Boyfriend won't give me his Facebook password

[Anonymous]

Firstly, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now.we have been talking about marriage already. I use to have his password to his Facebook before and use to confront him when I felt uncomfortable when girls were flirting with him. This bothered him, as he said he knew what he was doing and would handle things on his own. Recently he changed his password because he thought I didn't trust him and that what happened on faceboook was his privacy. But I found out as soon as he changed his password,(as I was able to get into his hotmail account) he started adding a lot of people including this girl I made him delete because she kept flirting with him. What does this mean?

[shabudah]

What does this mean? For him, it means that he wants his privacy. He has a right to protect his personal information, including credit card PINs, email accounts, cell phone codes, etc.

He is under no obligation to share his personal information with you. Also, you gave him a little bit of an edge on you because he knows that you are upset and feel threatened. Let's hope he won't use this to manipulate you or make you feel guilty. hmmm

For you, it means you can be fined or jailed, depending on your state's law, for hacking/wrongfully accessing his private accounts. Also, you must learn to respect and trust him. If for example, you think he is unfaithful or too flirty, then there's a much deeper problem to worry about than his passwords and a long list of friends. Open communication is key. Share your concerns with him and gauge the sincerity of his reaction'' although, he's made it clear that his account is none of your business. Wanting access to his accounts tells him you don't trust him, and he doesn't like it, nor should he. I, for one, can't even stand my parents collecting my mail for me because I can't trust them to not open certain types.

Issue 2- You are at a turning point in your relationship since you are discussing marriage. It is natural to feel uncertain about something that was once intimate and personal. However, follow your intuition and hard facts, not insecurity and suspicion, to discover the truth about him and another girls. Adding that girl back to his list is a bit insensitive and cause for unnecessary friction. Don't ignore his action instead monitor it and decide what you can and can not live with.

[Anonymous]

I totally understand that feeling! I'm going through same thing. Except I never encountered any flirting or stuff. Matter fact, I rarely log on for anything except a few times I decided to add stuff to his page...which was private to public, just cute stuff between us. Suddenly he changed his password and refused to give it. I D-O trust him, with my all. But it's just the feeling of you once had something now you don't. It's not a problem at first, but it becomes one when you confront him about the change of password and he refuses to give it.

[Gizemgizem]

First of all what you're doing is wrong really wrong..

You should have a little faith in him, of course people are going to flirt with him as they'll flirt with you too. Just because a girl is flirting with him doesn't mean he's going to run off with her. The only thing that'll make him run off would be you being over-jealous.

I mean if someone did the same thing to me I would be bothered too. Personally I would never ask for my boyfriend's passwords for anything and I would never give my password.

[germanotaku]

Well first of all, social communities are just a mess. There are so many people listed as friends, they are just not... ;)

Next to that ask yourself: DO YOU TRUST HIM!

And I don't want to hear an answer like "Yes, BUT there is this girl and I ..."

The answer can only be YES or NO

If you do not trust him, you ought to tell him. Be careful though, because he might find that offending! Tell him that you really feel uncomfortable with him flirting to other girls - or even getting flirted at - on such social networking sites...

But honestly, requesting his password...

I would NEVER EVER give even my closest friends my password to such sites. They either trust me or don't and then they - and I myself - know how to act appropriately!

You may just ask him to tell this girl on the wall that he already has someone special to him and that HE HIMSELF feels uncomfortable getting flirted at - even though it is a nice gesture.

[Asker]

LoL, now I wish he was a little like you ;) ..I agree with everything you said and to tell you the truth I knew all this, but couldn't help my jealousy feelings still. And I guess it really is about trust, which I have decided to put more of in my relationship because I truly chcerish what I have. And about your comment on social coummunities, --it is a mess...THank You for comment, I really appreciate it. =)

[thegodfather]

Nothing - don't be so insecure.

That or you do not trust him whatsoever, which is just downright destructive in your relationship.

[Asker]

You are right, and me acting that way is descructive ....We had a long talk, I am trying to change at this moment, by putting more trust into the relationshsip, more trust in him, and more trust in us. Thank you for your comment

[Anonymous]

he hates it that you actually try and snoop with him...it doesn't mean people are flirting with him and that he would just flirt back too,you do not know what's on his mind...stop ur pushing him away,i can you guys won't even last long if you are like that...leave him his personal privacy he's obviously grown preson to even being with you..me and boyfriend have no access on our emails..if one of us feel insecure that day and want to see it we log-on on it and see it..but not have the passwords because what happens is you will end up thinking negative stuff and keep going in there to find something to find about..remember don't look for things you can't afford to know..

[shortie]

If you don't trust him, you guys probably shouldn't be thinking of marraige ...perosnally, I wouldn't want anyone finding out my personal details for my Facebook account, no matter what! Tht stuff really should stay personal and if you don't have enough trust in him not to flirt with other girls etc. then I think the relationship is going to be difficult to maintain, because you'll contantly be suspicious about what he's up to...

[treegurl]

So, you're saying you don't trust him. Why are you with him then. And by the way, do you even respect his privacy? Stop trying to pry, you are just going to make a mess of things. Imagine how p*ssed off he'll be once he finds out you were snooping around.

[pwl0lwp]

frankly it's poor practice to share passwords, regardless of what system it lets you access.

[hhaddow]

Yes it is very bad by attempting to alienate him form his friends you are committing a form of domestic abuse known as coercive control and thanks to a recent change in the law you can see up to 5 years in prison for it.

[Anonymous]

you creepy stalker. would break up asap.