Why the "Friendzone" is bullshit!

[MisleadingImpression]

Whether you heard about it from your friends, off the internet or maybe even a T.V show, the friendzone is common knowledge:

"The friend zone, in popular culture, refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded situation by the lovelorn person."

So for those of you who are wondering why it is utter bullshit, I'll tell you why.

It's not a real thing.

By assuming that you're in the friendzone, this means that although you have been told you're seen as a friend/family/pet/whatever-the-fuck, you're implying that you can, in fact, work your way out of this zone.

No no no.

The friendzone is a polite, but albeit rejection. That's right. The person you confessed feelings for and have possibly asked out is not interested in you.

By classing it as the friendzone, you're just denying the fact he/she just isn't that into you. So stop lying to yourself and actually accept the fact that you have a platonic relationship with this person and you should be happy that you have them in your life.

Or, you know, shrug it off and tell yourself "Nah, she'll come round once she see's my sick moves."

Come on, bro. Really?

[Anonymous]

You, just like every other idiot that "disagrees" with the existence of a friendzone, don't understand what the friendzone actually IS. You're reading too deep into it. The friendzone in its simplest, truest form, is simply when two people are friends, and ONE person secretly becomes attracted to the other.

THAT IS IT.

When a person is in the friendzone, they HAVEN'T been rejected because the other person doesn't even KNOW about the attraction. I agree that people who confess their feelings and are rejected then keep the friendship up with the ulterior motive of it turning into something more are dumb, but that is NOT what the friendzone is, and people who call that situation the "friendzone" are using the term incorrectly, plain and simple.

I have been attracted to a few guy friends but I know they only see me as a buddy. I have no ulterior motive, nor do I expect a relationship to bloom. THAT is the friendzone. Not the whole "I got rejected and can't accept it" crap.

[Bandit74]

this ^^

[ArtDent]

No. When guys say they got friendzoned, they are specifically acknowledging that the person has no romantic interest in them.

[Rawrzz]

... So, you're saying--essentially--that romantic feelings are never one sided. And that that one-sided romantic feeling is never denied by one person, accepting the person as a friend as opposed to a lover.

There's rejection. And then there's rejection while maintaining a friendship. Further than that, it is possible to transcend the so-called friendzone. It's happened to me, before. Particularly with women, since they often have no idea what the fuck they want.

Right here. How people can so thouroughly contradict themselves in one paragraph is beyond me.

"The friend zone, in popular culture, refers to a platonic relationship"

"actually accept the fact that you have a platonic relationship with this person "

So... You defined the friendzone. Then said the friendzone was bullshit. Then said--in essence--that people should just accept that they're in the bullshit friendzone that doesn't exist... You are one bad logic-er.

Come on, bro. Really?

[Araya]

There has been times when people have gotten themselves out of the zone. They were patient and waited, simply moved on which made the person realize that the individual who left was perfect, or the one who did the rejection came to the conclusion that they were wrong about the rejected person.

I've seen it happen.

I DO think, though, that any man who is friend-zoned should NOT hold out hope. As you said, it IS rejection, so he should move on and find someone else instead of pining out for someone who said "I only see you as a friend". A lot of guys (and girls of course) think it's better to stick it out until that person notices them... which could be never.

[hellionthesage]

I always think of the friendzone as when a woman rejects the man but keeps him around for the ego boost ie she has a bad day so she cries to him knowing he will tell her how great she is. However what you are describing would be something that happens and yes you could get out of the friendzone. I'm not saying one should bother putting that level of effort into it but you could do so, their is nothing that is preventing that except her opinion of him and that is mutable as we all change our opinions on others all the time.

[SomeOtherGuy]

Your myTake seems to fail on one important point.

The FriendZone, a place where one person's romantic attraction to another is unrequited, is not a healthy place.

It's where friends with benefits relationships often go awry.

The best and healthiest way to handle this relationship from either end is to terminate the relationship indefinitely. You can revisit it a few months or even years later, but the fact of the matter is you both need distance from each other.

People who cling to the relationship are being selfish, thinking only of their needs.

[StewieRH]

I think it's okay to use the term "Friendzone" to describe just being friends with the person you like but I agree with what you're saying. If someone doesn't like you that way then no, it's probably not just that you've been friends too long and s/he would have liked you had you made a move sooner but that they just don't like you that way. What annoys me most though are "Nice guys" who get annoyed when the girl they like doesn't like them back and so they demonize that girl, call her a bitch, get mad at her and make her feel guilty over something she can't control. These guys aren't even really nice guys because if they were, of course they would be upset about the girl not liking them back but they would accept it and not demonize her over it. I know it is possible for girls to be just as bad with guys who reject them, but I've noticed it more in so called "Nice guys".

