When two people break up, the first thing most people say is "Move on, he/she doesn't deserve you". They fail to see the perspective of the person who has had their heart shattered.
Why "Moving on" Doesn't Work For Everyone
Picture this: You have just been asked out by a guy/girl you like, you guys date and everything seems happy and then suddenly its over. Your heart is broken, you can no longer sleep. To get help you go to your closest friend and what do they say? "Move on! He/she doesn't deserve you!"
Most people think they are helping when they say this and sometimes they actually are but other times it can be annoying. Maybe this person had a very strong emotional relationship and it isn't easy to let it go, or maybe it was their first real relationship.
Whatever the case may be, if they could move on they would have done it long ago instead of being tied up. Thus simply saying "move on" doesn't always work, sometimes it can actually anger some people because they are fustrated trying.
Really want your friend/family member to move on, take them out to hang out!
But if they tell you that they just really can't than leave them alone, maybe loneliness will help them move on or maybe their ex is the right one and it was just a silly mistake.
There are thousands of possibilites! The trick is not to just say "move on" because sometimes you really can't.
Why "he/she doesn't deserve you" doesn't always work
One of the things I heard a lot after my break up was "he doesn't deserve you" which really got on my nerves a lot.
Most people think this will help their friend move on and maybe the guy/girl was actually an ass but it can also backfire.
You dated this person for a reason, because you liked them and wanted to be with them, thus because you thought they deserved you or you deserved them.
It doesn't help that saying this makes it sound like you dated a loser for many months though it is understandable that they are just trying to help.
If you are trying to help a friend in need, please please avoid saying this as it can prove to be more harmful than beneficinary.
Why saying "there are many other girls/guys out there" doesn't always work
People know there are millions of other people out there but at this moment they just lost someone they really care about in a break up. They don't care about the other people in this world, they just want their person back.
They are blinded by the love they had (unless they are obsessed, then it is best to seek medical help) and just want things to revert to the ways they were for the most part.
One of the answers I have heard for this was "I know but there is no one like him/her" and it is true, we are all different in our own quirky ways.
If you really want to help, just be there for them and do what you can without pressuring them. If you pressure them, they will get upset and block you off.
But my main point in writing this is that not everyone can move on, sometimes it takes more than a few words, or maybe you just feel as if this person is someone you truly care about.
It is understandable that some people want their loved ones to move on but sometimes the best thing to do is to let them be them.
Please be polite and respectful of my and other's opinions and I will do the same.