5 ways to know when you are really over someone

Society teaches us that we have to fight for our relationships and that we are failures if we can't make it work. Occasionally, we work hard to keep something alive that died a long time ago. Not all relationships are built to last, and dragging them on usually causes more harm than good.

Here are 5 ways to know when you are over someone5 ways to know when you are really over someone

1. You stop trying to resolve the fights

Fights happen in the even the best relationships, and when you resolve them in a healthy manner it can make your relationship stronger. But when you and your partner give up on resolving the fight and that anger and hurt continue, instead, to fester, it's usually a bad sign. Resolving fights usually means having good communication and compromising. When one person (or both of you) don't put that effort in anymore, it usually means you have given up on fighting for your relationship. If this is the case, take some time to decide if it's the fight you are sick of or the person.

2. You can see more bad in the person than good

When we first fall in love we are absolutely blind. Over time, our vision comes back and we see everything without the rose colored glasses. Usually we find many flaws in our partners, but we grow to love them enough to accept them for who they are. When we are mentally done with a relationship, we see less of the good in them and more of what turns us off. When we are over someone, it is almost like the exact opposite of the rose colored glasses, we instead see every flaw, every annoyance and we are repelled. This is usually a sign that the relationship has run it's course. Remember, when we first meet someone it's all fluff take time to get to know someone for who they really are instead of thr romantic notion of what we want them to be.

3. You lose respect for your mate

Respect is one of the most important aspects in a relationship. You cannot love someone you don't respect. It's usually very easy to tell if someone doesn't respect their partner; they yell at them in public, insult them and demean them... all unhealthy. Think about how you speak and see the person you claim to care about, if your actions don't add up, it may be time for your exit.

4. You seek outside love

Cheating is usually an easy sign that you are over your partner. But also, seeking attention from outside parties, even if you don't act on it, may be your way of dipping your toe in the singles pool. It's perfectly normal that over time, the grass looks greener on the other side, but when you start constantly fantasizing about being with someone else or you actually act on it, you are most likely no longer happy on your side of the fence.

5. You start caring less

When the little things don't bother you in your relationship anymore it's usually just fine. But it could be a sign, if something big happens (they cheat, or try and make you feel bad) and it rolls off your back. The same thought implies if your partner does something lovely and romantic for you and you don't seem to be moved at all. Passion is like a muscle, you have to use it to keep it strong, but deep down if you don't care it may mean that you have mentally moved on.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Confirming that the average boyfriend’s thoughts immediately turn to the subject during any period of silence, a study released Thursday by the University of North Carolina found that whenever a boyfriend isn’t speaking, he is, on 90 percent of occasions, thinking about ending the relationship. “By studying hundreds of couples we were able to determine that, nine times out of 10, if a boyfriend trails off in conversation or hesitates before answering a question, it’s because he’s currently contemplating how to break things off,” said the study’s author, Paul Hagerty, who added that even seemingly innocuous gaps in conversation caused by failing to hear something that was said or taking a lengthy pause between sentences are all-but-certain indicators that a boyfriend is mulling over how best to let his girlfriend down easy. “No matter how long or short the silence is, unless words are actively coming out of your boyfriend’s mouth, he’s likely formulating a plan to call it quits and leave you. Even if he appears to be focused on driving the car or reading peacefully next to you in bed, his thoughts are almost certainly racing with multiple ways he could end things right then and there.” Hagerty added that on the majority of occasions when a boyfriend says “I love you,” he’s actually preparing to segue into a rehearsed breakup speech.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Everything written is just so true. My ex boyfriend was a compulsive liar, he'd lie about family members passing away or being terribly sick. I tried hard to still make things work, and just find out the reason behind this. i didn't want to end it unless i feel completely sure that i won't ever miss him again. I started losing respect for him gradually until i reached the point where i would curse him for being such a coward, because he knew that i know everything but still didn't have the guts to tell me. Now i don't even know what i feel towards him. Not mad, not angry, dont miss him but i do know that he is someone who i want away from me.

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    • passing away, thats what happens during exam time... many grandparents die durin college exam times.

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    • hey dont be sorry but that was funnyXD

      i see the whole distrust with men experience start at a young age... its his loss=)

    • Yepp. @I_M_LEGEND

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 4

  • All of this is bang on the money, anyone who is worried about their relationship would do well to take heed of these points.

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  • Interesting. I enjoyed this.

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  • i dont agree with this.

    you can go through all this but be emotionally attached.

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  • This is great, it would be great to see what you think are signs that you are not really over someone, even when you think you are.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I identified with every point regarding my marriage. Well done.

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  • I knew I was over my ex when we talked on the phone and he told me he had a date and I didn't feel jealous.

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  • This is some strong ass truth tea.

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  • Really great article

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  • i think I'm a little bit of both cause some of these apply to me and some don't like i am looking for other guys but i still care about him and always think about him and why he ignores me sometimes and other times he doesn't

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    • agreed with you

      you can stil have all or most of these symtoms after a breakup but still be very attached emotionally and thats the hardest and most painful thing

  • Those points are so true

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  • I know I'm over it because I never think about him, miss him at all. Even when I told him to not contact me I didn't feel hurt or sad just good like a burden was lifted.

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