How do YOU know when you’re OVER someone?

[DizzyDesii]

I’m referring to someone you liked, dated, etc? Like whats your PERSONAL confirmation that you are just not into them anymore?
I just get this nauseated feeling. An extreme disgust when I think about their persona/mindset/actions and how silly I was for not realizing sooner that I made the wrong choice in liking them. Oddly enough, it doesn't often change my opinion of how I “physically” view them. They might’ve been a bastard but they can be remembered as a hot bastard. Ahh, good times, good times 🤣 I mean you can regret playing a sport but still shine the old trophy you scored once in a while #FeelFreeToList

Updates

1 y

By the way, I’m not referring to when the relationship is steady sinking. Im referring to when you have broken up or are no longer crushing on them. Like what solidifies it for you? And thanks to most of you for the answers thus far

Updates

1 y

Im asking how YOU know you are over them after you’ve been in a situation that resulted in no longer being into someone. There is no one that I’m trying to get over atm lmao so please stop trying to give advice. Besides, you already know how I get down 🤣 On to the next best thing ➡️

[Rosexøxø]

Omg I just said the same in my head as I was thinking of an answer to type out but then I read on and saw you said the same thing XD

def. Nauseated- I would say nauseous and wish to get away from them. They become almost a deterrent if they’re toxic or they become this person that equates to a wall.. literally like no emotion for them, and I almost feel “tired” if I have to feel or think of feeling anything else for them.

It would be going out of my way to feel anything for them lol so I don’t.

Sometimes I can become irritable and it can result in blocking on socials. I can be aggressive because my tolerance for them is beyond low.

it’s like you feel all the negative emotions that were never felt in the beginning, when you saw them as not capable of doing any wrong. It all floods in and balances out lol

You feel disgust, low tolerance. If they’re not •NOTHING•? They become almost instantly an enemy.

it’s either no feeling or negative feelings, on any degree. That’s how I know I’m over them.

Sometimes I’ll feel tired and bored out of my mind talking to them, and it’ll just cease. It just happens naturally.

[DizzyDesii]

I block/delete same day we end. Its the start of getting over them. I dont wanna be tempted to text back for more closure. And yea i have to think of em as an enemy too

[Rosexøxø]

Oh for sure and you captured everything about it perfectly. I couldn’t have said it any better. 💯

[provokeesmokee]

It's usually been a building feeling of unease and disappointment, then there's an inciting incident.

Most recently, I dated a woman for 4 months. We had good chemistry at first, but quickly I found she was too nervous and flighty for me. Each big moment for me, she missed and gave excuses. Then she revealed she didn't like touching - which is valid, but I love touching. So that built up distance. Her married male friend literally helped me more and was there for me to lean on for support more (and so was his wife - we're all three still friends).

Then the inciting incident was hanging out with her for the first time in a few weeks (I'd been busy with a move, she'd just started a new job), was her rambling on about her best friend in America. Even said that her dream was to leave and live there with her on her ranch, and that she was married which was a shame for everyone.

It was clear to me - but not to her - that she actually loves her friend out there, not me.

I blame myself - she was 39 and had little experience. Inexperienced people don't know what they like or don't like and don't have practical experience in communicating with a partner - some lessons you only learn by living.

So I dumped her the next day.

To make matters worse, we had the exclusivity talk in month one. I told her I had some friends with benefits, and if I should stop what I'm doing with them. She told me yes, she doesn't want to share me. So I respected that.

And yet, it seems, she never really wanted to share herself with me. What she really wanted was her married friend.

[DizzyDesii]

Her married guy friend? Im confused lmao

[Fabiloso]

You know it's not the same as it was, as it waaaas

I'm not one to trophy anyone but I can understand the reasoning. If I'd fcked any of the girls I had chances with I could see me building a trophy shelf in the back of my head I guess. And then just filling it with participation trophies.

And yeah I get a bit nauseus as well but with a side of a stern knowing it's done for good. Just a peter tingle kinda thing. Also a significant drop in inspiration from them occurs. Or it's hightened inspirations in evil evil ways. I was actually crazy, which also resulted in me getting GAG so yay!

[DizzyDesii]

Omg i love that song!!

[Fabiloso]

I do too thanks to walmart radio. Its like the only one I dont mind repeating throughout the week.

[iron_ninjs]

First of all LOL for the sports comparison. 😂 Made my crappy day better.
Second, I can't really explain if I can pinpoint the exact time I get over someone. It's like it just happens naturally, over time, and I just stop thinking about them. But I still do think about them from time to time.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i think its natural for something to remind us of them

[iron_ninjs]

It's always going to be like that. No matter how hard you try, you can't completely forget someone that's been a part of your life, especially if they played a role in your love life.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i cared for em so i could never forget that

[iron_ninjs]

I don't think we are supposed to forget. Because, for better or worse, they made our lives different, wether on a smaller or a bigger scale.
Damn, I sound like a fortune cookie.

