How My Fiancé Cheated & Dumped Me on My Birthday

My Fiancé Cheated & Dumped Me on My Birthday!

A few years ago, I was dating Nick. My boyfriend at the time of 3 years. He was somewhat of an extremist in terms of how he thought relationships should go. He liked to be free and do what he wants, and I was ok with that- because I thought “freedom” meant trust. Little did I know that his values certainly did not match mine.

On Valentine’s day Nick got down on 1 knee and proposed with the most beautiful ring I have ever seen to this day. I cried and screamed “yes”. Things were going well between us, we rarely fought, we enjoyed going on vacations together and people would often comment on how cute we looked together.

8 months later, it was my 22nd birthday! Nick had planned a surprise birthday party at my favorite Italian restaurant. I was dolled up, and the plan was that I would have a fun sleep over at my sister’s place with all my girlfriends, so we could be hammered and go for a fun brunch the next day. The evening was incredible, and Nick left the restaurant early as he claimed he was tired. He gave me a kiss good night and said, “Love you. I’ll see you tomorrow”.

How My Fiancé Cheated & Dumped Me on My Birthday

Call it women’s intuition or maybe something in the air, but I had a gut feeling all of a sudden. One hour had gone by, and I was dancing with my friends, but I couldn’t quite enjoy it. I pulled my sister aside and told her, “can you take me home for a few minutes, I want to see Nick”. My sister knew me well enough to know that something was off. She didn’t say much as we got into her car and she drove.

I asked her to park a block from our (Nick’s and I) place. Like the idiot I was, my sister and I walked in our heels down the street to my home. I saw a red Toyota parked in the driveway, and I could feel my heart sink. My sister looked at me, with confusion in her eyes. I said “shh”, as I slowly turned the key in the door. The door opened into the living room, and I didn’t even need to walk far- I saw a pretty blonde in a thong standing by the stair case, shocked and scared.

Nick walked out of our bedroom in boxers with his arms crossed. My sister started screaming profanities at him, calling him every possible nasty name she could think of. I stood there trying to hold back the tears. Nick had a cold, blank look on his face, and then he spoke. “Yeah, so let’s get to the point here, as I know what’s coming next- we are done and I’m moving out tomorrow”. My sister grabbed my arm and pulled me outside, “I don’t even wanna hear this trash talk”.

How My Fiancé Cheated & Dumped Me on My Birthday

I stayed at my sister’s place, as I was crying all night. I wanted to disappear and I wanted to make all this pain go away. I died inside; I didn’t care what was gonna happen to me. My sister went by my home the next day, and told me that Nick had moved his things out of our home. He even took the TV (that we both purchased), the fancy painting that he claimed to have bought for me as a gift, and that was it- I haven’t heard from him again.

When I say, I haven’t heard from him again- I mean it. He blocked me on all social media sites; he never even bothered to make an effort to apologize or try to get back together. 2 months in, my sister’s boyfriend took a screenshot of Nick’s Facebook profile picture. It was a selfie of Nick and the blonde.

It took me a long time to recover from what happened. I guess the biggest thing that hurt me is how after 3 years someone could be so emotionless and just end things without looking back. I didn’t get the closure I needed, but this certainly opened my eyes. I should have recognized that Nick took advantage of his freedom. All those evenings when he was “hanging out with the boys”- it was an illusion for me. I still wonder why he proposed… but how lucky I am that I didn’t have children with the man that I thought I knew.

How My Fiancé Cheated & Dumped Me on My Birthday

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nick did you a huge favor by so easily exposing his true self. And at your home to boot!

    These guys never change. I know guys who have been cheating all their adult life. Even tho they know the hell their actions bring into the lives of those affected they keep doing it.

    Probably one of the best "hidden" birthday gifts you will ever receive. It saved you years of living with a liar.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • better that you know his true colours before you marry him/have kids with him. yes, it sucks, but a few years of heartache is better than a lifetime of regret.

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What Guys Said 25

  • I like how people have commented that this is somehow your fault... you "not being enough for him" or "you chose wrong" doesn't hold up to "cheating is wrong, period." Just putting some of these comments into the proper context so you don't let them get to you.

