He said:"If you don't move in with me I'm breaking up." Do I break up then?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend (30 M) and I (25 F) have been together for 18 months. He already asked me to move in 3 times and I've explained my stance on this. First of all, I have my house too and told him I've never lived with a boyfriend ever. Secondly, I explained that I really don't feel comfortable moving in with a man I'm not engaged to with a wedding date set.

I requested him to please tell right now if he isn't dating for my same goals so we can both save time. I don't want my time wasted and end up like one of those gfs that lives with a man for 5-8 years and no wedding. I'm dating for marriage, not to be a long-term girlfriend. He knows this.

Then a couple days ago he started telling a speech about how he's saving money to eventually buy the engagement ring. I told him it doesn't have to be expensive (it doesn't; it can be $50 for all I care; then if he wants to save money to upgrade it later on that's optional) nor elegant. I don't care for the price, never did. I care that he has intention of getting marrying and having kids. I don't feel safe about his persistent of me moving in without any commitment. He started getting defensive how I don't trust him, how a ring needs to be expensive and told me I have days to decide whether to move in with him or it's over.

I'm having a bad feeling about this. I'm not feeling sure. Do I break up? I feel as if he just wants his way when I was very verbal from the beginning what I was looking for. He agreed first but now he keeps insisting me to just move in.

Updates

1 y

broke it off and he was very upset, suddenly accused me of being after marriage, how marriage Is just a piece of paper anyway, that we already have commitment, etc.
I got so hurt and mad that I called him a liar, a user and a future faker. I told him he's a liar because if I was after marriage then why did he agreed to continue dating me. I ended up blocking him and he text me from a different number saying I won't get marriage if I don't live with him first. I blocked that number too.

[Lliam]

You've already gotten some great advice, but I'm going to chime it to give you additional support.

The guy is playing you. He thinks you're stupid.

He's doing the stringing you along game, saying how much he "loves" you. Bla, bla, bla. If he loved you, he would be eager to marry you and start a family. But he wants everything except the commitment. He already has a track record.

He finally overplayed his hand by giving you an ultimatum. He thought you could cave in and wind up paying his bills, being his official housekeeper and chef, as well as convenient sex partner.

You already figured that out, though. Thank goodness.

Tell him that you accept his ultimatum and the break up is official.
Don't listen to him when he tries to back peddle. He's a liar and manipulator. He'll try everything from apologies to guilt trips and accusations. Fuck him.

I know how hard it is to go through withdrawals from someone you love. But you can do it. I've done it. And things worked out for the best. It will for you, too.

At this point, you already know that he's not someone you want to bet your life on.

You sound like excellent wife/partner material. Someone with whom to build a happy, prosperous life. You'll find the right guy. It's inevitable.

Unfortunately, as it turned out, this guy you gave your heart to isn't mature or ethical enough to build a life with. You found that out. It's time to move on and leave him in the dust.

My best wishes for a long, wonderful life of joy and fulfillment.

[Asker]

This pretty much. I broke it off and he was very upset, suddenly accused me being after marriage, how marriage Is just a piece of paper anyway, that we already have commitment, etc.
I got so hurt and mad that I called him a liar, a user and a future faker. I told him he's a liar because why didn't he tell me that from the beginning, that if I was after marriage then why did he agreed to continue dating me. I ended up blocking him and he text me from a different number saying I won't get marriage if I don't live with a man first at least. BS. I texted back saying F You and blocked that number too.

[Lliam]

Basically, he realizes that he screwed himself LOL.
But you forced him to finally admit that he was totally lying about an "engagement" ring and never planned to marry you.

He DOESN'T want commitment even though he tried to convince you that you already have "commitment".

What you did was 100% right. Good for you. You've got intellect and backbone.

I always thought that marriage was a once in a lifetime thing. It would be the most important decision I would ever make because it's forever. It's a solemn vow; a pledge of honor that you make publicly before your family, friends and God (if you believe in God). It's a lifetime commitment that you make "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death".
It's not just a "piece of paper".

I had girlfriends from the time I was 16 but I wasn't ready to get married. I didn't string them along with promises.
It wasn't until my early 30s that I started thinking of settling down and finding a partner to share the rest of my life with. By then had seen enough of the world, had fun, gotten experience, matured mentally, and become financially stable.

