One crush and I ended on such an emotional note in 6th grade when our parents ripped us away to attend separate HS. I loved that we had everything in common. And i loved his skinny muscular stature. But I saw him at a job interview recently and he's now a personal trainer on the side. I find his new body builder physique to be such a turn off.Man college was the best. In juco, I met James and David. Military dudes are not my cup of tea but these two were some of the most caring guys i ever met. I regret losing touch. I never saw either in a sexual way but i was definitely attracted to them overall. We were def “friends first” but it was clear both wanted to be more than that. It was a total love triangle and i couldn’t choose. But I respect that neither brought up our differences in race. If only more people interested in interracial dating did the same. But they don’t, so I’m pretty turned off to the idea these days.
I dreamt of James last night. And we were total goofballs while painting a house together. In school, it was always amazing to see James waiting in the hallway for me to arrive. He would literally jump up and say ITS ABOUT TIME YOU GET HERE GIRL! His hyper energy was such a breath of fresh air. He’d invite me and the fam to his military parades to see him march. I do miss him.
And then omg David, he would literally walk across campus and come get me out of class. Then he’d walk me to my next class or to my ride. He was so sweet but also super crazy lmao. I used to want to walk with Nate, Matt, and James sometimes but David would get possessive af. Its why i didn't try to keep in touch with him when he got he got deployed but i do kinda regret that. I hope both are alive and well.
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Yikes. Sorry for such a long answer, but the words just flowed out of me...
I had a HUGE crush on a girl who was in my click of friends when I was in high school. She was undoubtedly the prettiest girl I have ever known, but she was SO down to earth. She always had a smile and treated everyone with such kindness and respect, and was always so caring and genuine.
At the time though, I was fairly overweight and kind of shy, so I never felt like I was even close to being in her league. Besides, she was always in a relationship with one of our other friends, so I never had the chance... even if I had the courage to ask her out. Which I didn't. But I was always the jokester in our group. I loved (and still love) being a random goofball and making people laugh. I don't know why, but I always had a knack for making her laugh more than anyone else. Even to the point of her boyfriend being jealous of me. lol I just seemed to have a sense of humour that she found really funny - maybe in a way she'd never heard or been around before - and she always used to laugh and grab my arm or lean against me as I had her in stitches. lol
Her and I, and the rest of our friends lived in the same neighbourhood, but the school we went to was a couple neighbourhoods away, so we would take the public transit to school, and we would all take the subway and bus home and get off at the same stop. However, all of our friends lived west of the bus stop and they would walk that way, but only me and her lived east of the stop, so we would walk home together everyday. It was only about 3 blocks away until we parted ways (she lived a couple of streets away from me), but I always liked walking with her and spending some "alone time" with her. Sure, I had a huge crush on her, but I also liked those short times together just because she was my friend.
Sometimes we'd walk fast because we just wanted to get home, but other times we'd walk slow and just talk about whatever. Most of the time I would joke around with her, but those times alone kind of gave me butterflies sometimes too. 😊 It was sort of a Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson dynamic at times. lol But those are some of the times I remember most.
But how she really stole my heart wasn't just because of how stunningly beautiful she was or how she loved to laugh at my silly, random humour, or any of that. As I said, at the time I was relatively hefty and was bullied pretty bad in high school. But despite that, she always treated me like I was her best friend and was always so kind and genuine toward me. She was a true sweetheart in every sense of the word. Ultimately, she treated me like a human being during a time when most people in school didn't, and that meant the world to me. She made me feel like I was meaningful to her and that I was worth her time, and her genuine appreciation for me always came through. Which are just some of the reasons why I had such a massive crush on her. (more)...
... Anyway, after high school our group kind of just faded away and went our separate ways. Not for any reason, but it just happened and I eventually lost contact with her. About 7-8 years later, and through crazy circumstances, I met one of her oldest friends (little did I know at the time) who was going out with my brother's best friend at the time. We got to chatting and through our conversation we both found out we were friends with the girl I had a crush on (sorry, I don't want to use her name) and being that I hadn't heard anything about her in 7-8 years I naturally asked how she was! Well, sadly, she told me that after high school she kind of fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up getting into drugs pretty bad, and was in and out of rehab a couple times. When she told me that I was utterly heartbroken, because of how much of an amazing person she always was. I know her home life wasn't the best at times, but she never once showed any inclination toward progressing that way in all the time I knew her, so it all came as such a gut punch and I was so saddened about what had happened to her. (more)...
... Fast forward 15 years and one day I was thinking about her and reflecting on the good memories I have of her, and even though I typically don't do this, I decided to go online to see if I could find out anything about her and what happened to her. Well, to my relief I guess she got out of the bad lifestyle she was living at the time and eventually made something of herself. She eventually went to university and became a hospital administrator for the elderly care ward at our old neighbourhood's hospital! It brought me peace knowing that she hadn't slipped through the cracks and that she was okay.
That was a few years ago now and still to this day I keep telling myself I should go in to say hi to her. But it's been so long now that I wonder if she'd even recognize or remember me! lol More than anything though, I'd just like to chat and thank her for being there for me back in high school, and for treating me with dignity and genuine care when not a lot of people did back then. I always felt so grateful for her being my friend... maybe sometime after COVID I should drop by the hospital just to say "hi". ☺️
Definitely go and say something! Im considering approaching mine next year
@DizzyDesii Haha. Yeah, I really should. It just sucks I have to wait for the end of the pandemic to tell her... whenever that will be. But I'll just be telling her as a past friend. 😊
@DizzyDesii Thanks for the MHO! 😊