Should you forgive a guy who physically abused you?

[Anonymous]

Would you as a man, ever get to the point you could hit a girl?

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

To forgive a guy who abused you physically is a tricky decision. You have to take into account a lot of things:

1) Why did he do it?

Regardless of the reason, it doesn't justify the resulting actions. Nothing you ever do or say to a guy gives him the right to hit you, BUT if you DID do something extremely hurtful or offensive and he really got angered by it, I personally don't think you should be too hard on him because of it. For example, you two are having a discussion, and you end up saying a lot of hurtful things, and insulting a bunch of things that he cares about. He eventually hits. This is different than say, a guy asks you to do something for him, something you don't feel like doing. You refuse and he hits you. I'm sure by now you can see the difference between the two cases.

2) Is it his first time doing it?

A guy who hits you for the first time, might have simply lost control of his emotions and lashed out in anger. So if it's the first time, there's a chance that will be the only time it ever happened. When he hurt someone we care about, we aren't proud of it, and we'll remember how much it hurt you the next time we think of doing it. So if you feel like he really does care about you, and he's only just done it once, I think you should be forgiving.

3) How does he treat you overall?

Does he really care about you? Is he a decent guy? Do you two have a connection? If on top of abusing you physically, he is also dishonest, verbally abusive and acts like he doesn't care about you, why bother forgiving him? Is he really worth it?

And yes obviously guys do get to the point where they would hit girls. I've never got to that point myself, nor do I ever see it happening, but this is because I usually don't feel anger, I simply get disappointed. The max I'd probably do is use force to stop her from doing something I don't think is fair, like hold her, or not let her through. But never with the intention of hurting her.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Oh I'd just like to add a few examples where you probably shouldn't forgive him if he abuses you:

-He hit you because he's jealous.

-He hit you because you went and did something he told you not to do.

-He hit you because he thinks you're lying about something.

If it was for those reasons, there's a high chance he's gonna probably do it again.

[Jon364]

Agree.

[Anonymous]

No, if she was hitting me I would try & restrain her but never hit her. Only cowards hit women & beat on animals. Usually the ones that beat women are wimps. They run from a fair fight with another guy so pick on the weak. I'm not talking about a guy who lost his temper once but someone who has a history of beating women.

[Anonymous]

it is never acceptable (unless you are attacking him, hurt his child, or gave him an incurable std). if you are completely in the wrong and aggressive to him and you hit him then you can't be mad if he hits you back but even then he should use appropriate force and not actually beat you down

now barring those reasons I just listed no you should never forgive a guy who physically abused you. never. no excuse. if a man can't control his emotions to the point where he'll abuse someone he is in a relationship with why would you want to have anything to do with him again? some girls are just too easy and wimpy and that's why they will constantly get mistreated by guys because they make excuses for sh*tty unacceptable behavior

[beans]

NO, no way you should stay in a relationship if you're being physically threathened by your other half...including men too.

I once cracked some of my boyfriend's ribs and gave him a black eye, because I was drunk and lost my temper, he never hit me back and never left me. I regretted it sooo much.

[SammyHay123]

I would never forgive my man if he phsically abused me.. it'd be just to much to handle and I probably wouldn't be able to feel safe around him again

[Jon364]

I already have hit a girl before in high school. I wasn't in a relationship with them, but I did have feelings for them. .

I was slapped quite a few times in school. Each time I took it. One time I said a smartass comment and she slapped me. And then something inside me snapped, I was slapped and in a reflex without even having time to think, I did a sort of Judo throw on her. It didn't hurt her, it was just like a shock. I have never done Judo in my life by the way.

I was picked on by other guys in school for being a "women basher", and while I was tempted to fight back, it was a strict school where one fight could lead to long consquences, suspensions, and further fights and rivalries etc. So I just grinned and beared it.

She continued being friends with me. Never said a bad word to me about it or talked about it again. Maybe she forgave me, or maybe she could understand why I didn't like getting hit.

I don't know what this means for this topic. If you are in a relationship, all violence is bad. Period. I think in a similar situation I could hit back in self defense, but I hope that I would not. Both sides, I think violence is very destructive and it esculates. There are better ways to deal with your problems.

Avoid violent relationships like they are the plague.

[heatfan03]

jesus christ, can't beleive some of the responses you read here,

it would take extreme extreme circumstances for this to happen,

the only way I would hit a girl is if she was either.

A. physically stronger than me and just trying to restrain her wasn't working (ie if she was hitting me and holding her wasn't working )

B. she was hurting someone else and restraining her would not work

couldn't even imagine hitting a girl just completey wrong

and to get to you main point

i don't give a f*** why he hits you for any reason whatsoever it is never never never acceptable. if he can not control his actions and finds force the only way necessary to take out his emotions show his feelings or wtever the reason is, he is capable of doing it again.

girls who believe otherwise are being ignorant.

some of these other posters talking about how if you trust them then you can forgive them. absolute bollocks,

if they full on hit you get the f*** out and never have anything to do with them again.

[2Mysterious]

I would NEVER hit a girl no matter what the situation. Well you can forgive a guy that hit you but I don't know if you could ever fully trust them again. And girls should never stay in an abusive relationship.

[kevin89x]

i would never hit a girl and if the thought ever even crossed my mind I would remove myself from the situation abuse is bullsh*t and I am currently trying to convince a friend of mine that she needs to leave the abusive relationship

[RealDeal]

Never have I ever. Even if she was hitting me and it hurt, the most I would do is pick her up and throw her, then make a run for it.

[Marge]

I could forgive him but also at the same time would set a boundary line to stay away from him

[Desires]

"Would you as a man, ever get to the point you could hit a girl?"

Family, friends, girlfriend.. Never.

Some filthy bitch who's p*ssing me off. Yes.

[Thiezz]

If she started hitting me first, hell yes. In most other situations, probably not.

[fastpitchgrl13]

I'm sorry but if my boyfriend ever hit me I'd cut off his best friend(:

[Anonymous]

I would never forgive because if he can do it once, he can do it again

[coffeeglass]

You shouldn't ever forigve a guy who purposely harms you