Why do men say such hurtful things when there angry?

when me and my boyfriend get in a fight he will tell me he hates me he doesn't want to be with me and kicks me out of his house. where I've been living with him for the last months. do they say it because they really mean it or just to be hateful and hurt us?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's usually because the person is angry. Both Males and Females do this.

    When people get hurt, they learn to hate or say hateful things. When people hurt others, they become hated and can be racked with guilt.

    He's hurting right now, and he said something mean to you. Good job on not saying something mean back (if you didn't). Chances are he doesn't feel the same way about you when he's not stressed/in pain, he likes you, but right now, he's angry/upset.


What Guys Said 7

  • I suppose it kind of begs the question, if they're thinking this all the time, and when they let their emotions go, the truth actually comes out? It's like the saying that, there's a bit of truth to every joke, or the idea that you find out who someone truly is, when they get drunk.

    I'm sure it's to make you feel hurt, and make you feel like your in the pits, just because you're in the argument. And sure it's easy to say that that they don't mean it, but like anon said, if you didn't mean it, you wouldn't say it. Having said that, I've said things that I really don't mean, but it doesn't mean that I haven't thought about it, even in the slightest.

    I guess the argument situation, is a place where the true feelings come out to roost, because at that point, you really don't care how your words will affect the receiver (it's only after you realize the damage that you have done, and then start feeling guilty and start back peddling).

    Is he / she saying these things to be hurtful; no doubt about it. Does he / she really mean it; quite possibly...

  • My ex, has done similar to me, quite a lot. She usually says things like 'she will never talk to me again' but hours, days or weeks later she will talk to me. I find that if I leave her alone for a while, she will calm down. But I agree with xremz1217.

  • When I get in a fight with my girlfriend, I light a ciggy and I listen to her.

    Don't get this wrong, but it's pointless to yell at a woman, no matter how strong I was, she'll still do what's on her mind, eventually. On a different note, people are different, and nothing is worse than an angry person, I suggest you talk it over because I can't think of a reason to kick my girlfriend out of the house, whatever it is she's done or we're arguing on :) .

  • we don't mean to say this stuff we just lose it well this is the case with me anyway

  • it's a combination... when we get to our 'breaking point' (every man is different), we will do something that will let you know our disppointment level, anger, etc...

  • People tend to overreact A LOT. He doesn't mean it, but you should tell him it hurts you.


What Girls Said 2

  • In general we all say things we don't mean when we are angry at someone we don't realize the mean things we say until we get over it. Then we apologize and we keep doing it repeatedly.

  • they say these things to make us care. I know it sounds dumb but whenever me and my ex get in fights it gets outts hand. the things they say are dumb and they know it. half the time they say sorry and they didn't mean it but if they didn't mean it they wouldn't say it. I believe if they truly care about you then they wouldn't even think that and they wouldn't hurt you. sometimes its okay cus people have feelings they need to let out but not all the time. I got hurt a lot by the things my ex said so I moved on and I'm happy now :)