Why romance movies give you false hopes of realistic situations

[Simple_Girl606]

So don't get me wrong I love romantic movies as much as any other typical teenage girl does, but I believe they set false hopes in people like me. How do the characters pick the one that is completely right for them by chance? Do chance encounters that ultimately find the love of your life really happen? And if they do how does one really decide the random person that accidentally stole your taxi is the elusive "one".

Why is every romantic movie completely perfect? Life is messy and way more complicated than the whole "they fall in love, one of them mess up, they get mad at eachother and than ultimately decide they can't fathom life without eachother". As human beings most of us just stay out of eachothers way, we don't fight over a taxi and then both decide to get out. We don't happen to bump into the same jerk that did so either. And if we do, we pretend that encounter did not happen.

Romantic comedies are without a doubt my favorite movies but its not real life, and maybe thats why so many of us decide to live out our lives watching others' lives play out across the screens of our TVS in our dimly lit rooms, munching on our favorite snacks and crying when the characters are upset with each other.

This unfortunately is not real life and things don't play out this way, humans are stubborn even if you aren't odds are the other is. We don't go through the troubles for strangers, we play it safe, we stick to what we know. Hopeless romantics like myself waste their whole lives waiting for chance encounters with a suave and genuinely decent guy or girl only to get our hearts broken because life isn't a fairytale we aren't the Princes and Princesses that we read about or watch shows about. We are all human beings with our own agendas, people who worry about work and family, people who try not to cause anymore problems than we already have.

Romantic movies just make you think that the perfect person for you is out there looking for you too, and honestly I don't think they are. Truth is people are not perfect, they don't have the same plans as you and rarely will have them. The most we can wish for is someone who will care enough to try and mend their plans with yours to help you obtain your goals and also have you help them obtain their goals.

As much as I personally wish my prince would come sweep me off my feet and love me for all my flaws for what they are, odds are it isn't going to happen. I have personally messed up several relationships because I wasn't anything but content. I was waiting for a perfect romantic comedy guy to make me laugh and be my perfect soulmate. So yeah, romantic comedies did kind of mess up my judgement on perfectly fine relationships, but as much as I rant on about how those movies aren't real and don't really happen people like me can't help but to hope and continue to mess the relationships up that don't meet that standard.

And NO you can't really blame all of your failed relationships on the whole false hopes from romantic comedies but can you really blame us? Movies have been filling our heads with false ideas and thoughts of the perfect endings for over 83 years, the first romantic comedy being 1932's "Trouble in Paradise". So none of us can really help but want anything less than perfection in our romantic endeavors, can we really help it if we spent our entire lives dreaming about it while watching our all time favorite movies.

[hellionthesage]

They are designed to be porn for women. If you'll notice all the men act exactly the same in all romantic movies. They are designed to trigger all the emotional urges women want. They pamper her protect her obsess over her as if no other human being existed which of course is not even close to real life. Those men are not actually even people, just like people in porn are reduced down to nothing but their sexuality so to in romantic movies is the man reduced down to a female fantasy, he has no goal or dream beyond her (he is a willing slave essentially or object.). If you look most of those behaviors are considered creepy in real life (twilight for instance where an older man is trying to seduce an underage girl and is constantly stalking her and sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, its creepy) its "romantic" in a romance movie because the viewer is aware that despite all of this behavior the individual is harmless. Basicly it sets unrealistic expectations because it doesn't acknowledge that the man is a person, that he will also have wants and desires and it doesn't acknowledge that those may not always correspond to what the woman wants and desires. It refuses to acknowledge that relationships are work, they require selflessness on both sides and communications and even then their will be issues that arise that need to be worked through. Romance movies only show you all the positives (in a hyper unrealistic way) and none of the bad, none of the work that goes into it. @heavensgift2girls link pretty much says it all.

[TheDevilInside]

These Kind of movies well dreams and nothing else. Stupid are those who believe that that is what real life is.

That's why i never watch romantic movies. They make me puke. Lemme tell you, there would be snow on africa before any of the sweet things the guys do in romantic movies happen in real life.

[DBAOracle]

There actually was snow in Africa maybe 2 years ago or something... take a look,

https://www[DOT]youtube[DOT]com/watch? v=NtLTjqrWGV8

[Roostah]

Why romance movies give guys and girls unrealistic expectations.

1. It tells young men that the nice guy gets the girl in the end, and she will eventually come around to appreciate you and date you.

2. It tells young girls they can all snag and fuck top tier males and if things don't work out their will be a nice guy at the end of the tunnel waiting to pick the pieces. Oh and that they should all strive for TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME men.

If you guys want a real movies on romance there was one from the 80's that beats any romantic comedy to date made by hollowood. Look up "THE LAST American VIRGIN"

i.jeded.com/i/the-last-american-virgin.12059.jpg

[Anpu23]

Margret Atwood spoke about one of the problems of modern relationships is that girls get their understanding of romance from romance novels and boys from porn so while she is expecting him to get down on one knee with a ring he's expecting her to get down on all fours with a ring in her nose. Both paint an unrealistic vision and both create a disconnect between sexes. There's nothing wrong with fantasy as long as you understand that it's fantasy, it's when you come to expect that in real life is when you get disappointed.

