How can I tell if my boyfriend is cheating on me?

How can I tell if my boyfriend is cheating on me without asking him straight out because I know he would never admit it unless I had some hard evidence in my hands?

We had been together for 4 months when I found out that when we were first starting to date that he was still sleeping with other girls but I didn't confront him but now I am not sure if he is still doing it or not or when it stopped?

Why do guys cheat on girls if they tell her they love her and get everything that they want from her?

What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • When you are first dating and a guy is still having sex with other girls, though not great, it can happen. Once a guy tells you he loves you and is having sex with you, he should not be having sex with anyone else.

    Guys take time to figure out how they feel about a girl and may think they are just dating and having fun and think nothing of having sex with another woman, because, well, they have no idea they are going to fall in love with you.

    I had an ex-boyfriend who ended up feeling guilty about doing the same thing and he did actually lie to me about going to see friends for the weekend when he was actually seeing a girl who was coming in to town to see him. He told me all about it before he actually told me he loved me. It was a step in his process of walking towards a relationship with me. I thought it was funny as we were not exclusive at that time and he was not my boyfriend when he did it and he ended up feeling so damn guilty about it later.

    Overall I doubt you will ever get the hard evidence to know the truth. As you recognize he isn't going to tell you. So, all you can do is move forward and keep your eyes out for future infidelity. Hopefully you can find a way to put the past out of your mind or it will cause you problems.

    • Wow boyfriend/girlfriend rules here, who made those? what will you do to make anyone with a slutty behavior follow these rules? what will you do when they won't follow them no matter how you cry and beg?

      my saying is, if you have to question their behavior then you're just starting the suffering, the question asker doesn't deserve this crap.

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    • Actually in a perfect world we could have any combination of relationship, friendship, sex, work, etc. without drama, that way a much broader band of situations can be accounted for...

    • Sorry, but that is the description of a boring world. No drama means no emotions. No emotions to cause "drama" means also no emotions to give you the thrills and highs you get from them too. Oh, well, interesting but not my idea of a perfect world.

What Guys Said 17

  • You can't tell, unless he tells you or he got an STI, of course.

  • Really, there shouldn't be these sorts of questions you should have to deal with, and while you may not have any hard evidence, what does your heart say? Does it feel like he is being honest with you, or do you have doubts? If it just seems like things aren't adding up for you as for his fidelity I would recommend leaving him and finding a man you can have peace of mind with, someone you have no doubts about at all. Nothing will damage a relationship more than fear and trust issues. So while I'm not accusing him of anything I feel you should trust your gut on this one. I hope this helps and that everything works out for you.

  • Any guy who would cheat on a hot girl like you is a damn fool!

    • Trust me it dosn't matter if you are hot or not because that's usually not what they are looking for. Look at Tiger Woods, he's married to a gorgeous woman but he still cheated.

    • You've got a point. His lust for white beautiful girls has ruined him.

    • Yeah I don't believe looks has to do anything with cheating, when a guy is cheating he has his own reasons, if he thinks his girlfriend isn't that good looking well, he wouldn't be with her in the first place!

  • Give him the sand test...when you suspect he's been out having sex with someone else, as soon as he walks in the door...act like you want to have sex with him and get his pants off...throw sand on his d***...if it falls off, he's faithful, but if the sand sticks, then he's a lying, cheating bastard and you should kick him in the balls. I hate to sound vulgar, but seriously, listen to your's usually right. Besides, if you're even having these thoughts, causing you to ask these questions, especially if he's already cheated on you in the past, then why would you bother with him anymore? Really, where is the relationship going? Are you going to live with him? Are you going to marry him and go into debt with him after knowing he's cheated on you? Think long need to drop him and find someone to be honest with you. Don't be so gullible as to think he's magically cured, and will never cheat on you again...because HE WILL...mainly because he knows you've forgiven him in the past.

  • Check the crotch of his underwear and if he is cheating on you they will be heavily startched.

  • Are you an annoying... if you are he's cheating on you

  • I don't get how some lucky guys get these amazing women and still have the audacity to cheat.

  • ack of intimacy. This doesn't always have to be in the form of sex. It can be a decline of touching, cuddling, holding hands or kissing.

    He cheated on his old girlfriends. If you can talk to some of his old girlfriends, by all means, do it. However, make sure to ask his ex-girlfriends in a kind and calm manner so they do not become defensive. A cheating boyfriend will usually repeat their behavior with their next girlfriend.

    He avoids you. A big sign of a cheating boyfriend is when he makes up all sorts of excuses as to why he can't be with you because he's spending time with his 'other' girlfriend. If he has to work late, stay after school, is always with his friend's or co-workers more than usual, these could be the excuses your boyfriend is using to cover up his cheating ways.

    He never answers his cell phone around you. A way to tell if your boyfriend is cheating is if he always turns his ringer off around you or walks out of hearing distance from you. These are big big red flags he may be cheating. If he receives calls at odd hours or speaks on the phone in a strange manner could also be signs he is cheating.

