Do most girls dislike "handsome" guys?

From what I hear, I'm pretty handsome. I've had gay guys hit on me, and girls tell me how attractive I am. But at college girls act almost afraid to look at me or talk to me. Even the really attractive girls that you think wouldn't be shy act this way. This would be fine, but the problem is that I'm shy too. I probably look stuck up and arrogant but I'm not really this way. How do I get girls to talk to me or even look at me for the matter. How do I let them know that's it's OK and I won't bite lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, most handsome guys are not shy and humble but very confident and expect the girls to adore them for how awesome they are...I've met some like this and since then I'm kinda suspicious when a handsome guy hits on me, because I think that he just wants an ego-boost or a groupie or whatever.

    Also there's the image of handsome guys being gay most of the time, which is not true, but you never know beforehand, of course.

    And yeah, there's the competition issue, many girls think that a handsome guy can have any girl so naturally being not very self-confident they think that they have no chance.

    Oh, I guess it sucks being an handsome guy - but there must be some girls around you can ask out, or? I don't think they'll turn you down, if you approach them. Because let's face it, it's really hard for a girl to turn down a handsome guy...we're all suckers for beauty.


What Girls Said 22

  • I don't think most girls dislike handsome guys. I think it's more about if we've been in crappy situations where we felt like guys played with our feelings, and he so happened to be handsome and able to get other girls. Maybe by the time girls get to college, we're scared of being played again like in high school. In other words, aversion and fear of past experiences. I think if you try making friends, without an agenda in mind of dating these girls, it will - for one - help you overcome your shyness and feel more comfortable opening up to them, and two, let them let down their guard around you and see you as the good person you are. It's easier to date someone when you know them a little first.

  • They're just intimidated lol! I'm sure if you made the first move they'd definitely loosen up a bit. Act open and friendly! It'll show to them that you're not uptight or against any communication...they probably think that you'll ignore them or look at them weirdly if they initiate anything.

  • We assume you're so into your looks that you don't see past your nose. And that you're dumb.

    Smiling always helps. But not that one sided grin like you're all that. The huge teeth showing smile that says: "Hi. I'm _________(your name here)".

  • i love hott guys the thing is tho a lot of them are egotistical which is a turn off and quite a few of them are not smart (I guess its because they rely on their looks to get ahead). part of the reason you may be looked past tho is because it is intimidating to b with a guy that looks better than you...always in the back of your head you ask yourself am I good enough for him? in addition to that, attractive men can usually get any girl that he wants and no girl wants to go through the drama of having a cheating boyfriend or a man that evry girl wants to try to steal from me its annoying to get up to use the bathroom at a restaurant or outing just to return to a girl/girls trying to pick up your date.

    • It's that stereotype that is hurting me. I'm not stuck up and I can't get any girl I want because I'm very shy. What am I supposed to do? There are at least two girls who I never talked to that I know are attracted to me but I can't get up the courage to talk to them. :(

    • Because your shy and probably wouldn't know what to say its best if you first smile at one of them and when she smiles back go sit next to her...she'll probably tty at this point ...wait where do you kno these girls from?

  • Hell no I love me a big Ole hunk of man!

  • just give them a genuine smile, and that will be enough to let them know is OK, being handsome is not a bad thing, is actually a plus so use it at your favor! and there is nothing wrong with a little bit of flirting don't be shy !

  • no..wanna date? :P

    i used to be a model (print, because I'm 5"6) and have been in a major beauty pageant..and guess what? I NEVER get hit on.

    • Most guys won't approach a girl if there is a 5% chance they will be rejected, and if you are gorgeous then most guys are to intimated to hit on you. You have to give most guys a little clue you're interested or approachable (wink, smile, etc...), once you open the door they will be all about you. =) my last girlfriend was in Maxium, Teen Prom, and on a couple TV shows and she said the same thing.. lol

  • tell us what's making you shy ?

