Back story: I am actually really traditional when it comes to relationships and didn't even kiss a girl until i was with her (at the age of 18). however she lost her virgin to her previous bf who due to the word limit i shant continue. But anws, this affected me as i felt she was tainted. i was really insecure about her past and the time i felt secure felt like nothing else mattered was when we had sex. which was why i got addicted to it after awhile... we started sex a month into our relationship. thus the foundation of our relationship was built mainly around sex.. so when she asked me to stop it was really hard. at times i would act with out thinking. I really regret what i have done cause i really do love every atom that makes her being...
Question: I have not talked to her for about 2 months now and recently started but i can tell that she's pushing me away as she gives me few word replies or she'll say "ttyl" and not talk to me anymore. I spent these 2 months reflecting and finding myself once more and now that i feel that there is progress and i am able to finally accept her past i want to get back with her, start a fresh and show that i love her and not lust for her. but i dont know what to do. any suggestions?
- move on in life
- fight for her love
Most Helpful Guy
Sex is the most sacred form of human bonding. Why do you feel you deserve it? Traditionally, a man will date a woman in abstinence (That means you don't touch her. You deny yourself and what you want- that is sex) while he gets to know her. This can take months, and sometimes lasts for years.
You say you love every fiber of her existence, well, is she worth waiting for? Can you date her, getting to know her, without sex? If you cannot, then assure you, she deserves a man who loves her enough to wait to take her body.
Sex destroys a foundation if you have not made a life commitment to her.
Is she worth waiting for, in order to spend the rest of your life with her? People can say they love one another, but the true test is in your actions.
You wanted to know what's best, I will tell you my friend.
Put sex aside. Completely. Out of your mind. Do not even masturbate. Get to know her, outside of sex. Get to understand exactly who she is. Even if she initiates, do not have sex. It will set you your foundation back if you do.
When the time is right, pledge your life to her and make a life commitment to her. Marry her. Spend the rest of your life with her, recalling and considering the love you originally felt for her, and the foundation you worked so very hard to build.
Consider her heart in all you do. Raping her is essentially as selfish an act as there is. Were you thinking about her heart? Her soft, tender emotions? Or did you only consider yourself, and what you want? You couldn't have cared less about her. You wanted satisfaction, from what I gather.
That is not love, or devotion. It is selfishness and cruelty.
So I will ask you, are you man enough, and is she worth it, to wait for her? If it takes three years before you're ready? Before she's ready?
Words are cheap my friend. The proof is your willingness to suffer and do without while you learn to love her more than you love yourself.