I don’t know what to do. I love my girlfriend. She is a pretty cool chick. We get along well and things have been going great for the most part. Her trouble is that she didn’t take college seriously. She graduated with a load of debt because it took her so long to finish. Her student loan payments are crushing her.
Recently she took on a job in sales, but it didn’t work out so well. She couldn’t sell… they fired her. Now she is out of work and has no money. She is defaulting on everything. She hasn’t asked me for money which is a good thing, but it’s only a matter of time before she is kicked out of her apartment. I’m at the stage in my life where I want to get married and I’m not sure I can handle 100K more in debt. Her credit will be shot… since we’ve been dating all I do is help her. I wrote her resume’, practiced interviewing, studied all the companies she was interview at and made a list of questions to ask… Then it was her sales training. I helped her study every night. I do all her chores so she can look for jobs or study for her new one. She can’t seem to figure out how to get a career going. I just don’t know if I can shoulder all the burden. I help her out so much and receive little in return.
I guess I don’t know how to phrase my question… Is it OK to leave someone because they can’t support themselves? The thought of abandoning her at this time makes me feel like an awful person. I could support her if she didn’t come with all the debt, but with it… I would be broke paying for both of us. I couldn’t pay for a wedding… No way we could have kids for years… I feel like even though she is a great girl, she just isn’t in the right place in her life to be in a relationship. She needs to get her life on track first. I don't know what to do… I really love her.
Recently she took on a job in sales, but it didn’t work out so well. She couldn’t sell… they fired her. Now she is out of work and has no money. She is defaulting on everything. She hasn’t asked me for money which is a good thing, but it’s only a matter of time before she is kicked out of her apartment. I’m at the stage in my life where I want to get married and I’m not sure I can handle 100K more in debt. Her credit will be shot… since we’ve been dating all I do is help her. I wrote her resume’, practiced interviewing, studied all the companies she was interview at and made a list of questions to ask… Then it was her sales training. I helped her study every night. I do all her chores so she can look for jobs or study for her new one. She can’t seem to figure out how to get a career going. I just don’t know if I can shoulder all the burden. I help her out so much and receive little in return.
I guess I don’t know how to phrase my question… Is it OK to leave someone because they can’t support themselves? The thought of abandoning her at this time makes me feel like an awful person. I could support her if she didn’t come with all the debt, but with it… I would be broke paying for both of us. I couldn’t pay for a wedding… No way we could have kids for years… I feel like even though she is a great girl, she just isn’t in the right place in her life to be in a relationship. She needs to get her life on track first. I don't know what to do… I really love her.
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