Search Results: he would no longer see me if i got married

This is my gfs account I found her stuff on here and want to ask these questions

My girlfriend who is turning 30 next month asked me when I am going to propose and I told her not for another 5 years and she said thats too long and that we've been together 4 years. I told her that I want to have everything together mentally and money wise before that happens and she says she can't wait that long because of her biological timeline. I understand but she needs to understand that i need money before we have a kid and a stable house. She said that she wants me to propose next year or go to fertility appointments. I told her I dont see the purpose in getting her a engagement ring because you get married soon after and I want it to be special and not a memory of oh we were so broke and poor. I want to give her a amazing wedding and honey moon and she said she would do court house and camping. But I am not mentally prepared or ready for kids or marriage and I told her I already call her my wife to other people so I dont see the point. She says im being selfish and that im throwing her chance of motherhood away because im uncomfortable. I told her I would give her a kid first because I want it too badly but I need to be stable. What do you think i should do or say to her

Long story short, I started facing forced marriage threats from my dad since I was 5. It started with my parents telling me how they got married and that it is the norm in our culture. I was pretty much feeling really scared and anxious, so one night in 1st grade I couldn’t sleep from fear and anxiety, so went to looking for comfort from my parents (mind you they were still awake and chatting to each other).

I had this “you’re my parents you’re not going to do that to me right?” as my actual intention when confronting my parents, because as a kid I somehow understood all of the downside of forced marriage including marital rape—which now as a grown adult with a BSpsych + master in psychotherapy and training in working with forced marriage survivors/girls at risk, I can confirm my understanding back then was oddly correct and logical for a 5-year-old kid (which I got no idea how child me understood the concept so well just from reading and observation but adults didn’t?).

Anyways, continuing the story, instead of reassurance from my parents, what I got was my dad becoming furious, red, and started yelling about obedience because apparently I wasn’t “submissive” or “obedient enough” for a Asian little girl. I was constantly seen as a disrespectful brat because I wanted autonomy, and they are more than wrong, because revenge is the main thing that I aimed for.

I wasn’t just a disrespectful brat, I started having this desire to kill and to destroy anyone that attempted to hurt me especially and specifically my family. When i was 7 years old the plan was final, how i want to live my life, how i will destroy people involved if i were forced by my parents to marry, how much force would be appropriate, who to hurt and not to hurt,… back then i grieved my potentially muddy future, and now i grieve for my lost childhood.

Anyways, i’m interested if you had a normal childhood