If a guy browse and save photos of sexy, pretty girls is this still normal or does it mean anything?

Question

I know its very common for guys/men browsing through pages, websites or photos of sexy women/ladies/girls, but what I don't get is downloading and saving those stuff.. For what? My boyfriend does this.. And what upsets me most is that there are photos of my friends too! I understand him watching those kind of pics (most men do this) but is there any explanation why SAVES it too, in his phone? And my friends'? he's actually hiding these stuffs, but I figured out the pw of the files and found those.. Guys, does this mean anything?

My boyfriend and I are OK. I know how much he loves me and told me once he's only up to looking at those, nothing else bec I'm the only one he loves, but what about with my friends photos? Its kinda disturbing. I mean we meet with them once in a while.. Urggh, help clear out my mind and doubts.

VoiceOfReason · Accepted Answer

I really believe he may have some form of addiction to p*rn. The fact that he even downloads pictures of friends to his phone definitely indicates he has a distortion between what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. Not to mention he seems to feel that its harmless, even if it clearly makes you feel uncomfortable with his behavior.

In terms of it being natural for guys to download images of beautiful women to their hard drive, I can say that it is, to a certain extent. While guys are visual and love beautiful women, I am confident saying that most don't download and save it to their phones. I think guys who do tend to go beyond what the average guy would do. Clearly it shows blatant disrespect to you as well as your friends. Also, it raises issues regarding trust. Its evident he's crossing a line here and you're uncertain if that will remain the boundary or if he will cross other boundaries as well.

Its possible that it all ties into fantasies he may have involving the women in these images, which is probably the likely reason why he includes pictures of your friend as well. While he does profess to love you, still he may be fantasizing about being with others, possibly with or without you.

It would be in your best interest to talk to him and tell him that you find this awkward and above all, disturbing and that your not comfortable with him behaving in such a manner. Not to say it will ever escalate, but the potential is obviously there. It would be more beneficial to try and influence him to disassociate from such behavior now before he does escalate and possibly act on it, which could prove detrimental to your relationship.

He's clearly crossing a line here (in regard to trust and respect) and you really need to convey your feelings about the issue to him. If he truly loves and respects you, then I'm sure he would make an effort to try and refrain from such behavior. If his behavior is at such a state where he feels he can't change or justifies why he shouldn't, then you may want to consider ending the relationship.

katylaura · Accepted Answer

having photos of actresses or whatever saved to his phone seems pretty normal (I know a lot of girls who have photos of guys on their phone as like backgrounds and stuff too, so it's not uncommon for either gender) BUT having photos of your friends completely crosses this line. There's no way of knowing whether this means he's hiding something, but regardless it's still very, very odd. Have you asked him why he has them?

Also, why were you searching through this password protected phone? I know you found something that has worried you, but it's a massive invasion of privacy - how would you feel if you caught him going through your things without permission?

gldilox · Accepted Answer

How do you get him to disassociate? This has been going on since before we started dating. I didn't know if I had found out sooner I probably never would have continued the relationship. He would save hundreds even thousands of photos of his female friends, their friends, my friends, our friends... I'm not kidding when I say hundreds! He once told me he watches  p*rn  while driving home from work or saves pictures. I had an awful bout of insecurity due to this. I felt like I was ugly undesirable. He never wanted to have sex. So I didn't get his behavior. First off his female friends? Close ones? How am I supposed to be ok with their friendship? They know what he does because he reached out to them when we're fighting. They started fueling it be sending provocative photos. Of course I'm a jealous controlling psycho! I'd love for their boyfriends to have hoecakes sending them pics... Anyway... we tried counselling the minute  p*rn  addiction came up he never wanted to go again. He accused me of being a feminist and trying to demasculate him. Truth is that I want to help him. He's going to be so desensitized and empty in relationships. What do I do? How can I help him?

heavenonearth · Accepted Answer

Pictures of random girls and stuff is fine and normal, but I'd have an issue with it if he's getting off to pictures of my friends. That's pretty disrespectful, and I really doubt he'd be cool with you downloading pictures of his friends and doing the same. Talk to him about it if you have an issue with it. We all have to decide where our boundaries are and stick to them.

angrychick · Accepted Answer

Yea, having photos of your friends part is just not right...

martyfellow · Answer

Sigh. It's 'normal' in the sense it's a widespread practice..but it certainly means these guys have no respect for women, and hiding it from you is of course totally dishonest.