[bloodmountain1990]

Great take. Personally, it's better to be still be friends with a person, even if they don't like you more than that as opposed to being rejected and they stop talking to you simply because you like them more than that. From experience, the latter causes conflict and awkwardness.

The only time it would be an issue is if they led you on and manipulated you into thinking they liked you more than just to a friend and string you along that way. Otherwise, just because you like someone doesn't mean you're entitled to a relationship with them. Not that you shouldn't try if you like someone more than just a friend.

[lonerider]

REJECTION is when the person who is asked out has no interest in the person who asks out and rejects any advances and does not show interest himself/herself.

FRIENDZONE is when the person who is asked out has no interest in dating the person who asked but does not reject the advances, infact acepts them.. flirts with them.. shows interest.

Many people nowadays cry out that they have been 'friendzoned' when they have been rejected- that DOES NOT MEAN friendzone does not exist.

[Kauto_Star]

Exactly! People conflate the two.

[Anonymous]

What is funny is that you claim the friend zone isn't real and then say, "The friendzone is a polite, but albeit rejection. That's right." Meaning even you believe in the friend zone. Your inability to stick to your own story, and the fact this is a new account makes me think this is a poor attempt at a troll.

[BigJake]

No, the term "friend zone" doesn't refer to a straight-up rejection. There are many cases when a girl starts out attracted to a guy, he does something "wrong," and she ends up deciding that a sexual relationship isn't such a good idea after all. That's what that phrase was coined to describe back in the '90s. People today who don't understand it conflate the term with just plain rejection. That's not what "friend zone" references, not at all.

[PinceNez]

Agree that "friend zone" is a made up thing - BUT for very different reason!

We don't live in a world where you take everything literally...

If the girl you're into says let's stay friends, means she's just not interested. It doesn't mean she wants to be friends, she just doesn't feel comfortable telling you to fuck off...

P. S. But I do remember how it hurts, like it was yesterday... Damn it, woman, I already have friends!!!

[Anonuser2020]

So true, if a guy and I went on a date together and neither or us were interested in each other, I wouldn't mind just hanging out together w/them (in a group). I went out w/a guy the other day and I know that he was really into me, I wasn't into him. He did not pick up on my disinterest and I had to text him about just being friends. The problem is I don't want to hang out w/him because I know that he will be creepy and clingy. In that sense I don't really want anything to do w/him.

[SakuraChii]

I dont agree with the friend zone being a denial of the person not liking you. To me friend zone is just another word for someone only seeing you as a friend, nothing else. I don't use that word when guys only see me as a friend but there are situations where a girl or guy that was only seen as a friend and then later turned into a romantic interest.

[MrMystery28]

The best way out of this "Friend-zone" is to say to the girl "I am only interested in you in a romantic way... You are breath taking so i am not going to lie to you and fake a friendship. So if you ever change your mind contact me otherwise don't. NOW! some guys like a girl from the start and then take the friendship route which is wrong and fake. Really if you like her you make it clear from the beginning or as soon as you start liking her then you make it clear. Dont be fake.

[thorthorley]

In my opinion, a friendzone can be worked out of and can potentially form a romantic relationship. Yes it is a type of rejection, but you can possibly be accepted later. People change and sometimes change their view on a person and then develop feelings for them even though at first they didn't feel anything for them. Yes I agree its difficult to get out of the friendzone, but it is not impossible.

[luminosity]

If a girl friendzones you, move onto other girls. The girl who friendzoned you will see that you're pulling hoes, then will see that you're not a creep, and will want to have some type of relationship with you. By then though, you'd have found a more suitable partner.

[Blueeyes81]

"By classing it as the friendzone, you're just denying the fact he/she just isn't that into you. So stop lying to yourself and actually accept the fact that you have a platonic relationship with this person and you should be happy that you have them in your life."

I don't think you know the definition of platonic.

[genericname85]

actually calling it "friendzone" is basically resentment about the rejection xD sure you hope to still get her, if you have feelings but most of us know that "friendzone" means she wants you as a friend not more. i don´t know where exactly the problem is for you with the term, cause we know it is rejection.

"i love her and asked her out but she said no, she wants to stay fiends" is not as short as "i am in the friendzone" xD that´s what the word is for.

[ArchDruidMordred]

Your argument is bullshit. Please explain to me how calling it the friendzone implies that we're denying anything when it is called the FRIENDzone.

[Dan2287]

It's true. Once I'm 'friendzoned' I don't even continue on with them as friends. Neither side usually does

[Dylanguest1989]

I wouldn't say I've been in the friend zone. It was more just aw man I liked her she didn't like me, welp, moving on. There is this one girl that I really like as a friend possibly more but neither of us drive or live close so it's just in limbo. I think at times some people are mad that they didn't get the relationship others are mad that they didn't get sex. I just hate to feel time wasted when I thought I liked someone but I haven't liked anyone in a while.