How do YOU know when you’re OVER someone?

Question

I’m referring to someone you liked, dated, etc? Like whats your PERSONAL confirmation that you are just not into them anymore?  I just get this nauseated feeling. An extreme disgust when I think about their persona/mindset/actions and how silly I was for not realizing sooner that I made the wrong choice in liking them. Oddly enough, it doesn't often change my opinion of how I “physically” view them. They might’ve been a bastard but they can be remembered as a hot bastard. Ahh, good times, good times 🤣 I mean you can regret playing a sport but still shine the old trophy you scored once in a while #FeelFreeToList

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

It's usually been a building feeling of unease and disappointment, then there's an inciting incident.

Most recently, I dated a woman for 4 months. We had good chemistry at first, but quickly I found she was too nervous and flighty for me. Each big moment for me, she missed and gave excuses. Then she revealed she didn't like touching - which is valid, but I love touching. So that built up distance. Her married male friend literally helped me more and was there for me to lean on for support more (and so was his wife - we're all three still friends).

Then the inciting incident was hanging out with her for the first time in a few weeks (I'd been busy with a move, she'd just started a new job), was her rambling on about her best friend in America. Even said that her dream was to leave and live there with her on her ranch, and that she was married which was a shame for everyone.

It was clear to me - but not to her - that she actually loves her friend out there, not me.

I blame myself - she was 39 and had little experience. Inexperienced people don't know what they like or don't like and don't have practical experience in communicating with a partner - some lessons you only learn by living.

So I dumped her the next day.

To make matters worse, we had the exclusivity talk in month one. I told her I had some friends with benefits, and if I should stop what I'm doing with them. She told me yes, she doesn't want to share me. So I respected that.

And yet, it seems, she never really wanted to share herself with me. What she really wanted was her married friend.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

Omg I just said the same in my head as I was thinking of an answer to type out but then I read on and saw you said the same thing XD

def. Nauseated- I would say nauseous and wish to get away from them. They become almost a deterrent if they’re toxic or they become this person that equates to a wall.. literally like no emotion for them, and I almost feel “tired” if I have to feel or think of feeling anything else for them.

It would be going out of my way to feel anything for them lol so I don’t.

Sometimes I can become irritable and it can result in blocking on socials. I can be aggressive because my tolerance for them is beyond low.

it’s like you feel all the negative emotions that were never felt in the beginning, when you saw them as not capable of doing any wrong. It all floods in and balances out lol

You feel disgust, low tolerance. If they’re not •NOTHING•? They become almost instantly an enemy.

it’s either no feeling or negative feelings, on any degree. That’s how I know I’m over them.

Sometimes I’ll feel tired and bored out of my mind talking to them, and it’ll just cease. It just happens naturally.

Fabiloso · Accepted Answer

You know it's not the same as it was, as it waaaas

I'm not one to trophy anyone but I can understand the reasoning. If I'd fcked any of the girls I had chances with I could see me building a trophy shelf in the back of my head I guess. And then just filling it with participation trophies.

And yeah I get a bit nauseus as well but with a side of a stern knowing it's done for good. Just a peter tingle kinda thing. Also a significant drop in inspiration from them occurs. Or it's hightened inspirations in evil evil ways. I was actually crazy, which also resulted in me getting GAG so yay!

iron_ninjs · Accepted Answer

First of all LOL for the sports comparison. 😂 Made my crappy day better.
Second, I can't really explain if I can pinpoint the exact time I get over someone. It's like it just happens naturally, over time, and I just stop thinking about them. But I still do think about them from time to time.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think you are over somebody when you don't plan your life in a way that includes their presence in your life. Like when I dated the last guy I was in a relationship with, I was thinking in my head about where we would live and how we would survive the winter together, what type of temperature we would have in the home, what types of blankets we would buy, what type of living space we would have. It was a joint plan and not a single person's plan.

Pinay_ako · Answer

When I see them with someone new, I feel actually happy for them…

Screenwriter · Answer

You can consider that they had good qualities, but that, on the whole, they just weren't suited for you. You can finally look at them relatively objectively, as well as YOUR part in the relationship that might not've been healthy. AND, most of all, you're ready to get back out there and meet new people.

ohsheeT · Answer

Wow that was just so real and deep dann it I was having such a good day lol
I thing it's been about 4 years now and I felt your every word it took me right back to that long 7 months if getting her out if my house. Now I know why I'm so standbackish if that a word lol . My stomach is even turning LOL damn I felt that one deep
But yah what you said

Potteplante · Answer

If an indivual, has done something to feel disgusted by (like a lot of the indivuals I've had relations with have done) - the icky feelings didn't arrive when I got over them or the situation but they went away.

I know I'm over someone - or something when they just become a quick thought in my everyday life. When I don't linger on the memories and feelings surrounding that indivual & the circumstances of our relation.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I have built this mind set for me in many years where we end things i just move on , it will be hard for 2 weeks then it's over. I don't make a big mess of it, even if i see them later i would just say hi and go on. And EX for me means (SHIFT + DELETE) gone

electromagnetic · Answer

Me personally, it’s like something just shuts off in my mind. I end up finding them incredibly icky.

My ex, I honestly ghosted him after a year of being together. Minus the fact that I knew it was toxic, I also knew it wasn’t gonna amount to anything. Not with cheaters. So one day, I packed up my apartment and moved elsewhere. Blocked his number and carried on like nothing happened.

sheenagwapa · Answer

when that person is replace in my heart... well not really replace but there's doubt because usually i can easily tell whose name my heart is screaming but when it's already doubting and i'm making comparison. the level of fondness just change. it's just bot the same.