  • ohh blesss :) be funny joke with a not so pretty girl hear NOT SO PRETTY and when your having a laugh all the girls will flock round to see what your talking to her about its a human instinked they will be nosey and think ohh she's not so pretty lets see what's happ over there soon you will have a few round you but REMEMBER do not use the girl you flirt with be nice stay nice if you seen a beautiful girl talking and laughing with a not so pretty man wouldn't you wonder over or be nosey tried and tested it works :)))

    ps girls love confidance in a man but not cockyness there's a diffrence smile be more open and girls don't like pretty boys preened with in an insh of the lifes human woman instinked is a man to be a man like cave men :) and smart asses either jusgt be smiley open and nice you will see

  • the thing is 99.999 percent of girls, wait for the guy to start the convo, cause they don't wanna seem desperate, so you just step it up, sit beside a girl you find attractive and, just start talking like "how are you today" or "my name is...whats yours?" that ways girls will be more comfortable around you and soon you will be a pro at it :) and if your REALLY shy then start talking to girls your not atracted to first, then move up slowly !

    • What I don't understand... How do girls think simply starting a conversation is desperate?! lol

    • We just over think things

  • Well for all you know the girls you want to talk to you could be shy just like you. you should try to open up a little more and be a little less shy and that will show that you aren't really stuck up and that your open to hanging out with someone. just be a little more inviting and I'm sure girls will talk to you!

  • I am very shy and even more if he's handsome because I'd think, oh many girls prob think so too, what a tight competition. Maybe I might think that he doesn't think I'm pretty enough. I like shy men as well, but I wouldn't approach a guy, I'd probably just smile. My ex was quite handsome, but he was the one who approached me, even though he was very shy as well.

  • Wanna date me?

    :D Just kidding.

    Be friendly.

    • Post some pics.

  • don't look so stuck and arrogant , and you'll see a change!

  • just start a conversation and be yourself. compliment them once or twice, but don't overdo it. act natural. if they don't like you, they don't like you. they'll decide for themselves if your stuck up and arrogant. staying silent may only reenforce that opinion. don't be shy. the worst thing that could happen is that one of them won't like you, and that doesn't matter! there are plenty of people out there that could have a different opinion.

    good luck, man!

  • Most women shy from attractive men. Reason for that women mostly think attractive men would never be attracted them. Another reason is about 80% of attractive men has bad reputations, very conceded and only think of them selves. So for this reason women wait for the man to come to her. When approaching her be fun and seem very interested in her. This will make her feel very attractive her self to know that you are interested in her.

  • You said the "S" word. They will never admit it because it makes them look shallow but women really hate shy men. They want the easy route where the guy always approaches them and Oh! and don't forget...makes them laugh Uhhggggg! It's a mean world out there for shy guys. and you know the loud mouth jerk with the 82 IQ is the one who is going home with girl!

    • I know plenty of girls who like shy guys! In fact I'm crushing on one myself!

      The problem is that there is an old misconception that if a guy likes you, then he will approach you and talk to you even if they are shy. That's not true! But I hear girls telling other girls all the time to NOT approach because guys DON'T like aggressive girls. My mom says the same thing. So.. its the poor advice that is the problem.

    • Actually I wasn't offering advice, I was just identifying with a common problem. If more girls had the she-balls to approach some of these guys they would probably find that many of them are flattered! As for girls being "aggressive" because they approach a guy first. calender says it's almost 2011 and we're still having this conversation? That is fu(king sad!

  • Most are probably intimidated. Make yourself appear approachable. Be conscious of your facial expressions, and if you see a girl or anybody for that matter... smile! Don't hang out in big groups of people, this makes it intimidating to talk to you, even if you do look like a friendly person.

  • Wow, you must be super-model material if it's that bad! :) That's what your friends/wing-men are for. I wouldn't make a habit of this, but if you have a drink/shot (only 1 to get you going - you don't want to end up sloppy) prior to socials or parties and that should help relax you a bit.

    Make a promise to yourself that "tonight" when you're chatting with that girl at the party, you're going to ask her for her number. If you're that handsome, she's going to say yes. Period.

  • look people at your school can think all of these things or they could be shy and those could be the reasons why but if you want to be hit on you have to first open up and talk to people not like your look for people to hit on you but I mean just try to be friendly and show who you are so if you end up going on a date with a girl or hookin up with one or another word will get out your not gay and girls usually want what other girls have plus the girls who think they are better than everyone will definitely now know that she could get by then you will usually get hit on.

  • I often don't talk much with them because I'm shy, and it can be intimidating.

    but it depends on how he acts.

    If you are smiling and people feel comfortable in you company, I think it would help.


