How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❤

How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❀

If you were a good partner and didn't cheat, use or manipulate and want to make a last attempt to communicate with your ex then read on.....

A lot of people will say "move on" , "give it time and you won't even care"..well that is not realistic when it comes to your own heart and an outsider cannot understand how you personally love that person.

If you truly love your ex then the above means nothing and if you're anything like me then you'll be thinking...

Could I have done more?

I can't just walk away without making one last ditch attempt?

What if they're not reaching out because they think I hate them?

Do they love me still?

Do they think we can work in the future?

Some of my other myTakes are conflicting to this and here's why... As I was in the midst of post break-up and I was riddled with hurt, pain and resentment and my head was all over the place I had a game plan to get over him, to heal and to even get him back. I read psychology books and used my past counseling experience to think of a strategy. I realized that is not realistic and is playing games.

Once the dust settled and I was thinking clearly I realized I truly love my ex and not for my own selfishness. If you genuinely love your ex and and want to give it a one last ditch attempt then I want to share what I did....Even for your own sanity to know you did all you could, but with dignity.

How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❀

1. The no contact rule is essential.

You've heard of it everywhere on the Internet and it is vital. Go No contact with texts, calls, Facebook everything for as long as you think is necessary. But how long should I do no contact? I thought no contact was to get him back as the hundreds of websites will falsely claim. It is not, it's for YOUR clarity. Only you know how you feel and the relationship. The below may help to give you an idea.

A. You had a lot of fights so they ended it.

In this case I'd give it a minimum of 2-3 weeks before texting him/her. Possibly 4 weeks if the fights were extra nasty.

B. They ended it because they lost feelings for you.

In this case I'd give it 4-6 weeks of no contact. When your ex broke up with you they lost attraction for you. If you were needy or clingy then it is vital you go longer with no contact to not be dependant on them. You need that space for yourself to stand on your own 2 feet.

C. They left you for someone else.

In this case I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but No contact should be indefinite. DO NOT CONTACT THEM WHATSOEVER. you need to let their new relationship run it's course and leave them alone with dignity.

D. Any other reasons are variants of the above.

ALL of above no contact periods should ultimately be until you feel better, are thinking more clearly and have ACCEPTED ITS OVER. if you haven't come to this point then you need more time.

If you've realized it was infatuation after no contact then great...

If not and you realize it was love and you need to make one last ditch attempt then keep reading...

How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❀

2. What to do after the no contact period.

Once again, a lot of people will say don't contact your ex if they broke up with you. Your giving them the power etc ...post break up my ego was hurt and I thought "yeah, he can contact me if he wants me, screw him"... Then my heart ached after I stopped being angry and the dust had settled and I realized that I wanted him back not for my own selfishness, ego or to be the 'top dog' but because I love him.

A RELATIONSHIP IS A BATTLE OF ATTRACTION AND POWER BETWEEN 2 PEOPLE.

TRUE LOVE HOWEVER, THERE SHOULD BE NO BATTLE FOR POWER OR EGO. IF THERE IS THEN IT IS NOT LOVE...So put your ego away, just for now.

How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❀

3. I call it "the olive branch effect".

Send a text after the no contact period, but most importantly WHEN YOU ARE READY FOR A NEGATIVE RESPONSE.

Like I said...

*if your expecting him to come crawling back it's for YOUR ego. Then your not ready.

*If you think this is a game plan to get him back then your not ready.

*If you expect him to come back and are not prepared for a negative response then you are not ready.

THE TEXTS....

Your ex may still be angry/ upset. The purpose of the text is to 'embed' good memories and good feelings about you where negative ones currently are.

πŸ’” πŸ’” πŸ’” πŸ’” πŸ’” πŸ’”

*Do not apologise unless you have something to apologise for.

*Do not ask how they are.

*Do not tell them how great your doing.

*Do not tell them how you feel...its too soon.

*Do not try and spike jealousy..It may backfire.

*Do not be petty or forceful.

A. EXAMPLE TEXT:

"Hey ....., Just found out that Beyonce has a gig soon. I know how much you liked her when we saw Jay-Z. That Crazy in love song is amazing.

Just wanted to let you know :) x".

The purpose of this is..

*To show that your thinking about them without being too direct.

*Your reminding your ex of a good memory you shared together.

* Your letting them know that your considerate of them by knowing what they liked.