It's also not abnormal to have fantasies about your friends, but it's disrespectful to keep them on his phone where you will see them, and it would make me uncomfortable around my friends knew my girlfriend was saving pictures of my guy friends, that's for sure.

Saving their photos is disrespectful of them, but more disrespectful of you, imao.

And regardless of whose photos they are, keeping them on your phone is a little perverted, in my view.

6Paul11 · Answer

If it was just a little jack material, I wouldn't worry. Photos of your friends is a little creepy.

I never criticize my female friends or girlfriends for having photos of buff guys with their shirts off. They objectify us just as often as we objectify them.

Any girl would be naive to think that their boyfriend never jerks off to sexy photos of other women. The fact that it is of your friends is what should matter.

You should take a look at the situation and the relationship. Ask him why he is saving these photos. It could be totally innocent and you just don't know. No need to jump to conclusions. If it is indeed to masturbate, ask yourself if his sexual needs are being met. If he isn't happy with his sex life, that could be a factor.

Mrcdinis · Answer

that's freaky... really really freaky...

On a psychological way, that can be a sign for so many awful things, but it can mean nothing at all as well... That's the kind of guy that girls don't want to mess with online, at any type of circumstances and that "love" thing, it can be true, but with those you have plenty of reasons to be afraid of that guy...

You can test and talk to him, but his reaction might not be good at all. On my perspective, you should go to a psychiatrist (not a psychologist), explain that situation to him/her and answer some questions in order to get your answers.

You could talk to him about it, without pointing out something crazy and ask him nicely (assuming you are together for quite some time, he would answer it with no worries. If you're together less than ~5months now, than that's just a new barrier to brake and it's normal that he wants to hide it)

Joedog · Answer

Naked girls are naked girls - friends or your sister - if they are ready to pose naked then they are there to be viewed.

However, only if they are worth looking at!

And if they are worth looking at, then they are worth saving for quick viewing whenever we feel like it!

And whatever we have seen, there are many guys who have not seen, so its nice to share with them.

The best is having a file load to select from to send to the jesus people who keep sending me 'reform or repent' type messages!

Rensin · Answer

Listen, I do some what the same as him. For me it's about finding beauty. When I see a woman that makes me think, wow! It's a feeling of respecting her beauty. I feel I want to find out her likes and her dislikes, I want to know this person. That's what it's about for me. It's in no way shape or form masterbation material. There have been many times where i think to myself. "Wow, she is definitely the type of girl i want to get to know." I'm a cuddle bug, what can i say. I giant 6' 5" 230lbs cuddle bug.

Anonymous · Answer

I prefer to stay anonymouse now... I had a p*rn addiction before, still not really done with it, but much better now.

I collected thousands of pictures, videos, etc. but I think, I never really had a look at it ever again. It's something like an urge to collect those things in order to not lose it - while you actually never make use of it again. Maybe it's similar to those collecting every "piece of memory" or so...

It's not replacing you in any way, don't worry, but I'd suggest him to think through what he wants to do with the pics... He will anyway (most probably at least) never have a look at it again...

Anonymous · Answer

I don't do this, just because I don't feel to need to save stuff. It's not like the internet is going away tomorrow.

However, I know this is quite common, just like collecting magazines or or p*rn or something.

I mean, I've known guys to even keep saved sex tapes of old GF's. I don't think it has anything to do with them having any sort of emotional involvement still, its just like any other p*rn and sometimes the added taboo of it including someone you know can make it hotter for some people.

I would think much of it, especially if things are fine in your relationship.

At the end of the day, its all just masturbation material.