[DizzyDesii]

And you sound hella nice. I can't give a hoe that much credit 🤣 They were a good time

[jennifer_bloom]

I think you are over somebody when you don't plan your life in a way that includes their presence in your life. Like when I dated the last guy I was in a relationship with, I was thinking in my head about where we would live and how we would survive the winter together, what type of temperature we would have in the home, what types of blankets we would buy, what type of living space we would have. It was a joint plan and not a single person's plan.

[DizzyDesii]

But i mean if you’re broken up with them. Like you know how it takes time for some to get over, how do you know you’re over em

[Pinay_ako]

When I see them with someone new, I feel actually happy for them…

[DizzyDesii]

Damn i can be completely over them but still never feel THAT at peace 🤣 I’ve never been the type to wish someone love happiness and joy. I’ll wish them a long life but thats it. I’m not that nice lol

[Rosexøxø]

I think this only happened to me once with a friend lol. That’s legendary 💯

[Screenwriter]

You can consider that they had good qualities, but that, on the whole, they just weren't suited for you. You can finally look at them relatively objectively, as well as YOUR part in the relationship that might not've been healthy. AND, most of all, you're ready to get back out there and meet new people.

[DizzyDesii]

Is this how you know when you’re over them or are you speaking generally

[Shamalien]

Well put

[Screenwriter]

I think what I've said is pretty specific. Hopefully you've learned from your relationship. You won't repeat the screwy things you did, and you won't choose someone who is similar to the person you just left.

[DizzyDesii]

I think you should speak for yourself as the question asked because I cannot relate to this since I have not been in this situation lately

[Screenwriter]

I'm not speaking about myself. But after a breakup, with time, most people can see what they've done that wasn't ideal and what the SO did that wasn't ideal. And they can also see why that person wasn't suited to them because of how both of them related to each other.

Some people work well together. People usually break up because they don't fit well together and both people have discovered it.

[DizzyDesii]

Okay that part I understand. Thats what closure is for. I often state what i’ve done wrong before/during/after the breakup. I have no problem with accountability. But I will also tell them about themselves. However, knowing we’re not suited for eachother doesn't mean we’d be over eachother so quickly. I mean thats probably why they have the saying of get over one but getting under another. But for this question, i was just asking everyone to state how they themselves know when they’re over someone. If you have nothing personal
to share, fair enough.

[Screenwriter]

Then, I've got to ask you something. Did your telling them about what you thought they did wrong do anything for the breakup? I'm asking because my thoughts are that if you've had to resort to breaking up the other person was not able to acknowledge what they did wrong, in your opinion, WAS wrong... Comments on that?

[Screenwriter]

and this is COMPLETELY personal!!!

[DizzyDesii]

I mean you haven't even answered my question, but i love questionnaires so bombs away. I dont tell dudes what I THINK they did wrong. I show them what they did wrong. I take notes and keep receipts. I can tell him where he was at, at what time, what he said, and how it made me feel. Then I will give him the floor to explain himself. If you can’t come correct with a good reason, I’m out. My foot was already halfway out the door because I’d likely been warning him at least 2-3 times before what I was not cool with. If the behavior proceeds, he clearly doesn't get it or respect me, so Ima bounce. I just want that closure before the door closes. What im referring to with what i said above is when I KNOW its over. This isn't one of those small arguments that we need to talk out before bed. There’s no more “working it out”. When I know im over someone, I feel nauseated and a certain disgust. But I lay it all on the table and have a mature conversation. If the guy gave a sorry excuse and begs me to stay, then I become immature and resort to hurtful words so that he’ll never want me again. I dont want someone to want me if i dont want them. It just is what it is

[ohsheeT]

Wow that was just so real and deep dann it I was having such a good day lol
I thing it's been about 4 years now and I felt your every word it took me right back to that long 7 months if getting her out if my house. Now I know why I'm so standbackish if that a word lol . My stomach is even turning LOL damn I felt that one deep
But yah what you said

[DizzyDesii]

I think its standoffish or reserved? Unless thats not the same lol

[Potteplante]

If an indivual, has done something to feel disgusted by (like a lot of the indivuals I've had relations with have done) - the icky feelings didn't arrive when I got over them or the situation but they went away.

I know I'm over someone - or something when they just become a quick thought in my everyday life. When I don't linger on the memories and feelings surrounding that indivual & the circumstances of our relation.

[DizzyDesii]

Totally get it

[Jaximus-Lion]

I have built this mind set for me in many years where we end things i just move on , it will be hard for 2 weeks then it's over. I don't make a big mess of it, even if i see them later i would just say hi and go on. And EX for me means (SHIFT + DELETE) gone

[DizzyDesii]

At least you mourn for 2 weeks. I’ll be lucky to still be sad by day 2 🤣

[Jaximus-Lion]

I am passionate guy 🤷‍♂️. For some stupid reason! I am a nice guy, patient, loyal, beard and sexy 😁.

[DizzyDesii]

Im passionate too. I just so passionately move on to the next guy lmao

[Jaximus-Lion]

🤣 i thought you would say that

[electromagnetic]

Me personally, it’s like something just shuts off in my mind. I end up finding them incredibly icky.

