Can lust turn into love?

Most girls have sex with a guys because they feel love there and most guys don't have to be in love with a female to have sex .It's normal,I know but when does it get to the point where the lust turns into actual feeling?

I haven't had sex with him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Lust doesn't turn in to love. Having sex with a guy because you think you love him is a big mistake until you can see that he really wants to know you not just on a sexual level but that he likes you as a person. One easy way of figuring that out is not to have sex too soon. A guy who keeps asking you out and wanting to do things with you even when the two of you are not having sex, well that is a guy who is in to you and if you are doing that for several months or say, 5, 6, 7 dates over a period of time (not just running in to each other but real dates where he asks and you accept) you can be pretty sure he likes you beyond the possibility of sex.

    Also, does he pay attention to things you say. For instance, does he remember details you have mentioned or does he constantly seem to forget things you talk about. Does he respect you when you say no to something or does he try to bully you into something. It could be about an activity you are going to do or it could be about sex, but a guy who genuinely cares about you is not going to risk losing you by being a bully.

    So, a guy who only sees you as a potential sex partner will never turn his feelings of lust for you in to love no matter what you do. And girls that jump into bed with a guy thinking it is the only way to hold his attention will soon find out that it doesn't hold his attention at all, he enjoys the sex and but then relegates that girl to booty call status. A lot of women have the wrong impression that sex is the way to a man's heart and that men want sex so bad that surely they will want to keep you. But the reality is guys are pretty well equipped to do without a sex partner. They have to be or they would go crazy during those times they are not in a relationship. The sexual act itself lasts only so long and most of their time is spent on other activities anyways, so sex will not cause them to want to stay with you.


What Guys Said 20

  • Maybe the next time y'all have sex, maybe the next day, maybe never. ...So place your bet, pick em up, roll & hope for a 7 or 11. If your chips keep shrinking however, it might be time to find something where YOUR odds are better

  • Alas, there's no magic timer or guarantee that lust will turn into anything else. People who tell you to wait X days or Y months are just making numbers up so they can feel certain about something they can't actually control.

    It's possible that you'll love each other after one or both of you gets over the initial hormonal-lust-sex feelings that come with a new relationship. It's also possible that you won't, or that one of you will and the other won't reciprocate. You can't make someone fall in love with you by sleeping with him/her.

    The best advice I've heard: have sex with him if and when you're ready to deal with the (emotional, social, and physical) consequences. That could be anywhere from "right now" to "never," and it's not up to anyone else to tell you otherwise.

    • Stick to treasure hunting DrJones.

    • Excellent comeback, sir. I am born again in the light of your genius.

  • I wouldn't count on it. At least not in the near future.

  • Love it not usually something that shows up after sex. It usually goes away.

    The feeling or emotion of love is something that takes your breath way, and being matched with someone you have stronger feelings for than they have for you, is not usually a good long term match.

    Good Luck,


  • About 3 months for me. Depends how often.. lol

  • It's very rare to have love after lust. If you built a relationship based on lust first, chances are you won't be finding love because the foundation lacks the basic "recipe's" of love.

    • Very untrue. haven't you ever heard of sex buddies falling for each other?

    • Show All
    • I said it's rare, I didn't say it was not possible to fall for each other. But the question asks if you can fall IN LOVE. That's another thing all together. One party might fall for the other, but pure lust rarely opens the door to finding something worthwhile.

    • Yea I thought differently right after I posted. hence the "dammit why can't you delete comments?"

  • for me the lust that I thought was love turned into anxiety and me not wanting to have sex with her because I realized that I didn't love her and I didn't want it to complicate things. I can't turn lust into love, for me the want of physical intimacy comes after I have fallen in love

  • Lust is totally different from love, why? Lust is about arousal of a feeling on the inside of one because one sees a particular feature of another. For example, as a guy, just because I saw a lady walking down the street and watching her buttocks from behind with consistency will definitely arouse the passion to have sex with her, even without knowing her name. Does that mean tat I love her? No! I was only fascinated with her buttocks and I wanted her buttocks and not her. When the buttocks is not giving me the kind of pleasure I might want at any other time, then I quit. Is that love? Absolutely no!