When I found the right woman, I married her. THAT'S when we officially moved in together.

We've been happily married now for almost 28 years, had LOTS of fun and built a wonderful life together. We love each other deeply and are totally committed to each other.

You will find the same love, trust, dedication, security, happiness and fulfillment one day because you set those goals for yourself and believe in those values. My wife and my marriage has been a success because we both had those goals and values, as well.

[Lliam]

Thank you for the MHO. :-). 🌷🌹

[nawtee_me]

Yes, don’t let someone bully you into doing something you don’t want to do or are not ready to do. The bulling will continue into other areas too.

[Asker]

I'm going to break up today. I know where this is heading if I were to move in with him. I'll then likely either don't get propose and became the forever girlfriend or be proposed to but with no wedding date aka the long-term fiancee. I've heard of that too, of men keeping a woman as a fiancee for 3 years. Lol

[nawtee_me]

I am sorry for you having to go through that; you shouldn’t have to you are better than that. I know things get said in the heat of the moment but in most cases what is said are the actual feeling that might not come out otherwise. What he said about marriage only being a piece of paper and you just wanting marriage is probably how he has felt for some time. He just wouldn’t say it until ye was pissed off enough.
I think you did the right thing and if you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you…,

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the classic ultimatum move – spicy but not always the most romantic way to handle things, right? It sounds like you've been clear as crystal about your relationship goals and boundaries, which is terrific! Communication is key, and you've nailed that part.

Now, onto his grand gesture of an ultimatum. It's a big red flag waving at you, signaling potential control issues or a lack of respect for your boundaries. Love is about compromise and understanding, not about who blinks first in a standoff.

You're standing at a crossroads, indeed. If his pushing for cohabitation feels like a bulldozer to your carefully constructed boundaries, it might be time to consider if this relationship pavement is leading you to your desired destination – marriage and commitment on your terms.

Lovebombing and then shifting to ultimatums? That's a tango that might lead you off your own dance floor. Trust your gut, darling. It's whispering (maybe even shouting) for a reason. A relationship should make you feel secure, respected, and cherished, not cornered. If staying true to your values means walking away, well, that might just be the bravest love story you write for yourself.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. When someone gives you ultimatums, they are motivated solely by their own feelings and desires and they are not thinking about your feelings and desires. That person really doesn't sound like a good candidate for a healthy long term relationship.

2. In a relationship, if someone gives you ultimatums and you give in to the demands, the pattern will continue and you will not be in control of your own life. I doubt that is the future that you want.

[Asker]

I just broke it off. He was indeed a liar. I updated it.

[OlderAndWiser]

If the unwanted contact continues, call your courthouse and inquire about an injunction against stalking.

[coachTanthony]

Your boundary of being engaged before moving in with a man either isn’t respected or is being ignored or wasn’t clearly stated in the beginning. Either way you’ve made it clear now and he’s still disrespecting your expectation and boundary so it’s time to move on! If you were already engaged maybe but you’re not!

[Asker]

I was very clear about it from the beginning. He knew what I wanted, agreed with my stance and now suddenly he wants to change it his own agenda I never signed up for. I'm breaking up because I feel that was misleading. Pretending to agree with someone only to keep them around is lying.

[coachTanthony]

Agree 💯

[Asker]

I just broke up. It's on my update.

[coachTanthony]

Good for you

[HawkPerception]

I have mixed feelings about this. I agree with you on some points and agree with him on some. This scenario is very subjective.

For starters, I think it's better to live together before getting engaged. You learn what it's like to live with that person and whether or not you're a good fit with them. After 18 months of being together, I personally think that moving in is the next step. However, I do think he's rushing and pressuring you to make a decision, which is entirely wrong, but I do understand the desire to live your partner and live your best life.

It should definitely be addressed at the start whether your intentions align, whether you're looking for a life partner or just a long term relationship and not having any plans of being married in the near future. So that should have already been established long ago.

I completely agree with you on the ring concept. I believe that it doesn't necessarily have to be expensive, but it should be a good representation/symbol of the love you share with your partner. I think spending thousands on an engagement ring is dumb and a bit of a waste of money, but I'm also not going to cheap out on it. I'll look for something beautiful that has an aesthetic I love and suits her. Anyone who thinks that a ring's price is the value of your love with a person needs to be mentally checked. By that logic, the richest people in the world's love is more valuable than everyone elses, which is ridiculous.

