Alright, I already know there is going to be a ba-jillion mytakes on Valentines Day that suggest what to get your partner, where to take them on a date, cute-fluffy-shit you can do if you don’t have money to waste on a holiday dedicated to an executed saint – you get the gist. Along with those you’ll also find many takes that preach self love, intended to strike the hearts of lonely single people who hate the day with an absolute passion … even though they’re single every other day of the year so it’s not like it makes a difference. But I digress….
I decided that I wanted to do something a little bit different and simply share with you my personal opinion on Valentine’s Day, from the perspective of a very untraditional single girl who has personally never celebrated it outside of dropping generic, overpriced cards in little paper bags around my grade school class room.
That opinion of mine is simply that I find the whole thing rather … silly.
Once I got out of grade school, I never had an occasion where it was appropriate for me to celebrate Valentine’s Day; most of my relationships were short lived or too casual to do anything for the holiday, and honestly it didn’t bother me that much. You see, my dad always shared with me that he thought Valentine’s Day was a crock, as most people didn’t know the real origins of the holiday (the history of it is debated after all) and that one should appreciate and do romantic gestures for their partner regularly, not just on a dedicated day. The more we talked about it, the more my dad made me realize that all people really do on Valentine’s day is show their love in the form of material things, or at least most people traditionally do. It’s a day of stuffed bears that will just sit on your dresser and flowers that will wither; expensive dinners that you’ll dress up for and spend a good few hours of your night attending, and every anatomically-incorrect heart shaped goodie you could possibly think of. It’s all nice, sweet, and all of that good stuff don’t get me wrong but … somehow, to me, it all seems … superficial.
I’m not saying people who celebrate Valentine’s Day are superficial or that if you buy your lover a gift that you’re superficial, but I do find the whole Valentine’s Day holiday very superficial. Blame the market and the media encouraging you to spend, spend, spend but it doesn’t change the fact that the entire holiday is completely dedicated to showing your love in the form of gifts, extravagant dates and general “over-the-topness.” To me, it’s not really a holiday of love – at least not in today’s age – it’s more like the lover’s Christmas, minus the religious affiliation as both holidays have all but lost that significance over time. Really, it just seems like an excuse to spend money.
I can’t tell you how many girls I have known who feel their worth shattered when they don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day, or how competitive I have seen people get over who had the most fantastical Valentine’s Day or who got the most gifts. I’ve even heard people COMPLAIN that their lover didn’t do enough and that they envied others who went way overboard with the whole thing. It just seems less about celebrating one another and your relationship and more about proving yourself. I mean … why does it all need to be candy and fluff? Why does there need to be one day devoted solely to your lover when every day should be? I mean, I get that you won’t buy your lover flowers every single day and that Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to spoil the person you love, I get it, I truly do … but at the same time, I still feel that we lose sight of what’s really important when this holiday rolls around almost every year. We make it about appearances, about … things, dates … not so much about each other – at least that’s what I feel from what I’ve witnessed first hand.
If you really want to know what I think Valentines day should be about, I'll put it exactly how my father made me see it:
If you want to devote a whole day to the person you love, you first have to make sure that you've appreciated them the entire year; don't use it as a "catch up" period to make up for the fact that you didn't make sure they knew how valuable they are to you. From there ... whatever you do ... you make sure they know that they are worth more than a box of chocolates, or a teddy bear, or a bunch of overpriced flowers. Tell them you love them, tell them why, and show them with you heart, not with your wallet. Because money can't make up for every time you missed an opportunity to say "I love you because you're no less than amazing."
There’s no snazzy ending to this mytake, just the usual spiel; I don’t want anybody to feel that I look down on you if you prefer to be the type to spoil your lover with gifts, everybody is different and will do different things. My point wasn’t to say you can’t do all of the usual Valentine’s Day things. I am simply saying that I feel the real meaning of the holiday sometimes get buried under the candy, roses, and fluff of it all. I hope you all got something out of this nonetheless and I hope you all enjoy your weekend.
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