Accidently cheated on my boyfriend with his friend?

Question

I accidently cheated on my boyfriend with his friend. We were all at my house (my bf, me, his friend) because we were working on a school project together and my boyfriend had to leave early and left the two of us to finish the project. My boyfriends friend started being flirty and touching me and at first I thought he was just playing around but we ended up having sex. I haven't told my boyfriend yet because I don't want to ruin our 2 year relationship and It's already been 2 months this happened and he has no idea. I feel kind of bad though. I know I shouldn't feel bad because his friend came onto me and they aren't even that great of friends. I think they secretly hate each other. We are all 17 by the way. Should I feel guilty? It's been so long so there's no point in telling my bf right? I can see a real future with my bf so I don't think I should tell him about accidently cheating on him. He seems to really love me and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

"He who is without sin, cast the first stone," Jesus says in the bible. And of course who is perfect? I have been where you are, a cheating cheetah More so, who had a big fling for more than a year with a Coptic Christan from Egypt for a whole year, unbeknown to my husband out in Egypt until One day I had furiously spelled out" "I am fricking another man and we are in love!" I couldn't believe I had said it, however, what is done is done, as they say...
However, the affair had continued, and each and every time he forgave me, Loving Me unconditionally. But Not every man is like this, and even with my husband Now, he still throws it up in my face, calls me "No wife," and even tells me a lot lately how much he hates me. Typical man. Of course, who can blame him?
Another well known phrase I am sure you have heard too: Let sleeping dogs lie. If nothing has been brought up by Now, which you are lucky the One you played tootsies with: 'Aren't even that great of friends,' didn't just go and spill out his lungs to him out of spite, or even because he had wanted this One nite stand to Continue. And with this, count your lucky stars that it didn't go any further or cause a situation like: Between a rock and a hard place.
There's no need to bring up old skeletons, don't unlock any doors that need Not be unlocked, for if you would decide to let your 'Guilt' get the best of you, you may as well start giving yourself your own walking papers, closing the door of tomorrow behind you.
The bottom line is, he May not forgive you, and on top of That, he may even go to the source that started his stuff with you. You would be playing with fire, too close for comfort...
Move on from it, sweetie. Eventually, like many bad memories, they fade with time, with age... Just learn by your mistakes and let it be a lesson of one heck of A------Close call.
Good luck. xx

Marihorror · Accepted Answer

"I accidently cheated on my boyfriend with his friend."

... did you trip and land on his dick? Did you develop a rare eye disease that made you believe that you were screwing your boyfriend instead of his friend? No? Then it wasn't an accident. My God, if you're going to cheat at least be woman enough to own up to it.

" I haven't told my boyfriend yet because I don't want to ruin our 2 year relationship."

You ruined the relationship the minute you decided to hop on another guy's dick, so you might as well just fess up at this point. He'll find out eventually, especially if his "friend" secretly hates him. One day the two of them will get into and argument and what do you think will be the FIRST thing to slip out of him mouth? So yeah, if you want any chance of salvaging your relationship, it's better that it comes from you. Because if he ever hears this from anyone else, it's over.

" I know I shouldn't feel bad because his friend came onto me and they aren't even that great of friends."

YES YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD FEEL BAD. In fact, you should feel like a piece of shit. It doesn't matter who came onto who, the point is that you guys were together for TWO YEARS and you cheated on him. Two fucking years of your boyfriends life have been wasted with a girl who apparently thinks that fucking other guys is okay, as long as she isn't the one who initiates things. Wtf, how old are you? Twelve? The whole "he started it" argument stopped working years ago honey. Unless his friend raped you, you are 100% wrong and should feel disgusted with yourself.

chocolateraisins · Accepted Answer

"at first I thought he was just playing around but we ended up having sex"

yeah like little kids playing with each other will end up having sex. God, that image is horrifying.

"I haven't told my boyfriend yet because I don't want to ruin our 2 year relationship and It's already been 2 months this happened and he has no idea"

you kind of ruined the relationship the moment his penis entered you. And I'm so surprised he hasn't found this out.