    He is irritable or criticizes you more. If your boyfriend's behavior suddenly changes, there is a possibility that he may be finding fault with you in order to justify his cheating in his mind. That way your cheating boyfriend can say you 'drove' him away because of your supposed faults. The opposite of this behavior is being overly nice, giving gifts and being lovey-dovey because he wants to keep his cake (you) and eat it too (his other girlfriend).

    Good Luck.

    - Harvey D

    • I asked him if he had cheated on any off his girlfriends and he told me that he had once done it but he started excusing himself by telling me that he relationship had already been over. The thing is that he hasn't had a serious girlfriend for a long time, he's 24 and let's just say that he has been "enjoying" life, I know he was a big time player but he isn't like that around me, always hugging me and kissing and holding hands but he is getting a lot of strange calls.

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    • How can you say that?

    • He hugs you and kisses you? and you think that is a sign that he ISN'T a player by you? I think you should broaden your perspective and realize it very well might be!

  • how the hell could he cheat on such a sexy woman?

  • try and catch this guy...why do we cheat? because its easy sometimes and we don't have guilty consciences that girls do. I've cheated before many times. we don't think twice about it so if you suspect him of cheating try to catch him and dump his sorry ass

  • if a guy cheated on you...he must be extremely retarded.

  • I felt like you once and I did what most do..consumed myself and destroyed the relationship..

    What made you date him, what made you like him only matters if you feel safe and you trust him.

    The worst thing you can do is having a relationship that feels like a disease..

    If you want an honest advice, trust him completely or if you can let go than break up and move on wile there are still good memories and a friendship..cuz if you continue feeding this fear, it will end up in hate and sadness..

  • Men have two vital organs. They have a brain and a penis and not enough blood to run both at the same time. if at any point during the relationship a guy is sleeping with another girl that is a moral stigma that is not fixed over night or rather at all in most cases. So my sound advice is look for the signs. Does he give you quick vague answers to things. Does he have "things that he has to do" with no real time to be home. Does he get angry rather than insightful whenever you bring up the possibility that something might be going on. a guilty man is not a man on the defense. If the signs are there chances are the affair is also.

    -Thats the way it is-

  • Keep a good eye on him cause possibilities are if he did it while you first started dating he probably still is. If he really loved you he wouldn't be doing it in the first place don't you think. Maybe he just isn't ready to have a serious relationship, talk to him and let him layout all the cards on the table because if you continue going on like this its gonna really hurt you in the long run. Hope this helps good luck!

  • he's cheating...

  • uh...

    seems pretty obvious to me.

    "We had been together for 4 months when I found out that when we were first starting to date that he was still sleeping with other girls."

    that's cheating...

  • who the f*ck would cheat on a viking girl! lol I'm considering iceland, it's one of the few spots in the world you can still find available sweet blondes at ;)


What Girls Said 9

  • ok this is how I feel girl get out while you still can any asshole that wouuld be in any sort of relationship where you guys are together and already cheated he probably still is. Another thing a way you can tell is if he is constantly wanting to know where you are and then accuses you of cheating. That's the way I found out twice in 2 different relationships so good luck.

  • friend these girls and talk to them. get your friends to keep an eye on him if they get the chance to. lol I know, stealth but whatever. call him when he least expects you to call, but not too often so he doesn't get suspicious.

    hang out with him more to decrease the chances he's able to get with another girl.

    if he's sleeping with other girls,i'd just dump him.

    then talk sh*t about him and get a hotter guy to go out with?

    why deal with drama when you can do with better?

  • Now here, is the best way.. Get some girl from another country to add him on msn.. And then get her to chat him up.. etc.. And see if he says he has a girlfriend or if he's seeing anyone and would he wanna hook up.. etc.. The sly-unhonest way:) Or even get someone to text him! and after a day or two you ask him who he's textin.. if he lies then he's probably being dishonest with you about more than just that..

  • you should ask one of his friends that if he is cheating on you it should work..

  • well men they all weird animals dificult to understand them sometimes, check if he slept with girls at tha beginin of ur relationship maybe he mite b busy with sum cow again, ir maybe its jus ur head thinkn tings. but keep an eye on him check his fone and other things if you can.

    • She shouldnt be like checking on what he does everyday, we should be able to trust our bfs and not have to worry about what he is doing behind our backs!! stalking and spying on him isn't gunna do her any good, if he is hiding something she will only hurt herself. if he isnt, well she will blame herself and he will be p*ssed off that she doesn't trust him!

  • Break up with him.

  • use your head a woman know when her man is cheating it's a woman's intuition also if he's leaving and you think he's headed to a girls house follow him or call him when you think he's with a girl and see if he'll answer. if worse come to worse you could always call

  • Oh yeah... I started dating with a guy. What I didn't know, he had someone to sleep around with. And I found out only 4 months after we begun dating, when she got pregnant! And he would tell me he loves me, and I am amazing, and wonderful and all... I wish somebody could put a brick against his face and smash his nose :) So if this bastard was hiding and still had someone, yours did it openly so I would not be surprised if he still does it. You can also fool around behind his back and just never tell him. It's only fair in such situation. Or, find yourself a decent guy, who is interested in serious relationships more, much much more.