I personally feel that he does have some red flags and questionable views when it comes to love, but I don't know the guy personally or fully understand his intentions enough to suggest whether or not you should break up with him. But I will say that while they're not 100% accurate all the time, gut feelings (intuition) don't usually lie.

The science of intuition

[Asker]

I was clear from the start about my goals of wanting a life partner and not a long-term boyfriend. He knew I was dating to get married and have kids, not to be a girlfriend for years. I've made my stance clear on moving in once engaged. He agreed to my stance but apparently lied to me all this time to keep me around longer. It's wrong deceiving others just to keep them around. His persistence of moving in started recently, followed by that ultimatum.
Base on his ultimatum along with him wanting me to place my house for rent, how he placed a price on the value of the ring, the way he got so defensive when I refused as of trying to deviate me from my goal and his sudden change in agenda (different than the one we agreed in the beginning) has convinced me to break up today.

[HawkPerception]

Then that's that. I honestly think it's the right call, but didn't want to be a homewrecker. Glad you came to the conclusion on your own.

Randoms online should not have a say on the outcome of your relationship.

[Lliam]

I disagree about moving in together if that means sharing the rent and expenses and moving all your stuff one residence.
That makes it very complicated if the relationship doesn't work out. I've been there, done that.

I do agree with keeping your own places and living together by bring necessities and some clothes to one or the other or both of your places. That truly is the only way to learn what it's like to live with that person and whether or not you're a good fit with them.
I've done that, too. I highly recommend it.

[HawkPerception]

That's a good point and I agree with you there.

[Asker]

I've left him. It's on my update. The break-up ended in bad terms, ended in an angry insulting match.

[Fireguy17]

stick to your convictions.
The one thing with ultimatums is that you have to be prepared to go through with them, or they are meaningless in the future.
Even if you get a ring, will he forestall on the wedding.
You know him way better than we do, but to me based on what you are telling us he will be dragging his feet for a long time.
Then there is your house.
You didn't say if you own it or are renting it.
If you move in with him what would you do with it, sell it or rent it out, or if you are renting do you have a lease and when is that up.
If you own it and sell what happens to that money, is it yours or is he expecting it to be jointly?
There are things you need to get cleared up and in writing, and signed.
My wife, both our second marriages did a pre nup.
It protected our assets for the future just in case.
We have a rather large income and net worth disparity so if the marriage failed, I did not want to be 80 and asking if you want fires with that or have her have to do the same.
So it sounds sketchy at best, so get clear concise dates.
If he doesn't want to, or comes up with more lame excuses I feel then it is time to move on.

[Asker]

I own my house but he expected me to place my house on rent and move in with him.

[Fireguy17]

ouch!
Just on face value I already do not like him, nothing personal on your choice of a SO.

[Lliam]

I agree, Fireguy17.

[Asker]

Guys there is the update. Now I'm suddenly accused of being after marriage. We insulted each other during the break-up. I called him a liar, user and a future faker.

[Fireguy17]

Hopefully that is the end of him.
It's very common that someone will turn things around to make it look like your fault.

[Darkchild25]

No. No way... That's a red flag right there!!! Break up with him why the need to give an ultimatum and be so pushy?


Follow your gut and let him go. You've got your own house, carry on with life and things will fall into place. The right man will come and in less than 18 months he'll propose of his own accord.

[Asker]

Thank you and less I'm plannings to break up today in person (I don't do break-ups through text as they're cowardly) as soon as he gets off work. I'm upset 18 months of my time were still wasted for nothing.
Why can't those men find women on their page, why purposely go after marriage-minded women and lie to us. Then they have the nerve to act upset and place ultimatums when we refuse to follow an agenda we never wanted. I was crystal clear on my goals from the beginning.

[Darkchild25]

I hope it went well for you.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you’re not comfortable, you’re not comfortable. If he’s giving it to you as an ultimatum, tell him that you’re sorry it had to end this way but you won’t move in. Give him back all of his stuff, and maybe change the locks on your doors just to be safe. It sucks but you made your position clear.


I may not personally agree with it, a lot of couples do better living together before engagement statistically but you want the reassurance that he is as committed to you as he does with living together. The fact that he’s gotten so defensive and doesn’t listen to you and your boundaries is a red flag in and of itself. Let him go and stay home.