* Your not backing them into a corner by asking questions. They do not need to respond, therefore they won't feel pressured by you.

*Your not coming across as needy as this has no relation to the break up, relationship, how you feel.

B. EXAMPLE TEXT:

"Hey ....., Just went to that restaurant I always told you about. Turns out they're opening a new one soon OR closing. I know you'd love it there. You should go some time OR go before it closes :) x".

* This one's similar to the other one except it's engraining into your ex's mind that they are missing out on an experience they could of had with you.

USE THIS ONE WITH CAUTION:

* This has some tiny hint of jealousy in it because they'll wonder who you went with but not in a petty, malicious way... he'll wonder if you went with family? Friend? A guy?

Where as, if your ex is the jealous type be careful with this one. You know your ex, so you know his/her thought pattern.

*This one has 2 options. Be truthful, DO some online research first.. see where you and your ex talked about going but never did before the break up. Tell them you've gone to a place and recommend it.

How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❀

4. Your ex's response

A. Put your phone down, do not send another. Do not check if they recieved/ read it.

Delete their number and leave it.

B. You now need to give your ex some time to remember the good memories/ things about you and forget the bad. This may take days, weeks or months.

C. You can now move on knowing at least that you did everything you can. If your ex doesn't contact you then it was just not meant to be.
How to Reach Out to Your Ex One Last Time ❀

5. The bottom line

I've seen many help pages on "get your ex back". This isn't what I'm saying... If you love your ex then you want them to be happy with or without you.

This is a last ditch attempt at opening the lines of communication without being needy or desperate.

If your not ready to accept that it's over or for no response from them at all then do not reach out.

If your waiting for a response then you probably want them back for your own selfish needs.

AS I SAID.. THIS IS A LAST DITCH ATTEMPT AT OPENING THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION. If they don't want to communicate with you then you have your answer for sure. But do not wait for their response. YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND if the person you love can't see that then they are not for you..It is as simple as that.

πŸ’œ πŸ’œ πŸ’œ πŸ’œ πŸ’œ πŸ’œ

BE WHO YOU ARE, No need to play games... remember you love them and if they don't respond or reach out after the "olive branch" then they do not love you and you can move on to someone who will love you wholly and completely.

At least you'll have no unanswered questions of where you stand. You'll know for sure but by keeping your dignity and integrity and can carry on being the loving, amazing person you are x


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Most Helpful Guys

  • To much bull shit, just leave the fucker where they are at and boom, nothing to worry about.

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    • Anonymous.. Yeah exactly πŸ˜‚
      Troll someone because there's nothing but love here, sugar x

  • I found the best thing to do is to write an email or letter expressing your feelings and forgiving them. That’s what I did with one of my exes who screwed me over big time.

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    • Did she respond to you?

    • No she didn’t. I had sent her four unresponded messages (all spaced out months apart) trying to start a friendly dialogue. So I was in that creep zone. Truth is I only wanted closure about something she did to me. I was honest in the final email and promised never to contact her again. It’s been a year and half since then.

      I really wished I got closure

Most Helpful Girl

  • Reading this MyTake was really hard for me for the fact that, I took a month of quiet time and alone time from my ex/best friend. And I did exactly what you mentioned on the texts, and he eventually messaged me back but then he ghosted me for a week and I left it as that. Then he messaged me saying that he missed us and everything we had, I gave him a second chance but then he gave me the silent treatment a few days later and I don’t know why... he wanted a second chance and I wanted too... so what happened?

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    • Ex best friend or ex boyfriend?

    • Ex best friend and boyfriend

    • Been there.. I know it hurts.
      In my opinion you didn't make him work for his second chance.. men, actually people in general value what they have they had to earn some portion of it.. you weren't patient enough to let him show you the actions of him wanting to give it a 2nd chance, you only went by his words... words are frivolous x

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What Guys Said 12

  • I disagree with the primary goal in this take. If your relationship ended this way, it's over. Do not reach out. Do not get back together.

    Look, if there is some extenuating circumstance that caused a separation, I understand that if these circumstances are overcome, you should get back together. They have to be legit though. Otherwise, just move on.

    The way I treated every breakup was relatively simple, and I wrote a long take on it. Basically: Don't call, don't text, don't hang out, don't chitchat... etc. Unfriend, block, and ignore. The only exception is that if your communication is for professional purposes or something more serious.