What Guys Said 11

  • I seem to be stuck in the same boat... I've been told to be good looking and handsome and cute and stuff, mostly by older women from mid 20s to older... but yeah I feel the same way as you. I'm a little on the shy side too.

    Idk what's with girls my age tho. It's like younger girls seem interested every so often, or just average to below average girls. Then older women generally act interested in me as a person and are very open and friendly, attractive or not, and most times they're married, but it doesn't stop them from complimenting me.

    I don't mean to sound conceited if I'm coming off that way, but the girls I'm interested in, which are my age and attractive, don't seem to think twice about me.

    Maybe the cliche is true... "Just gotta wait it out." :/

  • Sure,most girls like handsome guys..

  • HA! I'm in the same situation. I'm the only white guy in a CHinese school long term, and I'm defo better looking than the average Lee. Asian girls think just because your white or good looking you must be a jerk jock moron..

    So I do get that feeling. HOWEVER, with the foreign students I don't.

    Sometimes it's not your fault, but it's other peoples. You can't blame yourself for the quirks or wrong assumptions people have.

    f*** em.

  • I experience the same thing. I wouldn't really say that I'm extremely shy anymore, as I've been trying to overcome it and come a long way since what I was. I think the most that ever happens to me regarding the girls you mentioned that don't seem like they'd be shy or have trouble talking to you, they only seem to look. Some will hold a stare, while others will either look away quickly or won't look at all. I don't know about you, but I get frustrated when people tell me to approach a girl...Really? Are you talking about the one that doesn't seem to even see me or the other one that can't say more than 2 words? It's tough for me because I'm not the best conversationalist in the world and I'm not getting much practice either.

    They also might be stuck on the idea that you are the one that's supposed to be doing the initiating. My advice, even though I'm in the same position, would be to first feel good at the fact that you make girls speechless. Next time you see a girl that seems to be shying away from looking at you, realize that she's acting that way BECAUSE OF YOU. See if it gives you a confidence boost enough to go talk to her. If you approach her and she's still being short, then jokingly call her out on it. I'm sometimes just blunt with people and say what I'm thinking, whether it makes things awkward or not. Just come right out and say "You aren't talking and it makes me sad. Talk."

  • If a guy is good looking and mostly reserved, people in general will assume that he is full of himself. Men make the same assumptions about beautiful women who stay to themselves. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but honestly, you will have to wade through your share of dippy girls to find a good one who will like you for you.

    The reality of life is, women are every bit as crass and vile as men, just in a different way. The hard part is maintaining your sense of openness and sanity in the midst of all the negativity out there. I think a big key to success in socializing in general is to approach it with a laid-back, no-expectations demeanor. Just try talking to girls as people, not as girls.

  • Perhaps they think you're gay, seeing all those homosexuals hit on you. I'm partially joking, however all you need to do is talk to them, just become their friend. You don't even need to ask them out, since you're shy. Once you become friends with the girls, one of them will be bound to have the guts to ask you out. (Make it clear that you are straight though, maybe tell them a funny story about how a gay man hit on you.) Once they ask you, just say yes.

    Good luck.

  • No not at all. I am far better looking than you, and most men. I never am short of easy non committed sex from beautiful women.

    • You look sorta plain looking to me with buff build. But whatever, you can't argue with results I suppose....

    • BTW I'm not saying you're ugly.. I'm just saying you are far far from being a Zac Efron or Rob Pattinson.

    • I don't know who they are. I am going to go look at myself in the mirror. brb

  • they think...good looking guy=player. It's far from the truth.

  • girls like honest and shy good looking guys. but not flirty good looking guys. they probably think you're out of their league. find a girl you really like and tell her how you feel about her. keep liking her and she'll know you're sincere.

  • i think only some of them dislike handsome guys, i mean most of them fall in love at first sight because of handsome face, am i right? but there are also girls who like handsome guys just to play around, e. g. for betting or get the title if you know what i mean, and yea being handsome can make you be called a 'player' which will make you feel uncomfortable. Just show them your true colors not for only being handsome, but your true personality :D always smile and be a good person to them :) it happens to me too actually, my friends even say that i look like korean actor Lee Dong Wook -_-

  • I think they're just being girls. They don't want to hit on you because guys are supposed to talk to them first. Just say hi, and they'll open up really easy.