"I feel kind of bad though. I know I shouldn't feel bad because his friend came onto me and they aren't even that great of friends. I think they secretly hate each other."

oh yeah, you feel "kin of bad." You're such a great girlfriend. Even if he came onto you, YOU had the decision to turn him down/reject him, which you DID NOT do. So just because they're not great friends, justifies that you get the right to cheat on your boyfriend. If you think they hate each other, you made the situation worse by doing the deed!

"Should I feel guilty? It's been so long so there's no point in telling my bf right?"

Ah, I see. So this justifies why you feel "kind of bad" huh?

"I can see a real future with my bf so I don't think I should tell him about accidently cheating on him."
There's no more future, Honey.

"He seems to really love me and I don't want to hurt his feelings."
You will hurt his feelings

smallerspecter · Accepted Answer

sorry but that's actually not an accident. like at all. did his dick just accidentally fall into you, and so you both just kinda accidently had sex? no. i don't mean to be rude but... honestly. i think any good relationship requires - not 'could be good with or without' but REQUIRES - honesty and trust from both people. so you need to tell him no matter what, because it's selfish of you to keep something like that from him. if he forgives you, THEN you know you two have a 'real future' together. but as of now, since you've (non-accidentally) cheated on him and not told him, it's not a very good relationship. also, you don't get to be all "i don't have to feel bad because his friend came onto me, lol". if it was consensual (ie, you gave him the go ahead and it wasn't actually rape or something), then you're both to blame.
please tell your boyfriend and please stop acting like a victim, or at least like someone who's done nothing wrong.

QueenB1203 · Accepted Answer

Well, we are here to judge.. The site itself asks, "What's Your Opinion?" So you can't accidentally cheat on someone. I think you should tell him. I mean you'd be a bitch to not tell him. Thats like saying I accidentally sucked his dick. I accidentally let him put his penis in my vagina. https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/I8t5Gra.gif
smh.

Red_Arrow · Accepted Answer

The guy flirted and came onto you. People do that. People that love someone else do not let them and certainly do not fuck them. He invited action and you accepted. That is NOT and accident. The word "accident" does not belong in this issue at all. Toss that word out. You chose to have sex with his "friend",

You say that you do not want to ruin your 2 year relationship. If that were true, you would not have had sex with this guy, so forget telling us that story.

" I feel kind of bad though." Just "kind of"? You don't have much of a conscience, and don't care much for your "boyfriend".

" I know I shouldn't feel bad because his friend came onto me " YOU responded. YOU agreed to do the deed. And the guy was not jacking off, YOU were having consensual sex with him. If you don't feel bad, then you don't care for your boyfriend and don't feel any obligation to do the right things.

"Should I feel guilty?" You asked that. It requires a judgment. But then when people answer, you say "If you're just going to judge me don't bother answering"

All the scorching remarks have it pretty good. You didn't listen to them so I shall not repeat the obvious conclusion about your character. If you want answers, listen to them. If you don't want answers, then don't ask!

Sinister · Accepted Answer

2months ago? Then you rationalize it with "they aren't even that great friends", so yeah he came on to you but you could have easily said something, like oh I don't know no, stop and don't ! Feel guilty? Fuck yeah you should tell him like freaking 2months ago. There's a point in telling him because you are lying to him and to yourself, disrespected him because you can't be honest with him from the start and have let time drag on. Who's to say the friend hasn't been running his mouth about what he's done making your bf look like damn fool without knowing what's actually going on. Just tell him and come clean, but I seriously hope he dumps you're lying and disrespectful self..

LaikaFreefall · Answer

I'm glad you can admit you made a mistake. That's some... Also, maybe don't refer to it as "accidentally cheating." If it's cheating, it's never by accident. Did you choose to have sex with this guy? Then it was on purpose.
Look, the sex drive is perhaps our most powerful instinct. Sometimes we give into to it. I understand and I don't judge you for that. (Not too harshly, anyway.) But every day that goes by that you don't tell your boyfriend is an insult to him. If you have any respect for him at all, you have to tell him.

If he dumps you, it'll be because you made a HUGE mistake and maybe you'll be able to learn from that. And if he stays with you, then you know you guys have something special, that maybe you two can actually work out long term. Because you can get through just about anything, if you can get through this.