[Asker]

I don't understand why he didn't date a woman that wants a long-term boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. She would've been ok with living together for years. He knew I was wanting to get married so by lying and trying to waste my time, he's wasting his time too since I'll be breaking up today.

[Asker]

**He knew I was dating with direct intention of marriage.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I don't have a good feeling about that either. I feel like a partner wouldn't keep pressuring their other to do something they've repeatedly stated they aren't comfortable with. And to me it sounds like your body is telling you the same thing, so I'd listen to it. It's trying to keep you safe. None of my sisters ever lived with their partner until they both decided to get a place together (and felt safe).

[Asker]

I wrote an update just now. He was indeed up to no good

[RingOfFire]

I would definitely not move in. If that means breaking up that's what I would do. You have a lot of issues to work out and very different views on things. You need to work on those issues if he's willing before moving in and if he's not willing it's not the relationship for you because that's not healthy.

[Asker]

I'm breaking up today soon. I don't like the fact that it feels as if he lied about wanting my same goal, only to suddenly change it to his own agenda to moving in just as a girlfriend. That's not what we agreed in the beginning.
If he only wanted a long-term girlfriend and living together for certain time, that's something I deserved to know so we could part ways, not lie by pretending to agree with me.

[RingOfFire]

You will find out what happens. He may take this as an opportunity to have an honest conversation with you even if it doesn't happen immediately. Or, he may just let it go. If he does you will know it is not your fault.

[Asker]

Yeah he was up to no good. My hunch was right. He wanted to keep me as a long-term girlfriend (the forever girlfriend) if I had moved in. It's on my update. It's hurts to be deliberately lied to.

[RingOfFire]

I feel really bad for you. Even as a stranger it makes me sad.

But I can tell you from many years of experience, you will love again. And when it happens you will look back and wonder why you ever made such a mistake. But the key is to forgive yourself. Life is a journey not a destination. We live and learn.

[Asker]

Thank you. It really helps. I'm going to focus on some hobbies (I haven't gone to the gym for a while) for the meantime while healing from this.

[RingOfFire]

👍Fell free to DM me any time if you need someone outside the loop to talk to about things.

[Nikki1989]

Never accept ultimatums from a man. Things will only get a lot worse.

[AviatorTom]

Best advice anyone can give... Never give in to ultimatums from anyone.

[Kingofkings1992]

Was saying from a man really necessary? You never accept ultimatums from anyone

[Asker]

True and I just posted an update. The break-up was in bad terms. We ended up insulting each other.

[sheikalana]

OMG dear this is not a good sign at all. You have valid reasons for not moving with him yet and if he doesn't respect your boundaries that's his problem. I think is time for you to move on I don't like the way this story sounds.

[Asker]

I'm breaking up today in person when he's done with work. I've been feeling very doubtful with that ultimatum given. So I have to just move in with him without any guarantee I'll get commitment but he gives me a BS claim about how an engagement rings needs to be expensive even after telling me I don't want an expensive ring and would be happy with a cheap one? I've seen poor people get married too. His explanation doesn't no sense.

[sheikalana]

I don't like that he gave you an ultimatum when you did nothing wrong. That behavior is so manipulative. I hope you manage to stand for the decision you're about to make and stay firm. cut all forms of contact with him and don't allow him back.

[Asker]

It's on the update. I broke up and it became an insulting match. He started it first.

[molonski2]

When people present ultimatums' , particularly like that , just break up with him , he's a selfish fool.

[Asker]

Yeah it's over now. Sadly the break-up ended up in an insulting match. He's mad that he tried to be sneaky on avoiding commitment and instead wanted a live-in girlfriend and likely a maid for God knows how many years. He got upset when I refused to back down from my stance I've established from the very beginning.

[molonski2]

Good on you - Sorry for the conflict .

[sage2021]

He probably wants you to move in to help pay the rent and other bills.
It's called a situationship, not a relationship.
I wouldn't do it.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm not interested in that. I thought I made it crystal clear what my goals were. I'm upset to have still wasted 18 months of my time.

[LazerBean]

Yes, of course break up. Probably should have done that about a year ago

[Asker]

Thank you. It really sucks that 18 months of my time was still wasted.
The few times I really had a bad feeling about something (a strong negative sensation in my stomach and mind), I was right. I'm feeling this way right now, as if I'm to be used if I move in with him.