Anpu23 · Answer

I'm not sure I get to this point with most of my relationships. Instead it's that the relationship didn't work, not them. we didn't work out together for whatever reasons (ex's are ex's for reasons), but that doesn't mean that they aren't still a cool person.

TrillXHippy · Answer

Once I break up with someone or someone breaks up with me then she’s forgotten

Justneedtokno · Answer

When you see or think about them, and it doesn’t phase you, you’ll always fill some thing for that person, and may even love that person but you know that they’re not the person for you and you understand the reasons why you did not continue to pursue being with them

kellytheman · Answer

I guess when I am with someone else or I don't think about that person as much. I might be on the rebound at first still thinking of her when I have sex with another though. It does take a little longer if course if it was a long relationship but I have been able to get over it.

SunnyRS · Answer

I am not good at getting over someone, so I just try to block them from my mind. I have only tried dating someone whose personality I liked but it didn't work out between us, so there is nothing I can think wrong about them.
That makes it difficult to get over them.
It has happened to me three four times now, I need to think of a way to get over them.

Twalli · Answer

I can only refer to crushes, since I am still dating my first girlfriend. It's really when I see or think about them I don't have the same reaction.

I didn't even recognize a former crush at first I saw about half a month ago. Granted due to COVID-19 I hadn't sern her for several years, but I recognized other people.

mandyfire98 · Answer

I just literally feel no attraction to them anymore. Like nothing at all. No desire for them, no passion, I just look at them like any normal person. That's when things end well too. If it ends badly then I look at them with utter disgust.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

You mean after you've already broken up? For me, it's when they text/call me weeks or months later, asking if we can talk, or see each other, and my first thought is, "Nah; I'm good."

Gramkabir · Answer

It depends on how you've ended up. If you ended up badly and later you've no feelings left like feeling good or hate then you'll realize you've over him or her.

If you ended up in good terms, then you too should have the same feelings. But staying as a friend or cherishing the memories might you wanna go back meaning you've not over him or her completely.

RobT312 · Answer

I typically shut down. I totally turn off. No emotions or physical attraction for them anymore. Breakups for me were never that bad because I essentially get grossed out by them.

RavVid · Answer

There is a strong feeling, it isn't worth the effort I expend. Similarly to your "hot bastard" I might retain total respect for their bodies.

LittleSally · Answer

You don't think about them anymore + the fact that they're with someone else doesn't bother you.

KingslayerC · Answer

The minute I don't want to smash anymore. Which is typically before I break up with them, so it's pretty easy for me.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Memory without emotions, becomes a lesson.  Now everything is a memory, without any more emotions attached.

LostandFound__x · Answer

Picture them married to another person or having a baby with another person. Does it bother you?  If not, then you are over them.

beebella · Answer

When I realize that I haven't thought about them in a long time.

coolbreeze · Answer

When your finally able to let go of the past thoughts about them.

lilyanony1 · Answer

Don't think about them. I finally threw away his toothbrush

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I know when I stop thinking about them at all or even forget they existed.

ariadneR · Answer

For me, it's when I can look at them or see them and there's nothing there. They're just another stranger that I couldn't give 2 fucks about

Sarahr123 · Answer

I would know I am over them if it would not make me jealous to see them with someone else.

Pink2000 · Answer

I get annoyed with every little thing they do. It could be the simplest of things like the way they breathe or the way they chew.

nawtee_me · Answer

I think you know it is over when you see a post of theirs or and answer to a post of yours or even someone mentioning their name and you go, "uh, okay..." and...

TallAnon · Answer

Personally I don't know if you ever do, emotions may dull and you may rationalize all you want, but your memories are permanent. This goes for everything.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

The moment I see this person below me? (not meaning this in a geometric way...)

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

When I can talk about him like I can talk about the weather.

AlexEfron · Answer

Someone else is polishing your trophy now 🤣. How do I know I'm over someone? I know because it's NEVER.

justabuddy · Answer

It's like an addiction. When you no longer need to see them, hear them, etc...  Kind of like... yeah, the cigarette was bad for me. I'm over it.

Lauliss · Answer

For me, it's when you don't feel sadness/anger anymore when you remember that person.

MysticDevice · Answer

There isn't a specific moment. Just when I realize I haven't thought about them in quite a while

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

If I was over her completely I would immediately block her or delete her contact.

legalboxers · Answer

here

Anonymous · Answer

When it stops hurting in knowing they are talking to some one else now.

asianfreak · Answer

When you no longer display any emotion towards him/her when that person comes to mind, especially in moments where you least expected it.

Likes2drive · Answer

I guess when you’re trying to date and don’t think about them at all

Reorx · Answer

When we'll stated boundaries are continually crossed.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

I suppose it's when you're finally able to feel relaxed and in peace with yourself

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

No more painful feeling.

slatyb · Answer

You no longer wish you were still with them.

exitseven · Answer

When you no longer look forward to see her.

Debbie14217 · Answer

i like someone else

Nahid1707 · Answer

Hope you move on beautiful 😊

whistlingwh0res · Answer

You see the “shit”

Jamie05rhs · Answer

If they piss me off.

How do YOU know when you’re OVER someone?

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How do YOU know when you’re OVER someone?

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