    Love grows out of total affection for someone without considering first the body of the person one loves. Whether the body is the kind one wants or not, love does not care because love goes for the person and not te part of the person.

  • When his attitude towards life changes he falls in love.

    I don't believe that girls go for sex only because they feel love. A girl who was cheating on her husband said to me this..."yes you know, I know and that guy knows that I am married but my body doesn't know so I want to taste a different man now" I totally lost respect for girls after this.

    • Dude, you can't loss respect for all girls just because of this... you can't just group them all together, because there are a lot of girls that wouldn't think twice of cheating and then there are girls like that, who shouldn't have your respect, but cmon man, there are good women out there.

    • Show All
    • Yes if justice has to be done then it has to be the same for both genders. Alas the society is not like this. Hope it balances out soon.

    • That is sad. But it doesn't cover the entire female population in the world.

      As a rule of thumb, Hurt people hurt others...whether it is physical (which includes sex) or mental abuse.

  • The transition from lust to love rarely ever happens. When a guy finds a girl who just wants to have sex that's all he'll think of and that's all he'll want.

  • if he is the first guy you doin with then you wil love him no matter hw and who he think b4 you hav it with first guy

  • Only if you/they are good in bed.

  • Well for me I have found out one thing about these Lust, Like and Love are connected...

    for any begin there is a end and the begin of love is from LUST TO LIKENESS AND TO LOVE... Depending on how the giver and the receiving end acts... So this is it... for a man to LOVE He has to know lust to like and there come love...

  • there really is no definite point. my most recent ex and I happened to fall in love with each other from straight up lust. it just happened. we didn't think it'd go any further than the sex but it did for a little over 2 years.

    i think the best thing to do here, as cliche as it sounds, is just to go with the flow. if it happens, great. if not, great. best not to expect anything so there is no disappointment from either side, but a completely welcome surprise if it does turn out well. trust me, I know.

  • Lust turns into actual feeling when the guy stops thinking that your just a piece on the side show him how you feel for him and he may just follow.

  • I normally would not sleep with a girl unless I had some feelings there, but I guess that is why I wind up getting hurt.

  • Sorry for bad English but yes lust can turns to love! I experience that in other situation. I like watching in adult chatting sites like chaturbate and i found a girl very attractive she is almost perfect ! The girl of my dream! And when im watching her im fapping so hard ! But i felt that she's not regularly doing the thing that she have to do like fingering her pussy but she enjoys what she wants to do like singing, dancing and doing some crazy and funny things like she's being herself and thats why i fell inlove with her!! Actually i can't believe she almost change me! My lust for her turns to love !! I almost stop masturbating everyday ! Bcoz i can't stop thinking of her every minute and every hour and my heart keeps telling me to respect her and accept the way she is ! And i almost cried every night bcoz my mind always tells me that she's impossible to be yours poor guy you gotta accept the fact! But instead of crying all night i support her in twitter and i voted her in nomination of my ms cam girl 2014 and yes! She won the title!!! Im so happy haahha!! And now im still watching her but not her sexy fuckin hot body but her beautiful eyes and by just being herself! I really love her! And evry night im praying for her safety, being the most happy girl in world and the man that will take care of her in the rest of her life i prayed that and hope she'll find that guy or girl i think she's lesbian? Thats all thank you! I love you kati3kat!! (Katie bell)

  • The feeling will become a Physical Love which is base on sex only and if you shut it down, it usually leads to manipulating. Saying things you want to hear so that person can get what he wants. Relationship that is lust base will always die, because lust will only satisfy for short period of time. Then Love these days is not the correct way Love goes. Love these days is like wanting a car so bad and after you get it, you enjoy it and as time past you don't feel the same about it anymore. So you start wanting something else. This is the wrong type of Love. As Guy, I would make him wait and see if there will be trust, and true love which should lead to marriage.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-8

    New International Version (NIV)

    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

  • well, love that is obtained this way is stupid and wrong, you can easily have sex with someone and then start loving them, hormones released during, making your body more familiar with them, but do you really want someone to get into your heart thru your pants? if that's your description of true love then good luck

    any male and female in this world can have sex, it's a desire, you can't match any two at any time no matter what age they are, how they look like, how fat, how skinny, how tall, how disgusting, it really doesn't matter since they both have the essential parts!

    remember the saying, you will love how your man/woman look like, and their body is going to be your best turn on if it was real love... flip this fact upside down and you'll never appreciate yourself again once you get hit.

