I forced myself onto the girl I love, she's left me. what do I do?

I fell in love with the girl and we got together about a year and a half or so ago. However we have broken up about 3 months ago. the reason why we broke up was cause i would force myself onto her. I would do so because she denied me sex. I would get pissy and bitchy (bitching about her past (which i will talk about later) trying to guilt trip her into sex) or i would touch her in attempt to turn her on. This was however at the expense of her heath as we always liked it rough and after awhile her vajayjay was injured... in the way that she had meds to take to help ease the pain. if im not wrong she had an ovarian cyst or something. But even after her getting hurt id continue to fore myself onto her every now and then until one day she left.

Back story: I am actually really traditional when it comes to relationships and didn't even kiss a girl until i was with her (at the age of 18). however she lost her virgin to her previous bf who due to the word limit i shant continue. But anws, this affected me as i felt she was tainted. i was really insecure about her past and the time i felt secure felt like nothing else mattered was when we had sex. which was why i got addicted to it after awhile... we started sex a month into our relationship. thus the foundation of our relationship was built mainly around sex.. so when she asked me to stop it was really hard. at times i would act with out thinking. I really regret what i have done cause i really do love every atom that makes her being...

Question: I have not talked to her for about 2 months now and recently started but i can tell that she's pushing me away as she gives me few word replies or she'll say "ttyl" and not talk to me anymore. I spent these 2 months reflecting and finding myself once more and now that i feel that there is progress and i am able to finally accept her past i want to get back with her, start a fresh and show that i love her and not lust for her. but i dont know what to do. any suggestions?

  • move on in life
    Vote A
  • fight for her love
    Vote B
  • wait
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sex is the most sacred form of human bonding. Why do you feel you deserve it? Traditionally, a man will date a woman in abstinence (That means you don't touch her. You deny yourself and what you want- that is sex) while he gets to know her. This can take months, and sometimes lasts for years.

    You say you love every fiber of her existence, well, is she worth waiting for? Can you date her, getting to know her, without sex? If you cannot, then assure you, she deserves a man who loves her enough to wait to take her body.

    Sex destroys a foundation if you have not made a life commitment to her.

    Is she worth waiting for, in order to spend the rest of your life with her? People can say they love one another, but the true test is in your actions.

    You wanted to know what's best, I will tell you my friend.

    Put sex aside. Completely. Out of your mind. Do not even masturbate. Get to know her, outside of sex. Get to understand exactly who she is. Even if she initiates, do not have sex. It will set you your foundation back if you do.

    When the time is right, pledge your life to her and make a life commitment to her. Marry her. Spend the rest of your life with her, recalling and considering the love you originally felt for her, and the foundation you worked so very hard to build.

    Consider her heart in all you do. Raping her is essentially as selfish an act as there is. Were you thinking about her heart? Her soft, tender emotions? Or did you only consider yourself, and what you want? You couldn't have cared less about her. You wanted satisfaction, from what I gather.

    That is not love, or devotion. It is selfishness and cruelty.

    So I will ask you, are you man enough, and is she worth it, to wait for her? If it takes three years before you're ready? Before she's ready?

    Words are cheap my friend. The proof is your willingness to suffer and do without while you learn to love her more than you love yourself.

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    • Well yes. I would have been more than willing to abstain for her. (probably not the fapping part tho) but its too late now. i agree with what the people say that i should move on. its whats best for her. wanting her for myself is selfish and if my presence makes her unhappy i am unable to fulfill my duty to her as a gentleman... fucked up as how i had treated her before.

    • There is beauty in redemption.

      But you have to earn it.

      A man who has suffered ans struggled and come out on top has more character than a man who has never struggled.

      I pray you find the strength to become the man that I know you are. I hope you change who you are inside (Ask God for help. He will help you. There's no other way out than that.) and pursue her, win her back, and spend the rest of your lives together.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I voted move on, but honestly not for you. For her sake. You looked at her like she was "tainted?". Hardly healthy for her emotionally.

    I don't think you can handle yourself around her. Sex until you hurt her, knowing she has a health problem? MAYBE the pain was what kept her from wanting sex to start with, you don't know what she really felt physically.

    She got herself together enough to leave; for her sake let her go. She needs to be with someone who values her. Your relationship, per your words, was based on sex. Let her find someone who will love her for all she offers, sex or not.

    You will find a girl who matches your sexual needs, and be happier for it.

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    • thanks for your advice. actually i didn't mention this in the details but she was the one who initiated sex first and i managed to control it the first few times but temptation got the better of me. i agree that i was not mature in handling the fact that she wasn't a virgin. i had grown up in a rather fairytailish environment. the reason why i posted the question is because i really do love her and not for the sex. However you're right that the pain was what made her wanna stop. it bums me out that i should move on... but i myself know that this is whats best.

  • For heavens sake stop feeling sorry for yourself, get a grip and MOVE ON.

    You have no one else to blame but yourself for this, so hopefully let this be a lesson learnt.

    Let's all hope and pray that you will not treat the next girl in such an awful disrespectful manner.

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  • You need help. It is never OK to force yourself on a girl. You should have respected her feelings. you're lucky she's talking to you at all.

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  • You should probably just leave her alone. She doesn't seem to wanna be bothered with you anymore and with good reason based off what you wrote.

    Learn from your mistakes and grow. But I don't think you have a chance with her anymore.

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  • You're lucky you aren't in jail or dead

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  • That Is considered rape.. when you force yourself on someone without their permission.. doesn't matter you her boyfriend or not that is considered rape

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    • i think what i meant was i would kinda pressure her into agreeing. its wrong and i feel guilty man. you have no idea. but is rape too strong a word?

    • No, I don't think rape is too strong a word.

What Guys Said 4

  • The way you described your relationship you seem like a rapist. Best if you move on

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  • "Forced myself on her... "

    I didn't even waste my time reading anything else. The fuck is wrong with you? Better question is how the hell are you still alive right now? Why are you not in jail, at least?

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  • Even if u were her boyfriend... that's still rape.

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  • Your behaviour is no basis for a loving relationship. Some would call it abusive or even rape. You should leave her alone and correct your way of thinking.

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