My story is such a cliche one. I fell in love with a guy (Marc)who already had another girlfriend(Dina). Apparently Marc suspected that Dina was cheating on him so he felt free to date me. He told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. We got engaged and I introduced him to my friends and family. A month after this happened his girlfriend contacted me. I didn't wanna believe her so I asked Marc what she is talking about on Skype. He said he doesn't know any such person then hang up saying he has to call work.
After he hang up Marc called Dina. She refused to talk to him. So he sent her texts. She then sent me screenshots of these texts. First he denied that I ever existed. When she didn't buy that he told her that I was lying and had been stalking him. He would go on to tell her one ridiculous story after another until finally he ended up telling her that we are just talking. He reduced me to the level of an acquaintance. The part that hurt me most is that he denied I existed. That is the worst kind of betrayal in my culture, to deny that a person exists, that they breath and live.
She dumped him anyway. Then he asked me take him back. He bashed Dina, calling her a bitch, a slut and whore. Every word he said about her felt like a knife. I was thinking that he said these things to her about me too. I told him I would think about it. Please realize that this was my first time to love someone like this. I was so vulnerable.
The next day he called and said that he doesn't like himself and feels bad about the way he hurt me. He needed to do some thinking. I asked him if he loved me, if he wanted me. I told him I would forget everything if he said he wants me. He just kept talking about himself. I asked again but he just kept saying things like I don't wanna hurt you, I am not a bad guy.... That is when I realized that he didn't love me. All this time he had been using me as an ego boost because his girlfriend the one that he really liked was "cheating" on him.
It just broke my heart how duped I had been, how much of myself I had given to him. I started crying in the middle of the cafe. I put down a 50 on the table and left because I was so hurt. I put on sunglasses and walked home crying my heart out. Even now months later I cry when I least expect it.
I texted him that it is over. He then turned around and asked that I give him another chance. How I wanted to say yes! You have no idea how impossible it is to make your heart stop hoping. But I said no. I deleted every photo, conversation or address I had of him, closing every venue that he could reach me through. I don't use social media anymore because I fear one word from him, one gesture would pull me back.
I couldn't eat or sleep properly for a month. The only thing I could choke down was water and dry bread. For the first time in my life I cried over a man. Deep were the dregs of degradation I drunk over him. This happened in February. I still feel so raw. I have started dating other men but I have become so suspicious. I am scared to do the same thing he did to me to others so I only have sexual relationships with them. It is so painful. Don't give yourself to someone so completely like I did. Hold yourself in reserve. This ache isn't worth anything.