  • There is no such thing as love... I am sorry, that is the truth.

    • No such thing as love? You're crazy.

    • Show All
    • It is not too soon though I would have felt loved by now if it had existed.

    • Not true, Answerer. There is no timing on love. When it will happen nor how long it will last. Some people experience it early in life and some people experience it late in life and some never experience it all. You just want it now and that's not how love works. it has to just happen and its all about finding that right person and letting things flow. Your looks have nothing to do with it because there is someone for everyone. You feeling sorry for yourself and being negative is gonna hinder you

What Girls Said 14

  • Well I think to answer your question you first have to think about the normal steps in having a relationship. Lets say that this relationship that is starting up is with a friend. You start to begin to really trust them when common ground is established and you bond or connect over a past experience or something that you wish to happen to you in the future. Also, there are a lot of ways that you can connect with a person just based on personality traits or opinions. Now with a guy there is obviously physical attraction that is the first link in establishing a relationship, then to continue the relationship and make it deeper you and this guy have to bond and connect outside of that physical attraction. Love not only means there has to be passion present but you have to love there flaws and weaknesses and the person they are on their worst day as well as their best. I hoped that helped a little. C:

  • I think lust can turn into love as a possibility depending on the person's core motives and development of a sexual relationship. If a person initially only wants sex without a changeable attitude or behaviour, than that is all they want.

    If a person wants sex and more or open to other possiblities depending on personality type, the changeable behaviour could develop into falling in love.

    Lust and a sexual relationship could build changes also depending on what happens in the sexual situation and if the sexual situation was emotionally impacting enough to evolve new and additional feelings.

    The result and conclusion of this is dependent on a persons wants/needs/motives and personality including the sexual situation itself when the lust occurs.

  • these guys are right!

  • It doesn't...

    Don't awaken love too early. There are three types of love

    1. agape (unconditional love)

    2. eros (sexual love)

    3. PHILEO(brotherly love or personal affection and it expects a return.)

    Let eros be the last last you encounter with a man. Just on experience, my first sex partner, who is the father of my children reminds me of mind blowing sex, still has nothing on true (unconditional) love.

    Although we waited nearly a year before we had sex, the chase ended. The desire to get to know him turned into when are you going to take it off. Ladies, we are the one's who are left with the baggage. Keep it on lock, "Clank, Clank," as Madea says. It is the ONLY way to stay in control of the relationship. Make him wait. You are the prize. I am the prize.

  • yes there is actually lust is just the first part of attraction. get to know him better... it might actually turn into love

  • I believe that lust can turn into love when guy wants to and does notice that there are much more precious things to discover about the girl, not only sex. If the both, guy and girl, are open for relationship, apart from having casual sex, than maybe they can develop communication and than it's more up to how much in common they have. It's rare though.

  • ya I think it does!

  • When you no longer are interested in just wanting his body and you finding your self thinking you just want to spend more time with him or carry on talking to him just for that little bit more and who cares what your talking about as long as it's with each other.

  • quite possibly. lust is really just an initial form of attraction so if you give it time then it could possibly turn into something more.

  • it depends sometimes it happens... you fall for the last person you thought you would... it depends on how long you knew them and all the other ect's

  • When you spend a lot of time together and have so much in common and without sex too, makes it more emotional than sexual and then feelings start to develop. You know you are in love when the person you are with leaves to go somewhere and you already miss them, can't wait to see them again, think about them all day, when you kiss, you feel like you are on cloud 9, like a high. You just love being with them and looking at them, you don't want them out of your sight.

  • well I'd have to disagree with you there most girls have sex because they want to not because they feel love. sure that's the reason for a lot of people both girls and guys but I would'nt say most. lust is an actual feeling it's what love starts of as. although it dosen't mean lust will always turn into love. I personally do not believe in love at first sight lust yes love no. I don't think I could look at a man and think ' wow I'm in love with him' love happens when you know someone it dosen't have a time limit it can take days, weeks , years etc it's different for everyone. you just know when it happens

  • i think lust turns to love when you don't have to depend on sex to be together