Things You Shouldn't Say When You Break-Up With Someone

Break ups should be clean, like pulling off a band aid. You have to just rip it off and get it over with instead of slowly pulling it off. It hurts the same amount, but over an extended period of time. Be honest, but considerate.

Things you shouldn't say when you break up with someone.

1)"It's not you,it's me."

Things You Shouldn't Say When You Break-Up With Someone

The infamous most cliché line of all time.

This phrase just sounds like you’re twisting the knife to an open wound but still trying really hard not to make it hurt.

The worst thing about this,is that without understanding it you can leave the impression that there was nothing wrong with them or the relationship but you just don't want something at the moment.

Without wanting it,you give them hope for getting back together in the future.

2)"We are better of as friends."

Things You Shouldn't Say When You Break-Up With Someone

YOU.DID.NOT.JUST.SAY.THAT.

I get it you are trying to be nice or even better you actually mean it.

You want them in your life...But as a friend.

Well this isn't exactly the right time to tell them that....Even if there was a tiny bit of chance of you guys being friends after the end of this relationship,you just smashed it.

Why?Because It will make them feel like you are mocking them.

You just broke their heart don't expect them to just agree and be happy about it.

3)"I want to focus on something else right now."

Things You Shouldn't Say When You Break-Up With Someone

Yeah,okay.

Let's be honest here.

This isn't really the reason you’re ending things. If the relationship was working and you were happy, you would be able to have the best of both worlds.

The real problem is that you don’t want this relationship anymore,so you just do not even try to fight for it.

Your partner knows that,so don't you think you can just fool them.

4)"I love you,but I am not in love with you."

Things You Shouldn't Say When You Break-Up With Someone

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?????

If you want to break-up,this isn't the right way to do it.

This line is the definition of confusion.

None understands what this means and your ex-partner certainly won't either.

Stop with the phylosophical riddles and just tell them what it's really wrong.

BE HONEST AND CRYSTAL CLEAR.

5)"I need space."

Things You Shouldn't Say When You Break-Up With Someone

This one is another really classic break-up-to-go.

This line implies you don’t want a relationship at the moment like number 1. And before we start the attack you may actually be telling the truth.

But you should watch out with this,if your ex sees you flirting or having a relationship with someone else,they are going to start a whole new level drama.

And I'm pretty sure you don't want that.

Because they thought that you wanted space from EVERYONE not just them.

So...I'll say it one more time,be clear and honest.

-END.

AngelicSin


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Most Helpful Guys

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  • 1) I agree with you on that point as matter of fact but I always hear it that way: "It's you, it's not me". Why? Because they are trying to nicely say it without trying to hurt our feelings instead of just being honest as you have stated. For me it always means the opposite.

    2) This situation is the story of my life as matter of fact, and I have never personally parted on bad terms, but I got used when a girl tells me "I would love to have you as a friend" and ghosts just right after that. If you really wanted my friendship, I don't mind, I understand and willing to give our friendship a try, but why just ghost and say nothing? Is that what friends really do? I am still friends with few ex girlfriends. Nothing wrong. We parted because of Lebanese tradition and culture, close minded, racism and discrimination. They are like that so no need to try to change all citizens.

    Points 3 and 4 are interesting as for they are both based on confusion and not wanting to say honestly what they really mean, maybe they are ashamed, maybe not, I don't know, but they are lame excuses as usual.

    5) "Because they thought that you wanted space from EVERYONE not just them" - Exactly, thank you :-D

    Love & Respect, honesty, open to the other person, etc... those are good manners most people are forgetting nowadays. Society is changing because of technology. We are becoming people condemned by worthless online social networks. I was born in the 80s and raised in the 90s, and the minute this all Internet thing started to become a place we should hide from, I have stopped believing that somehow things will change.

    If I may add to your beautiful Take here:
    6) The Silence Treatment
    People ghosting and or staying silent instead of telling you honestly what they want. I am not psychic, I don't read minds, so it would be nice to use words and a language we both understand to frankly say how you really feel and what you want.

    Again, Thank You for this wonderful post dear Angelic Sin, you seem to have good writings, thoughts and ideas, would be glad to participate in your future posts and questions so feel free to invite me and send me messages whenever you want :-)

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Good article thank you very much. so many of the articles and stuff on this site is crap, badly written, poor spelling and grammar, no insight, just words. I have had to reject and dump men and I just say it as it is, no nonsense, no hiding things or lying or pretending, but a man who is reasonably bright would be able to work out why for himself anyway.

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What Guys Said 32

  • So being clear and honest.

    "I'm bored of you and never really loved you even if you thought otherwise. I'm leaving now so i can explore my options and see what other women in this world have to offer"

    ... Would girls *legit* prefer that lol?

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  • People say such insane things when they break up, all intended to protect thir own feelings and not those of the person they are dumping!

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  • Very few women want a real relationship and to find the love of their life, even that"s their go to line. When it comes down to it that is the most reason they leave is because they won't make a commitment. Then off to the next guy even when they say they want to live alone and be with no one.

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  • Some people go out of their way to make the other person feel bad about themselves. They have to justify the break-up so they will come out with any old BS to make themselves feel good about their decision. If they can't think of a good reason for breaking up they will invent one.