My ex, I honestly ghosted him after a year of being together. Minus the fact that I knew it was toxic, I also knew it wasn’t gonna amount to anything. Not with cheaters. So one day, I packed up my apartment and moved elsewhere. Blocked his number and carried on like nothing happened.

[DizzyDesii]

Damn y'all lived together so that was next level ghosting 🤣 straight Savage

[electromagnetic]

I took my Ls like a champ that time 😂

[DizzyDesii]

Girl that ain't an L. Thats a straight W

[sheenagwapa]

when that person is replace in my heart... well not really replace but there's doubt because usually i can easily tell whose name my heart is screaming but when it's already doubting and i'm making comparison. the level of fondness just change. it's just bot the same.

[DizzyDesii]

Ooo thats deep

[Anpu23]

I'm not sure I get to this point with most of my relationships. Instead it's that the relationship didn't work, not them. we didn't work out together for whatever reasons (ex's are ex's for reasons), but that doesn't mean that they aren't still a cool person.

[DizzyDesii]

I mean they can be cool, just away from me lmao

[TrillXHippy]

Once I break up with someone or someone breaks up with me then she’s forgotten

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao i wish we all had this tool

[Justneedtokno]

When you see or think about them, and it doesn’t phase you, you’ll always fill some thing for that person, and may even love that person but you know that they’re not the person for you and you understand the reasons why you did not continue to pursue being with them

[DizzyDesii]

I love the unphased feeling

[kellytheman]

I guess when I am with someone else or I don't think about that person as much. I might be on the rebound at first still thinking of her when I have sex with another though. It does take a little longer if course if it was a long relationship but I have been able to get over it.

[DizzyDesii]

Why have sex if she's still on your mind

[kellytheman]

Sometimes it might ease the pain or just it might help to get her off my mind. I think and guys and girls handle a breakup differently.

[SunnyRS]

I am not good at getting over someone, so I just try to block them from my mind. I have only tried dating someone whose personality I liked but it didn't work out between us, so there is nothing I can think wrong about them.
That makes it difficult to get over them.
It has happened to me three four times now, I need to think of a way to get over them.

[DizzyDesii]

Damn i thought i replied to this earlier. Now im wondering where my opinion to you went. I mightve posted it to someone below 🤣

[SunnyRS]

What did you reply?
And I think you replied to my opinion on the other question 😅😅😅

[DizzyDesii]

Oh yea they looked similar

[Twalli]

I can only refer to crushes, since I am still dating my first girlfriend. It's really when I see or think about them I don't have the same reaction.

I didn't even recognize a former crush at first I saw about half a month ago. Granted due to COVID-19 I hadn't sern her for several years, but I recognized other people.

[DizzyDesii]

Was it weight gain/loss that made her unrecognizable? Or just no attraction

[Twalli]

No attraction. I didn't realize it was gone until I saw her and didn't recognize her. I'm glad she introduced herself again. I don't think she knew I didn't recgonize her.

[mandyfire98]

I just literally feel no attraction to them anymore. Like nothing at all. No desire for them, no passion, I just look at them like any normal person. That's when things end well too. If it ends badly then I look at them with utter disgust.

[DizzyDesii]

Yep i can relate

[God_of_Thunder]

You mean after you've already broken up?

For me, it's when they text/call me weeks or months later, asking if we can talk, or see each other, and my first thought is, "Nah; I'm good."

[DizzyDesii]

Yea after youve already broken up

[DizzyDesii]

And i agree with that response. Just went through that. And its like ew why now 🤣 I’m happy, leave me alone

[God_of_Thunder]

So did I, which is actually why I said it.

Like, "Nope; you're a part of my past. Stay there."

[Gramkabir]

It depends on how you've ended up. If you ended up badly and later you've no feelings left like feeling good or hate then you'll realize you've over him or her.

If you ended up in good terms, then you too should have the same feelings. But staying as a friend or cherishing the memories might you wanna go back meaning you've not over him or her completely.

[DizzyDesii]

Im asking you about yourself

[RobT312]

I typically shut down. I totally turn off. No emotions or physical attraction for them anymore. Breakups for me were never that bad because I essentially get grossed out by them.

[DizzyDesii]

Shit i would love if i didn't still find them physically attractive lol! But i can't deny if someone looks good, no matter how much i may dislike em

[RobT312]

That’s true…that can be tough, but me not wanting anything to do with them overrides their looks!

[RavVid]

There is a strong feeling, it isn't worth the effort I expend. Similarly to your "hot bastard" I might retain total respect for their bodies.

[DizzyDesii]

Hahaha

[LittleSally]

You don't think about them anymore + the fact that they're with someone else doesn't bother you.

[DizzyDesii]

Its like i know people move on but i still dont wanna see it. I can be happily married to the guy of my dreams but i still dont wanna look over and see an ex with someone new. Idc ig theyre with someone else. I just dont wanna see it lmao

[LittleSally]

Yes, I definitely understand that. It can still sting, but when it doesn't anymore then you know you've evolved. :D