A hot girlfriend but not a hot wife?

Guys always talk about having/wanting a hot girlfriend, but rarely, if ever, do I hear them talking about their hot wife. So, do men, once they marry their girlfriend, do they think their girlfriend becomes less attractive?

Or is it something else, perhaps a maturity factor, or something?

You guys seem to all be missing the point. I'm not talking about comparing her at 40 to her at 20, I'm talking about RIGHT after they marry, guys seem to think she's not hot anymore. I think it's impossible for an otherwise very pretty woman to let herself go overnight. So my question is: WHY do guy's opinion of their partner seem to change just because they put a ring on her finger?


Most Helpful Girl

  • There's the stigma of " women letting themselves go," once the ring is on her finger.

    And unfortunately... yea it happens. Aging is a given for either sexes, but I think a lot of women get comfortable with the idea of their man loving them as is, for better or worse - but if he fell in love with the skinny energetic bombshell you were...why would his preference suddenly change for the overweight boring person she is now?

    As shallow as it may seem - looks are still a part of a marriage; and your partner can lose interest in you rapidly. Hear it all the time about " how he doesn't look at me the same anymore..."

    I get child weight / birth, losing breast firmness due to children - and he will get that too, as he's not going to be the firm testosterone filled stud he was years ago -

    With that said, both should still be making some effort to stay looking good - whether it's hitting the gym or at least eating right. Getting new hair styles and upkeeping your beauty and such, is just apart of being together with a spouse.

    The women in my family aren't beauty queens, but we are a bit obsessive about still looking good even into aging. I mean, I want my husband to think I'm hot, I want to go out and public and have other men checking me out and have other women checking him out because we just look so damn good together. I think it sends a reminder that we both still have options, so it will make the love more viable since he still chooses me over all the other hot girls, and I choose him over all the other available hot men.

    I also want my children to grow up having that role model of still being fiercely in love and having that passion on all levels for your partner.

    I am aware that looks shouldn't be important - but whether you accept it or not, they are.

    • @update

      Just because of the stigma. Men have an inherent fear of commitment until their early 30's lol, so naturally they think she turns into a ranting prune after the wedding reception lol


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What Guys Said 3

  • Everyone becomes less attractive as they get older. Especially women since men seem to age more gracefully.

    • Women in my family age very well. But I'm talking more about the younger ones. The girls who marry at 24. Before they're married, their girlfriend is supper sexy, and then once they marry, their wife is still 24, and she's no longer hot, she's "the wife." Explain?

    • My wife will be hot so I can't speak for anyone else.

  • a lot of girls let themselves go after they get married...it happens too much to not to be true. once you get a guy/girl you get used to each other & lose some attraction...

  • i guess it's because while many guys do think their wife is hot, they simply don't announce it. I mean a girl or girlfriend is hot, but when guys think of "wife", it's like in our mind she's" the old ball and chain." You know she's still hot, but she's not that single, sexy, spontaneous mystery like before. Also all guys want a hot girlfriend. But usually the hotter a women (or man) is they less intelligent they are. I don't mean to stereotype. But the dumb cheerleader, and hot jock thing does still largely apply in the world. So when guys are looking for a loyal, hardworking, intelligent wife then don't always choose the hot girls, because they not usually very smart. So a wife is not always hot.


What Girls Said 4

  • this can go either way,if they marry a hot girl and that girl lets herself go than no,she won't loo hot,granted we all get older and beauty fades but as long as you don't let yourself go he will remain attracted,also just because a girl is hot doesn't mean she will be the right one

  • Hot is more sexual and less feelings based.guys call attractive women they don't know hot.they call women they care about beautiful

  • It's because people are not monogamous. We know we shouldn't do it and a lot of people stay with one person, but our instinct wants us to have sex with more than one person. This also counts for women. If a guy is married, he probably had his girl for quite a while and wants to f*** someone else (even if he doesn't actually do it). So if the girl becomes a wife, it's not new anymore and the guy starts thinking about other sex partners. It's the same if you have a long time relationship. not necessarily marriage.

  • Yes, they do. Everyone becomes less attractive as they get older -- not just women, as too many guys tend to think.

    Although, I do know some men who talk about having a hot wife. Staying in shape and also continuing to have a lot of sex has a lot to do with it.

    • I know they all age and get less attractive, but once they marry, they're still young. (24) and then they're suddenly unattractive?

    • Show All
    • I'm not married, and no where near it, so this is just hypothetical, but I just don't see how a ring on her finger suddenly makes her less attractive. I mean, she's his, isn't she? lol

    • Because he's not allowed to sleep with any other girls.