If he's a good guy, he deserves to know. Don't toy with him and treat him like he's nothing, because I am confidant you don't think of him like he's nothing. You love him, right? Then fucking prove it! Don't be selfish. He deserves to know. Building a life with someone is a choice. He deserves to know what he's choosing. And if he doesn't know, can he ever really choose it at all?

JustinCaseUDontKnow · Answer

Yes, you should feel guilty for not being able to control
your hormones but your young i think you really need wait to
your old enough to have a relationship least do that but this
is common enough say your not mature enough to be around
guys maybe for friends but that's about all no such thing as
accidentally cheating you were horny so things went wrong
you had sex with the guy I'm sure this will follow you as long
you continue to walk the same path in life it will go with you
into your adult life and into college life well the only thing I
can say is apologize to your boyfriend/ his friend or leave
them both alone and move on with life make new friends

7heDubz · Answer

He should most definitely be told.
Don't fool yourself into thinking "I've gotten away with it, the less he knows the better" think about how bad you feel about it now, after two weeks. If you see a real future with this person and you two do end up staying together do you want to live with that guilt for the next few years?

He should be told and be allowed to make his own decision on what he wants to do. In the end you cannot blame him for any decision he makes.

Also, I feel it should be noted that it is as much your fault that you had sex with his friend that it is his. And while your mind came up with a few reasons why it isn't your fault and that it's okay because their not good friends etc ect. that has nothing to do with it and is still just as bad.

If I cheated on my girlfriend is it okay because it was with a random stranger? No. no it isn't.

FlatteredGirl · Answer

Come on there's nothing such as "Accidentally cheated" ok? You don't "accidentally" have sex with someone. His penis didn't "accidentally" go into your vagina. You know they are friends, why the fuck are you doing this?

Yes, you made a mistake, and it's INTENTIONALLY, not "accidentally" like you said. My thought on this is if you don't tell him, chances are his friend will tell him. So you pick.

PANDAmonium · Answer

You made a conscious decision to cheat. Own up to it. If you can see a future with him dont you think he deserves to know what happened?

MissMarvelous · Answer

This is bad. Sorry for the bluntness, but you practically blew it. You have two options.
1. You don't tell him and continue your relationship, but he will find out from his friend (guys talk.. especially 17 y/o) and it'll be over do good.
2. You do tell him, and he'll be extremely pissed, but based on your relationship it could maybe work out.(Good chance it won't, but it could) Let him know that either he forgives you or not you understand him... and REALLY see his point of view. Either way, he will be hurt.
You didn't sleep with a random guy, or your best friend, but his FRENEMY. They're kinda rivals, so they probably compete on things, and the fact that you had sex with him, is a HUGE destroyer to his ego. If you tell him, maybe in time, he can trust you again, but never fully. If you don't, then it'll be bell when he finds out.
If it doesn't work, then lesson learned for the next guy. No one is perfect.

front2back · Answer

"Accidentally cheated"

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

its your life, do what you gotta do, you already read the main opinions of the people on this post. just remember though.. and im not saying this to be rude.. karma is a bitch.

chocolatedragon · Answer

Clearly your bf is not the guy for you if you gave in that easily to temptation. Some part of you is not satisfied with the relationship if you gave in to the friend's flirts that easily. You need to be single for a while to get your head clear. There's no need to keep a relationship alive with lies. The longer you wait, the more he'll be upset and he will definitely believe that it happened one more time. Chances are he may get even upset enough to bitch slap you. In any case, I don't see the point in staying with a man that you're not fully compatible with.

Creole_Flavor · Answer

How did you accidentally cheat? Did you trip and fall on his dick or did he trip and fall into your pussy. You feel guilty now but don't call it an accident a mistake maybe but you know what you were doing when you were doing it and I absolutely hate when people like you say not to judge. When you give us information we form our opinions based on that. WTF do people think this site is really for? Honestly lol

Tractorbeam · Answer

No-one ever accidentally cheats. That would be like accidentally murdering someone, because you were encouraged to do it. It's time to take responsibility for actions.
Tell your boyfriend that he can't trust you, and never will be able to. Then let him decide if he still wants to spend time with you.

inamorata · Answer

First you're a kid. Your couple future by that token alone looks bleak.
Second you aren't really in love with him. If you were you wouldn't have cheated.
Third if they do hate each other, any small fall out between these two guys is enough for the word to get out about what you did. If not that, the guy might just brag because he won't care about either one of you, or your relationship. This is a ticking time bomb anyway.

