Is a 4 year age difference a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

Lets say He is 19 and I am 23, Is it really that big of a deal? I have seen couples with 10-20 year age differences dating and they look happy! (most of the time lol) What do you think, Is 4 years really that bad?

[SunshineLelek]

Nah, not when you're an adult and you have developed enough life experience to make that decision out of good judgement. A four year age difference is a bad thing and creepy if the person in question is a minor. There are extremely rare cases where it's true love; most of the time if a guy is four years older than his minor girlfriend, he just wants some young, tight puss and he's manipulating her emotions to make her think she's in love and he probably can't handle a woman in his own age group who actually has higher standards that she wants him to live up to. That's when a four year age difference comes off as a negative, bad thing becuase it just looks weird like someone's trying to take advantage. But as you grow older, you find a lot of married couples who are at least four years apart in age and it really doesn't matter : )

[Asker]

Great answer! I agree that It is very rare for it to be real love, and a lot of people do take advantage when the person they are dating is younger especially when it involves minors. This is also why I wasn't into younger guys until I actually met one a few months ago. I really wasn't sure what to expect at first but was surprised at how mature he really was. I guess it just really depends on the situation, but I do agree with what you have said.

[SunshineLelek]

Thanks! :D Some 19 year old guys are very mature and very much men depending on their upbringing. I dated an 18 year old who just just brand new into adulthood, but he had that grown ass man nature because he had come here from a foreign country with his little brother to go to school. So he HAD to step into a grown man's role in order to adapt to his new life in a country and culture foreign to him where he needed to look out for his little brother. But I can't even imagine being with a

[SunshineLelek]

16 year old boy when I'm 20 or even having interest in someone under the age of 18 as an adult.

[Asker]

Oh yeah I am the same on that. I mean I do think it is OK to date younger men and woman but there has to be a limit. I don't care how mature you are at 16 that is not something that should be done. 16 dating 17 maybe 18 that is OK but a 16 year old even 17 dating a 20 something guy or girl is way different. Maybe when they are older and have experienced more then yeah but I don't know at that age your just trying so hard to mature that your vulnerable.

[udolipixie]

Is a 4 year age difference a bad thing?

In my opinion it's a 'bad' thing if the guy is the younger one as most likely if it becomes a long-term relationship he will want younger and bail on her for it.

"I have seen couples with 10-20 year age differences dating and they look happy!"

Egh likely those couples or most of the couples had the guy being the older one..there's not too many couples it seems where there is such an age difference with the guy being younger and they look happy especially when the gal looks her age instead of looking (much) younger. Tends to turn out pretty sucky for older gal/younger guy couples in my observations.

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer! Hopefully that doesn't happen, IF it does then I will know better next time!

[YouthfulPallor]

Nah, that's not such a big deal. You might feel more mature than he is sometimes, but 23 and 19 are pretty similar.

[Asker]

Thanks for the comment! I am actually surprised at how mature he is, he makes it so I forget that we aren't the same age.

[YouthfulPallor]

That's good then. I think intellectual and emotional compatibility are the real issue when it comes to age differences in relationships, so if you two click then that's really the only thing that matters.

[Asker]

So true, thanks! That is how I thought about it as well! It is hard to find a younger guy that can be so funny but at the same time can take things seriously and maturely!

[upsyndrome]

Cougar... rawr.

kidding

it's not "bad".. it's nothing.

[Asker]

lol, ha ha That's what he said haha! Thanks

[Jonny_]

Of course not, it's weird if you were 18 and they were the lower side of that... I dated a girl who was a year younger than me when I was 17, so she was 16... Obviously there's nothing wrong with that, but a lot of people were so judgmental about the fact I wasn't dating someone in my own year at school. I was like seriously? I just tend to do what I want now, people would judge me if I was dating the worlds sexiest woman.

[Asker]

That is crazy that isn't even a big deal! You are only a year older that is basically the same age! But it is great that you don't care. I can already imagine how many people judge me but You can't help who you love or like. I think its about chemistry and how much your alike. I don't really know but everyone has their own opinion I guess. Air five to you for being cool enough not to care though!

[Jonny_]

Ha *Air High Five Back* I used to care, but I realized that you can't make everyone happy. So I do what makes me happy, plus I like girls slightly younger than myself they're actually more mature than girls my own age, plus they tend to like me back. Girls my own age are half interested, and I'm too babyfaced for the older woman.

[Asker]

That is true! why date someone or do something that doesn't make you happy? Its not fare to you and its not fare to them to lie. Only you know what makes you happy so screw everyone else bringing you down. They should just focus on themselves. If anything they are jealous because you can get a hotter, younger, more mature woman. Other chicks are probably just intimidated by the fact that you would rather spend your time with them. Its your life not theirs.

[AveryBeck]

No, a 4 year age difference is almost completely unnoticeable. Now a 10-20 year age difference on the other hand is a little bit obvious. Try not to let others make you feel weird about your age difference, in the end it doesn't really matter that much besides having a few more experiences than another person.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer.

[AmongTheApples]

No, not at all. I've dated women 10-11 years younger than I am. The bigger problem, if you're in college and he's into the bar scene, is that you're not 21.

[Asker]

Cool, Thanks! Well he is a drinker even though he is only 19, but I wouldn't say He is into the bar scene. I don't mind a few drinks here and there but usually like to keep it at home.

[AmongTheApples]

You're welcome. And, oops, I speed read and must have switched your ages. You shouldn't have any problems at all :).

[Anonymous]

Of course not.

There usually isn't much difference between a 19 year old woman and a 23 year old man.

I've always liked older men, much more of a 4 year difference, haha! So 4 years is nothing to me.

[Asker]

lol thankyou for your answer! I am actually 23 and he is 19 but its all the same. I don't think it is that big of a difference either.

[Opinion Owner]

My mistake, haha! I read it backwards... still, 4 years is nothing.

[misupanda]

It's not bad at all.

I usually go for older guys.

[Asker]

Yeah me to I am used to older but I couldn't help myself! lol

[misupanda]

Yeah, sometimes younger guys are nice. Any relationship I was really happy in, I was with a younger guy. I'm not sure why that is. :P

[Asker]

I think it is because they are so chill and comfortable (most of the time)! I find that usually they have more of a sense of humor! I don't really know either but I like it lol

[moviedude714]

that one is an absolutely fine difference, but 10 to 20 years is too much for me

[toulouse]

nope not at all. ;-)

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer!xD

[toulouse]

have fun! ;-)

[Asker]

lol Thanks I will try to do just that!

[toulouse]

;-)

[Anonymous]

Is your name roxanne by any chance? I know this is weird to ask

[Opinion Owner]

If it is this is really a coincidence for me to stumble upon your question. Or just fate. I'd really like to talk to you, I'm happy for you.

It's me John. I want to hug you and tell you I am sorry. If not I made a complete arse of myself just now lol but I can brush it off :P. and I don't care what anyone thinks about this. But you do that for the ones you love and care for in which I really do for you. And the man upstairs llet me come across this question tonight.

[Asker]

lol, no sorry that's not my name!

[Asker]

don't feel like an ass, it happens to the best of us. I wish you the best

[Opinion Owner]

Lol it's no biggie I don't take myself too seriously, you sound like a cool chick though, and down to earth for saying that. Best of luck on your dating adventures.

[Asker]

Thanks loL Yeah I am pretty mellow I totally understand. If you ever need advice I have realized I am pretty good at it. lol but don't worry I have been there trust me. Best of luck to you as well and I hope everything works out!

[mike5150]

4 years isn't that big of a difference

[sweetheart71495]

me and you are 5 age difference:)

[mike5150]

Yeah :)