he wore them because he felt lonely when he was young, and his mother didn't take care of him. thus they are his security now and he is attached to them, when I ask him to give them up for me he says I am tearing them from him. I don't know what to do
Most Helpful Guy
Not sure when this was posted so. You first need to realize he will never give them up, he will just hide it from you. Second the emotional attachment he get from them is something that he needs in his life even though he may not be able to fully explain it. Third and this is important what he wants is for you to become the more dominate person in the relationship. Telling him what to do and praising him when he does it and scolding him when he doesn't just like you would with a young child. Forth, he is looking for someone to accept him for who he is and love him with all their heart no matter what he wears. If you give him 4 hours on the weekend to indulge in his fantasy/fetish you will win him over completely and earn his unconditional love which is something that he probably finds extremely hard to give.
You might notice he gets close to you and then pulls away for no apparent reason at all. That is because he is afraid that if he gives everything to you and something happens he will be alone again. YES I understand all people feel this way, but in someone who has this fantasy/fetish that feeling is almost overbearing. It is a feeling that was instilled into his brain at a young age and resides deep in his subconscious.
The last thing that I am going to say is that if you truly love him for the person that he is, then you should allow him to some time to be able to indulge in his fantasy/fetish on a regular but not overbearing (for you) basis.
P.S. I used the terms fantasy and fetish side by side because what you might consider a fetish, he considers a fantasy. Something he desperately wants but doesn't know how to make it a reality with someone he loves.