Search Results: special thoughts about him

I am crazy about this girl. We had a short but full on relationship. The last two weeks there was arguing then we broke it off and it was mainly her not wanting it. She did consider getting back, but felt a weight off her shoulders when we broke it off as she thought it could get messy, thinks we could clash. Rang her the next day and she agreed to take a break. Then she rang me back a few days later and rinsed me.

Saying I didn’t make her feel special, didn’t provide for her and loads of reasons, and I agreed to make the necessary changes, apologised said I really like her. She was like ‘not sure not sure, you’re a nice guy.’ Said she just wants to be single for a couple months then get back to dating a new guy, and to delete the account we set up together.

It has been 1.5 months with no contact. I removed her off of instagram as soon as we broke up. Told her to never contact me again - as I thought that was it and was hurt, bit impulsive. She hasn’t blocked me off WhatsApp.

I was a good boyfriend to her. I didn’t do anything wrong, we all make small mistakes but nothing bad. We have met each others parents, a lot of marriage discussion. I thought we got on soo well. I am messed up. She was insanely beautiful as well. Once in a lifetime girl.

Initially I ticked all her boxes that she was looking for in a guy. She recognised I’m a nice guy, kind, sensitive and gentle. We had a good connection. I was consistent and attentive towards her, emotionally available. Made tule to see her a couple times a week.

I am also a rare find and from a very good background

Reasons she left:

She thought I was a player and cagey with my phone and untrustworthy. I was cagey as it is personal, but always reassured her and I think I showed her my phone/messages like 3 times.

I didn’t make her feel special - because I did 50/50 when I earn more than her and come from money. I have only been working for a year. I didn’t buy her flowers, I did for Valentine’s Day and bought her a plant in the early stages.

Didn’t like how I was consulting family members at the end about the relationship

I didn’t lead sometimes and did make her switch her brain off. She has a point when we went on a weekend she planned it. But she also tells me she’s not a passive person as she’s a professional.

I feel hurt. It was my first relationship. If I could go back there’s not a lot I would change just cherish her more? I didn’t make any fundamental errors, obviously times where I could’ve been nicer. There was on time I shut her down a bit because she didn’t want to move in with my family.

I am a reserved guy who's humble and well meaning. I've never thought of myself especially highly, and I always noticed I was a bit different. Over the past three years I started to get a lot of attention in public; women lingering with me, flirting in public, inviting to join their circles at the gym, asking me for directions, getting a bit flustered when taking my food orders sometimes, passing me smiley faces on vouchers or writing notes on my coffee lid... being the person I am, (A) I was initially oblivious, and (B) I had absolutely no idea what I was meant to do.

To use an American term, I am a "Wallflower"; someone who is present and tries to join in but struggles due to hesitation. Now here's where it gets interesting; the frequency and quality of the women that are drawn to me is particularly high, high enough for people to question it when they haven't seen what I look like. Now, I never thought of myself as anything particularly special; sure I had a few genetic quirks, but doesn't everyone...

Well... that's the thing: My body might be more masculine and athletic in appearance than it should be when compared to my personality and lack of training for two years. If you want specific stats, here you are:

- Height: 181.6 cm (5'11.5")
- Weight: 60 kg (lean, low body fat)
- Horizontal hip width: 31.8 cm
- Thigh circumference (each): 48 cm (standing, firm raw muscle)
- Calf circumference: 34.5 cm (standing, very firm raw muscle)
- Chest width: ~31.1 cm (narrow relative to hips)
- Glute protrusion: ~20% of side profile (untrained raw muscle, firm)
- Leg gap: ~4.54 cm (minimal gap despite thigh thickness)
- Shoe size: UK11 Men
- Palm width: ~9 cm
- Palm height: ~11 cm
- Middle Finger Length: ~6 cm
- Hair colour: Natural golden blonde (never dyed, never styled, only conditioner)
- Hair style: Basic side part with comb as it dries after washing hair
- Moustache colour: [Same as above]

Most of my life, I've never thought i wanted kids cause I barely wanted friends. Looking at relationships I had, which isn't many, just 3.

All long term, but only 1 mentioned wanting kids. She did for a time, open me to it but infidelity on her part led to our relationship ending a little shy of a year.

Now as I try to pave a path forward for myself, I still have to juggle with the problem that male CF patients born in the late 1990s only live 40, maybe 45 years. And I'm 26 now, and way behind the curve to due bad decisions I've made in my life.

This combined with my status as being single makes children a laughable proposition. I can't imagine myself ever ready to handle responsibilities of being a parent. My longevity is a serious consideration as well as me being behind in life.

So I'm gonna lean towards best case scenario, I've got a wife with me when my time ends. And that is what I want most, a spouse. But what my last relationship proved is I'm somewhat amenable, if I love the woman. In that this children issue would not turn into some ultimatum.

I know better than to do something that moronic when the relationship is that special. I'd just have to allow our motivation for eachother to succeed to get me to where I feel ready to take that next step. Do you want kids?

I keep thinking about this.

My ex spent a lot of time and energy getting me to like her which I resisted at first. But then I fell for her and I showed her love in the ways I did like planning out thought out dates for her, getting her things which I thought she’d like whenever I saw anything on trips away and planning special things for her birthday. After a while, she occasionally dropped hints that she wanted me to show love by telling her I like her and that I think about her and she wants more of my attention and she sighed when I did things I don’t like (like go on my phone sometimes when I was with her) but she never said anything about thinking about ending the relationship or that it was affecting her a lot. Then she went away for a couple of weeks then she went silent then when I messaged, she was saying things like we’ll find a time to get together. Then she said she wanted a chat. I asked if everything’s ok and she said yeah, just wants to catch up. Then she seemed normal and had a chat with me about unrelated things then after some time out of nowhere towards the end of our catchup she said she’s starting to feel we’ve become more like friends recently and that she’d been thinking that for about a month. She said she’d discussed it with friends who said if she feels that way after a year it might be time to leave then she said she doesn’t see a future together but genuinely wants to stay friends. I had an inkling this was the case when she stopped messaging during and after her trip. 6 weeks on she keeps messaging me even if my responses are brief.

but I still feel confused, betrayed, angry and sad. And I don’t know how I should feel.