Break up now and don't tell him. It will hurt your reputation and chances to get into a decent relationship once you actually sprout a brain in your twenties.

H2OMan · Answer

A) if he didn't rape you, then yes you should feel guilty. Because that means that you gave him the ok to have sex with you.
B) yes you should tell your boyfriend, flip the situation, would you want to know if he cheated on you?
C) if he truly loves you he will be hurt but if you make sure to up front say I fucked up, I am so sorry, I am telling you that I did this because I love you, I don't want to hide things from you, and I want your forgiveness then he will still love you. DONT PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN YOU TELL HIM. Tell him that YOU did this don't say, your friend had sex with me, say I had sex with your friend, and it was wrong. If you play the victim he will be mad and probably leave you.

DodgersGM · Answer

You can't post a question like this without people discussing your "accidental cheating". I mean, it's an opinion site, and people are gonna have pretty strong opinions about your characterization of the cheating.

I think you should tell your boyfriend what happened, and I think you need to claim total responsibility for your actions. Calling it an accident when you tell him about it would just be more of a slap to the face.

Anonymous · Answer

Oops! Your penis accidentally slipped into my accidentally unclothed vagina... again and again. And wouldn't you know it, we accidentally kept going until one (or both, if you made it worth the accident) of us accidentally got off.

^That's the dangers of wearing roller skates in the house after you just cleaned the place with butter, I suppose...

nerdyasianman14 · Answer

How can that be an accident when you let the man fucking you until you both are satisfied? YOU ARE FUCKED UP!

Kshppatel · Answer

This makes me very very angry. I'm trying my best not to put you on fucking blast right now. You don't seem to understand the seriousness of this. You should do your bf a favor and break up with him. He deserves much better than you. How selfish are you that you cheat on him and even after doing so you selfishly think of only yourself when making the decision to not tell him for two months? You don't care about his future you only care about yours. Do you not even feel remorse? You say you don't want to hurt his feelings. Well you certainly didn't want to hurt his feelings when you "accidentally" cheated on him did you? Stop making the excuse that you made a mistake. You didn't care about him while you were cheating and you don't care about him now. This makes me sick because I've been in your boyfriends shoes. I've been cheated on and maybe if a guy cheats on your that you really love maybe then you will really ze how shitty of a feeling it is. Rant over.

TrueCountryGal · Answer

No such thing as ''accidentally'' cheating on someone... Having said that, your boyfriend deserves to know the truth. Its better that it comes from you than from someone else. He will probably be hurt, but if you guys are meant to be together you can work through it together.
I always put myself in the other person's shoes. If your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend, wouldn't you want to know the truth? Don't you deserve to know the truth?
You can choose not to tell him, but that is the kind of thing that will haunt you for the rest of your life. You will always be worried about whether or not he ever found out. And who knows, maybe he already knows and is just waiting for you to bring it up... Either way, I think he deserves to know the truth. I know I would want to

cantsaylol · Answer

I don't get how that was accidental but honestly, someone's going to get hurt , and I think its better u to tell him than for him to find out from someone else. Ure not alone, others make mistakes too. But this relationship is pretty done, there will be trust issues later and u may do it again. Cheating is a form of habit and cheaters love that rush of forbidden love.. Either way I was saying u should tell him.. Because if u care for him u would want him to know and if he can forgive.. U guys will probably give it another try.. But the trust issue will come out again later during an argument

flakosky · Answer

Hahahaha! Basically you Are saying that you guys were studying and somehow you fell onto his dick? Hahaha. there's no accidental cheating. Put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes. Would you forgive him or think it was ok if he accidentally had sex with your friend? Im not judging you but I have been there and im telling you right now your relationship is gonna get real bad because now that you did this would you ever let him be alone with a girl? Or even your friend? If you say no to that is because you Know the same thing could happen to him, if you said no then you really dont care about him. You should tell him and if he forgives you then you are lucky.

Accidently cheated on my boyfriend with his friend?

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