I reached out to my ex


After realising that my life would soon change completely, I reached out to my therapist and my ex, mainly because those were the most important people in my life at one point.

Why my ex?

I had high expectations with my ex, mainly because he knew me better than I knew myself at one point and had predicted many changes in my behaviour and life that turned out to be 100% accurate.

I remember many conversations we had that turned out to be tremendously helpful for me. I've tried turning to him to seek advice numerous times over the past 2 years, but he hasn't been helpful.

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Unsplash
Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Unsplash

Why my ex wasn't helpful

I feel like my ex is very jealous of my current living situation and secretly wishes he'd be the guy on my side. I understand that, but he's the one who wanted to break up, so I don't really get why he's so jealous he can't look past his feelings for 5 minutes to give me advice when I need it the most.

My ex is the only one who had always pointed out in a respectful way just how crazy my parents are and that I'd reach my limits with them sooner or later.

Right now, with my parents demanding I split up with my boyfriend, I've reached that limit.

My ex told me several years ago that if I fell hard for someone, I'd no longer be able to adhere to my parent's standards, and I'm now seeing that this has happened.

I can't take it anymore, not after realising just how toxic and emotionally manipulative my parents have been for all of my life.

My parents have pointed out that they're doing better without me, so I asked my ex whether he thinks I'm strong enough to break up with my family.

His advice

He said something that probably makes a lot more sense in German, so here's the English version first:

Not everything that is family is blood-related. And not all that is blood-related is family.

In German:

Nicht alles, was Familie ist, ist blutsverwandt. Und nicht alles, was blutsverwandt ist, ist Familie.

That was the most helpful thing he had to add to the whole discussion, which I found quite disturbing and scary, given how much he usually had to say.

"Still, you're here, Baby, like a curse"

The title is a quote from this song:

For a long time, I didn't understand what drew me to my ex, but now I know it's that for such a long time, he was the only one I could turn to when life felt unbearable. This has changed drastically in the past months.

I no longer feel this way, I want to rid myself of the curse that my ex is, for all he has done whenever I've consulted him in the past months was to insult me or talk down to me.

Did you ever reach out to your ex for advice or was your breakup so bad you wouldn't consider that?

I reached out to my ex
30 Opinion