LightUp · Answer

It is very disturbing . When a guy has a girlfriend he loves he won't check up on other women no matter how hot they are. But your one does. That leads me to think doesn't care about and that he is just using you to show off. Like a Trophy while he conducts his creepy and perverted business of watching other women.

pianoman · Answer

For me I'll browse pictures of attractive girls on the internet and if I come across one that I think is extraordinarily beautiful I will save it for the purpose of showing to my friends later. Its kind of weird that he does this with your friends though. maybe he just want to show them to his friends though.

no_bs · Answer

Does it mean anything? Yes, it means he's sexually attracted to your friends.

Does it mean he will leave you, or cheat on you with those girls? Probably not. Those photos are there for purely, er, instinctual reasons.

There is an important clarification you need to make: are these NAKED photos of your friends, or just regular ones?

Anonymous · Answer

Watch what you go looking for in a man's private things. You might not like what you find, and the assumptions you make might be wrong.

Being attracted to other women (probably during his "happy time") doesn't mean he's not faithful or that you're not the most attractive to him.

They're just an aid to get the job done. Think of them as visual stimuli, and nothing more. Looking at p*rn or women's pics help make a job that might normally take 20 minutes a 4 minute quickie, that's all. hehe

Anonymous · Answer

Ugh. I would never do that. That's wrong.

If you're not fine with it, then you need to be assertive and clear about your feelings. If you feel disturbed, tell him you feel disturbed. Say it in a tactful and careful manner.

He's dating you, not them. The fact that they're your friends should make you suspicious. If he's attracted to them, then that could be a sign of deeper cheating. I would consider this cheating.

akadatank44 · Answer

Don't listen to these guys most dudes don't do that. Its really weird that he saves them and some are your friends. Like wtf dude. Definitely a weirdo because he hides it that means he probably gets off of it when your not around. Dump his ass your better of without him.

Anonymous · Answer

The reason to save it is because sometimes you see something you really like, but it's difficult to find it again later. Or, a website will delete them, and you can never see it again. That sucks... He's probably using it to masturbate. It's the same thing as buying a magazine like Playboy and keeping the magazine. Those are just saved pictures, but they are hard copies, instead of on the computer.

The bad part is that he saves pictures of your friends... That's not nice.

Anonymous · Answer

its normal for guys to look at pictures of sexy girls on the internet , I've looked at a lot myself and have some saved on the computer , not p*rn stuff but a lot of bikini shots and such . I don't think there is anything wrong with looking at girls online the female body can be very beautiful and no reason for them to hide it if they got a great body , let the world see what they have I figure

Lustfull · Answer

Its normal. Some guys like viewing girls like "collectible cards" . It doesn't mean his a sex addict or anything like that. Its just something he wants to keep. Just tell him how you feel about it . If he stops, which  I'm sure he will, it will mean that he respects you,but you should just let him, its better than him cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

I think saving them onto computer of girls/women/ladies that are like models or from Tumblr archives are normal. But saving pictures of girls they know of is down right creepy. Saving them onto his phone is even creepier. But guys with girlfriends tend to not save pictures of good looking women/ladies/girls though. It happens, but it's usually no big deal. In your boyfriend's case, it's not good.

Stingraey · Answer

Yea that's really weird if he's doing it of your friends too. Your Boyfriend is a friggen creeper. I never save photos on my comp or phone of any girls but my girlfriend so I think saving of any kind is a little weird.

Anonymous · Answer

He saved their pictures and named the files after them, and he's studying the pictures so he will remember their names. It would be awkward for your friends to remember his name but he doesn't remember theirs, right?

It's a common method among guys when they have a girlfriend, because he only focuses on you and forgets every other girl.

nzgirl96 · Answer

I'm with you on this one, my partner does the same he has photos of his ex, photos of my friends as well it is disturbing and I don't know how to approach him or even bring it up in a conversation with him. I'm not pretty or skinny and this is why my insecurities come into play.

If a guy browse and save photos of sexy, pretty girls is this still normal or does it mean anything?

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