There was this girl who was two years younger than me, who I met in school 5 years ago. I never thought much about her; she wasn't particularly beautiful or athletic, but she was smart... very smart. She was a great person to talk to, and I saw her as an awesome friend when she saw me as way more. I never paid much attention to her, even though she always tried to get it. For three years she would get me presents on my birthday, message me everyday, try to make me laugh when I was down and make sure that I was happy through my father's multiple suicide attempts, or the constant infidelity in my family, or me losing my grandfather... who was more of a father to me than my real one. She slowly became a part of my life.It was very thoughtful. I had no idea that 2 years later the attachment would destroy me.
After three years I got a girlfriend. I was sixteen, and the girl was from another school. I didn't know that I destroyed my friend's heart like she soon would mine. Yet this girl kept giving me gifts, messaging me, making me happy... loving me... while I was with someone else. Then, after a year, the girl I was with hurt me, and my friend was there to make me feel like I was still human... like I was perfect. I told her that I couldn't get over the other girl, and my friend told me that she couldn't get over me... she confessed her feelings and flipped my world upside down. Then she told me that she couldn't keep this up anymore, and after four years... she stopped messaging. HOW I YEARNED FOR HER. I realised that she was the only one that ever understood me emotionally. I broke it off with the other girl... and after a month, I asked my friend to be mine. But there was one condition... After one year, since she might leave the country, we would break up. That's where I made the greatest mistake in my short life.
In that year, we became intertwined. You know when friends get together, they claim that nothing would change? Everything changed. Our conversations were nothing short of poetry, the electricity we felt passing each other on the stairs, or stumbling across each other in school, would make Nicola Tesla jealous. She became so much more than a friend, so much more than a girlfriend, or a lover. We never had sex (Sacred until marriage) but it never felt necessary. She became my better half... And whatever love an immature 18 year old could feel, I felt it. Then the year came.
She begged me, she cried, she pleaded... but I wouldn't listen... I couldn't make a long distance work... I didn't want to .We made a promise... we had to fulfill it. I felt so empty.I found physical solace in my ex, but emotionally I held on to the one who yearned for me.I told my yearner that I went back to my ex and it almost killed her. She cried for days, and I was in a place where I felt sick with myself. And after three months, my yearner told me that she was no longer moving. I couldn't do it any more. I broke it off and ran back to my yearner... I wanted her back, I would make her the happiest girl in the world, I would make her smile, I would make her laugh, goddamnit I loved her, then I saw them kissing... she no longer yearned... I was three months too late, and her heart turned... she found solace in another... and ripped my better half away from me. She was gone. I took for granted what I held in my hands for so long, and I let it go. What could have been, will never be.
To the few who read this, please take my advice. If you find that special kind of love, don't play around with it, don't believe that it will always be there forever. And if you do, remember the person that wrote this... that witnessed and endured suicide, abuse, death, hospital sufferings, infidelity... was broken by this girl, who was 2 years younger than him.
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