Wife and co-worker text sweet dreams every night... too flirty? Possible cheating?

She and her coworker constantly text each other short messages throughout the day. When they wake up they say good morning, when they go to bed she'll say "sleepy time" (that's MY saying to her), then good night and sweet dreams. Nearly every day.

I just discovered this on accident on her new phone, she knew I was playing with the old phone and has already deleted her entire text convo with him, so I can't go back more than a month. However, I know she's been giving him a ride to and from work once in a while. They've also stopped by the grocery store or gone out for an after work meal (she'll sometimes bring me something home).

I don't mind her having a close guy friend, but she never mentions me in her texts with him, but she does to her other close guy friend whom I know she has no interest in (because she calls him her little brother). Her texts are also sometimes flirty, like "let's go to sleep now" his response "in my bed?" her response "wink smiley". WTF... there's a couple more instances, like calling each other "love" once, and her also saying "I like you". When we were on vacation, she didn't even mention me when he asked what she was up to, she said "Came back from the hot tub, just got out of the shower." That is too much info in my opinion.

I am so upset that I don't even feel like talking to her, leaving the house. I'm not going to confront her but I will be watching closely for sure signs. But... am I reading too much into this?

Updates:
So far, it seems I am right to be suspicious. Should I confront her... or gather solid evidence for divorce first?
I parked down the street from his house to see if she would pick him up, but I was spotted. He texted her and she called me asking "what's going on?" I didn't admit anything, eventually she says "if you're trying to accuse me of something, I'm going to be really mad" "I have to deal with people at work accusing me because I gave him a ride to work sometimes, it's stupid and pissing me off" I just replied "... ok".

She doesn't seem to be trying very hard to defend herself, nor prove her feelings.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • yikes there is obvious boundaries being broken here , why is she telling him things like getting out of the shower that's crossing the line for sure.. You should confront her on the situation as soo as you can.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Her texts are also sometimes flirty, like "let's go to sleep now" his response "in my bed?" her response "wink smiley"."

    FUCK that. I'd be so damn pissed.
    She can go spend the night, and stay there. Don't bother coming back if your are gonna say shit like this. You are clearly better off not in a relationship.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm afraid to say that's it's clear something is going on here. Maybe not physically but it may be soon.

    You're married, my personal opinion is that you should work at marriages and should speak to her to try and work out what's going on, if she wants to be with you and how you can move forward without this issue... but you may just want to walk away and file for divorce. Either way something extra marital is going on here.

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    • I am so angry... and hurt... I shouldn't make any rash decisions right now. Thank you for your response.

    • I can imagine you are, I'm not sure how I would even approach the issue but if you love her then I think it's at least worth talking it through. At the very least it will give you a better understanding of what's happening and hopefully why. BitBut she needs to be honest with you. If she can't do that then I don't know how you could possibly try and fix things. She needs to be totally honest with herself and you.

  • sorry but there's definitely something going on here... confront her about it

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  • If she's not messing around... she will be

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  • You should talk to her about it and tell her you dont like it. It could mean a lot of things.

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What Guys Said 9

  • The texting itself isn't all that bad, but the carpool combined with it is VERY suspicious, even for me.

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    • His car broke down, so initially I wasn't suspicious. But now...

  • You have my most sincere sympathy, my friend. I don't think you need us to tell you what you already know yourself. All you can do is confront her. Best of luck.

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    • Thank you... I do need you guys to tell me, not sure who else I can talk about this right now...

  • I think you must get rid of that bitch "immediately"

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  • Yeah thats a bit fucking weird... She deleted the conversation? Yeah thats not sketchy at all.

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    • Yeah, she found out I was playing with her phone... and now conversation gone.

    • Yeah I dunno I like my buddies marriage, no opposite sex friends haha. It just leads to all sorts of this bullshit. Wow I somehow missed the last part where she's flirting hardcore.. Yeah dump this bitch rn.

    • He didn't respond to it... maybe it was deleted too...

  • Man up and bring it up, it sounds like they're up to no good. Waiting to "catch" them will probably only hurt more, tbh..

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  • Some of it seems like you over reacting some seems like she is legit cheating. I'm confused now just from reading this

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    • Which parts are which?

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    • I've met the guy once in a while, known him for 8 or 9 years as well as she has. He's scared and probably won't meet me now.

    • Haha careful cause it would potentially be 2-1 if they both say you are stalking or harassing. People often get mad or deflect when they are guilty though, its really hard to say, can you respond to my most recently asked question? I was wondering not sure if I am paranoid or what its relationship based and a women related thing also

  • She's cheating

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  • Got married huh?

    Sucks for you!!

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    • So true, women marry for money it seems and then just sleep around. Men marry to get sex on the regular or to have a family

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    • Only an idiot would get married in this day and age...

    • haha I don't think I will ever get married I don't see the point

  • You're not overthinking it mate!! And don't assume because he's the "little brother figure" now that he can't progress into a potential mate in the future.

    "In my bed" is flirty and direct! He's testing the waters. And she didn't outright shoot him down so he will continue to be this guy until you or her end it.

    I was once a guy friend, and had the same scenario as this! We got together in the end. Be careful.

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    • She talks about me to her "little brother"... but not this guy...

    • Its the Danger zone

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