[ChocEyes]

Yes, but it's kinda like watching movies from other genres. When you watch a Jackie Chan movie, you don't really believe you can win a fight with 10+ people with all those fancy spinning triple jumps. But you watch it for the fun.

When you watch 007, you don't believe that someone can avoid being hit by 30+ bad guys shooting at you with AK-47s and then hit them all with a Walker PPK or a Glock. But you watch it for the fun.

When you watch The Gladiator you don't really expect to see a precise historical reconstitution of Roman costumes and ways, you watch it because it's a good story.

So why it should be different with romantic comedies? :) I think it becomes a problem when people start confusing reality with fantasy. This is really some sort of psychological issue. Just like if a kid watches superman and then tries to jump from a window to fly.

[Anonymous]

Ohhh good ol' female mental fantasy and it's constant pushing of false and unobtainable ideas on to males, just like women complain porn does for them when their guy is watching male visual fantasy.

Fantasy is fantasy and men who watch porn know that what they see is fantasy and we do NOT compare women in porn to our partners, sadly this isn't true for women when they watch female fantasy, because women compare themselves to other women and with fantasy inject themselves into the role of the character, they put this unreachable idea on their partner and it essentially damages relationships... yet this crap is not ever given the hate it deserves and men are expected and forced to watch the crap with their partner so she can sit and tell him to his face how he SHOULD act, or how he NEEDS to be more like. Imagine a male doing that to a female... it would be considered abuse.

[heavensgift2girls]

I agree. They typically tell people what they want to hear, instead of hearing the sometimes unpleasant truths. Real relationships take hard work and sacrifice, and are not about being swept off your feet. I really liked this video I saw where they poke fun about how bad romantic comedies are for people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMsp9O0E_jE

[Phoenix98]

While you do have a point, the movies themselves aren't actually wrong in their scenarios that such things could happen, the odds of them happening are just low and or pure chance or coincidence. You or other people say such things can't possible happen in real life yet I'm here because such things happened and that's how my own parents got together *shrugs*.

[Kerbie]

Intresting take , I have seen a few of the films in your picture I love actually I have on dvd because am a big fan of Kiera knightely and made of honor as I am big fan of Patrick Dempsey who is an awesome race team owner and driver both films are quite funny , but I agree with you.

[gray_sailor]

The bst romantic movie I can remember seeing was "Frankie & Johnny". It featured two deeply flawed characters that came to love each other in spite of their flaws. Highly recommended.
www.gstatic.com/.../p13529_p_v7_aa.jpg
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0101912/

[NatashaJ]

I feel like Romance movies are people wishes that came true. I would so love for once a guy realizes he loves me for me and he came back to tell me that and he does sometimes to make me want to forgive him and he is the one. But most guys are not to Romantic movie standards at all.

[Prilee1992]

Romantic movies are destined to brainwash guys to be superb nice guy, putting girls on pedestal, standing flowers to please her, waiting standing outside the rain because he wants her to change her mind. FUCK THESE NOISE

[SuomiSam]

Because it is a Movie! and you are supposed to see the difference and understand that reality is different by yourself.
Movies are for fun, its not news, not even propaganda its just a cute fairytale. Please dont expect something realistic from fantasy, are you for real?

[Simple_Girl606]

Tell me this then. Why is it that all your life people say anything is possible. For people who actually believe that, that also means that movies like these are possible. Sure they're fake and sure it didn't really happen but movies like these are supposed to make you believe that it COULD happen.

[SuomiSam]

If you believe that it can happen and you are willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want, where is the problem? the result depends on you and not on some movie final.
You can make it better or worst than a movie, but dont take a movie as some guide for life.

[heavensgift2girls]

We are living in a post feminist time, where the rules of courtship have changed a lot, in a very short amount of time. In fact people can't even agree on what the new rules should be. There are plenty of women that will get angry if she offers to pay for the date and the guy lets her, and other women that get angry if the man insists on paying for everything himself. These types of issues confuse a lot of younger people as to how they should act or what they should expect.

Throw in all the bad and often conflicting advice young people get about interacting with the opposite sex, and it shouldn't be any surprise people would turn to the media for inspiration. So I really do think a lot of this shows have a stronger influence than they should.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why so many people are getting tripped up by the whole romantic movies don't represent truth kinda thing. They're movies not documentaries. Which means they're written to be far more perfect and sensational than normal life. That's what makes them movies. That's what makes people want to watch them. So I mean... Yeah, of course they don't depict real life. They were never suppose to...

[Calex]

What if some people life in a war movie guideline? What if some live in an anime guideline? People like different things, so they have their own fantasies.

[GreatnessPersonified]

Romedys are like action movies, they present an unrealistic expectation based on the basic nature of the viewer.

[Anonymous]

They fucked me up for sure.. I think thats one of the biggest reason why nothing has worked out yet.. It bothers me if things dont go smoothly. . Ugh I hate it😣

[OpenWine]

Only watched wedding crashers and womanizer.
They r all gay

[Anonymous]

Come on, you're a girl. Do you freaking believe that the "prince" won't come? Stop being a bitch and understand that you can just sit somewhere snd pick any guy you want. Take advantage of this stupid society, ffs...