[boggboss]

Yes end things its clearly not a good thing that he is trying to rush u to move I

[Asker]

Yes and I have a gut instinct (it's like a hunch) he'll then string me along for as long as he wants to. The few times I had a bad feeling about something I was always right.
Now I'm thinking that I'll get used. I'm having second thoughts. Thanks I'm going to end it.

[ImVeryOld]

You did the right thing. Don't regret your decision.

[Asker]

Thank you. No regrets so far. Now I'm going to take a short break to heal from this.

[Account]

Throwing an ultimatum? For sure I would.
I have done so in the past.

[Caroline91]

I think you already know the answer to what is right for you…

[Asker]

The more I think about it the more I think he's of BS. He got so defensive when I refused to move in without an engagement, as trying to drag me into a different agenda (a prolonged live-in maid and cook, without commitment) I never signed up for.

[Caroline91]

Good that you're paying close attention to attitude. Even a ring and a "commitment" doesn't necessarily mean it's real if the intention isn''t really there. I'm sure talking it out here has helped you with clarity. Maybe read again the things you have said here on this thread... I'm sure you will make the best choice. I sincerely wish you a future of happiness.

[Asker]

Yes I also know of a woman that got proposed 3 years ago and the guy keeps postponing things. We're all telling her to leave. She's still dreaming about a wedding that'll never happen. That's another trick they'll do. If they can't keep a woman as a girlfriend, they'll propose and keep her as long-term fiancee. It's basically the same as the forever girlfriend but with the ring.
The length of what many men nowadays will do to keep wasting out time but some of us are catching up to their BS.
I'm not moving in with a man with an engagement and close wedding date set. By close I mean an engagement should be anywhere between a couple months later to a year max, no more.
It's funny how a man turns when we aren't buying their BS. When he figures out there isn't a convincing line to distract me nor change my stance, he relies on ab ultimatum lol.

[Asker]

**I'm not moving in without an engagement and close wedding date set on. He would only get one chance to postpone and it better be for a real, valid reason such as death/illness in the family. I'm an understandable person if it's really something out of his control but not a fool. After that, I won't accept delays. Yeah that removes any BS a man would try to pull on me on delaying things lol.
Thank you for mentioning though.

[Caroline91]

Good for you. Seems to me, if the wedding's that close, why move in at all until afterward?

[Asker]

I just broke it off. It's on my update. It ended in bad terms.

[onedarkcloud]

Time to move on If he wants you to move in and you don't for the reasons you gave. You are being given a peek at what your life with him is going to be like after marriage. Do it my way or else.

[Asker]

Thank you. My feelings towards his previous explanation of how an engagement ring needs to be expensive makes (when he already knows I'm ok with a cheap ring and only care that he proceeds with marriage and kids) Is confirming my suspicions of him wanting me to continue wasting time. I have to suddenly be all understanding about his needs to save money for an expensive ring but he expects me to move in with him already without commitment.
So when we don't buy for their BS and keep firm on our stance, they resort to giving ultimatums. It's sad I've still wasted 18 months of my time.

[msc545]

Trying to pressure someone into doing what you want is a terrible way to start a marriage. You are ver unlikely to find anyone who is willing to meet your rigid deadlines and demands.

Get a dog.

[Asker]

What part of he knew from the beginning I was dating to get married and have kids don't you understand? He knew from day 1 what he was getting into when we spoke about our goals, said he was on the same page, agreed with me and continue being with me. Those were the boundaries we agreed upon. I was crystal clear about what I wanted. He knew I didn't want to be a long-term girlfriend.
If he only agreed with me just to keep me around but all he wanted was a long-term relationship and not a life partner that's on him for lying?
Why should I agree to his sudden change of agenda to move in with him without commitment? Isn't him putting him an ultimatum to put my own house for rent and move in with him just as a girlfriend pressuring me into something I don't want?
Why is it ok for him to suddenly change the agenda, to mislead me? I'm not ok with his agenda. That's not what we agreed to in the beginning.

[msc545]

You are putting the Cart before the horse. Here. The things you want our end goals after a long period of getting to know somebody and subtle negotiation. I can't speak for his motivation, but I know most men when confronted with these kinds of things when initially meeting, somebody would simply turn around and walk away. I guess he wasn't smart enough or insightful enough to do that. So yeah, you should probably break up with him but learn the lesson that confronting people with these kinds of stated goals when you first meet them is a recipe for failure. Give it a well-intentioned well-meaning person is likely to get overwhelmed by these kinds of demands.