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  • I have had all of these said to me before. But you forgot 'I think we should start seeing other people.' or also phrased 'I would not mind if you wanted to see other people.'

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    • That's such a slap in the face... it's literally saying "I don't value you enough as a person to care if you're expressing your affections for someone else."

  • Its ok to break up and call the police and accuse him of rape and abuse, happens all the time ladies.

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  • All I see is pessimism and how cynical you think every person must be.

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  • Isn't that a list that could also be titled: "Don't act like a woman."?

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  • What's funny is that there is no way to make a break up less traumatic. The only thing you should truly do is open up and give honest reasons.

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  • My absolute best breakup was when I called a casual hook up once, and she told me "I'm in love..."
    Panic mode... "um with who?"
    Her some guy I met at the park"
    Me, relieved "congratulations, that's great!"
    Her "are you really okay with this, I mean this is kind of bad for you. "
    Me, "no if it doesn't work out, you have my number."
    Her, "you are the coolest person I know."
    Me, "Good luck to you, have a great life."
    Hang up, delete her number, then remember that she has a CD of mine, and she had borrowed money... oh well at least I felt something about it.

    Tell them the truth, you never know what is in their mind.

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    • You're glad she's not in love with you, but you're mad that she's in love with someone else. Seems kind of confusing.

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    • @cherryphi82 I'm not sure about that. It didn't work out for her. Last I heard she was in Seattle and single. Meanwhile I am married with three kids and quite happy.

    • You sound like an asshole...

  • lol I sent a text compiled from all these reasons and more

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  • Yes, this is very true, What comes to mind is the situation between the first wife and myself. We had been married for over 10 years had 4 daughters , she always wanted a son. Never fell out over anything except this, the stupid arguments were pointless. To make things worse after the 4 daughter I said enough is enough so if she wanted sex I would but only if I use a condom. That was the final straw.
    I had an idea she had had B/Fs while iwas away working but I thought it gets her off my back, silly I know. I came back early and they were at it up stairs. So I made as much as I could , she finally came down.
    I said you go or I will this is where it ends. To my surprise she said you are not leaving me with them brats. So the following morning the B/F came to pick her up.
    Since then only spoke to her twice , in court for the divorce and funeral of her dad.

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    • Oh my god... she didn't want anything to do with you daughters? How long ago was this?

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    • I can't blame them... Sorry you had to go through that though, no one deserves that

    • @winterfox10 It actually made things better because her negative manners helped to just get on. My girls know if they have problem I am there. had many a soggy shoulder from them coming and having good cry and open up whats wrong...

  • Thank you

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  • you were always a Bitch

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  • Ggggg

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  • fuk I've used all of these

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  • I have never broken up with someone

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  • its not you its me

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  • I will say these things

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  • how bout i can't take how crazy you are

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What Girls Said 10

  • You should have gone slow Here, dear. xx

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  • “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore”.

    I don't know to more experienced wars it sounds fine enough to me but I guess it has to do with circumstance.

    If you’ve been dating for 6 months this is probably just not appropriate. If you’ve been dating or married for multiple years it’s sometimes true. There’s a difference between romantic love, being in love and love.

    I still love my ex from over a decade ago who I spent years with. He needed help getting into rehab and I was there along with his parent s years ago. Years after we broke up. Being in love in many ways isn’t as deep as a lasting love for a person.

    Romantic love can end but you never quit caring for their best outcome and health.

    Further, I was dating my current partner those years ago when I was commmunicating with my exe’s Mom regularly to get him help. It takes a sign of a mature and confident relationship to navigate those waters.

    To understand that I wasn’t hiding it from him, talking to the Mom in front of him and just knowing it was for the good and not because I was hung up.

    Sure you can say, “I’m not in love with you anymore”, and leave it at that. But sometimes people need to know you’re still there as a lifeline if they are ready for help.

    I don’t end a 3 year relationship with someone I love and is struggling with an addiction to say never speak again.

    You make it clear you don’t feel that way and won’t again. But you will help if they are serious about getting help.

    Life is complicated. Just because you will never be romantically in love doesn’t mean you cut them out of your life.

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  • Yes so true. My last ex said he wanted space, and then started dating another girl right off the back. He was just dragging me on and said he wanted me on the back burner basically. I'm glad things never worked out though, and I totally hate him now but I also don't care about him. If I ever see him again I'm going to pretend I don't know him

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  • Breakups in my experience can be messy especially if not mutual type bit no matter what is said tbh. The best thing to do is be truthful I think whether or not the truth hurts type bit. I'd rather have honesty than them trying to sugarcoat shit to spare my feelings lol.

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  • Some of these lines are like, important to make them understand how and why I want to break up.
    But in totality, yeah. Some of them are really stupid.

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  • People complain about wanting the truth when the truth is said, they get all defensive, angry and blame it on the person breaking up. Most people can't handle the truth so I will go with up the above cliche's. They work.

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  • But sometimes some of these are actually genuine reasons.

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  • "I don't want to be in a relationship right now. I'm not ready. You're going too fast."

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  • True also when they say it’s all your fault and then say that it’s not so confusing :/

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  • when i break up with people, just swear at them.

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