    What's the point? Are you trying for a last-ditch attempt to get an ex back? If an ex is an ex because they cheated on you, it will essentially destroy any hope for reconciliation. I you were dumped for someone else who is "better", what makes you so sure it won't happen again?

    I'm not saying that feelings of sadness and hurt are not valid. The issue revolves around the right thing to do. Let me put it like this: If a gator bites your right arm, you don't stick your left arm in its mouth afterwards (unless you don't want to have arms).

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  • TLDR. But skip the 'one last time' BS. They don't care.
    All of the reasons for the split have already been hashed out, so it's just time to move on. Otherwise you're just fooling yourself.

    And all that fighting? A total fail. No guy is gonna put up with that.

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    • I read it. Summary: Your ex dumped when you didn't deserve it and now you feel awful? Contact them one more time following these guidelines.

      No. Just, No.

  • Don't reach out to your ex, there is a reason its your ex and not your current partner. Going back to your ex is a common mistake, as people confuses comfortability with love.

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  • This was a really good Take, but I feel like it mostly applies to women.

    In my experience, once a woman decides it's over, it is totally over. They treat you like you're dead to them.

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    • I tried to do that with my ex but he just didn't stop texting me, we broke up because of our situations not because we did something wrong to each other we literally said that we still love each other but things are so hard to keep the relationship , I didn't want to call text or be on facebook because I wanted to just forget about him or at least love him less , but he kept texting it's been a year now and yesterday he sent me a 'happy birth day ' text I did thank him but it just made me so sad I wish he didn't text but I just thanked him because after all there is nothing wrong with that text, it's the reminder that he still thinks of you makes you feel awful specially when there was nothing wrong with the relationship.

    • Show All
    • @Lance1965 sorry for what you've been through, but be sure there are good women out there, I know it's hard to see that after what you went through, but there are good people on earth that's a fact, things will get better just dont give up ^^

    • @Ahlam12 Thank you. I am trying.

  • Women recover from a break-up 1000 times quicker than men do. A man might as well be dead and buried for all women care. Why reach out? Why do anything at all? It is over and they don't care.

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    • This.. is false? Wtf?
      It's been scientifically proven the average woman takes longer to move past a previous relationship then a man does.
      You seen like an INCEL member in the making, tbh. Stop generalizing "ALL" women and "ALL" men.

  • That advice may work in some cases. but only do it if it's absolutely needed for closure.

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  • Don't ghost your ex, let him/her know your last word. Unfortunately my ex ghosted me.

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  • interesting take

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    • I know this might be a dumb question, but do guys actually care once they lose a girl?

    • @heyzeuspiece yes they do but it's dependant on the relationship and how you behaved after the breakup. Proof is in the pudding... i spoke to my ex today. I didn't cry or plead or beg after 3 weeks of no contact. I was just honest and listened to him. He has told me he missed me and still loves me. We are now meeting next week x

  • Why bother? It's over, time to skidoo

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  • Thanks.

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  • Ok... interesting take.

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  • Great take

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What Girls Said 7

  • IF they left you for someone else do not bother - have more respect for yourself and do not waste your time. Even if they come back it will not last. There is a great place to chat to other women about love, latest topic is Would you take back a cheater? Here - https://www.facebook.com/groups/279539472814109/

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  • I think you are dreaming. If it has come to you or your ex ending it there was a reason. The time to work on fixing things is when you are in a relationship, not after it's over. One or the other no longer gives a shit. I see no reason to chew your cabbage twice and to revisit old hurts. Learn from your mistake and move on. Because I guarantee that even if you get back together the past will be an issue of contention still in the future and every time you have a disagreement you will be dredging up the old muck off the bottom once again.

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  • You don’t know how much clarity you helped to provide

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    • Honestly.. its up to you how you deal with things. But me, personally... i fight gor everything, always have and always will even it hurts me. Do what feels right for you x

  • Nice take

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  • Life hack: Just don't.

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    • Life hack.. πŸ˜‚
      This isn't a life hack or help page. Some people do truly love, real love and need to make a last attempt. To be honest.. i don't really want/ need to debate with a girl who says "life hack: just don't " . it's a pretty narrow minded and basic way of thinking.

  • Cool

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  • cool and easy to understand

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