[Asker]

Why didn't he walked away in the beginning if that's not what he wanted? Why keep dating me for 18 months? I was only being honest and straight forward about what I want in life.
Deliberately agreeing with person and lying about wanting the same things they want just to keep them around longer Is deceiving others. That's wasting my time. I added my update. Turns out he would've never proposed nor marry me if I had moved in with him. He lied to me. He wanted me to move in so I can continue wasting my good years.

[msc545]

People develop doubts and change their minds sometimes. Seems to me he got cold feet about your "all final and done" deal and wanted to live together to see how things would work out, and you insisted on having things your way or no way. You are not honoring his fears or misgivings, and you are unwilling to compromise. Equally destructive, you have now decided that his lack of cooperation with your plans is due to malice rather than genuine misgivings.

Your unwillingness to see the effect of your plans and demands on others and your unwillingness to compromise will end you up all alone.

[Asker]

If he had doubts he could've communicated that with me instead of waiting and wasting my time. We already would spent enough time with each other, went on a vacation trip once, had been introduced to the family and shares quality time. Is that not enough? After 18 months, why would I still be on the "let's see how things work out" introduction level? The introduction stage has already been done.
Let's pretend instead of breaking up, I had agree to put my house for rent and do the moving in trial period as a girlfriend. What about my fears of moving in, spending another 2-3 years as a live-in girlfriend and he's still not ready for marriage? Then that's another 2-3 years wasted, time I could be someone's wife and have kids already.
Just answer honestly, how long should a woman that wants marriage and kids before age 30 be cohabitating with a boyfriend? Besides just word, how can we trust him that he'll then propose and commit within our timeframe? What if we do not like his timeframe of 4-6 years?

[Asker]

Why should I (who have limited time for healthy kids) compromise? Why should the woman compromise but not the man, who has all the time to have kids?

[msc545]

How long should a woman who wants marriage and kids before age 30 be cohabitating with a boyfriend?

As long as it takes for BOTH people to be happy and secure. Also, both people need to accept that things might not work out. Life is like that. You may need to modify your goals related to accomplishing certain things in a certain time frame, and he may need to accept that you are not comfortable moving in with him right now at this stage of the relationship.

There is a saying in the military: "No plan survives contact with the enemy". While your boyfriend is not your enemy, he is a person with his own plans, fears, and needs. You need to decide that your plans need modification, and so do his. this is what compromise is all about.

[msc545]

You probably would both benefit from couples psychotherapy at this time. You need help with this situation and I think your boyfriend does too.

[Asker]

As long as it takes for BOTH people to be happy and secure... ideally it would be great to take as much time as possible and logically it's not suitable for us to take too much time?
So what if by the time that's reached and they both too all that tme, she's already nearly 40 and the chances of being a mother are very slim?
Then she's very unhappy at the end that she compromised so much, "took as long as it took" but she lost the chance of giving birth?

[Asker]

You're focusing so much on his own fears, his needs, just wants and not my fears and desires as a woman?
Take as much time as it takes isn't won't do if the woman wants to be a mother during her good, fertile years.

[msc545]

You cannot be reasoned with. Do what you want.

[strateguy632]

obviously. if you aren't ready don't submit to ultimatum.

[Asker]

I just broke it off.

[strateguy632]

👍 ..

[Sugar100]

Wish I had a guy tell that to me LOL I’ve never lived with a. Guy before. It’s my dream a guy to beg me for that 😄

[Asker]

Please don't find a man like my now ex boyfriend. He was trying to use me for sex and for me to be a maid, trying to steal my youth, my fertile years and no proposal, no wedding date set. He was trying to keep me as a forever girlfriend, a liar, a future faker.

[Sugar100]

Too late I had a fuckboy like that wasted my time age 18–25 waste my time no mariage nothinh

[Asker]

I'm so sorry for what happened. Yes they're selfish jerks that want easy sex and the romance but no commitment. The few that want commitment are harder to find. Just keep searching.