    I think, with cheating, you either have it in you to do it, or you don't. Many of us don't have it in us. Cheating completely cheapens every intimate or special moment you shared. "Oh, you could've done that with anyone... it didn't have to be with me." The more scarce something is, the more valuable it is, so if it's something only you two share, that's pretty damned scarce, and also pretty damned valuable. By cheating only once, he literally made you feel like the biggest fool. "Oh, you thought that was special or something? Heh, you're so gullible." And what a coward too... Ain't even man enough to talk it out at least... Or shit, if the relationship was so unfulfilling for him, how about end it instead of leading you on for so long? End it, and THEN go get with another girl? I don't know... but at least you can take solace in knowing that she just hooked up with a known cheater. She can't be all that bright, and if he cheated once, he'll do it again. I mean seriously... "hey, this guy cheated on his girl to be with me... who's to say he won't do it again with someone else?" His morals clearly align to a high probability of a repeat offense. So congrats to the blonde thonged idiot who just took in a guy who is obviously a cheater. It's like letting a known thief or rapist sleep in your house overnight...

    I'm so sorry you went through that. But, don't let it make you callous. Being trusting and wanting to believe the best in people is appreciated in the right circle, and by plenty of good men. Don't blow your chances at happiness just because one guy took it from you. He's not worth that. Don't give him the satisfaction. You're stronger by forgiving and loving in spite of it all.

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  • A dreadful story, but one that is probably more common than people realise generally.
    I would like to say two things.
    1. You picked him. Perhaps you should re-evaluate your selection criteria.
    2. Be grateful that he has severed all contact with you and that this happened before there were rug rats snapping at your ankles.

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  • Sorry toots.
    My lovely wife went out with a girlfriend on valentines day, to a bar, picked up two guys, and fucked them. Her girlfriends' fiance got suspicious and tapped their phone and caught the lie. Wife eventually copped to it.
    Then she did it again about 3 years later. Remember the social media program MySpace?
    That was some 10 years ago. We are still married, not sure how or why, but we did put things back together.
    Trust but verify. Always.

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    • Good moto.

    • Show All
    • Why are you still married?

    • @Sara413 There were a lot of extenuating circumstances. A lot of crap for us both to work through for sure. But we managed. Things are good and have been since. That was over ten years ago.
      We've been together for almost thirty.
      We have a 22yo son together, and I have two daughters 25 and 30 from wife ver1.0.

  • This is really awful. So sorry it happened to you.

    At least you had the intuition and busted him cheating on you. Good, that you got rid of him now and you know the truth. I know what it feels like having that intuition.
    Please keep in mind, that not all men are cheating pigs.
    And please do not think of restricting freedom because the opposite of it is controlling.

    Best wishes!

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  • Guys are like that, why it's foolish to get too attached to a single one. That's one reason why guys generally don't get attached to a single girl (other than being programmed by nature to fertilize as many eggs as possible). Give it a year and he will be tired of the blonde as well and then she will also be replaced, probably near or before Christmas, birthday, or Valentines since that saves the cost and hassle of buying her another holiday gift.

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  • I think you got involved with a psycopath, they have no empathy. Sorry

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  • That's how god punishes females for rejecting good caring loyal nice guys for tall jacked douchbags, pretty boy players and violent bad boys.

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    • The horse is dead. Please stop.

    • Show All
    • Karma exists very well indeed and is a total bitch to those who make the wrong choices. You lot know nothing about me or who I am as a person and what you women have done to good men even my friends, eventually you will drive those good men away.

      Women are irrational/illogical by default, reasons why they're incapable of making the right choices like choosing partners. Traditionalism and arrange marriages have good statistics and less to no divorce because they're based on logistics and structure of keeping it stable. Since feminism its been a divorce epidemic and division of the sexes. This is not about control really, its about whats best for women

    • Be more attractive and actually caring and you'd have luck. Dickface

  • If he severed all contact, he's a piece of shit. Same thing happened to me with another girl. She got a reputation as a slut even though I didn't sleep with her.

    I'm thinking of pulling a Sheldon and foisting relationship agreements where infidelity will mandate buyout clauses, like a prenup.

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  • That is so terrible. My heart aches for you. He's a POS and you deserve better. Now, how long along he cheats on her? Boys will be boys. Find you a MAN. God bless! ❤

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  • Sorry for your trials and tribulations. Trusting the other gender is so hard after such an awful betrayal. Sounds like you definitely dodged a bullet. Good luck going forward.

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  • Seems like you didn't know him that well yet you accepted his proposal... not sure if that makes any sense. You were also 21 years old. Way too young

    I'm not surprised

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  • That sucks but I would personally still prefer to be in a relationship with 'freedom': if someone's going to cheat they're going to do it anyway. You can't keep your eyes on someone 24/7.

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    • This is true.

      It sucks that there are such shitty people out there like Nick who make it so hard for the people they've hurt to trust again.

