Sorry for the long story. I just don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and are getting really serious. I am a big time family girl. I think that it is important that whomever I marry that their family will like me as well. My boyfriend agrees. Since day... Show More
Most Helpful Girl
You're in a relationship with him - not her - that's the most important thing to remember.
Being the 'sister' on the side of your story I might be able to offer some sort of insight. Then again, me, and your boyfriend's sister could be completely different people coming from completely different places.
You're not her friend, you're the girl her brother is dating. She technically doesn't have to have anything to do with you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get along with her, wanting to be friendly towards her - but you don't need to try and become her friend. My brother dated his last girlfriend for a little over 4 years. I got along with her best out of all my brother's girlfriends actually, maybe because she was around the longest. But whilst we got along, I wouldn't really consider her my friend, and now they've broke up, it's rare I talk to her.
I guess what I'm trying to say is - she may at times be making an effort with you for his sake - but that doesn't mean she's going to appreciate you being around all the times you are around. It doesn't mean she's going to kick off and tell him to break it off with you either.
Sometimes I'd find myself not wanting to be around her when she was visiting, not because I didn't like her per se, or that I couldn't enjoy her company, I just felt like I didn't need that pressured on me. That just because she was with my brother, she didn't need to be my best friend. I had my own friends. So whilst I could get along with her okay - I wouldn't make plans to hang out with her or anything like that.
Just give her space. Don't think to much about building a relationship with her and just let it happen. You're insinuating yourself in a family unit and you become somewhat of an extension of her brother. I'm not saying you can never be friends down the line, but it doesn't mean just because you're with him she needs to instantly love you. If you think about it - you're someone who's been insinuated in her life with no say so from her.