[Sugar100]

I just want a guy to meet parents. That’s it I want experience that for the first time at age 27. I want a guy come with me to the family parties with my family

[JacobJordan]

When given an ultimatum you always pick the second option. In this case move in or it's over. So it's over

[Asker]

Yup it's over. The break-up ended in bad terms.

[Anonymous]

What an ultimatum. I hate when guys puppet me. I guess we're breaking up then since you're controlling the options.

[Asker]

Yeah I broke up by now.

[Opinion Owner]

Great. Maybe he'll realize what he lost and grow up. By the way, ultimatums aren't all bad, like give up drinking or I'm leaving you, but move in with me, or we're breaking up? seems overboard.

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like u lol. What don't u get. He will never marry u and just using u to get a place

[Asker]

I've made my mind to break up. It's sad that 18 months have been wasted, thrown in the trash.

[DreamLife7]

Girl you're already attached when it's only 18 months? That's nothing

[onedarkcloud]

Not wasted call it a lesson learned use it to not make the same mistake again and don't take things at face value.

[DreamLife7]

@asker the fact you're getting attached at 18 months is not normal something is wrong with u

[Asker]

Well I do love him and it's natural but my time more valuable. It hurts me to have to leave though but I have to do it.

[Asker]

Guys he was really up to no good. It's on my update. He got so defensive that he spoke bad about marriage being just a piece of paper. He never said that in the beginning, only when I stood firm by my stance, what we agreed to since day 1. Wow a total liar, attempting to steal my youth.

[DreamLife7]

How do you love someone you don't even know? 18 months? Girl you seem like the problem not him. He sees you as week and trying to use you because of this

[LiamJHayden]

He's trying to get the benefits without the obligations.

[Asker]

Thank you but I've figured it out and dumped him. It would be great if those men search for childfree women that just want cohabitation. There are still plenty women like that too; less but they're out there too. They should do that instead of wasting time with us serious, family-oriented women.

[Iron_Man]

Do not respond to threats

[Asker]

My gut instinct was right. It never fails. He wanted to continue wasting my years. The break-up was in bad terms though. We ended up insulting each other.

[Joshgag2000]

Sounds like you don’t even love him so break up

[Asker]

It's him that never loved nor respected me and the boundaries established in the beginning. I broke it off.
Turns out he was up to no good. He deliberately lied about wanting my same goal (a life partner) and instead he wanted sex and a long-term girlfriend. That's why he insisted on living in, to keep me as a girlfriend for god knows how many more years, keep wasting my time and no proposal and wedding date. That's not what I signed up for. He lied to me.

[Anonymous]

i assume he was the one that asked you out and hit on you

[Asker]

Yes and that still doesn't make him entitled for a live-in girlfriend. He know from the start what my stance on cohabitation was. I don't do the boyfriend and girlfriend living together for years thing.

[Radiate143]

Yes. He wants a live in maid.

[Asker]

Yeah. He's all upset about not getting unlimited access to sex and meals. I'm upset my he lied about being on my same page in the beginning, only to waste my time.

[Radiate143]

Yes, most men are wasting women's time and reapurces because they are selfish babies. Not all, but most.

[Radiate143]

Re update he has NO DESORE to be your husband and if a marrige happened it would be to shut you up. Please please olease DON'T GO BACI. He decided long time ago that you are not it. He is with you for what you give and that's it. RUN and stay GONE!! So many women's life essence and goodness getting depleted by selfish, man-baby sadists like these.

[Asker]

Update I broke up. Yeah he was up to no good. A liar that attempted to steal my youth, my most fertile years. Our break-up ended in an insulting match.

[Radiate143]

Yep. Jerks.

[Radiate143]

Stay away

[abc3643]

Yes, he's too immature.

[Asker]

Not only that but he attempted to steal my good, fertile years. He wanted me to move in without commitment and he finally admitted that he found marriage to be just a piece of paper. He would've never proposed, never set up a wedding date if I had moved in.

[abc3643]

Yeah, he needs to go.

[abc3643]

Ok ANYONE who says "marriage is just a piece of paper" is immature and inexperienced and needs to be gone ASAP.

[LunarEclipse433]

Absolutely

[Asker]

Thanks. I did that by now.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Break Up!

[Asker]

I already did. I'm free from someone that tried wasting my time.

[slatyb]

Let him go.

[Asker]

I've done so by now.

[In_Trance]

Break up

[Asker]

I just did. Thanks