics, financial and business degrees etc are far more easier than many women.
I'm not interested in marriage myself. So maybe they just don't see the point of marrying someone when they could just live with their so and have children without marriage? But then I don't know about the kids since I don't want children... lol
Marriage is a fools game.
I guarantee a lot of women want it because of the Facebook likes and all the attention they get leading up to it. It's no coincidence that if one girl gets married in a group of friends the rest shortly follow.
There's absolutely no real reason to get married these days. I'd like someone to give a real reason to other than tax benefits.
Are you sure?
loveloupe.jamesallen.com/study-shows-men-want-marriage-like-women-do
Where is the source? I have read multiple studies all of which point to men not wanting to marry, not one of them said otherwise.
lol, what kind of source is that, it looks like an unreliable online magazine
I've been married once and nothing but long term relationships after and can't seem find a good quality woman with strong morals as me. Might have to go to a foreign country lol
There are no real consequences that might be avoided with marriage. It's become more like a title if anything... and then there is the divorce gibberish which favors women. All in all a pointless endeavor.
I would say men are growing tired of courts favoring women and being blamed for everything so two of those things. I wouldn't say that they are liking to sleep around more in fact its the exact opposite of that.
I'm surprised by the results in general. I would really expect a similar response. I would expect less women in modern times to feel a necessity or the same importance on marriage as they did in the past.
PRENUPS, PEOPLE. Y'all need to learn the importance of them.
Apparently, they can just be thrown out if it conflicts with divorce law.
In theory, yes. But a lot of women get offended if a man asks for a prenup, and a large portion of the time, they are never enforced in court anyway.
@admles if she gets offended over a prenup then she's not worth marrying.
To be honest, that's how I feel.
They always say "a man asks for a prenup because he doesn't trust her / knows he's going to leave etc"
I say "if you don't plan on leaving me, then you won't have a problem signing a prenup".
I believe they should be mandatory, and fully enforceable.
@admles I agree. I see it as a plan B. You never know what will happen in the future. It's always good to take all options into consideration. Ideally you would never have to use the prenup. But it's still there just in case. Kind of like a fire extinguisher. Obviously you hope your house never catches on fire, you'd LIKE to believe that you're smart enough to not let any candles burn unsupervised or something like that, but you still have it just in case.
I don't think it's more than just a random fluctuation. What you should be looking at is that two thirds of young-adult people do not care about marriage. Arguing if this is healthy or not would be a better argument to have, in my opinion.
@iamyourneighbor No need to block me, i wasn't mad at all tbh. Anyway, you got my point, and indeed maybe i shouldn't have said 'fool'. Online things get misunderstood very easily.