    • Yes, agree but I don't think women should be running around crying "never trust another man" either, no. Just take this as a good thing so to speak: Op was "rescued" from nick... Now she just needs to find an unorthodox91 :)

  • Damn... my eyes got wet with this.
    Girls and guys, spend time knowing the person completely, don't just jump...
    Be friends first, be best friends after, be something more so that things make sense.

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  • Omg I can't believe what I'm reading on here " you picked him" it's not a fucking note thats due in 3 years people Jesus Christ!! She had no clue he'd cheat. If she knew that why would she have gone through with it.
    Its not your fault. This had to fucking suck but at least it's over now and you can try to move on! Your very lucky to not have children with him! Its bad when that happens. My sisters husband was cheating on her and they just had my niece 9 months ago when we found out! He was cheating way before my niece could crawl! Let's just say now if he would somehow dissappear our whole family would be happy cuz it took a toll on alll of us. I hope the ring he gave you was worth something and you got something out of it to get a new tv or something!.

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  • man reading that breaks my heart and reminds me of the two times i found out a partner was cheating and the emotional train wreck it caused

    it was the worst way to find out but he did you a favor, as another poster said, in "exposing his true self".

    i can relate to the pain you experienced and the difficulty you faced moving on and being able to feel like you could enter into another relationship

    hope you are in a good place now and possibly ready to experience new and better relationships

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  • This is why society needs to start punishing cheaters, they need to be shunned humiliated and destroyed otherwise they and others will keep doing it because they know there are no real consequences for it (except for hurting people which of course they don't care about). Scum bag should have beaten to within an inch of his life (to be fair that is my view of cheaters period, male or female). If you betray the trust of the person who you are suppose to be loyal to then what are you good for? People like this are less then worthless.

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  • hmm.. first of all I would to congratulate u.. well it better to not be with that kind guy.. at least he move with other people.. just appreciated urself and move on ~

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  • what a douchebag. Im sorry you had to find out on your birthday of all days

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  • An entertaining read. At least he didn't break character.

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  • I think the guy was just sexually confused. He deserves more pity.

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  • It is probably because you weren't enough for him.

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  • take a pic of you having sex with one of his friends and tell him his friends better

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  • the girl in that last pick looks underage

    it's mainly in the leg proportions

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  • It might not seem like it, but this is one of the best possible outcomes, better you know now than when you have kids and a house together, I have always wonder how people live with someone 3 years and not notice that kind of thing about someone, case in point, more than a year ago one of my best females friends introduced me to her boyfriend, I talked to the guy 10 mins and I told her this guy is cheating on you, she didn't believe me and didn't talk to me for a few months, then they broke up and everything..
    Hopefully after this you'll be a little better reading people, I'm sorry about what happened, you seem like a nice girl and definitely didn't deserve that

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    • How can you tell if someone is cheating? I've never been able to understand it.

    • @LoloWaye I can give you a few tips, but ultimately it'll be up to you to judge someone's intentions
      Everyone has their different way to lie, there are many cues that indicates when someone may be full of it,
      1) body language: pay attention to pauses, inflexión of the voice, movement of the hands, one of those things might tell you the person Is not being honest
      2) turning reasonable explanation into a trust issue : if my girlfriend were to empty our bank account I have the right to ask what's going, without being told I'm a control freak or that I have trust issues, if your boyfriend spends days taking to another girl you do have the right to ask what the hell is going on , and when he's lying he will be: you're crazy, I haven't done anything wrong, trust issues blah blah
      Maybe read some books on body language and stuff like that I remember back in business school I had a negotiaton class, they taught many ways to spot bluffs or lies, it was fun

What Girls Said 8

  • Ah...
    You were a tad bit young and hasty.
    Always keep everyone on your toes. Especially your loved one.
    You trusted him too much, and you were too naive and gullible.
    No one can blame you for making the mistake, as love makes us all trusting, blind fools, and this would be a good experience and lesson for you.

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  • Sorry to hear someone as low as him did that to you on a very special day. Just be glad he's out of your life and that you didn't end up marrying him nor having kids with him. That would have been worse.

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  • I'm so sorry to hear this.
    But thankfully this happened before you two got married.

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  • I love you. Im so so so so sorry.

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  • I keep seeing mytakes like this by anon girls...

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    • If I were a different man I'd say it seems like you're insinuating something.

  • I'm sorry for what happened to you but let's be honest 22 is just too young to get married. Wait at least till you are in your late 20s!

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  • This is one of those fictional stories which keep circling on here, isn't it?

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  • sorry to hear

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