How to know you're over them

tallandsweet

The first guy I loved treated me miserably and eventually broke all ties with me because being in touch was harming both of us.

Him blocking me was the main reason I made an account here, on G@G. So much has happened since then, but it was only today that I had an epiphany that showed me that I was over him and that relationship as a whole - more than 1.5 years later.

How to know youre over them

I was driving on the highway and noticed a car that had a licence plate from his area and realised that I didn't feel bad, hurt or emotional over being reminded of his existence. It's taken such a long time, but I'm finally 100% over him.

Even the most insignificant things may remind you of them, and that hurts a lot in the beginning, but it definitely gets better and eventually, those feelings may fade into the nothingness they had formed out of initially.

How to know you're over them
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Most Helpful Guys

  • InventorofWarp
    This was beautiful.
    I still think about loves from times past and it's funny 'cause I even think about the ones I had no intimate or physical relations with that treated me horribly. Actually, tbh, almost all of them treated me great, or at least it kinda looked that way at the time, they just manipulated me emotionally and then abandoned me as soon as the chance reared itself and I became "boring".
    Sometimes I wonder why. Like even the ones I was physically intimate weren't great, arguably worse. I genuinely thought Jen was in love with me, she really made me believe she liked me.
    So damn naive.
    I'm still a virgin so my hope is that when I do finally put my dick in someone she becomes the only one I think about and it all just sinks into the nothingness of the past.
    Is this still revelant?
    • I wish you the best in love & life. Sometimes it takes us a while to find the right person and that's perfectly fine.

    • Too long though. Sometimes it feels like my best years of youth were spent alone when all the other guys who cheated on or hurt their partners got to enjoy theirs. And at 24, soon 25 I'm still a virgin. And that's less appealing the older you get.
      I always wanted to protect my innocence and give it to someone special but I never really thought I'd be waiting well into my 20s. It's cute and endearing when you're younger but the older you get the more weirded out women are by it, especially if you're fit and attractive, they just wonder what's wrong with you and try to get you in bed.
      Having a crush that will never be also doesn't help.

    • Hmm - I think if you're attractive and in your mid 20s, it may be considered a red flag unless you open up about the reasons; you worked on yourself and your education and simply didn't care much for other people/didn't have time for relationships.
      I feel like that may sit better with people than the good old "I haven't found the ONE yet".
      I'm only 20 though and don't have much experience with guys.

      I guess my advice is don't make a deal out of it and it won't be.

      About the whole "best years of youth spent alone thing"; that resonates with me a lot... I had a relationship that didn't go well, he cheated on me and was just a stupid and weird guy. The other relationship I had broke me in multiple ways and after those two ended (the second relationship had supported me as a friend through my first relationship and breakup), I was REALLY alone.
      I feel like you grow from that experience though.

      At the same time, I'm so happy that I finally have someone to share the bright sides of life with. Life is brighter for me now, I can't explain it otherwise. I'd say get yourself someone to practice having a relationship with, then the whole thing feels less scary. If that relationship grows into a committed long-term relationship, great! But if it doesn't, you don't have to feel bad.

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  • silkjames
    In time u find out how strong u really are I understand for some people it's hard getting over another. I thought about all the great times we had like how did we get to this point yes some my felt and yes some her felt we just grew apart... Well we all moved on everyday a new day I feel great and I hope u do too enjoy 🥰and be patient someone special always comes along!!
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous
    More power to you!💛
    Sometimes, we tend to realise the emotional damage and also the need for personal healings only when we are sharing our bitter experience with someone else, either on a platform like this or to someone in person, and right when you pay attention to your own words while speaking or writing them and you notice the patterns and suddenly you start to question and wonder, “ why did I even stick around for so long or shame on me for holding onto something like that for so long?” and in that moment, nothing about him or her bothers you anymore. You feel healed and ready to move ahead. And such platforms are indeed a real help! 💚
    Is this still revelant?
  • hanony
    Wow bestie we’re living the same life 😳
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

15
  • Luopio27
    If this matter is the reason you joined GaG, you are trying to hold on and let go at the same time I guess.


    Getting over good and bad relationships can take even a lifetime. Feelings we feel for others is never a choice, unlike our actions.


    Maybe you will be the first on earth to discover the answer to the question that millions of people are wondering every now and then.
  • Michael49
    I always say you know you are ready to move on when the other person no longer takes up any space in your thoughts. They will always live in your memories but we have unlimited storage there.
    • I like this phrase! Nicely said

    • Michael49

      Thank you and thanks for the like. Feel free to pass it along and share your opinions freely

  • CallmeTheKnight
    There's always a process of healing that we all must trust. For you, have been blessed by the healing.
  • Zygum
    So did you find your ideal partner on G&C forum?
  • msc545
    good to hear you are feeling better 😊😊
  • Borntwofly
    Look your way
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